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Every time she looked at the man next to her, a fresh wave of amazement washed over Bazett. As a girl, she’d read and listened to the tales of Cú Chulainn with rapt attention. Bazett cherished the memories of that childlike fascination, especially since her life as a magus had forced her to cast aside her youthful nature far earlier than any young woman ought to. But she couldn’t complain, because it had led her here. ‘Here’ being by the side of her hero, giving him fashion advice.
Bazett pulled a suit from the rack and thrust it in front of Cú’s body. It was difficult to tell how a suit would look without trying it on, but she had a good feeling about this one. The navy color was the same hue as his hair, but it was subdued enough in comparison that it didn’t make Cú look as if someone had dumped a bucket of bright blue paint over his head.
“What’s wrong with the one I picked out?” he complained.
“It’s plaid. You’ll be laughed out of the interviewer’s office.” Cultural differences and personal taste aside, didn’t he realize that no one else was wearing such garish prints? Bazett would be exasperated if the whole thing wasn’t so delightfully funny.
“Fine,” he grumbled, mournfully setting the plaid jacket aside.
Cú Chulainn certainly wasn’t the man her fantasies built him up to be, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. She’d fashioned him in her mind as both a knight and shining armor ready to sweep Bazett off her feet and a tragic figure who Bazett herself could save. A paradox, but fantasies didn’t have to be logical, nor did legends. The real Cú was indeed a paradox, but in a much more...human way. For example, Cú was a proud warrior, yet he relegated himself to menial jobs which he got fired from on a weekly basis. He was a handsome, virile warrior, but he had the flirting skills of a preteen boy. He was a dignified military leader, but also a fun-loving rapscallion.
The Cú Bazett had imagined made a better childhood crush, but the Cú standing beside her no doubt made a better friend.
“How do I look?” Cú asked.
Bazett nodded approvingly. As she suspected, the suit..well, suited him. “I think we have a winner.”
“Hah, those interviewers don’t stand a chance.”
“What, you’re going to fight them? Or smooth-talk your way into a job with your manly wiles?”
“I wasn’t trying to imply either, but if the suit fits…”
Bazett snorted. “It’s the shoe. ‘If the shoe fits,’ is the saying.”
“You’re not saying I have to buy new shoes, too?” Cú whined.
Bazett gave a light huff and rolled her eyes. “No, I— wait, you’re joking.”
“You make fun of my clothes, so I get to tease you some. It’s only fair.”
“I suppose,” Bazett said with a smile. “Come on, let’s go pay for this.”
They passed the section with women’s suits on the way to the register. Cú paused, and Bazett sighed, knowing what he was about to suggest. “Why don’t you get something for yourself?” he asked. “You’ve been wearing that,” he gestured at her attire, “every day for the last few days. I’m starting to think you don’t have anything else.”
“How do you know I don’t have multiple of the same outfit?” she countered. It was partially true: she didn’t have duplicates of the jacket or pants, but she did have several plain white shirts.
“Then that’s even more pathetic.”
“I’m not the one trying to find a job, though.”
“But are you trying to find a man? If that’s the case, then maybe you should go to a place where they sell dresses.”
“Keep your voice down,” Bazett hissed. Cú looked around and raised his eyebrows. There was no one remotely near them in the store, and certainly not anyone either of them knew. Cú realized he’d stumbled on a sore spot, and Bazett knew he wouldn’t let up until he’d milked it for all its worth. “I don’t care about seeming attractive to men,” she said.
“Ladies, then?”
Bazett shook her head. “No, although you’re not the first to wonder that about me.”
“Are you interested in anyone at all?” Cú looked genuinely curious.
“Well...once upon a time, I thought I might be. But he wasn’t interested in me that way.”
Cú propped his elbows on a nearby rack and rested his chin in his hands in an exaggerated expression of interest. “Do tell.”
“There isn’t much to tell. He was a coworker. Maybe a friend, if I’m being generous. I enjoyed his company, but I knew a relationship between us would never work out.”
Cú nodded and put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder as he guided her toward the register. Bazett was thankful that he knew when to stop prodding. He paid for the suit, and at the cashier’s suggestion, a black tie with red stripes that matched his eyes, with his “hard-earned” cash.
They emerged from the store and into the bustling Fuyuki streets. “Wanna grab lunch around here? I’ll pay,” Bazett offered.
“Sounds good to me.”
They walked for a while, and to fill the silence, Bazett decided she’d try to pry more personal information out of Cú. She wasn’t normally the nosy type, but in her defense, she’d been waiting for the chance to pick Cú Chulainn’s brain since she was six years old. If he was truly interested in fairness like he’d said before, he’d be willing to match her private confession with one of his own.
“So, Cú,” she started. Bazett liked the way the name sounded on her lips. “You had a Master after me, correct?”
“Yeah, a real bastard. We didn’t have much of a relationship. He mostly regarded me as his tool. Can’t say I’m sorry he’s dead.”
Guilt twisted Bazett’s insides into painful knots. She had summoned Cú into the world with the intent to save him from a tragic ending, yet the exact opposite had occurred. Any suffering he endured here was her fault. “I’m really sorry you had to deal with that,” she said, knowing the apology was woefully inadequate.
Cú shrugged. “It was a war, and wars tend to attract bastards. It was unpleasant, but he didn’t hurt me or anything, mostly just left me alone. It wasn’t as bad as I made it sound.” From the short time she’d known him, and from his legend, Bazett had gotten the impression that Cú didn’t like to dwell on his pain. Out of respect for this, she resisted the urge to offer more apologies or sympathies.
They found a cafe that looked appealing to both of them and went inside. Bazett explained the different types of coffee, and before long they each had a mug of hot drink in their hands.
Cú clinked his mug against hers - very gently, so the steaming liquid didn’t spill - in a mock toast. “To the death of one shitty priest,” he mumbled, then took a drink.
Bazett’s shoulders stiffened. “Er, what?” Cú had never given her an inkling that he knew about that. Why would he bring it up now, of all times, and as a joke?
He swallowed before speaking. “Oof, that’s hot— oh, yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that my old Master was a priest.”
Bazett almost spit out her coffee. “Was this priest’s name by any chance...Kotomine Kirei?”
“Yep. I know you met him, since he…well, you know what happened.”
The world was spinning around her. This couldn’t be happening, but like every other thing in Bazett’s life that should be impossible, it was happening. “Kirei was - oh gods, I can’t believe I’m having this conversation. He’s...the man I told you about earlier.”
Every set of eyes in the cafe honed in on the two of them as Cú slammed his mug into the table. “Excuse me?!”
Bazett wanted to fall through the floor. She gave an awkward smile to the waitress who was looking at Cú like he was a ticking bomb. “If you make fun of me for this, I will throw this hot coffee in your face.”
“I was just surprised! I never imagined the guy you were talking about was your murderer. No offense - well, actually, a little offense.”
“I know, I know. But there was a time when Kirei wasn’t like that,” Bazett sighed. Ever since she found out that Kirei had killed her before the start of the Holy Grail War, she’d applied her considerable willpower to avoiding dealing with her feelings on the matter. She knew she couldn’t repress her emotions forever, but she didn’t expect to have to confront them today, here of all places, with Cú of all people.
“Go ahead and tell me about him,” Cú suggested. His kind tone warmed her heart. “You don’t have to, but I think you want to.”
They’d only known each other for a short while, but already they knew exactly what the other would say and do, and could read each other’s thoughts with ease. They would’ve made a splendid Master-Servant pair. The idea was bittersweet, but Bazett already had enough feelings of regret to contend with, so she pushed the thought aside. “I met him eight years ago when I started working for the Mages’ Association and he was an executor for the Church. We used to fight together on missions. He was a solitary person without any friends, so I made an effort to get to know him. I trusted Kirei, and confided in him. He listened to me and gave me good advice. Whenever he complimented me, it made my day because I knew he meant it.” Bazett felt a stinging at the corners of her eyes. She blinked it away. “Then he invited me to be a Master, and I was so happy. But he played me for a fool, and you know how the rest turned out.”
“I thought you met him because he was the overseer of the War. I never knew his betrayal was personal. I know what it’s like for relationships to go bad, so I can confidently say: that sucks.” Cú grimaced. “I almost wished the priest was still alive so I could have the pleasure of killing him again.”
“Everything that’s happened since his betrayal has been so surreal.” In the literal sense, since Bazett was living in an altered reality, but examining that too closely gave her a headache. “I know I should be more hurt than I am, but it’s barely registering as something that actually happened. Also, hold on, did you say you killed Kirei? ”
“Indeed I did.” He grinned, glad for the opportunity to boast about his triumph. “He met the business end of Gae Bolg.”
“Huh. A part of me always thought that Kirei couldn’t be killed by anything. I suppose that’s just my admiration for him talking.”
“No, he was an extremely skilled fighter. It would be difficult to defeat him in hand-to-hand combat, even for a Heroic Spirit. But he wasn’t expecting his own Servant to backstab him.”
Bazett stared into her cup as she processed the information. “I probably shouldn’t be saying this about someone I once considered a friend, but - well done, Cú Chulainn.”
“Thanks. You have every right to be glad, though. Savoring the defeat of one’s enemies does a body good.”
“Honestly? I can’t hate Kirei for what he did any more than you could hate your opponents in battle.” Cú’s legend emphasized the friendliness he extended to those he was about to fight to the death. Bazett had thought it strange when she was young, but her experiences with the other participants in the Holy Grail War - artificial though they may be - made her appreciate Cú’s mindset. “I was ready to kill people in the War, and betray them personally if that’s what the situation called for. Both me and Kirei enacted violence for a living. I’d be a hypocrite if I begrudged him for doing his job.”
Cú drained his cup and motioned for their waitress (who was still giving him the evil eye) to bring him another. “I getcha. You make a good point. But don’t forget that Kirei’s official job as overseer was to protect the participants of the War. The bastard cheated.”
Right. She’d been meaning to clarify this point ever since Cú revealed the identity of his Master, but there was so much else to unpack that Bazett had forgotten. “About that. Why was Kirei a Master in the first place?”
“Hoooo boy. Where do I start with this?” Cú ran a hand through his hair. “You know that Kirei was a Master in the Fourth Holy Grail War, right?”
“Um.”
“I take it that’s a ‘no’?”
Bazett said nothing, which confirmed Cú’s suspicion.
“Well, he was a Master, ten years ago. Apparently that’s before you met him. He won - sort of? He died and the Grail brought him back to life. Also, the Grail manifesting caused the Fuyuki fire, which I’m sure you know.” Bazett nodded, and Cú continued. “After that, Kirei dedicated himself to discovering more about the entity that caused the destruction. Avenger, or Angra Mainyu. His job as a priest was just a cover for all that.”
Ironic, that the being Kirei had sought out was now Bazett’s own Servant. Was Kirei truly expecting the incarnation of all the world’s evils? Avenger was just a person doing his best to live an ordinary life despite his trauma and circumstances. Then again, that description could also apply to Kirei himself. Bazett felt like at that moment, she understood more about Kirei than she ever did while he was alive. “Alright,” she said after a few moments. “I understand everything so far. It’s crazy, but it fits in with everything I know. Please continue.”
“He cut—” Cú paused, realizing that referencing Bazett’s dismemberment would probably upset her. “He stole your Command Seals so he could have me as a Servant. Kirei had me spy on the other Masters so that— oh, you’re going to love this.”
Judging by Cú’s tone, Bazett was, in fact, not going to love this. “What is it.”
“Remember how I said Kirei cheated? That goes beyond violating his role as overseer and stealing your Command Seals.” Bazett’s expression must have been incredulous, because Cú laughed, showing off his pointed canines as he did. “That’s right, there’s more. Kirei had two Servants. Any guesses who the other one is?”
It was telling that Cú had said ‘is’, not ‘was’. Despite the hint, Bazett didn’t have a clue. She considered giving a joke answer, but sarcasm was a foreign tongue to her. By nature, she was blunt and to-the-point. Only recently, and largely because of Cú’s influence, had she started to act differently. “I really don’t know,” she said. “An Assassin Class Servant? That seems like his style.”
“He basically made me into an Assassin with all the sneaking around he made me do,” Cú scoffed. “But no. An Archer Class Servant, and one you know: Gilgamesh.”
Bazett let out an involuntary laugh. Every moment she imagined Kirei and that pipsqueak together caused another fit of giggles. Cú watched her with fond amusement as she composed herself. “That kid was Kirei’s Servant? But why?”
“He was Kirei’s Servant in the Fourth War. The Grail gave Gilgamesh a physical body, and Kirei supplied him with mana for ten years. He was an adult at the time, but he has a potion that turns him young. It’s pretty weird if you ask me, but at least it keeps his annoying adult self out of the way.”
“Two Servants,” Bazett mused. In a way, Bazett also had two Servants of her own: Lancer, although only briefly, and Avenger. The part of her that had looked up to Kirei for eight years and wanted to emulate his talent swelled with pride.
“Anyway, Kirei had me act as a scout so he could keep Gilgamesh as his trump card and defeat the other Masters when they were least expecting it. All this so he could win the War and birth Angra Mainyu into the world. But since he was living on borrowed time from the last War, he was never going to outlive this one, even if he won,” Cú finished explaining.
“Wow,” Bazett said. She was at a loss for words. The whole thing was a farce. The Grail War, too, was one big, cruel joke. It seemed like Kirei had learned that lesson the hard way, and now Bazett was learning it herself. “Sorry. There’s so much to take in.”
Then, Bazett continued with a grin. “I do have one question.”
“Only one? I’m surprised.” Cú idly stirred his coffee. “Ask away.”
“Did you and Kirei ever...you know...transfer mana?”
“Yeah, in the entire Grail War, I never once needed mana.” Cú’s snark couldn’t hide the blush creeping up on his face. Making a demigod squirm was an unexpectedly satisfying feeling.
“You know what I mean,” Bazett pressed.
“No, not in the way you’re thinking.” Cú relented. “Since I didn’t do much fighting, I didn’t need a lot of mana anyway. What little I did need, Kirei provided in...other ways. No, it's nothing sexual, and believe me, you do not want to know, and I do not want to talk about it.”
The way Cú spoke gave Bazett a terrible feeling of dread. She’d seen her fair share of ugliness in her time working for the Mages’ Association, so she knew how to recognize the signs of horror on another’s face. She was quiet for a few seconds while the dark feeling dissipated, then decided to lighten the mood with more frivolous questions.
“Well, did you ever think about transferring mana with him?”
“This again. You have a one-track mind, you know that?” Cú rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Unlike some people at this table, I wasn’t into Kirei that way. He was attractive, I’ll give you that, but I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole.”
“That’s fair,” she conceded.
Bazett wanted to ask him something else, something to do with his legend, but she had to think about how to phrase it. To fill the time, she ordered a panini for herself and a plate of rolls for them to share. When she returned to the table with their food, Bazett knew what to say. “Okay, I have another question.”
Cú was already halfway through a roll before Bazett had even pulled out her chair. He gave her a withering look in the absence of being able to say anything.
“Do you find that danger makes you more attracted to a person? You loved Emer, but there were also Aífe, Ferdiad, Scáthach - all of whom are people you fought alongside or against.”
Cú swallowed before giving an enthusiastic answer. “Fighting gets your blood flowing, and so does being around someone you’re attracted to. When you have both, it’s doubly exciting!”
Bazett recalled the times she’d been in battle with Kirei on their missions. The danger they faced together made Bazett feel connected to him in a way she wouldn’t have felt otherwise. Whenever her heart raced upon seeing Kirei’s muscles flex, whenever her blood heated up when his eyes would focus on her, a part of her was remembering the excitement she’d experienced beside him in combat. “I think that’s why I’ve been so fixated on Kirei all these years despite knowing nothing would ever come of it,” Bazett replied. “Every other man I meet seems bland in comparison, just because we aren’t throwing ourselves into mortal peril together.”
Cú considered for a moment, his eyes indicating to Bazett that he understood her feelings. Then he asked, “What about Avenger?”
“Absolutely not.” The thought was almost enough to turn Bazett off her sandwich. “What about Gilgamesh?” she shot back.
“I barely interacted with him, and when I did he was always either in his kid form, drunk, or calling me a dog. So that’s a no from me.”
“Caster?”
“She’s beautiful, but kind of insane. And married. I don’t go for married women anymore.”
“Archer?”
“Y’know, I thought he was sexy until I realized he was Emiya Shirou.”
“Rider?”
“Stunning and very much my type, but we’ve never faced each other in battle, so not relevant here. Are you done yet, or are you going to make me explain why I don’t have the hots for Berserker and Assassin?”
Bazett did her best to appear chastised. “Fine, I’ll call off the interrogation.”
“Look, you’re going to have a long career doing mage stuff, and you’re going to meet plenty of eligible bachelors on your missions. And they won’t be evil, and hopefully they’ll be a little closer to your age.”
She knew she looked put out, but she couldn’t help it. “Logically I know that. And I’m not actively looking for a relationship right now - honestly, I don’t want one, not in the near future. But it’s still…” she trailed off.
“A lot,” offered Cú.
“Definitely a lot,” Bazett agreed.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, each of them lost in their thoughts. Then Cú reached around the table and poked Bazett, startling her back to the present moment. “Permission to share a funny Kirei story?” he asked.
Any trace of unpleasantness Bazett might’ve been feeling was replaced with warm gratitude. She was glad she had a real friend now, not just a distant substitute. “Please do,” she beamed.
“Did you ever sleep in the same room with him on missions? This is relevant, promise.”
Bazett wasn’t sure if she was blushing, but she covered her face by taking a bite of her panini, just in case. “Not that I can remember. Maybe once.”
“Sad that you were never able to experience this for yourself. Anyway, Kirei snores.”
Before she could help it, Bazett was exhaling a stream of air into her coffee. She alternated between fits of laughter and coughing as she wiped what she’d spilled off her face. “That isn’t that funny,” she said, although her outburst proved she didn’t believe her own words.
“His snoring is funny, though. You’d agree if you’d heard it,” he insisted.
Bazett narrowed her eyes. “And would you know this unless you were sharing a bed?”
“He’d fall asleep on the couch.”
The mental image made Bazett giggle. “That’s even funnier.”
Cú nodded in agreement. “I mentioned this to Gilgamesh - probably the most pleasant interaction we ever had - and he said that Kirei only snores the nights after he eats mapo tofu for dinner.”
“I think I remember him talking about mapo tofu. He said it was the only food he’d ever enjoyed.”
“That’s the one. By the way, I tried it, and it’s horrible.” Cú made a face.
“Speaking of horrible,” Bazett said, gesturing to the remainder of their lunch, “we should take the rest of this with us.”
Cú fetched a to-go bag from the counter. “If you think the food is so bad, then I’m taking the rest of it,” he said.
“I don’t think it’s bad, but I needed an opening to suggest we leave. It’s getting late, and that waitress was looking impatiently in our direction,” she explained.
“Sorry, my fault,” Cú admitted sheepishly. Then he brightened up. “That means she’ll remember me. Do you think if I come here another day and ask her out, she’ll say yes?”
Based on the way she was looking at him, Bazett couldn’t imagine the answer would be ‘yes’, but she didn’t have the heart to shoot down Cú’s hopes. “It’s worth a shot. You’ll have a better chance if you come wearing something other than that Hawaiian shirt.”
“Oh right.” Cú grabbed the bag with his newly purchased suit and tie from under the table. “Wouldn’t want to forget these.”
“For a second, I thought you were leaving it here on purpose so you’d have an excuse to come back.”
“Nah, although I like the way you think.”
After paying, they exited the cafe. The sidewalk traffic was much lighter now, as they’d stayed long past the time when people travelled back to their workplaces from lunch. Bazett checked her watch - they’d stayed far too long, but that was typically how it went when she and Cú were together. It was like they were catching up on lost time, and she supposed that in a way, they were.
Bazett helped Cú figure out which bus he needed to take. They were travelling in opposite directions, so it was time for them to say their goodbyes.
“Next time we meet up, hopefully we’ll have more pleasant things to talk about,” said Cú.
“I enjoyed our conversation today, honestly,” Bazett reassured him. “But I would love to hear all about your successful job interviews.”
“Hey, don’t get your hopes up.” Cú rubbed the back of his neck, fiddled with his ponytail. “If I don’t end up with a job - don’t give me that look, I said if - you can always tell me a funny Kirei story of your own.”
Bazett smiled. “I’d like that.”