Work Text:
The two were used to silence, in all its forms.
The kind just after a fight, stiff and stifling and almost worse than the fight itself. The electricity in the air as the two of them would walk on eggshells, in the empty space between the argument and the apology. It was never as long or as often as it had been before, but was still biting and cold with a layer of regret lying somewhere within.
The kind after sex where the air is heavy and warm, weighing on them like a blanket as the two of them lay, content in one another, waiting together until exhaustion took hold. It was a comfortable silence as they lay next to each other, everything they could have said already conveyed.
The kind in the early morning, when the city was just waking up, the barely risen sun painting the sky, the beams coming in through the window making rainbows across their living room. Whenever they managed to drag each other out of bed early enough, they would sit with one another to watch the city that never sleeps finally wake up for the day.
This silence, though, was new. It almost couldn’t be counted as silence because of the steady beeping of the heart monitor, cutting through the quiet of the room. A constant reminder of what was happening and why they were here. There was no forgetting their circumstances.
Whizzer had watched as Marvin walked into the room. He’d already been informed of the new development. The virus spreads. Whizzer wasn’t the only one dying.
Marvin said nothing but Whizzer could tell there were a hundred thoughts running through his head. He’d sat down next to Whizzer’s bed and neither of them had said anything for almost an hour.
“Are you scared?” Whizzer blurted, unable to stand the quiet any longer.
“Nope,” Marvin pushed out a forced laugh. “I’m terrified.”
“We’re gonna be alright, okay?” Whizzer reached out to hold the face of the man beside him. “I mean, we’ll get through it.”
“How can you even say that?” He pulled away from his hands. “Get through what, we’re dying for fucks sake. We can’t go through it it just happens. Any second I’m gonna collapse like you did a few weeks ago and then my life is over. There is no alright here.” His voice broke, dropping to a whisper. “I’m not ready to die yet, Whizzer.”
“Well, you don’t have to be so hopeless about it.” Marvin scoffed, but Whizzer continued. “You’re still here. Right now. And so I am. We’re breathing and we’re talking and we’re alive. Sure we don’t know how long we’ve got left but neither does anyone else. We’ve just- got a closer estimate than most people.”
Marvin smiled weakly at his attempt at a joke and the room when silent once more.
“Marv?” He looked back up at him. “After I’m gone, I need you to not shut down, okay? You can’t stay locked up in your room after this ends, I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life like that. I couldn’t live with you being miserable for your last few months. I need you to live for me, please.”
“You know what?” Marvin stood up and climbed into the bed. “Fuck hospital rules, we both need to cuddle right now. The nurse can pry me out of this bed if they don’t like it.” Whizzer let out a laugh as he wrapped his arms around Marvin.
“Whizzer, I- I love you so much. You know that, right? I just- I need to make sure I made it one hundred percent clear.”
He looked down at him. “Of course I know it, why would you think different?”
“Because I- I would say it all the time. To Trina, and it never- I never meant it. Of course, I love her but not like that and- it was all cheap and there wasn’t anything behind it. And when we were together before, I never even said it all and I acted like I didn’t care and I was just awful to you and I can’t let you go without knowing you knew-” Silent tears were rolling down his face.
Whizzer wiped them away. “Love, we’ve been over this. It’s in the past, ok? Anything that happened the first time is forgiven and you’ve come so far since then. We’ve both grown with each other. Even now we have our bad days but I’m choosing to love you for who you are now. Sure, neither of us have time. But I’ve got you. And that’s really all I need right now.”
“Your English major is showing, Brown.” Marvin was still crying but he laughed in spite of himself. Then his demeanor changed and Whizzer could tell he was being serious. “I promise. I’ll try to live for you.”
Whizzer smiled back at him and pulled him closer.
Once more, the room was engulfed in silence, but now it seemed to blanket rather than smother, the heart rate monitor’s beeping fading to the background as they fell asleep in each other’s arms.