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After the Agni Kai, Azula sees the world through a broken mirror.
There is no passage of time. No recognition that the sun is about to set and the comet has left. Everything is hazy, blending into nothingness behind the blue fire she is roaring at no one.
Azula is trying, she is trying with all her power to cut or crack or melt the chain. She wants to do something, anything than kneeling there;; knowing she lost to Zuko, knowing her father was right about her, failed her father, failed her nation, failed in being a leader, failed herself, failed, failed, failed-
She lost everything to Zuzu of all people. Zuzu, who she hadn’t lost a single hide-and-hunt to. And now, now, now...
A high pitched laughter echoes.
Rushed steps and shouts echo in the empty courtyard, out of sync with her laughs. Azula’s eyes dart from side to side. Zuzu is nowhere to be seen, long disappeared holding onto that snively water tribe peasant just like he used to cower behind mother. There was no satisfaction seeing him limp his way to the palace, Zuzu always had been weak. A weakling who won because he and that peasant ridiculously put each other first like they were in one of mother’s plays.
And she is left there, on her knees , chained to the grids.
(Zuko won because he had someone to pick him up. Because someone loved Zuko more than they feared her.)
Azula shakes her head with a guttural shout.
Shiver runs down her spine, perhaps from the way her wet clothes stick to her skin as a breeze washes over, or whatever that screeching sound was.
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees someone approaching, taking advantage of her guard being down. The treacherous wet hair is covering her vision, sticking to her face like mud. She should have seen its betrayal and cut it for once and for all. It had always foiled her plans.
And now trying to stab her in the back, huh?
She was right all along, they are all trying to take her down, they all will betray her.
Azula takes a sharp turn. She roars, shouts, uses every part of her body to unleash her fury. The comet might be long gone, but the rage in her is not.
Blue flames erupt, and a guard backs away with a yelp. Azula sees the sheer terror in his eyes as the flames die down. Good, good , they should know better, and fear her.
(“I think you are confused.”)
She is not, she is not , she cannot -
Someone is throwing orders, guards or-or physicians are circling her like vultures. Her eyes snap between one after another. There is always something at the corner of her sight, as soon as she looks at it, it is gone. Her eyes are unfocused, seeing shadows trying to close on her, trying to take her down. They are circling all around her, yet no one is daring to approach her.
And no one is picking her up.
(Zuko won because he had someone to pick him up. Because someone loved Zuko more than feared her.)
Azula thrashes forward, unleashing more fire out of her mouth.
She is their Fire Lord, they should be kneeling in front of her, not the other way. Not following Zuzu’s way. She should make them pay for watching her as if she is a laughing stock. But for now, the chains are digging deep on her wrists and arms, keeping her in a firm place.
Agni, she lost to a waterbender during the comet.
Day time, with the comet, to a waterbender.
Her fire becomes ragged, coming in intermittent bursts out of her mouth. Father was burning the Earth Kingdom down to the ground and bringing the ultimate victory as she lost to a waterbender during the comet.
So much for the greatest leader in the Fire Nation history.
Azula breaks out a sob. She didn’t even get to the crown. Though, she did write history losing to a waterbender during Sozin’s Comet: a shame for the Fire Nation. Father is not going to like that. How weak she had been to-
Shame rains down on her. It is… It is pathetic. Zuzu level pathetic.
Her fire slowly dies out. The humiliation burns her inside. Something knots in her stomach, the unrestness she had grows suffocating.
Father is going to kill her. She failed in every way possible in one day. Azula can see his face so clearly, his lips drawn into a tight line of disgust and eyes lit up without the need of fire.
It is easy to see, because it is the same look when Zuko was on his knees, begging to Father. A shame to the Fire Nation.
Her knees start to hurt, as if to remind her that she too is on her knees.
Azula shudders.
She is not Zuko, she is not like Zuko, she is not, she is nothing like-
“Now!” The sharp order echoes, pulling Azula out of her mind for the briefest second. “Put her down, NOW!”
Spirits, the humiliation-
She is their Fire Lord, not a rabid animal.
There is a scream before Azula unleashes all she has. Not aiming at the guards anymore, not aiming anymore, she shoots fire left and right. Fire covers all of her vision, screams echo in her ears. Everywhere is fire, everything is on fire. There is no aim, no will, but pure anger of her humiliation.
Though there is something wrong. She doesn’t know after how many bursts her mind catches up: orange.
Azula stares at the fire. It is… Detached. Surreal. Like having someone else’s face.
For the first time in six years, the fire coming out of her is not pure, special blue; but the ordinary, weak orange.
She is shaking, and it is no longer because of the wet clothes.
She had achieved blue fire. She had set her mind, studied and achieved it. So rare, so special. Pure fire. Her fire. Whatever that thing is, it’s not- cannot be hers, she cannot have fallen that much. She cannot, she cannot-
Her back hits the cold grids.
(She did fall that much.)
Azula writhes, watching as orange flickers still tingle in the air. She is out of breath, her chest hurts. Her wrists hurt, her arms bent back hurt, her knees hurt, everything hurts.
Steps echo on the grids.
Chest racing up and down, her eyes crazily turn to the guards closing on her. In the guards’ eyes, there is fear. They fear her, they fear her, they fear her -
(“All your life you’ve used fear to control people.”)
And yet, she is about to be “put down” like a rabid dog by her subjects.
Azula breaks.
…
She doesn’t feel the needle puncturing her arm.