Chapter Text
“Jack, Jack I don’t know if you’re the father,” Mel tells him, her eyes filling with tears.
“What?’ Jack manages, dropping his hands from her face and backing away from her.
“I can explain,” she begins, and when he doesn’t say anything, she continues. “When I was in L.A. visiting Joey after our breakup, I was devastated. I felt like I was losing everything, all over again. I wanted a future with you. I wanted everything with you and you were gone. I thought my only chance at having a baby of my own was gone, because I didn’t want to have one with anyone other than you. Joey reminded me that I still had embryos leftover from when Mark and I had fertility treatments…” she trails off.
“So, you’re telling me that this baby might actually be Mark’s and not mine?” he clarifies, standing and moving further away from her.
“Yes,” she whispers.
"And when were you planning on telling me that you did this?” he questions, an edge to his voice.
“I didn’t think I could get pregnant. I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I just felt so hopeless. I thought I had lost you forever.”
“And then when you came home, and we were together…” he trails off, trying to process.
“I’m so sorry, Jack. I’m so, so sorry. I love you so much,” she begins to sob.
“No!” he says forcefully. “I know I screwed up by ending it. It was a huge mistake. It took you going to L.A. for me to realize that I don’t want to live without you. I can’t…” he pauses, running his hands over his face.
“I thought we were over. You told me to have faith in you, in us. That you were always going to be there. I told you that I loved you so much that I would and could never get over it if something happened to you, and you walked away from me,” she is rambling, tears streaming down her face. “I thought it was the only hope I had left.”
He removes his hands, and she can see that he is crying too. Her heart breaks all over again. “Jack,” she breathes, her eyes searching his.
“I know that I made a mistake,” he says, turning to face her finally, “And I’ll always regret it,” he adds. “But…”
“No,” she interrupts him. “I knew then that I would never love another man for the rest of my life, not the way that I love you. You’re it for me. And if I couldn’t have your baby, it was the only other option.”
He doesn’t say anything, staring off at the sunrise for a moment. “You said that whatever it is, we’d get through it,” she continues. “Can we get through this? Are we going to be ok?”
“I don’t know,” he replies, his voice soft. “I love you, Mel. I love you more than anything, more than my own life. And I’m so sorry that I broke your faith in me. But I’m going to need some time to think about all this, ok?”
“Ok,” she nods, her eyes silently filling with tears. He helps her stand and gathers up the blanket before they turn and head down the mountain to the cabin. He stays quiet the whole way, clearly deep in thought.
When they reach the cabin he unlocks the door and they step inside. He glances around, his hands deep in his pockets, his eyes not meeting hers. “I should probably stay at the bar,” he says, beginning to gather up his things.
“Jack, please,” she pleads.
“Don’t,” he tells her. “I just need some time.”
She nods, moving to sit at the kitchen table, tears silently streaming down her cheeks as he gathers his things. He pauses in the doorway to look at her before slipping out the door without a goodbye. As soon as the door closes behind him she begins to sob, her body shaking with the effort of trying to keep herself in check for so long.
Jack rushes to his car, eager to clear his head. His mind is reeling. He knows he messed up by breaking up with her, but he never thought in a million years that she would do something like this. Does she even love him at all? Is he only ever just going to be second place to Mark? What if the baby is Mark’s and not his? Will he really be able to handle that? Does he love her enough?
His hands are shaking by the time he reaches the bar. Brie has left a note saying she left town, but he barely notices it as he throws his things down in his room and collapses on the bed. He feels a lump in his pocket and rolls over to pull out the offending object, revealing the ring box, already forgotten. He clutches it tightly in his hands, realizing that only moments ago he was ready to spend the rest of his life with Mel. In fact, he was absolutely certain of it. He’d never been so sure about anything in his life.
And now…
He closes his eyes tightly, picturing the pain in Mel’s eyes as she told him what she had done. He thought about how it felt to be without her, even for a few days. His heart clenches as he stands and begins pacing the room. Would he be able to stay with her and raise Mark’s baby as his own? Does she even want it to be his?
Somehow of their own accord, his feet are carrying him back in the direction of Mel’s cabin. He opens the front door without knocking and steps inside to find her curled up on the bed, still crying. She sits up, startled by his presence, and looks at him questioningly.
“I held you in my arms. I made love to you,” he says, his voice trailing off and he runs his hands over the kitchen counter. We were together right here and you knew! You knew that you could be pregnant with Mark’s baby and you still didn’t tell me! Didn’t I have the right to know? All those times since, you looked me in the eye while we made love and you didn’t tell me! All those times you said you loved me…” he trails off.
“I do love you!” she insists.
“Do you even want the baby to be mine? Do you hope that it’s his?”
“Jack,” she begins, but he continues.
“I don’t know if I can handle being your second choice,” he admits.
“What are you talking about?” she asks.
“Mark,” he replies. “I know how much you loved him. I know if he were still alive, you’d be with him right now.”
“I don’t know that,” she insists. “Jack, please. This isn’t about Mark.”
“Isn’t it though? Isn’t it always?” he snaps. “You can’t honestly tell me that this isn’t just another way to hold onto him.”
“That isn’t fair,” she responds. “I was desperate! I thought it was my only option! And I’ll admit it did occur to me that I would be keeping his memory alive if I had his child.”
“So you didn’t consider how I’d feel at all?”
“We weren’t together anymore! You ended things!” she stands, facing him across the room. “Don’t you get it? The reason I was so broken is because I wanted a future with you, a baby with YOU, and you rejected me! Of course I want this baby to be yours!”
“You do?” he asks.
“Yes! I love you, Jack, more than I could ever tell you. You keep telling me how strong I am to have gotten through everything, but I couldn’t have done it without you. You made me whole again. And yes, I loved Mark, he was my husband, but you’re the love of my life!”
He stops pacing and looks at her, really looks at her. He marvels that despite everything, despite the fact that he’s furious with her, and her eyes are bloodshot from crying, her hair is matted, and her face is red and swollen from crying, that she’s still the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. He takes a tentative step towards her, unable to resist the magnetic pull he feels whenever he’s near her. He stops mere inches away from her, taking her hands in his and leading her toward the bed.
“Jack…” she starts. “Shh,” he removes her boots and gently lifts her legs up onto the bed. He quickly reverses course, locking the door and turning off the lights and then heads back to the bed. “Jack?” she starts again, but he quiets her. Jack climbs in behind her, pulls her body tightly into his, smoothing her hair back behind her ear. “Shh. Its ok.” “I’m sorry” she whispers. “I’m sorry too.” Jack whispers back.
He holds her until her tears subside and her breathing evens out, until he feels her body relax into his. He strokes her hair while she sleeps, pressing light kisses to her forehead. Right now the only thing that matters is her. Eventually, she begins to stir, her eyes fluttering before fully opening, and he sees a flicker of joy before her expression morphs to shame.
“Jack,” she whispers. She moves closer to him, pressing her lips to his. When she tries to deepen the kiss, he breaks it, holding her face in his hands. “Jack,” she says again, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he replies. Her hands move to the buttons on his shirt and he stops her, holding her by the wrists. “I’m going to need some more time,” he whispers.
“Jack,” she breathes, his name a plea on her lips. He shakes his head, placing his finger lightly on her lips to silence her.
“I know we’ll get through this,” he reassures her, pulling her into a hug.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Mel wakes in the darkness, feeling Jack’s side of the bed empty. She gets out of bed and walks around the cabin, peering out the front window to see that his truck is gone from the driveway. She feels nauseous all of a sudden, running to the bathroom and emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. After splashing some water on her face, she climbs back into bed, trying to fall back asleep, but her eyes are wide open, heart pounding. Her hands trail over her still flat abdomen. “Please be Jack’s,” she whispers to no one.
She is wracked with guilt. Guilt over her decision to try IVF again with Mark’s embryo, guilt over keeping it from Jack, guilt for hurting the man she loves, and most of all guilt that she wants the baby to be Jack’s. Joey’s words echo in her mind, “this is a way to keep Mark’s memory alive.” At the time, it was comforting after having lost everything, including Jack. But now, it makes her feel sick to her stomach. She knows she loved Mark with all her heart, but now, with Jack, it’s stronger somehow. “I’m so sorry, Mark,” she whispers out loud.
It’s only then that she registers the sound of the cabin door closing. She leaps out of bed and rushes to the door, peering outside to find Jack walking briskly toward his truck.
“Jack!” she exclaims.
He turns around, “I knew it!” he grits out bitterly, “I can’t do this, Mel.”
“Can’t do what?” she asks, “Forgive me?”
“I told you I can’t handle being second, when you’re the only thing in this world that matters to me. I built my entire life around you! Every decision I’ve made since we met was about you, about me wanting to make you happy!” he is nearly shouting, exasperated.
She doesn’t, can’t respond. Mel stands there frozen into silence, tears cascading down her face. He’s waiting for her to say something, she knows that, but she knows, no amount of words are going to be enough in this moment. This is going to take time.
He suddenly finds it too hot, his chest is tightening and he just cannot look at her anymore. Jack breathes in hard through his nose, does an about face and grabs for the door of the truck.
“Don’t you dare walk out on me again, Sheridan!” she yells, “Fight. Turn and fight, for US.!”
“I can’t fight a ghost!” he grounds out, his voice hoarse and broken, “I can’t fight a baby because it’s daddy isn’t me! And I can’t, I can’t fight myself every single minute thinking that this would have been the best idea for you to have made from the beginning!”
Jack is tired. He senses the empty spaces in his boots, his feet searching for ground that feels less shaky. He hadn’t been drinking, but he sure feels like it. He suddenly sinks onto the front bumper of his truck, his head dropping.
“This is tearing my guts out, Mel. There have only ever been two things in my life that I have felt this sure about, the Marines and you. But this is tearing me apart. I can’t...I just don’t know what to do anymore!”
“Jack,” she begins, but he holds up his hands.
“Stop, don’t,” he insists. “I love you, and I know for sure now that that will never change. No matter what. But now I just need you to give me some time, ok? Please.”
“Ok,” she says resignedly. He climbs into the truck and drives away.
Mel crumples to the ground, allowing herself to give into her emotions. She wishes she could just take everything back, that this could just be Jack’s baby, that she could be wearing his ring right now.
Her entire body begins to shake, and she manages to get back inside the cabin and reach her cell phone.
“Joey,” she says into the phone. “I ruined everything, and now he’s gone for good, and I don’t know if he’s ever coming back.”
“Mel?” Joey replies, “What is it? What happened?”
“I’m pregnant,” Mel whispers, choking back sobs.
“Oh honey, that’s wonderful!” Joey says, the joy evident in her voice.
“No it isn’t!” Mel retorts, “I don’t know if the baby is Mark’s or Jack’s. Oh Joey you should have seen his face when I told him! He took me to see the sunrise this morning, and he got down on one knee, and I just had to tell him!”
“He was going to propose?” Joey says, shocked. “But wait, you only just got back together a few weeks ago.”
“I know,” Mel responds.
“Would you have said yes?” Joey asks, “If you weren’t pregnant, I mean?”
“Yes,” Mel answers in a heartbeat.
“Oh honey,” Joey responds, “I’m so sorry. I should never have suggested this if I knew you were going to get back together with Jack.”
“It’s not your fault, it was my decision. I thought I had lost him. And then I thought that this would never happen, that I could even be pregnant. And now Jack thinks that I don’t love him, that I’m still trying to hold onto Mark. And he just doesn’t get it. Joey, I love him so much, I almost ache with it.”
“Then tell him,” Joey replies.
“I tried, but he wouldn’t listen,” Mel begins to cry again. “Oh, Joey, what am I going to do?”
“You’re going to be patient with Jack like he was with you,” Joey responds. “Because he’s going to need to forgive you even if the baby turns out to be his. And if not, you need to know that he’s still all in.”
“And what if he can’t forgive me?” Mel sniffs.
“Then you can always come back home,” Joey replies.
Mel hangs up the phone, knowing she isn’t going to be able to sleep without Jack by her side.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
After a restless night, Jack finds himself driving to the hospital to see Doc and Hope. “How is she?” he greets Doc, who looks just as exhausted and broken as he feels.
“Her fever broke, but she still hasn’t regained consciousness,” Doc replies, looking in the direction of Hope’s room. “Is Mel with you? I wanted to run Hope’s latest test results by her.”
“No,” Jack replies, his voice cracking.
Doc studies him, “Everything ok, son?”
“It’s ok, I don’t want to burden you with anything,” Jack starts to say, but Doc cuts him off.
“Honestly, I could use the distraction,” Doc insists.
“Well, you know that Mel and I broke up a few weeks back, and she went to L.A. to help her sister. And apparently while she was there she got herself implanted with Mark’s embryo left over from a previous fertility treatment, and now she’s pregnant and she doesn’t know if the father is Mark or me.”
“Holy hell,” Doc mutters, shaking his head in disbelief.
“I had it all planned out. I was about to propose to her and she told me. How could she do this? Did she ever love me at all? I feel like all this time I’ve been competing with a ghost.”
Doc takes a deep breath, “Listen son, I know you love Mel, and I know she loves you too. What you need to decide is if that love is enough. Whether that baby is yours or Mark’s, do you want to be with Mel?”
“Of course I want to be with her, I love her,” Jack responds, “But I don’t know if I can be a father to a baby who isn’t mine. I don’t know if I could look at that baby and not wonder if she was just settling for me because she couldn't be with Mark. Plus, I have the twins and Charmaine to think about.”
“It isn’t fair to Mel to think that way,” Doc says, “There’s no way to know what might have happened if Mark had lived. All I know is that fate has brought you to this moment, and now you need to decide what you’re going to do about it.”
Jack runs his hands over his face, leaning back in his chair. “Take it from me,” Doc tells him, “You don’t want to spend the rest of your life full of regret. There is nothing more important in this world than love, and if you’re lucky enough to find it, then you’d better hold on like hell to keep it.”
“Thanks, Doc,” Jack replies weakly, while the older man pats him reassuringly on the shoulder.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
For the next few days, Jack is involved with tracking down Preacher and dealing with Brady’s arrest, and he doesn’t see Mel. It doesn’t escape his notice that even though he hasn’t been near her in days, her presence is part of the fabric of his life, quite literally even in the clothes he’s wearing today, a simple black t-shirt and dark wash jeans. He’s setting up for breakfast when she walks into the bar, her expression a mixture of trepidation and sorrow. He feels his heart flutter at the mere sight of her.
“Hey,” she says quietly as she takes a seat at the bar, looking him up and down, a slight blush on her cheeks.
“Hey,” he replies, pressing his lips together firmly. She bites her lip, a gesture he knows all too well. “What?” he prompts her.
“Nothing,” she bites her lip again, and then adds, “You look really great today. Amazing, actually.”
“Yeah?” he replies, raising his eyebrows at her.
“Oh yeah,” she breathes, and his heart begins to pound. She has no idea the effect she has on him, and for a moment he forgets everything and only sees her. He quickly recovers, retaining his stoic exterior.
“How’ve you been?” he questions, not really looking at her.
“Not great,” she replies. “You?”
“Same,” he answers.
“Do you think that maybe you could come over later for dinner? I can make us something. I miss you,” she adds.
“I miss you too,” he responds.
“So I’ll see you later, then?” she asks, and at his nod, she turns to leave.
That evening, he nervously paces around his room, unsure of whether to change his clothes. He decides to keep on what he wore earlier, since she seemed to like the way he looked. When he reaches the cabin he knocks tentatively on the door and it opens to reveal her dressed in a pale blue dress that hugs her curves in all the right places, and now it’s his turn to stare.
“You look gorgeous,” he says, the compliment slipping out naturally without thought.
“Thank you,” she says. “That is a very good look for you.”
He smiles, his first real smile in days, and she returns it. He follows her into the kitchen and helps her carry the food to the table before sitting down next to her. They busy themselves with filling their wine glasses and plates in silence.
“Jack,” she begins, “I know that saying I’m sorry isn’t enough, but I need you to know that you mean everything to me. I know that I messed up, and I’m sorry if my actions made you think that I don’t love you, because nothing could be further from the truth.”
“Mel,” he interrupts, “You don’t have to…”
“No, please just let me say this,” she insists. “This,” she says, pointing at her abdomen, “Wasn’t a way for me to hold onto the past with Mark, it was a way for me to still have a future. I thought I was facing a life without you, without a family. And that to me was more painful than anything I’ve ever gone through before. Yes, I loved Mark. He was my husband, my first real love. But when you walked in on me apologizing to him the other night, I was apologizing because I love you more, because I so desperately want this baby to be yours.”
“You do?” he questions.
“Of course I do. I’ve never felt a connection this strong with anyone in my entire life. I feel drawn to you in ways I can’t explain,” she stands, pulling him up out of his chair by the hand, the electricity crackling between them. “Do you feel it too?” she asks. She runs her hands over his shoulders, his chest, and over his abs. “And when we’re together,” she lowers her voice, “It’s phenomenal. God, Jack, I can’t even put it into words.”
“I know,” he replies, his voice soft.
She tilts her head up and presses her lips to his, tentatively at first, before moving to deepen the kiss. He instinctively wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer as his tongue explores her mouth. She moans into the kiss, and he walks her backwards until they’re falling onto the bed together.
“Jack,” she breathes, and he freezes, suddenly unsure.
“I’m still hurt,” he admits.
“I know,” she says. “And like you told me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you how much I love you. I learned that there’s one thing I want more than being a mother, it’s you.”
“Prove it now,” he returns, his voice like silk, and she doesn’t need to be asked twice. Her mouth is on his in an instant, pressing his body with hers into the mattress, straddling his hips with her thighs. She feels him respond for a few seconds before he grows still beneath her, pulling his lips away from hers.
“Jack,” she pleads, but he pushes her off him, rolling onto his side before standing.
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” he says.
"Please, please don't go!" begging she takes a step around the bed toward him. That broken look spreading across his features once again.
“No!” she shouts suddenly, surprising them both, her voice cutting through the pattering of rain hitting the roof of the cabin. “NO!” she yells, her voice growing in volume and urgency. She flings open the door to the cabin and runs out into the darkness, heading toward the fringe of trees next to the cabin, her feet bare, the rain instantly soaking through her dress.
He follows her to the doorway, peering out into the darkness, catching a glimpse of her golden hair in the trees. “Mel!” he shouts, his voice echoing through the trees. It’s then that he hears it, as she emits an earth shattering scream that shakes him to his core. “Mel!” he runs toward her, “Are you ok?” he asks, but his question is drowned out by the sounds coming from her. He finds her with her arms wrapped around a large oak, holding onto it as if her life depends on it.
“No, no, no, no, no!” she howls, “I can’t, I can’t, I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” she screams, her body shaking with sobs.
He wraps his arms around her from behind, pulling her back into his chest, the rain drenching both of them. “Get it out, I’m here,” he says.
“No!” she says again. “No you’re not!” she cries, pushing him away forcefully, her tears mixing with the rain streaming down her face. “Oh my God, what have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE?” She starts punching the tree, which he knows has to hurt.
He grabs her wrists in his hands, “Mel, stop! Mel, look at me. It’s ok.”
“Nothing is ok! NOTHING!” She pulls her wrists from his grasp. “Don’t you get it? I’ve lost EVERYTHING! There’s nothing left!” she presses her hands into her chest, as if to try to physically hold herself together.
Jack’s mind flashes back to when he found her screaming in her car, bemoaning the loss of Mark and her daughter. Only this is much, much worse. The level of emotion, this pain, is gut-wrenching in its intensity. He’s never witnessed anything like it. “You are the strongest person that I know,” he tries feebly, his voice muffled by her sobs. “You lost your husband,” he adds, “It’s completely understandable.”
“No!” she yells, her voice jarring. “I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost YOU, Jack!” She dissolves into tears, sliding down the ground. He moves to pick her up and lead her back to the cabin, her entire body shaking from the effort and the cold. He brings her inside, rushing to get a dry towel and wrapping it around her shoulders as she continues to shiver and weep.
“Mel?” he asks tentatively. “You haven’t lost me, I’m right here.”
“But you’re not!” she replies, “You don’t understand!”
“I know that you’ll always love Mark,” he says softly.
She sighs heavily, exasperated. “Yes I will, but what I feel for you is so much more powerful than I ever thought possible! Jack, I need you. I want to marry you. I want to spend forever with you.”
“Seriously?” he wonders.
“I love you more than anything. I’m so sorry that my actions have made you question that. It was because I thought I had lost you. And it just made me crazy. I won’t survive without you. Jack, please.”
He looks at her now, really looks at her. She’s soaked, her hair plastered to her head, damp with rain. Her makeup smudged and running down her cheeks, and yet she’s still beautiful to him. He takes a step toward her, reaching for the zipper on her dress before lowering it and allowing it to fall to the floor, pooling at her feet. His eyes never leave hers as he stares at her intently, removing all of her remaining clothing until she is bare to him. Reaching for the towel, he gently dries her, paying careful attention to every inch of exposed skin. She shivers, her heart pounding as she looks at him.
“Do you feel it too?” she whispers, unsure. When he doesn’t respond, she takes the towel and drops it to the floor, reaching for his t-shirt. He allows her to remove it, trembling when she trails her fingers lightly down his chest, over his abs, and to the waistband of his jeans. She peels them from his body along with his boxers and he steps out of them. She retrieves a dry towel and gives him the same treatment, drying his hair, his back, her eyes never leaving his. She feels a glimmer of hope when she sees how turned on he is, and she wraps the towel around both of them, pressing her body into his. “This is where I belong,” she whispers, “Right here with you. Always.” She threads her fingers into his hair, looking up at him with a mixture of desire, love, and hope. And suddenly, he can’t take it anymore.
His lips are on hers in an instant, and she kisses him passionately in return, her tongue tangling with his. He lifts her and she wraps her legs around his waist as he walks them to the bed. She pauses, pressing her forehead against his in a gesture he knows well, and he feels it, this connection that he has with her in mind, body, heart, and soul. He lowers her onto the bed, his body covering hers. He kisses her again, only breaking the kiss when he feels wetness on her cheeks.
“Baby, what is it?” he asks gently.
“I was so afraid,” she whispers, “So afraid that I’d never have this again. That I’d lost you. Please, Jack. Please, I need to feel you.”
“I love you,” he tells her.
“I love you more,” she responds, pulling his mouth back down to hers. They kiss hungrily, her body arching up to meet his. He feels his resolve begin to crack. The thoughts of how he could have lived without her, without this becoming more absurd with every kiss, every touch. “Jack,” she breathes, rolling them over until she is on top of him, pinning his hands over his head with hers. She grinds her hips into his and he moans. Their fingers interlace as her lips descend to his neck, kissing and nibbling her way down his body. She releases his hands as her lips and fingers explore every inch of skin in her path, and when he looks up to gaze into her eyes, all he sees reflecting back is pure fire.
“You’re incredible,” he starts to say, but she sits up and places a finger on his lips, silencing him. She wants to be in control, and it dawns on him that this is a profound shift in their relationship. She has initiated with him many times before, but usually allows him to take the lead. He looks up at her in wonder.
“Do you have any idea how insanely sexy you are?” she asks, her voice breathy. “I want to make you feel the way that you make me feel,” she whispers into his ear, and he moves to kiss her, but she backs away, a hint of mischief in her eyes. “Do you know that every single time I’m near you I want to be with you like this?” she presses herself against him for emphasis, and he groans. “And when we’re together,” she continues, sliding down his body, “I never thought I could want this much, ache this much.” She takes him into her mouth and he moans, his hands fisting into the sheets, his body struggling to maintain control.
“Oh my God, Mel,” he grits out, realizing he’s never been this turned on in his life. He threads his fingers into her hair, holding her in place as she takes him even deeper into her mouth. Just as he feels his release begin to build, she sits up and kisses her way back up his body.
“Your eyes,” she continues, “Are the most gorgeous shade of blue I’ve ever seen. I could stare at them forever. Your lips,” she says, kissing him lightly, “Have me mesmerized,” she traces his dimples with her fingertips before kissing him deeply. “Your kindness, your loyalty to everyone you love, your passion, your integrity, your strength. I’ve never known anyone like you, Jack Sheridan.” She kisses him again, “But even more than that,” she stills him, placing her hand over his heart, “Is your heart. The way that you love so completely.” She holds his gaze, “I’m yours, completely. Are you still mine?”
He feels it now, his heart opening again to her as he falls even more in love with her than he ever realized was possible. He nods, “I’m yours.”
She gives him a breathtaking smile before kissing him passionately. Slowly, she lowers herself onto him and they begin to move together. His hands are in her hair, on her breasts, holding her hips as he moves inside of her. She is nearly frantic, pressing herself into him, trying to pull him impossibly closer. He looks up at her, seeing nothing but passion and love in her eyes. “Jack,” she whispers, tears in her eyes, her lower lip trembling. He flips them over, entering her even more deeply, and she moans. He kisses her everywhere, her lips, her neck, her breasts. He takes a nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it as he sucks lightly, loving the sounds she is making as she threads her fingers into his hair, anchoring him in place as he drives into her with long, hard strokes. He keeps up the pace until he feels her convulse with the force of her orgasm, crying out his name. He follows soon after, kissing her tears away until he collapses on top of her, spent.
He rolls onto his side, his arms wrapped tightly around hers, his fingers lightly trailing over her hair, her skin.
“Do you know the moment I knew I was in love with you?” she says into the darkness of the room.
“The day you told me?” he asks, and she laughs a little.
“No, before that,” she replies. “I knew I liked you from the moment we met. We connected right away, and I felt it too. I knew you were special. I realized I loved you when you showed me the cabin for the first time, and we kissed. But I knew I was in love with you when I went to L.A. the first time.” He visibly flinches at the mention of L.A. and she cradles his face in her hands. “Hey,” she tells him, “It isn’t my home anymore, you’re my home.” He looks down, not meeting her gaze. He looks down, takes a breath, centering himself, then meets her eyes letting her know she can continue.
"I was waiting for Joey to bring out another bottle of wine, laying back looking at the sky and I couldn't see any stars." She draws a line across his chest with her fingertip. “And all I could think about was you. I moved here to get away from everything that was hurting me, and I ended up finding so much more than I ever thought possible.
“I get if you don’t want to be with me anymore...if this baby isn’t yours,” she manages.
“I don’t know how to be without you anymore,” he admits, “I barely made it a few days before I was running back to you, back where I belong.”
“Jack,” she whispers, “I understand if you need to know before you decide anything.”
“I know that I love you, more than anything. I know that I can’t imagine my life without you…” he trails off.
“I have to go for my first ultrasound to see how far along I am, and they can do a blood test when I’m around 9 weeks...assuming I make it that long. They just need a blood sample from you and from me to see,” she explains, nervously studying his face.
“Ok, if that’s what you want,” he replies, but the shallow, empty tone has returned, and she snuggles close to him.
“Jack, look at me,” she insists, and when he finally does, “All I want is you. Do you think you can forgive me?”
“Well,” he says, the familiar twinkle in his eyes that she loves so much returning, “I think it’s safe to say that you shouldn’t travel alone anymore. Never know what you might do.”
She laughs, shoving him playfully. “Jack!” She leans her forehead against his, feeling the electricity crackling between them, stronger than ever. “I love you,” she whispers.
“Oh, baby, I love you too,” he tells her, “More than you’ll ever know.”
She rolls on top of him, kissing him deeply, her hands roaming over his body.
“Again?” he quips, earning another laugh from her.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you,” she returns, lowering her lips back to his once more.