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At first, your silence surprised him.
Perhaps you have gotten into some kind of peculiar stupor after hearing such harsh words from your colleague or maybe you were simply having a bad day—one of those where every confrontation would simply be too exhausting to bear. Kaeya had no doubts that you were working hard in the headquarters, having so much to do and remember on your mind surely must have affected your mood. Still, it left him curious about your reaction, listening from afar as one of the knights insulted you and all you did was to turn on the heel and walk away, no words spoken.
Could it be that he got too used to his own wit that he subconsciously expected everyone else to act in a similar manner? Or was he hoping to see more of a reaction from you, a little comeback or at least a disgusted expression and yet, there was none. Surely it must have been a rough day for you, otherwise you would not show him this talkative, smart side of yours, the one he was much more familiar with.
So much unlike this one.
Soon enough, Kaeya found himself irritated by this memory, which for an unknown reason kept repeating in his head over and over again. It was the first thing he thought about in the morning while washing his hair or taking off the loose strands of fur which fell off his coat during the last encounter with hilichurls. It occupied his mind when he was dealing with paperwork, observing ordinary folks, eating lunch, wiping the blood off his sword, ordering dandelion wine in the tavern and even—or especially—when your name was mentioned among people.
As if you did not occupy most of his thoughts already, now it seemed as if he suddenly became caring.
When it happened for the second time, it was but an insignificant comment you received about your appearance, a small biting remark made not to permanently hurt your feelings but harmful enough for you to remember it. Kaeya, who happened to overheard the situation again (being in the right place at the right time seemed to be some kind of hidden talent of his, after all) immediately turned his head in your direction, anticipating your reaction.
It was all different now, the civilian in front of you being a complete stranger and so, Kaeya almost hoped for you to say something, to even act against the courteous rules of the Knights and throw another insult back—anything but passive behaviour. He frowned when you simply closed your mouth shut and walked away, already hurrying to complete your duties. His gaze followed you until you disappeared on the stone stairs and the echo of your steps blended into the sounds of crowded square.
Suddenly, it was as if nothing ever happened and yet, he could not get rid of the brooding thoughts haunting his mind. Apparently, it was not a bad day he witnessed before but your way of handling difficult situations and somehow, he did not appreciate it in the slightest.
***
“Mind if I join you?”
Looking up from the candle flame you were staring at for what seemed like an hour, your gaze landed upon Kaeya’s silhouette, the nonchalant tilt of the head and a playful smile on his lips. Not faced with your immediate decline, he pulled a chair and took a seat, resting his elbow on the table and discreetly noticing that the glass of your favourite drink was now almost empty.
“I see I don’t have a lot to say in that matter,” you stated but eventually lightened up, honestly glad to see him.
“I haven’t seen you around a lot lately.” Looking over the shoulder he gestured to the bartender to serve him a bottle of wine and a second of whatever you ordered before. Being a well-known client surely had its advantages for it did not last longer than few seconds and his attention was drawn completely to you once again. “I just hope you’re not overworking yourself, it would be a shame if we had to reschedule our evening walk, wouldn’t it?”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” you assured. “I’ve been busy, indeed, but I know what I’m doing and I’m aware of my limits.”
“I never doubted it.”
“Besides, Lisa asked me to lend her some of my intuition to help her in the library. Seems like someone torn off few pages from the book again and now she’s desperate to find the criminal.”
“Off with their head!”
“If she only could…”
Kaeya excused you for a moment and came back with wine and another beverage for you. Before you managed to thank him, he silenced you with a simple raise of his hand.
“That’s on me,” he promised chivalrously. “Looking for a piece of paper surely must be more exhausting than I’d ever want to know.”
Still, you noticed how he brought a second glass for you, too, just in case you wanted to join him—and in no time you did.
As the time passed, the Angel’s Share grew more and more crowded, welcoming the evening clients and their loud chats, obnoxious jokes and roaring laughter. The air was filled with the smell of melting wax, mulled wine, wood burning in the fireplace and the sounds of music played in the distance. During this whole time Kaeya was sitting next to you, his back turned to the rest of the room as if he was shielding you from any unpleasant sights which could happen in that late hour. It was much safer and comfortable with him, the mere awareness of his status being enough of a reason to prevent anyone from bothering you. As the cheerful singing continued, you finally found the time to talk about subjects not related to the work and it was a true delight to observe as Kaeya’s eye sparkled with excitement when you mentioned a bunch of peculiar stone sculptures on your way to Liyue last week.
“Their tongues were out.” You gestured, trying to show the size of a single statue with your hands. “At first I thought it’s just some odd form of art but once I looked from the certain angle, it turned out they’re showing north. Naturally, I followed it and that’s how I met this old man selling a bunch of stolen goods. Maybe looking into those sculptures would help to find more of them, you know.” You took another sip of your beverage. “It could be their secret sign or something of this sort.”
“You might be right.” He nodded, a blissful smile on his slightly drunken face. “Besides, I see you were having a lot of fun during this trip, no?”
“I did,” you agreed. “I’ve never had an opportunity to go through this part of the mountains and I can assure you the views were breath-taking.”
“As long as you stayed there, that is.”
“Well—“ You turned the gaze toward your glass to avoid eye contact. “Anyways, I wish we could go there together one day. I’m sure you’d like it, especially since I’ve heard they sell some kind of delicious wine nearby.”
“Is that so? Did you try it already?”
“Without you? I could never!” You gasped, placing a hand upon your chest. “But now you put it that way, it sounds tempting, indeed…”
“Is that how you thank me for the free drink?” He gave you the most pitiful look.
“It was your idea to buy it so you can’t expect anything in return now.”
“How rude!” Kaeya pouted but managed to keep this composure only for a while before giggling and saying: “I missed talking to you.”
Another sweet word, one of the countless he seemed to always had prepared in mind just in case he needed to charm somebody and bend them to his will. Even though it was pleasant to hear, you were never sure whether he was joking or being honest and the uncertainty left the bitter taste on your tongue after you finished the last sip of your beverage.
“I should head back home.” Was your reply.
“Already?”
“Yes, I promised Lisa to be in the library early in the morning.”
“What a shame…” Kaeya sighed while playing with the glass and not breaking the eye contact with you. “Just when I was about to ask you for a date.”
You stared at him dumbfounded, not sure if you heard him right through all the sounds around you but there was something unmistakeable about his alluring gaze. He was patiently waiting for your answer, the usual, amused smirk revealing that he was not expecting to be turned down.
However, the chaos of thoughts which blew in your mind immediately after hearing his words did not left you speechless.
“Well then?” You swallowed. “What are you waiting for?”
“For the right moment.”
“Was it fitting for you now?”
“No, not in the slightest. It’s not as easy when you’re acting all mysterious.”
“Mysterious?” You frowned, puzzled. “I’m not trying to be mysterious.”
Kaeya chuckled and took another gulp of his wine—the pause in your conversation causing you to almost lose your composure. The prolonging anticipation was being harder to bear with every passing second, until he finally broke the silence between you.
“Of course you’re not. Just like you’re not trying to hide your sweet, little romance from everyone.”
“My what?”
That certainly was unexpected. Not only you were currently not in any relationship but also never thought about hiding it from the other knights. Was it possible that someone was spreading unflattering rumours about you?
A wave of anxiety made you feel uneasy. Suddenly you became very aware of how Kaeya was your superior and the fact that whatever he heard could influence both his opinion on you and your career.
“Your relationship,” he explained patiently, a gleeful spark shining in his eye. “You see, when a man and woman love each other…”
“I know what does that mean,” you interrupted quickly. “I just don’t understand where did this idea come from, I’m not dating anyone.”
“Oh? I’m sorry, I should probably be more compassionate but I can’t help spotting an opportunity here.”
“Where did you get that information from?” you insisted, stubborn to not react to the subtexts.
“I’m not sure,” Kaeya lied, carefully observing your expressions. “It could be Bruce or Otto, or maybe Guy.”
He clearly noticed the way your jaw clenched when he spoke the last name—the name of the knight you found yourself being insulted by few weeks ago.
“What’s the matter?” he continued. “You seem concerned. Don’t worry, people will quickly forget about it and find a new subject to gossip about.”
“I’m not worried about it,” you answered, now irritated by the news you have just learned.
“Then what is it?”
“I’m not sure if talking about my colleagues to the Captain is the wisest idea.”
“What about to a friend?” He winked (or blinked, it was hard to tell) and poured you some wine.
“Getting me drunk will take you nowhere,” you pointed out but accepted the glass.
“It’s still worth a try, isn’t it? Has someone been bothering you?”
“It was just a little misunderstanding, nothing serious.”
“With whom?”
“With Guy.”
There it was. As much as Kaeya did not enjoy manipulating your emotions, a small lie surely would do no harm. Soon you would find out that the rumour about your supposed partner was, indeed, gone—while the truth was, it never existed. It was all for the greater good, after all.
“You know,” he started, hoping to encourage you more, “jokes aside but talking to your superior is actually quite a wise decision if you’re facing some issues in the group. Was he bothering you? Blackmailing?”
Was that the reason why you did not stand for yourself when he offended you so blatantly?
“No, nothing of that sort,” you explained. “We just don’t get along, that’s all, but I didn’t think he would do something like that… Gossips about romance could ruin my good name, make me seem unreliable or untrustworthy and it’s certainly not an adequate revenge to having some different opinions.”
“If I may offer an advice…” He leaned to you slightly. “I’d recommend you to stand up to him.”
Your eyes narrowed.
“Are you saying it as a Captain or Kaeya?”
“Both. You should defend yourself whether it’s another knight or an enemy.”
“Surprisingly, it’s much easier on the battlefield…” you finally admitted and looked around the tavern to avoid eye contact.
In a meantime, Kaeya was torn between the delightful satisfaction of getting all the informations he wanted from you without you even noticing and genuinely worrying about your attitude. The other side of yours, less fierce and brave was not something he witnessed everyday but it was still the part of you and so, he was willing to protect it equally. Watching you getting insulted was certainly no fun and seeing as you simply allowed it to happen was actually concerning. What if it was someone else, not bound by the Knight’s duties and rules?
You licked your lips before speaking again.
“What should I do then?”
“If he confronts you and says something unpleasant tell him to swallow those words before you’ll make him swallow his own teeth.”
“That’s a bit cruel, don’t you think…?”
“But useful, nevertheless!”
“You’re aware I’m not as clever with words as you. I don’t know if I could do that.”
“What makes you think so?”
“It’s hard to explain,” you sighed. “Whenever I encounter a situation like this my brain seems to pause and I simply can’t muster a proper sentence. It’s always few hours later when I think about it and come with all the great comebacks but during—never. It’s… embarrassing.”
Kaeya’s nonchalant expression was gone once he realized that in this moment you have truly opened your heart to him. You were holding it in your palms right in front of him, hoping that he won’t grab and crush it. The feeling was both empowering and humbling.
“Is that why you avoid conflicts here among people?” he asked. “Because you feel helpless against them?”
“If you want to put it that way…”
“I’m just surprised. I’ve seen you in a battle and you’re one of the most courageous people; you’re strong and durable, you’re skilled with your weapon and yet, when it comes to someone saying something bad about you, you’re getting defenceless. It’s uncommon to say the least.”
“I’m not good with words, Kaeya,” you repeated resigned.
“Nonsense, all you need is practice. And good news are that, you can have the best teacher possible.”
“Really? I’m not sure if Diluc will have enough free time for that.”
He tut-tutted.
“For the sake of your training I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”
You giggled at his gloomy face, realizing that good mood was slowly coming back to you. Perhaps the conversation was not the most pleasant one but eventually you started to feel relieved, as if some great weight was taken off your heart.
***
The third time it happened, Kaeya decided not to patiently watch the whole encounter. He did not expect you to grow all confident overnight and he understood the necessity of pushing past your limits to grant better effects but still, seeing you speechless once again was too much for him. Your confidence was one thing and the rude behaviour of people he could easily put into place was a completely different story.
That is why, when another remark has been addressed to you, Kaeya slowly approached you and the Springvale citizen who has been lashing out on you and cursing the Knights for destroying half of his radish field while fighting the slimes. Unfortunately, you were the first one his eyes landed upon and so, you became his victim even though you did not participate in the latest commission. Standing still, you listened to the unforgiving monologue as you were desperately trying to think of something, anything to say to stop him from throwing words at you. The memory of the conversation you had at Angel’s Share was not helpful in the slightest, since now you felt the pressure to actually do something instead of escaping but the more you thought about it, the more stressed out you got.
That is when you heard the footsteps on the marble floor and peeked over the shoulder to spot Kaeya. Even if he was concerned about the situation, there was not a single sign on his face which would reveal such emotion.
“Excuse me,” he greeted politely as he approached you. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Mister Kaeya!” The man seemed to be positively relieved to see him—finally someone competent to deal with his issue. “Thankfully you’re there. I was just trying to explain to this lady that protecting the villagers includes taking care of their belongings no less than—“
“Quite a way of explaining you have, sir!” he chuckled and although one could consider it as a friendly gesture, you clearly sensed the cool undertone in his aura. “It looked more like reprimanding my apprentice.”
Apprentice?
“Apprentice?” The man seemed no less confused than you.
“Indeed. You see, since she’s currently my protégé it’s only fair to say that I’m personally responsible for every mistake she made. I’ll deal with the rest later; there’s no need to concern citizens about our teaching methods, after all, no? Why don’t you address your complaints right to me then?”
The man only cleared his throat as it was clear that he had no intention to scold the Cavalry Captain in the same way he shouted at you. Kaeya’s words managed to successfully calm him and his temper at the same time and even though the issue seemed to be partially solved, you still could not stop your hands from shaking uncontrollably.
“Well,” you sighed when the man finally left after not as long and definitely not as aggressive exchange of words with Kaeya, “now it was a complete fiasco.”
He had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from saying something which would upset you more. As much as he adored teasing you, seeing your sad, miserable face was not one of his favourites and so, he decided to remain relatively gentle.
“We’ve all been there,” he started. “Practice makes perfect.”
“I don’t even know what should I tell him, he caught me off guard.”
“Hilichurls can’t catch you off guard and one harmless farmer can?”
“It seems so…”
“Huh…” Kaeya stroked his chin lost in thoughts.
Surely you were not a lost case but perhaps you needed a little bit more polishing and stronger motivation. A wicked smirk spread across his lips but before you managed to ask about the possible scheming, he turned on the heel and marched back to the stairs while muttering something about a lot of paperwork waiting for him and leaving you completely dumbfounded in the main hall.
***
It could not be easier.
Arranging the whole situation reminded more of putting the chess pieces onto the board in their rightful places and waiting for them to move in the certain directions—all to his amusement. Kaeya was, after all, a master of that game and once everything was settled, all he had to do was to be patient and observe the outcome.
Angel’s Share was more crowded than usually, the glasses clinking in various toasts after a successfully finished mission in Dadaupa Gorge celebrated by at least twelve Knights. Even the tables on the first floor were mostly occupied but although the atmosphere seemed to be way too chaotic and loud for a single person to relax with a drink, most of the participants were too focused on coming back to Monstadt and sharing the glorious stories of their victories to pay any attention to the other guests of the tavern. That is why both you and Kaeya could eat and drink undisturbed if you only managed to ignore the laughs and sang songs from the level below.
“I dare to say it’s my favourite place,” Kaeya interrupted after swallowing the last bite of mashed potatoes and peeking over the wooden railing of the balcony to look down at the bartender. “There, you can see everything without being in the middle of the action.”
“Very sly,” you admitted. “Is that how you get all the best gossips?”
“Only some of them.” He smiled at you and innocently fluttered eyelashes, apparently more drunk than you suspected.
“I see.” You placed the cutlery on your now empty plate. “That was delicious! What do I owe the pleasure of this dinner?”
“I just wanted a reason to see your pretty face.”
“So you do now…” You chuckled nervously and lowered your gaze until it landed on his hand, the one placed around the glass of wine.
Kaeya’s fingers were long and slender, quite fitting for the way he was dancing with the sword on the battlefield. Covered with the fabric of black gloves, you never caught a glimpse of them bare and wondered whether they were rather cold, as the Cryo Vision bearer was supposed to be or maybe on the contrary—warm and soft like a sunny, summer morning he adored so much. You wondered how would they fit in your palm; would he brush his thumb over your hand or maybe intertwine your fingers? How would it feel to have him brush barely the tip over your open palm while the most delicate, cool energy would be flowing through him, leaving a shiver of winter upon your heated skin?
His lips always seemed to be so soft and gentle it was impossible to imagine them bringing you freezing cold.
You had to blink few times to come back to reality and when you did, Kaeya’s attention was completely turned to the two knights dancing to the Six-Fingered José’s melody. Perhaps he did not notice you staring lost in thoughts—or maybe he did and decided to let you enjoy it without interrupting.
You heard him laugh at something hilarious what happened down there, near the bar, and staring at his profile, the flamboyant fur draped over his arm, the long earring shining shyly in the dim light of the candles, the bright blue eye, long eyelashes, perfectly carved lips and slightly messy hair, you have never wanted to kiss him as badly as in that very moment. Instead, you simply took a sip of your beverage and followed his gaze.
That is when you overheard a conversation shared by the table by the window behind your back.
“… miserable, if you ask me. Keeping the face and good reputation is the most important, how else do you expect people to respect the Knights? Playing around and allowing those kids to rule is like a strike to all the hard work our grandfathers did. Dancing on their graves! This whole institution is going to waste, I think I’m going to quit. Promoting some nameless orphan to the higher rank only blows the coals…”
You gulped and quickly eyed Kaeya who still seemed to be too occupied with the events happening downstairs—and most likely a little bit too drunk, considering the empty bottle by his arm—to notice what the two knights were talking about in the quieter tones. It was already difficult to recognize every word they said but the scraps you got were enough to confirm your beliefs on who was the main topic of the unflattering exchange.
It made your cheeks heat with anger.
“… exactly what I’ve been saying to Gerda. Bastard and drunkard nonetheless. Is that what we’ve become? Bunch of old men under the rules of some reckless younglings? Can’t wrap my head around it…”
“… mention a womanizer. Poor Lucille has been crying her eyes out for the whole night because of him. Shamelessly giving her hopes and playing with her feelings like it was nothing…”
It was getting harder and harder to listen to the awful accusations and soon, all you wanted was for them to stop talking. Your good mood was gone in an instant and replaced with the anxiety and irritation. Naturally, you could understand having different opinions, especially about someone as extravagant as Kaeya but bringing up his past and childhood, wherever did they get the details about it from, was a completely different story.
The audacity to speak in such manner when he was sitting barely few meters from their table was yet another reason for your anger to increase. Even if that was what were they thinking about the Captain, they should at least have the decency to not speak about it in his presence.
“… telling you, bastard’s got no shame whatsoever. Such a pity there’s currently no one eager to take his place…”
“… wonder Ragnvindr had to take him in. If my son was growing up to be like that, I’d disown him as well…”
You almost slammed your cup at the table before abruptly turning around on the chair and looking at the backs of the men who disrespected your friend in such cruel, disgusting manner. Hearing the chair’s legs dragging on the wooden floor, they peeked over the shoulders’ to check what was going on and considering the surprised looks on their faces, they did not expect to see your furious expression directed at them.
“Funny,” you gritted through the teeth, “for someone who knows so little you speak quite a lot. Why don’t you shut the fuck up instead?”
You did not see Kaeya’s pout when he was staring at you now, watching your reaction with the sheer amusement. He could barely contain the wide smile after seeing your outburst and the foul language which rolled over your tongue as if was nothing, an everyday small talk about the weather. Certainly, he was convinced that this kind of situation would bring a reaction from you—he simply did not know it would be of that kind.
Observing from his place and allowing you to do as you pleased, he mentally cursed himself for drinking all the wine before the main act of the spectacle.
“Are you even aware of who are you talking to?” One of the knights furrowed his brows at you, sending few worried glances at Kaeya as if he was wondering whether did he overhear their conversation, too, or if you were going to repeat it to him later.
“A bunch of assholes who like to speak their minds without knowing all the facts, indeed!” you continued, not quite rationally thinking but surely finding a perfect way for the emotions to let go. And somehow, it felt right. “Speaking wrong behind the person’s back, is that what the Knights of Favonius are supposed to be like? No wonder younger people had to take your place if you still didn’t outgrow your playground phase.”
The other man stood up from the table and eyed Kaeya—and after realizing that he had no intention to intervene, he was the one to speak now:
“Watch out for that language, the Acting Grand Master will surely hear about it.”
“I don’t give a fuck.” You stood up as well and your hand hovered over the handle of your weapon. “If that’s what are you supposed to act like, then why don’t we solve it by a gentleman duel and see who is truly worthy of the Knight’s title?”
“Now, now, that’s enough.” Kaeya’s chuckle reached your senses through the thick wall of fury and somehow managed to bring you back to reality.
This and the hand he placed on your shoulder; gentle to not provoke you further but firm enough to make you notice his presence.
“Mister Kaeya,” one of the men started but got interrupted by Captain’s raised hand.
“It’s alright, I’ll handle it from now on. Forgive my friend, she’s rather lightheaded and apparently drank too much.”
“Did I what?”
“Come on, we’re heading out. No need to start riots in the middle of celebrating, no?”
Fresh, night air hit your face when you walked out of the tavern and suddenly you felt the wave of overflowing shame upon yourself. Walking by your side, Kaeya did not seem drunk in the slightest anymore, as if he suddenly sobered because of your challenge or never was like that in the first place. One way or another, you were marching through the silent city drowned in the dark of the night, the chaos of thoughts running through your head and the urge for the ground to swallow you whole stronger than ever.
How could you be so reckless? Allowing the emotions to take over was not something that should ever happen and yet, the memory of vile words spoken about Kaeya was still enough to make your blood boil. The fact that he saw you in such a state only embarrassed you more.
Passing by the fountain you slowed down and decided to peek at him, wondering how did his face look right now. Was he mad at you? Ashamed?
Eventually, it was him who broke the heavy silence between you.
“I must say I’m quite impressed,” he admitted and you blinked few times, not sure if you heard him right. “Except for the part where you wanted to spar with him, it was all going pretty smooth.”
“You’re not angry…?”
“Angry?” His pearly laugh echoed in the narrow street. “Oh, no, how could I ever get angry at my chivalrous knight in the shining armour? For once I felt like a damsel in distress and it was rather amusing.”
You stopped and looked at him, utterly confused. His sly smile revealed that there was much, much more behind the scenes of what has just happened in the tavern and you were not sure if you wanted to learn about the details.
“So you did overhear what were they talking about.” It was more of a statement than a question.
“Actually, no, I didn’t, but I had my suspicions. All I did was to give them a little push to start bragging about their awful job. It’s what they do most of the time.”
You squinted.
“Don’t give me that look, you can’t say it didn’t work out surprisingly well in the end!”
“Kaeya, did you plan this whole situation?”
He placed a hand upon his heart and sighed enamoured.
“How clever you are, sweetheart, I knew you would solve it sooner or later. See, I told you all you needed was some practice and your confidence would bloom in a blink of an eye.”
“Are you—?” You grabbed your head, not sure whether you were more embarrassed, irritated or simply foolish to believe it from the beginning. “I challenged another knight for a duel because he was talking bad stuff about you and you’re telling me it was all a joke?!”
“Not a joke, no. A careful use of the various opportunities. If there’s anything Clayton adores more than complaining about me it must be the ale and giving Anders a free evening today resulted in them meeting up in the tavern. Simple as that!”
“So you did know they were going to talk about you and suspected I’ll intervene? That’s what all this was about?”
“More or less.”
You passed by him and headed home, the mere view of his smug face being enough to upset you once again. As much as you did not appreciate being played like that, you still had to admit that the latest events definitely were something you would never do in any other situation. If it was not for him being insulted so harshly, you would not stand up for him—just like you rarely stood up for yourself.
Was it not what you wanted, after all? Being more assertive and confronting your opponents not only on the battlefield but also in the everyday life?
You heard his footsteps following you and soon, he was by your side once again.
“You’re a very mischievous man, you’re aware of that, aren’t you?” you started slowly, hoping to lighten up.
“And yet, it never fails me.”
You sighed deeply.
“Were you even drunk or just pretending?”
“Take a guess.”
“I guess you’ll have to find yourself a new knight in shining armour if you’ll keep this attitude, sweetheart.”
“Such a brave words to tell your superior!”
“You’ll regret advising me to stand up for myself soon.”
Kaeya looked at you and placed a hand upon your waist to bring you closer to him as you were strolling forward in the same, steady rhythm.
“No, I don’t think I ever will,” he stated with the unusual seriousness in the tone of his voice. “Besides, you still didn’t give me an answer for my date proposition.”