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Nanami can see almost every color. In fact, he can see every single color in every single shade that his human eye can perceive except one. He can’t see the color of his soulmate’s eyes.
For the first two decades of his life he had hoped he would meet his mysterious soulmate, see their colorless eyes, they would touch and suddenly he would know what this color is. That never happened. Unfortunately, in all that time he had never met anyone whose eye color he couldn’t see.
Nanami evaluated his order from the small bakery he visited every Friday afternoon. Nanami clicked his tongue and cursed in his mind. They had definitely included a pickle in his order. Why they wrapped a quarter of a whole pickle next to a perfectly good sandwich never failed to bewilder him.
That was normal. They always did it no matter how many Fridays he had ordered specifically asking for no pickles. He didn’t enjoy wasting food but he certainly never ate that.
Nanami wasn’t sure how to describe the color since he could not see it. Other’s had described it for him, those who could see it. He had been given many adjectives that never seemed quite right. Some simply called the color blue or light blue but that wasn’t right. Nanami had seen people with blue eyes; light and dark.
Some said it was like the color of the sky or water but again Nanami knew the color of the sky and he had seen the ocean shift from grey to blue and back to grey so that didn’t help much either.
He swiped his membership card at the front desk and the young woman welcomed him back. The same as every other Friday afternoon. The smell of saltwater and dampness filled his nose as he stepped into the first open room.
Nanami had given up his active search for his soulmate. He could live without that color but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still curious. Over the last few years, he had resigned himself to a more passive search.
If he grazed hands with his soulmate, whoever they were, on the bus or at work or even just passing on the street and they never spoke or properly met, that was ok with Nanami. He just needed to know what that mysterious color was.
It was the color of shallow water in the sunlight. It was the color of sea glass and aquamarine gemstones. It was the shade of a blue diamond he had seen in a museum as a child and it was the color of the dawn on a summer morning.
It wasn’t blue. He knew that. He just needed to know. The easiest way to find his missing color when he looked through the vibrant world was here.
He hadn’t been able to see the color of aquariums all his life.
Maybe Nanami shouldn’t complain. Sure, such a rare color did make it hard to find his soulmate but it was nothing compared to the millions of people whose soulmates had different variations of brown. His own soulmate was missing that color from their view of the world.
The majority of the world had brown eyes. Nanami had looked up the percentage once but couldn’t remember the exact number as he made his way through the maze of fish tanks and exhibits in the aquarium. He came every Friday but still liked to watch the jellyfish float happily in their large cylinder tank.
Nanami had brown eyes. That meant his soulmate couldn’t see that color in the world. This thought never failed to make Nanami frown. There was so much brown in the world, not just eyes. How many people with colorless eyes did his soulmate touch and reach out for that weren’t him? How many times did they pull away disappointed when their world was still not in full color?
Nanami leaned down to say hello to his favorite small tank of hermit crabs. They maneuvered easily over the coral and rocks of their tank. They crawled through the empty grey color that surrounded them. Nanami wished he could see in full color.
It was incredibly unsatisfying, to not be able to see just this one pigment out of thousands. It was worse because Nanami was sure it was the most beautiful color of all. It had to be. Why else would people buy stones that capture it? Why else would they watch ocean creatures swim through it for hours?
Nanami walked down a corridor to his favorite spot to eat his sandwich, minus the pickle.
He hadn’t gotten a fish tank for his own home. He didn’t want to keep the unseen color close. It was frustrating enough not knowing. He could only make himself face the disappointment once a week if he could help it.
Nanami entered the long hallway tank. The water, held back by only an archway of glass, domed over the walkway so that the tank surrounded him on all sides. There were even glass panels in sections along the floor so that it looked like the fish were swimming under his feet.
Nanami sat down on the last open bench that was positioned on one side of the walkway. This happened to be his favorite bench because it was right in the middle. On less crowded days this part of the aquarium made him feel like he was entirely encased in his mystery color.
He slipped two fingers under his tie and tugged on the material until it gave way and loosened from his neck. Nanami shoved it into his pocket as he looked up to watch a school of bright fish pass over his head.
Everything was in such vivid colors. The oranges and yellows of the fish, the silver shimmer of the silver hoard of herring. The coral and seaweed came in so many colors and the starfish that clung to them were just as bright.
Everything here was so bright and beautiful but the water was not. It was a dull, neutral grey that didn’t seem to match the fish at all. They swam through the empty space as if it did not exist at all.
Every Friday afternoon Nanami came to this same spot in the aquarium and watched a living world of color swim through empty, dull waters. He would eat his sandwich and imagine what it would look like in that evasive shade.
Nanami was starting on the second half of his sandwich when a young boy sat next to Nanami on his bench. He was no older than five by Nanami’s estimation. He used both his arms to push himself onto the bench and rolled on his hip to sit up properly.
“Hello,” he said in a soft, young voice. His expression was much too serious for his dark hair that spiked in all directions.
“Good afternoon,” Nanami replied after swallowing a bite of his sandwich. “Are you alone?”
“I’m not supposed to answer stranger’s questions.”
Nanami looked around the hallway to see if any of the adults around looked distressed or were watching them. Nanami found nothing.
“Then your parents must be nearby,” Nanami ventured. He needed to know if he had to find one of the aquarium’s staff or the boy’s caretakers.
“My dad is with my sister. She really likes rays,” the boy pointed to a young father lifting a small girl so she could touch the glass of the ceiling where a manta ray was passing over them. The man’s back was to him but Nanami couldn’t help noticing his bright white hair and tall stature. It was easy to notice in such a confined space. “Her name is Tsumiki. What’s your name?”
“Nanami.”
“I’m Megumi. I don’t like walking around so much. I wanted to sit and watch.”
Nanami hummed in agreement. Megumi was a very serious little boy but like all little boys, he spoke honestly and directly. “What are you eating?”
“My lunch.”
Megumi looked down into Nanami’s lap at the open sandwich wrapper and the pickle that sat untouched. He tapped his fingers lightly on the edge of the bench.
“Can I please have that?” Megumi pointed at the pickle.
“Strangers can’t ask you questions but they can give you food?” Nanami asked with a small smile. Megumi blushed at his own naive hypocrisy. He glanced over at his dad who was now squatting low and staring into one of the floor panels with Tsumiki.
Nanami couldn’t see his face but he could tell he was a younger man, he was close enough to hear their conversation but he hadn’t stopped or interrupted Nanami and Megumi.
“It could be a secret?” Megumi looked up at him with dark eyes and long lashes. Nanami had never seen eyes that color but he could tell they were blue.
Nanami wrapped the end of the pickle quarter in a spare napkin and handed it to Megumi as he said, “You shouldn’t take food from strangers.”
“I know, but you are good. I really like pickles.”
They left it at that and Megumi quickly and quietly crunched his small pickle slice. Nanami should have asked the dad’s permission but he wasn’t going to eat it and it was a secret. When Megumi was finished he rumpled up his napkin and handed it to Nanami. Nanami didn’t know what else to do but accept it. “Thank you,” Megumi said quietly.
“Oi, Megumi,” a voice called out from nearby. Nanami had been more focused on the boy than his dad who was now right next to Nanami and reaching out for the boy. A large pair of hands with long fingers snaked under the boy’s arms and lifted. Megumi lifted his arms to wrap around the man’s neck. “Sorry if he was annoying you.”
“Not at all-” Nanami started but he felt like he couldn’t breathe when the man’s forearm grazed Nanami’s shoulder.
The hallway erupted with light. No, it wasn’t actually any brighter but it was different. Nanami blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t just pretending like a million times before.
He could see it. Nanami could see the color of the water in the tanks. The bright aqua color swirled in streams of white and blue that he had never seen. It mixed with all the colors of the flora and fauna into a mosaic.
Nanami stood on slightly shaky knees. The trash from his sandwich lightly fell to the floor, completely forgotten. He stared into the water that surrounded him with his mouth open.
It was beautiful. It wasn’t at all how others had described it to him. There was nothing he could compare it to. This was someone’s eye color. Someone carried this hue and swirls of blue everywhere they went.
Not just someone. Nanami’s soulmate. That man.
Nanami looked to the side. The man had Megumi balanced in one arm and the young girl's hand in his other. Nanami couldn’t just let him walk away. He thought he’d be ok with just knowing the color. He wasn’t.
He had to see it in the man’s eyes.
Nanami shuffled through the small crowd in the hallway. He blindly moved around strangers and children. He could only keep his head up, vision trained on the man’s white hair. Some people cursed at him or glared but he didn’t bother to take it in.
Finally, there was a break in the crowd toward the end of the hallway of color and Nanami took a few fast paces forward. Megumi whispered something in the man’s ear and pointed at Nanami over his shoulder.
The man turned around just as Nanami arrived in front of him. Nanami’s brain was blank. His eyes were that same indescribably color. They glowed and caught the light so the shifting blues made it looked like his irises were made of living water.
“Um, hi?” the man furrowed his brows as he looked at Nanami’s mesmerized face.
Nanami licked over his lip and swallowed the spit in his mouth.
“Your eyes, they, your eyes are the same color as the water,” Nanami said stupidly.
The man looked to the side at the wall of fish then back to Nanami. “Ok?”
“What do my eyes look like to you?” Nanami took another step forward and Megumi made an odd face.
“Your eyes are brown, Nanami-san,” Megumi observed.
The man froze.
“Holy shit,” the man cursed and set down Megumi onto his own feet. Gojo was staring at Nanami’s face now. At his eyes. Without looking away he reached into his pocket. He held the object in his fist and sucked in a deep breath.
He readjusted the item in his palm then pinched it between his finger and thumb and held it up to Nanami’s face.
It was a brown lollipop. A chocolate tootsie pop in a brown plastic wrapper.
“Are we…”
“Soulmates. I think we are soulmates,” the man finished.
“I’m Nanami Kento.”
“Nanami, huh? You sure came out of nowhere.”
That wasn’t true. Nanami had been here every Friday waiting for him. He had been waiting a very long time to see that color and all the life and intelligence behind it.
“Gojo Satoru and these are my kids. This is Tsumiki and judging by that pickle you already know Megumi,” Gojo said with a sly smile and a wink.
Nanami could already tell, surrounded by the stunning color of his soulmate's eyes, that the wait was worth it.