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The Princess was hasting down the halls, ignoring the shocked and surprised eyes from the guards and servants she was passing. She didn’t noticed the faces anyway through the milky mist before her eyes. Azula could hear the worried screams from Zuko, Suki and Ty Lee from down the hall, who tried to keep up with her but she only moved her legs faster to reach her personal rooms. She wiped her eyes quickly with the sleeve of her training robe while she continued her flight from the training ground. The Firebender slammed the door shut and leaned herself against the hard wood while more tears started to float her eyes. The sobs wrecked her as she moved a shaking hand over her tummy carefully.
“Azula…?”
Sokka barely managed to dodge a fireball the Princess had thrown at him in instinct. He could see raw panic and shock rushing over her face the moment the fireball had been sent on its way but the expression was gone as the warrior had finished his quick role to escape the flames. All what was left was anger and something different lingering under the mask the Firebender had set up. The Water Tribe’s man couldn’t place a finger on it but the expression was intimidating and alarming at the same time and it twisted his guts in an awful way.
“Azula. What happ…?”
“These are my rooms, peasant! Leave! Now!”
Azula’s voice was trembling but Sokka frowned at the timbre. Something was off here. He raised his hands in defense while standing up.
“I know that Azula, I just had planned to surprise you since I feel we still need to talk after…”
He was cut off by a glare from the young woman which was able to make his stomach turn upside down.
“No. It was a mistake and we both should have known better.”
Sokka felt his heart racing and cold sweat came to his forehead. He could see Azula fighting her emotions but the growing sadness and desperation in her golden orbs was choking his heart. The woman in front of his seemed to grow smaller and more fragile with every word while silent tears were streaming down her cheeks.
“We should have known that our friendship would become awkward after such a step. We should have known that you cannot simply go back to normal after such a night. We should have known that this would change everything and that you cannot undo this anymore, so for Agni’s sake…
L e a v e!”
Sokka has dared to tiptoe closer to Azula while she was talking to him. The Princess had lowered her head so he was sure she hadn’t noticed it but he was too busy to watch his steps to reach her that he missed the dangerous change in her voice. He moved his hands forward to place them on Azula’s shoulders.
“No way I’ll leave you now. I don’t know what happened but…”
A hard punch in his guts took the air out of his lungs instantly as soon as his fingers touched the fabric of Azula’s training robe. Azula sidestepped him with a fast move and slammed the coughing warrior hard against the doorframe while twisting one of his hands painfully up his back until it reached almost his neck. Pain stung instantly through his arm and hand and he was sure that only a little flinch of her would let pop out some joints any time. A dagger of blue flames approached near his face and he could feel her hot breath on his neck.
“I said leave and this is the last time that I’ll offer the option to leave on your own two feet.”
Azula let the flames die and opened the door again with one hand ignoring the guards, her brother and the two Kyoshi Warriors who had finally arrived her room too. She shoved Sokka out of her room into the group and slammed her door shut again without any further word of explanation.
Sokka collapsed on his knees still coughing. It took him the help of Suki and Ty Lee to get up on his feet again. The Fire Lord was busy slamming his fists against Azula’s door but his tries to get her open the door again or at least to get any sort of reaction fell on deaf ears. The Water Tribe’s man took some long and deep breaths until he faced the shocked and worried faces of Suki and Ty Lee.
“What happened here? Why is Azula so shaken and…” Sokka hesitated a moment. “…desperate?”
Ty Lee only wiped her eyes and Suki’s face got darker but the Captain managed to answer.
“We don’t know.”
The deep concerns in the warriors voice alarmed Sokka and he faced the Captain with his blue eyes. Suki took a deep breath to compose herself but it was only a dark whisper behind the hammering of Zuko against the door.
“Azula has taken distance from us since the Fire Lily Festival last month.”
Sokka felt his heart cramp at this quote and he noticed Suki’s eyes narrowed instantly. Her eyes seemed to pierce him while continuing her explanation.
“We have given her all the space she had asked for and first it seemed that she was on her way back to normal but since last week something changed.”
Sokka gulped heavily. Suki’s eyes kept locked with his blue ones.
“She isolated herself suddenly, she cancelled almost every scheduled meeting when possible and she skipped the regular training with us until today. We were worried but we also were relieved as she showed up for training today. Everything seemed to be as usual until she failed to perform a simple block.”
Sokka frowned in confusion while Suki took his arm. The Kyoshi Warrior nodded at Ty Lee who took defense position while Suki were guiding his arm to mimic the move from training.
“It was a simple strike against the stomach which is easy to block and easy to use as well to start an counter but Azula did none of this but jumped back instead and was suddenly paralyzed and shaking.”
Ty Lee’s eyes watered again after she had made the block movement anyone would had expected from a skilled fighter. Her voice was teary as she continued Suki’s explanation.
“I don’t get it Sokka. She looked so scared at this moment and then she rushed away from training in terror and tears. She has been so happy as Suki and I were celebrating our engagement at the Fire Lily Festival. What has happened to her? What has… Sokka?”
The Water Tribe’s man had taken a step back from Ty Lee who was sharing a questioning look with the Captain.
“Suki…? He just looks like Azula did right now, didn’t he?”
Suki’s eyes narrowed. Sokka’s face had lost color and he was shaking badly. He passed the two women and caught Zuko’s fist in motion to get the attention of the Fire Lord.
“I need to talk to Azula. Alone. Now. And I need your help to get in there.”
Azula had no idea how much time had passed as she finally noticed the dead silence from outside her room. She had retreated herself into her personal bathroom as soon as she had slammed the door shut to collapse at a corner where she had allowed her sobs to wreck her completely. She had pressed her hands over her ears in a desperate try to cage out Zuko’s tortured voice and the frantic hammering of his fists against the wood but it hadn’t worked. It seemed like her own pulse had picked up the beat to amplify any hit within her ears, but now the silence was screaming at her even louder.
Azula pulled herself up and shambled over towards bath tube. Normally she’d have called for her servant but she didn’t want to see anyone right now so she prepared a hot bath on her own with the last strength.
Three times she reheated the water but the warm water failed to remove the cold and fatigue of desperation within her muscles and bones and she could feel the hot tears coming back to her as she dried herself up in front of the mirror.
This was all her fault.
She had been weak that night.
She had dared to gamble with a friendship she had learned to value the most during the past years and now she was paying the price.
Azula took a silken night robe she had picked from her wardrobe before and dressed herself checking her silhouette. Her hand carefully rubbed over her belly. The last chance to ignore it was gone since a week now and she could feel her Chi floating differently since two weeks but she had ruined it.
She had called it a mistake right the next morning.
She had ruined the friendship with this step and has ruined a chance for a relationship the next morning. Sokka has been so hurt so he had left at the same day. Never ever Azula had expected that he’d return. But she couldn’t tell him. She was sure it would sniff out any rest of good feelings for her if she’d tell him.
A hot wave of anger rushed over the Princess as she observed her pathetic reflection in the mirror. This fragile and trembling woman who was rubbing her belly. She thought she could deal with it but she wasn’t even capable to deal with a simple training.
The Firebender placed her second hand protectively on her belly. Normally this strike wouldn’t have mean any trouble but at this moment all she had felt has been fear.
Fear about what would happen if she’d fail to block this hit.
Fear about what would happen if she’d fail to handle this on her own.
Fear about what would happen to handle this at all.
Fear about what would happen if she’d redo mistakes her parents have made.
Azula sunk down to the ground and pulled her knees towards her chest as new sobs came to her. She faced the weeping woman inside the mirror.
“What should I do?”
More tears came to her eyes which begged for any sign of hope from the golden ones of her reflection.
“I can’t do this. I can’t do this on my own. I can’t. I’m not made to be a…”
“Then what about trying to do this together?”
Azula’s heart skipped a beat. She didn’t dare to turn around but her eyes caught the reflection of a man with blue eyes at the mirror. Sokka was standing in the doorframe of her bathroom and since Azula made no move he dared to walk over to her. He got down behind her and placed his hands on her shoulder carefully. The Princess felt her heart racing and she started to tremble at the touch of the man. Sokka’s voice was shaking as he started to speak up.
“You won’t be alone with this. You have your family at your side, your friends and you have me at your side. No way that I’d leave you alone in this situation… or our child.”
Azula’s breaths were labored. She didn’t dare to turn around. She could fell Sokka rubbing her shoulders but here eyes were fixed on the blue ones of the reflection inside the mirror.
“How did you…?”
Sokka dared to move closer to Azula and the Princess couldn’t suppress a shiver.
“It has been you, who showed me some secret passages. Zuko has opened the door for me. He’s on his way back outside to wait in front of the main door by now.”
The warrior was about to pull Azula closer but she gently pushed his hands away.
“I called it a mistake. It has ruined our friendship since everything changed with that night. I have pushed you away after that. I cannot expect…”
Azula got cut off by Sokka who pulled her close to him to place a kiss on her hair. She could see tears floating his eyes.
“You didn’t get it Azula. Guess why I was waiting in your room today. Of course everything changed but this night hasn’t ruined anything for me. As I woke up the morning after I felt happy. More happy then I’ve ever felt in my life. I wasn’t able to grab it this morning but the past weeks have shown me that I don’t want to miss such mornings anymore. I came back to see if you’re sharing this feeling because if you do, then I want to try to find out where this road will lead us Azula. Because I’ve realized that I… I… love… you.”
Azula’s heart skipped a beat. Finally she dared to turn around slowly and her breath hitched as her golden eyes met the blue ones of Sokka.
“But… I mean… This isn’t… What… But what if this wouldn’t work out? I cannot demand you to stay just because…”
Her voice was choked by new tears but Sokka wiped them away with a warm smile. His eyes were radiating confidence and strength.
“I will always be there for you Azula. For you and for the child we’re expecting. We’re close friends for so long by now. We have seen us both at our best and our worst and none of this has managed to scare the other away. I trust you Azula. I have faith in you. In your strength and good heart and in your smart mind. I’m fallen for you a while ago I think. So I don’t see a reason why…”
Sokka got cut off by Azula slamming her lips against his. She could fell him tightening his protective grip around her instantly as he instantly returned the kiss. She could feel his heartbeat in his chest as she pressed herself to him as close as possible. She was weeping out her relief and Sokka did the same while he kept kissing her face over and over again. He scooped her into his lap while placing his hand carefully on her belly. Both finally stopped kissing and he nestled his head against hers while watching his hand carefully rubbing over her belly.
“You’ll be an awesome mom, Azula.”
He seemed to notice the dark cloud of doubts rushing over her face since he instantly tried to kiss them away while cradling her closer to him.
“I’m sure, Azula. You already care so much about the child.”
Azula huffed a bit.
“So my pathetic and dumb reaction at the training has been the hint you needed. A great mother I am already. Failing to protect my unborn baby by messing up an easy and proper defense.”
Sokka chuckled and the warmth of his laughter and caring hold elicited a shy smile from Azula.
“This is all new to us. We’ll learn to handle this. You’ll learn to handle this. I have no doubts.”
Azula faced Sokka’s blue eyes and gave him another long kiss after a moment. She made herself comfortable in his lap while the man stated to massage her scalp carefully. Exhaustion finally took over and Azula didn’t care that she started to drift away into sleep more and more with every passing second within the caring hold of Sokka. She faintly noticed the warm smile on his lips while he picked her up carefully to carry the Princess towards her bed.
“…you’ll stay…?”
She felt her body being placed under the sheets and the slight dip of her bed as the man took place beside her to resume massaging her scalp with little circles of his thumb.
“I’ll stay. I promise.”
Azula snuggled herself close to Sokka. The idea of becoming a mother was still frightening but now she was sure that she could handle this change. They could handle this change.