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Bokuto went through phases of hyperfixations. One month it was sea creatures, the next it was crystals. One time he even watched every documentary he could find on time travel (that was a strange month for everyone with Bokuto using so many scientific terms correctly).
And of course Akaashi, a simple innocent bystander, got roped into learning about anything Bokuto learned about. Guilty by association… learning by association?
One month he was fixated on auras.
That particular month held a rare occurrence for Akaashi… he found himself genuinely intrigued by this topic. Why? He’s not really too sure himself. But he intently listened and really absorbed all of the colors and their apparent meanings (“Yes Bokuto-san, I am listening.” “Yes Bokuto-san, I read the articles you sent me.”)
((He would never admit it, but he may have done a very very small amount of research on his own time as well))
“Akaaaashi, look at this! Red is passion, desire, strength. Hmmm, I wonder who that one would fit... OH! Then there’s orange, which is creativity-”
And for some reason, what Bokuto said next really stuck with him.
“Blue is sensitive , empathetic , and intuitive ! Wow, Akaaashi, that sounds like you!” Bokuto said, during their water break at practice. Their teammates around them nodding along and mumbling their agreement.
Akaashi couldn’t have disagreed more.
He was not the sensitive , empathetic , and intuitive person he appeared to Bokuto and others.
Akaashi is the color blue.
But he isn’t sensitive to the emotions of those around him. He is constantly anxious from worrying if someone’s change of emotions was due to what he said or did.
Was the person upset with him?
Was something bad going to happen?
Would everyone hate him?
He is empathetic , he is exhausted from feeling for those around him. He couldn’t bounce back from a mood change like most others could.
A friend is sad? He is sad because he’s not sure how to fix it or how to change the mood.
His mom is worried? His worries last long after hers (even if he’s not sure why he’s still worrying…)
2 people near him fighting? He’s drained from all that angry energy expended (this happens even if its 2 strangers, but its worse if he knows one or both persons).
He isn’t intuitive, he is always looked to as a leader.. When really he is lost .
He’s not made to be a big star for others to follow.
How can he lead others when he can’t even guide himself?
Akaashi is the color blue.
Blue is a soft color.
Sometimes he feels as if he’s a shell of a person. Hollow, slowly filling up with all his worries and stress.
But-
What happens when he’s all filled up? When his blue has transformed itself? No longer a soft color, but instead the dark blue-black of the deep sea.
He’s diving deeper and deeper down the ocean.
Shadows creeping closer and closer,
closing in,
pressure,
weight,
heaviness.
His anxieties, his exhaustion, this lost feeling he has… how can he find something when he doesn’t know what’s lost to begin with?
Osamu is the color green.
The color green is patience, nurturing, and dedication.
Since their recently rekindled friendship, Osamu has shown him nothing but patience .
Osamu was no longer a stranger to Akaashi, nor to his moods. The longer they know each other the more comfortable Akaashi gets in his skin. Unfortunately, that means the less he shields how his moods show.
Up to this point Osamu knew that usually he needed simply an ear to listen to his day, or a surprise filling in his onigiri to pull his mood up a little.
Unfortunately, this particular day was at the end of a very long, troublesome week.
Lack of sleep, looming deadlines, and working extra hard trying to get Udai to finish his overdue pages. His temper was much shorter than usual and everyone around him knew to steer clear.
So when Akaashi slipped into Onigiri Miya for a quick meal, Osamu looking at him and saying “Wow ‘Kashi, burnin’ yer candle from both ends huh?” something in him snapped.
If he had looked up to meet his eyes he would have seen the soft concern Osamu was showing, but instead, Akaashi’s skin prickled and he assumed it was meant as a bash to his work ethic. “Well unfortunately I have to hope others do their job in order to do my own, Miya-san. If you’ll excuse me, I need to leave now.” And with that, left his uneaten food to go straight home.
Of course he knew this was rude the moment he left the shop, but he was too embarrassed to go back in.
He would just apologize after the weekend, next time he stops in.
What he wasn’t expecting was for a delivery person to show up during his lunch hour on Monday, with half a dozen Onigiri and a handwritten note:
I hope yer coworkers pick up the slack so you can have a better week. Feel free to bribe them with these if ya need to.
-Osamu
A slight warmth comes across his cheeks as he looks on the back of the note to see a phone number.
When he calls the number that night after work, an apology on the tip of his tongue, all he can do is laugh when the first thing Osamu asks him is “are we still a grumpy pants, or did ya get some rest yet?”
He realizes it’s the first time he’s laughed all week.
He also realizes that he just may, in fact, have a crush.
Osamu is the color green.
He is nurturing . Akaashi had himself a boyfriend.
Sure, he's had relationships in the past. But nothing like this.
When Akaashi notices just how much Osamu is taking care of him, he immediately wants to put a stop to it. He’s an adult, he can take care of himself.
Osamu loves to cook, of course he does. He turned his favorite thing to do into a very successful business. But every weekend they spend together it seems like he does nothing but cook. Cooking for Akaashi, feeding him.
He’s puzzled over this. “Don’t you want to take a break from it, aren't you tired after having to do it so much every day?”
“Well, this is different.” he answers, coming up to wrap his arms loosely around his waist and leaning their foreheads together. “I like making sure you get a good, hot meal in ya, sweetheart. I know what you eat during the week. Just let me do this for ya.”
That soon became a phrase that instantly brought Akaashi walls down.
On his bad days when he doesn’t want to see Osamu (or more like he doesn’t want Osamu to see him), he texts him that he’s not feeling well and that he have him come over. He can’t let Osamu see that he has let dishes pile up, left water cups around half empty, tossed dirty clothes to be left all across his bedroom floor.
When Osamu ignores what he has said to use his extra key to get in, he doesn’t speak a word of judgement. Doesn't even show it on his face (by now he knew when his boyfriend was feeling ill versus when he wasn’t feeling well. He knew what he’d be walking in to). He simply begins to clean the dishes, collect water cups, pick up all the clothes, sort and toss clothes in the washer.
Later, they shower together and Osamu is holding him to his chest. He grabs the shampoo and while gently massaging it into Akaashi’s tangled locks, he’ll whisper “please don’t hide from me, darling. Just let me do this for ya.”
Perhaps, this is what love really is?
Osamu is the color green.
He is dedication.
They’ve been living together for nearly a year when a huge fight happens. Why? Neither can remember how it started, but it ends in them screaming at one another from across the living room, using words in ways they knew would cut deep. Knowing one another gave them this advantage.
Finally, Osamu stomps off to grabs his coat and keys, and Akaashi hears the slam of the front door shut behind him.
Akaashi closes his eyes and feels the silence close in on him... he slowly drops to sit on the floor beneath him. He leans his heads back and does something he doesn’t remember doing for a very long time now: he cries.
He cries for the hurtful words he threw at Osamu, and cries for his own hurt feelings.
He cries when he realizes how much he misses him when he’s been gone not even 10 minutes.
He cries and cries. For himself, for who he was, what he is. He cries for nothing and everything.
After what feels like hours he turns his head to see moonlight peeking through their living rooms curtains.
He hears the door open but doesn’t turn his head.
He hears a coat being hung up, shoes toed off, and soft steps approaching.
He sees the shadow of him standing next to him, then feels the warmth of a body sitting next to his, and finally turns his head to meet those eyes.
His eyes are puffy, red-rimmed from crying. Akaashi is sure his looking the same. He can’t but think he still looks unbearably handsome like this.
Osamu’s hand comes up to cup his cheek, wiping off any tears that lingered.
“I’m sorry, darling.” he whispers softly.
Akaashi smiles.
“I’m sorry, too.”
“I got something for you while I was out… I know it might seem silly, but I walked past a little stand with these and it kind of just called out to me, I guess?” he says in a hushed tone still, as he rubs the back of his neck, an embarrassed blush spreading across his cheeks.
He leans down and pulls out of his pocket… 2 bracelets ?
They are beautifully made, woven together with a brown and a greenish leather material.
“I see… and what about these bracelets called out to you?”
“Well, the color is so different and I instantly thought of you? The color caught my eye and really pulled me in, and that’s how I feel every time I’m around you, no matter how long its been.”
Akaashi looks at him and felt his face soften. He leans forward and connects their lips in a soft, tender kiss.
He pulls back and simply holds out his left wrist to him.
Osamu’s eyes widen a little before he breaks out in a huge grin.
As he’s slipping in on Akaashi's wrist he excitedly explains, “the person at the stand had to correct me when I called it turquoise. She said it’s actually cyan, and it’s the perfect blend of blue and green.”
Akaashi quietly lets that fact sink in as he ties the matching bracelet on to Osamu’s wrist.
Akaashi is the color blue.
Osamu is the color green.
Cyan is the perfect combination of the colors blue and green.
And that night, with his head on Osamu’s chest listening to his heartbeat, he recalls something he read about the color cyan in his internet search earlier.
“ You feel calm when everything is in its place.”
As Osamu’s arms unconsciously tighten around him in his sleep, Akaashi can’t help but agree.
Everything is in its place.