Chapter Text
Gus and Mattholomule waved, cheerfully and glumly respectively, as the last few members of the Human Appreciation Society filed out of their quick pre-homeroom meeting. Now that the two had been working together, the HAS actually became a relatively popular club. Between Gus’enthusiasm, Mattholomule’s proposal that things can be touched, and Luz’s humanness, the HAS became big enough that Principal Bump even gave them permission to take a field trip to the human world.
“Remember, don’t forget your permission forms! Don’t let cute Grom dates distract you from what’s most important, the human world field trip” Gus shouted to the parting students.
Mattholomule scoffed and lifted himself onto one of the desks, perching there like a gargoyle. He watched fondly as Gus stuck his head out the doorway, giving a few last warnings about late forms. No matter how goofy and cheerful he acted, Gus was an extreme worrywart at the same time.. It was probably number six on the top ten things Mattholomule liked about him. Not that he would ever show that list to Gus.
Once he deemed his work as co-president to be done, Gus rushed over to lean on the desk that Mattholomule was crouched on. Even though Mattholomule was on a higher surface and Gus was leaning backwards, Gus still remained a few inches taller. They spent a few moments in silence, though Gus was becoming increasingly agitated. He kept side-eyeing Mattholomule, mouth opening and closing silently, then moving his hand as if he wanted to cast a spell circle but always stopping before completing it. There was even a trickle of sweat running down his forehead.
“Spit it out, squirt,” Mattholomule gave Gus a rough slap on the back. “You look like you’ve got something to ask or that you need the little witchling’s room.”
Instead of retorting, Gus turned to face him and flashed the crooked smile that he started to think was charming and suave ever since he turned fourteen. Mattholomule thought he really should know that his puppy eyes were far more effective than the carefully constructed swagger he learned from his human teen magazines, but saying that aloud would be too embarrassing. Though it’s probably for the best Gus didn’t know how effective his puppy eyes were, because if he learned how to weaponize it, there would be no survivors. Mattholomule, of course, would be the first casualty.
Now Gus robotically slings an arm around Mattholomule’s shoulders, his practiced smile becoming increasingly strained. Mattholomule would be embarrassed for Gus if he weren’t leaning in so close, too close, and rubbing jerky circles on his back. The whole thing was a mess and he was lapping it up. He cursed his own teenage brain for actually liking the awkward attention. He also cursed his fifteen year-old self for developing such a big crush on Gus that any physical affection he received made him feel disgustingly warm and giddy on the inside.
“Matty, buddy, pal,” Gus pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow in a vague imitation of the handsome men Mattholomule used to ogle at on the covers of human magazines, using what Luz called the smoulder or something. “Bro, if being cute were a crime, you’d be in jail right now”
Ah, the line Mattholomule wished the human men in the magazines would use on him. . . when he was thirteen. At sixteen, he was way past that low.
“Ugh, you look constipated when you do that with your face,” Mattholomule rolled his eyes and gave Gus’ cheek a sharp pinch.
Gus yelped in pain. He put one hand to his cheek, pouting angrily at Mattholomule who couldn’t help but to laugh.
“If you want something from me, you’ll have to work harder to impress me. Simple human persuasion tactics don’t work on clever guys like me,” Mattholomule said, gesturing at him with a limp wrist.
“Human persuasion? Don’t you mean human fli-” Gus stopped himself short and blushed.
Instead of finishing his sentence, he shifted to stand rigid and straight in front of Mattholomule, towering over Mattholomule’s slouched form who had the sudden urge to check if his hair looked okay.
It was Grom season, and the halls were filled with cloyingly sweet Gromposals and squeals of laughter. Some part of him hoped that he was about to receive one, one that was full of all the drama and flair Gus could manage while keeping away from the prying eyes Mattholomule hated so much. He wouldn’t squeal like Skara and Luz did yesterday, obviously not, but maybe he would even be daring enough to give Gus a hug.
With one hand he took Mattholomule’s and with the other he began to draw a spell circle. Mattholomule felt his face grow increasingly warmer, even burning up the tips of his ears. If he looked closely, Gus might have been blushing too.
“Mattholomule, will you do me the honor of-”
Before he could finish his question, the school loudspeaker coughed to life.
“Attention Hexside students, this is your principal speaking,” rasped Principal Bump.
Gus looked annoyed at the interruption. His spell circle fizzled when his hand fell to his side, but his other hand still gently held Mattholomule’s.
“This year I have the honor of bestowing the highest honor of Grom Royalty to Augustus Porter,” Principal Bump said. “As a reminder, due to new Grom rules, Grom Royalty can choose a date to fight Grom with them. This is optional, of course. Now everyone get to your homeroom in five minutes or I’ll let the detention snakes out of their pit.”
The loudspeaker unceremoniously fizzled out.
And they were still holding hands.
“Gus?” Mattholomule slid off the desk and stood in front of Gus, hands still clasped together. “Are you going to be okay fighting Grom?”
Gus stared down blankly at their intertwined hands, after a few seconds he forced himself to laugh.
“It can’t be that bad, I mean,” his nervous smile morphed into a smirk, “I am a master illusionist.”
Mattholomule scowled and used his free hand to squeeze one of Gus’ cheeks again.
“I’m worried about you, brat,” hissed Mattholomule. “I’ll remind you it is pretty deadly.”
Gus’ expression softened, “I’ll be okay, really, Matty. I didn’t help Luz defeat Belos without becoming at least a decent fighter. You don’t need to worry.”
“Pfft, whatever,” Mattholomule scoffed. “I’m just big enough to admit that I would not want to go up against that thing. I’d trip, fall over, and pass out in front of a live audience.”
Mattholomule looked down at the ground, hitting himself for rambling yet unable to stop his dumb mouth from babbling on.
“Isn’t it embarrassing?” he muttered. “I would hate for those people to all stare at me as I get scared shitless. I’ve had enough of that at Glandus.”
He swung their clasped hands idly, trying not to look too small in front of Gus. Yet, something was a bit off, Gus seemed upset if his frown was any indication.
Unsure of what to do, Mattholomule changed the subject.
“By the way, what did you want to ask me before Bumpy’s announcement cut you off?”
Gus froze, arms becoming stiff. His eyes darted back-and-forth. First to Mattholomule’s face and then to the Grom poster hanging innocently on the wall. It was pretty much the same as all the previous year’s posters, but ever since Luz and Amity defeated Grom as a pair, letting Grom royalty choose a date to fight with them became the new tradition, one that Gus would likely want to follow.
Mattholomule would try not to be too jealous when Gus chose some powerful and cute witch to be his date and to fight with him. Even if Gus did like him back, fat chance, he barely even got Gus to like him as a friend, there was no chance he would since he was fighting Grom. He’d choose someone strong so that they wouldn’t drag him down like Mattholomule would.
Okay, maybe he would be jealous, despite being a weak witch he still wanted to protect Gus from his fears. He would use up all the magic in his bile sac just to make sure Gus was okay. So maybe he did want Gus to ask him, just so he could personally make sure Gus got out safe and sound.
Or maybe it was a good time for the good old “summon giant hole to swallow me up because I can’t face my feelings” spell that he perfected a few years ago.
Instead of that, he decided to relax a bit by pestering Gus a bit more.
“Gus? We don’t have all day,” Mattholomule muttered. “I really can’t tell if Bumpy is joking about the detention snakes and I don’t want to find out. Plus, whatever you were gonna ask seemed like it was important.”
“I wanted this to be grand and spectacular, so amazing that even Luz and Amity would be jealous! But maybe I should just ask you straight since I’m Grom Royalty and all,” Gus said softly. “I want to know what you really think.”
The hand holding his squeezed a bit, and he squeezed his right back. When Gus intertwined their fingers, Mattholomule didn’t stop him.
“Mattholomule,” Gus started.
As if the universe didn’t want Gus to ask his question, the classroom door burst open to reveal Luz. She left the door open and bounced over towards the two of them.
“Hey boys!” she shouted, way too energetically for the time of morning it was. “I was told to come fetch Gus because Illusions homeroom is gonna start soon and flirting is a bad excuse for being late, mister.”
She bopped his nose and snickered at their entangled hands. Mattholomule thought he might pass out from all the blood rushing to his head.
“Luz, can you give us a moment?” Gus whispered, shooing her away with his hand. “We’re gonna talk about something important.”
Luz gasped and covered her mouth with her hands with a giggle. Shooting a last wink before she moved to close the door.
Before she could, a familiar reptilian face peaked in.
It was Chappy. Oracle track student. Fan of Willow. Great enjoyer of screaming Hexside gossip at the top of his lungs.
“Whoa! Hey everyone, look! It’s Grom King Gus and he’s about to ask Mattholomule to-”
Gus ripped his hand out of Mattholomule’s, rushed over to the door, and pushed Luz out the door, slamming it in the Oracle Track student’s face. He turned back towards Mattholomule, frazzled. His eyes darted towards the prying students and even a few instructors that now gathered to peer in the small window in the door while Luz tried, in vain, to usher them to their homerooms.
“As Chappy so kindly pointed out,” Gus bellowed, projecting his voice for those behind the door, “I was going to ask Mattholomule to borrow his human oracle orb! Haha! No juicy gossip here!”
“My human oracle orb?” Mattholomule repeated, he felt his blush drain away and his patience dwindle.
“Yes!” squeaked Gus. “That’s what I’ve been waiting to ask you all morning.”
“That’s so lame!” shouted a voice, who must have been Boscha, whose face and scroll were squished against the glass.
With a low murmur, the crowd outside the door dissipated, their attention and interest having dissipated. By the time Luz had rushed the last few stragglers out, it was practically time for homeroom to start.
“You seriously made all that fuss for my human oracle orb?” Mattholomule asked.
“Yes?” Gus rasped.
“Dumb excuse, twerp,” Mattholomule said, making sure to reach up and give Gus’ forehead a flick.
He took out his shrunken school bag and transformed it back to its normal size. He took out the human Oracle Orb and shoved it into Gus’ bag.
“I know you well enough that you weren’t going to ask such a dumb question. Come talk to me when you’re ready,” Mattholomule said. “Plus, that crowd left a bad taste in my mouth.
Without waiting for a reply, Mattholomule rushed out the door.
Once he left, the loudspeaker came to life again and Principal Bump’s voice rang out.
“All students should be in homerooms at this time. As a note, Gromposals and flirting, as stated on page 42 of our rulebook, are not a valid excuse for being late to homeroom. So, I really have let the detention snakes out. I’m not joking this time. Try not to die.”
Gus flopped onto the hard classroom floor with a heavy sigh. He drew a spell circle that covered Mattholomule in an invisibility spell until he got to homeroom so that he wouldn’t get dragged to detention and another that made an illusion of himself to attend his morning classes. He grabbed the human oracle orb and gave it a half-hearted shake.
“Human Oracle Orb, did I mess up like those stupid boyfriends do in every Human Romcom Luz showed me?”
The blue triangle mockingly told him: As I see it, yes.
“Is he mad at me? Like really, actually, never-wants-to-see-me-again mad at me?”
Unlikely.
Gus perked up a bit, giving the orb one more shake.
“Does he still think I’m cool?”
Reply hazy, try again.
Each subsequent answer was the same, meaning that even human magic knew the answer, which probably ment that he was in a bad place.
He fell back onto the floor, idly asking the orb questions until it was lunchtime. Somehow, maybe because the Hexside student body was small, he was lucky enough to remain undisturbed as he wallowed in pity in the empty classroom. The hours passed quickly, yet seemed to last a lifetime, as he pondered his life choices, romance, and whether or not human CDs could qualify as cookies. Once the lunch bell shrieked, Gus trudged to the cafeteria where he could at least cry to Willow for some advice.