Work Text:
It was around the second day in the shelter that Armin started feeling weird. Right after it happened, Eren had been so mad, he was left hurt and confused. Mikasa looked lost, but her hand never left Eren’s, and her guard around Armin didn’t falter.
Armin sighed. He felt just as bad as his friends, but after the first day, he stopped crying. It was such a hopeless view. Sometimes he would look around the place, and blotches of red adorning the floor would make his skin crawl. His heart would start beating faster, and sometimes his mind wandered too far off.
He shook his head. He would be of no help if he kept having those kinds of thoughts. He turned to his side, where Mikasa and Eren were sleeping. No, I have to help, you can't let them protect you all the time.
There was a groan, and then a sigh. It came from the other side of the place. It was starting to get dark, but he could see two kids, one was a bit taller than the other one. The latter was carrying something- no, someone on his back. The boy shifted a little, trying to find balance while kneeling. He exhaled after moving the person off his back and laying them on the floor. It was a girl. He was able to see the blonde hair sticking out, and she looked small.
The other two kids just looked at each other and then sat down next to the girl. The lanky boy took a blanket from the ones scattered around the floor and used it to cover the girl. Armin sighed. He felt a sort of companionship and sadness from watching other kids here. Were their families dead too?
He fell asleep on his side, watching the back of the two kids, and sweat sticking his hair on his forehead.
Armin woke up first the next day, Eren and Mikasa still dead asleep. It was still early in the morning when he decided to go outside. He didn't really leave, he just stood at the entrance, looking at the rising sun. The wind blew a little stronger than usual, dust particles still floating around, making his nose itchier than usual. He decided to go back inside after recognizing the faint taste of metal whenever he inhaled with his mouth.
He hovered over, sitting next to Eren and Mikasa once he sat down, trying to ignore the tears welling up in his eyes, and his grumbling stomach.
The three of them spoke for a bit, but for a fleeting moment, Armin felt a pair of eyes look his way. Maybe he imagined it because when he turned his face, he just noticed the trio from last night, talking. He observed the blond boy’s face, and he suddenly felt really sad. He looked so tired, eyebrows furrowed and his eyes dancing around the room, yet he was the one talking to the other two, resting his hands on the other two's shoulders, as if keeping them grounded. The other boy had a nervous look plastered on his face, while the girl’s side bangs covered her face from him.
After some time, people started leaving, probably searching for their homes or somewhere else to stay. When Armin was about to leave with his friends, he paused. He didn't know why but he glanced at the place where the three other kids were. And he silently hoped for them to cross paths again.
By next week, he had forgotten about those three kids altogether.
His first day as part of the Training Corps went so fast, and before he knew it, the day was almost over.
He and Eren went to eat later that night; not a lot of people knew about their past, in fact, Armin was pretty sure nobody knew. At least it was like that before Marco asked.
He didn't really interfere when people suddenly started asking Eren about it during dinner, if he were honest, he would rather let him answer those questions by himself.
Eren and Mikasa left some time later, but he just stayed a little longer with Marco finishing his food before going to bed.
When he got up, however, he bumped into someone, "oh sorry! I didn't mean to do that." He turned around to see the other person, a petite blonde girl; she was even shorter than him.
She glanced at him briefly before ignoring him and walking back to her own table. He was expecting another reaction, at least some kind of verbal acknowledgment but he also didn't really know her, so he wasn't that surprised.
He sighed and looked at Marco, who was finishing up with his plate, "do you need some help taking that back to the kitchen room?"
"Huh? Oh well, yeah, that'd be nice," he smiled at him, while picking up some plates, "thanks."
They went quickly, setting them near one of the kitchen tables, "I'll see you in the dorms, thanks again Armin!" and with that Marco left.
"Yeah, see you!" He looked around the table to check that no dishes would fall down. He took one of the glasses, about to move it somewhere else when he bumped into someone for the second time that night.
And if things couldn't get any worse, not only did this happen with a stranger again, but it was with the same stranger from before, only this time the girl actually looked surprised, and most importantly, wet. Her glass of what he assumed, hoped , was only water was completely empty, the remains clearly sticking her hoodie to her skin, leaving a dark spot on her side
"Oh! I am so sorry!" Armin's face was flustered, he was about to kneel down to pick her glass up when she dismissed him with her hand, picking it up herself. "I- this is the second time, right? It was-"
"Drop it, Arlert," the girl stood up, looking him in the eye, and even though her face didn't show him much, he wouldn't be surprised if she was mad at him.
"Oh? You know my name?" he left her for a second, searching for some cloth. A moment passed, but it didn't seem like she was going to leave now and ignore his question, unlike before.
"Earlier with Shadis," she didn't go any further, but that explained it for Armin, "ah, yeah...he was a bit loud, I guess," he looked at her while giving her a cloth for her to dry up, "what's your name?"
She sighed, but raised an eyebrow, amused. "Annie," she turned to leave, looking at him from her side, "Leonhart."
Armin smiled at her. He accompanied her until they got outside, "I'll see you around, Annie."
Armin left, but Annie stayed there observing him until she couldn't see him anymore. Her head dropped to her feet. Home.
I'll get back home.
When Annie was 15, she got herself roped into one of Armin's ideas. It was around winter, the air was cold and dry, and now that it was dark, the snowing only got worse.
She was only passing by, and she didn't really hear that much, but it was clear Armin was talking about some sort of celebration. If she had to guess, the book from where Armin had heard whatever he heard about holidays must've come from Marley, not that she cared.
In the end, she ended up being caught close by. And after a bit of convincing (mostly from Armin), she agreed to help.
Armin was so excited, telling her, Eren, and Mikasa about the wonders of this new festivity. He said during winter, people used to have all these interesting traditions. He was so sure of it, telling them he read it in his (illegal) book.
They even ended up using the new costumes Armin had brought for them.
For a moment her eyes narrowed, he definitely didn't decide to do this just now, these costumes must've been hard to find. Since when were you planning this, Armin? She thought when she entered the boys' room, it was time for dinner so she, along with Mikasa, Eren and Armin were the only ones there. Armin walked to the other side of the room where his bed was.
After no time, the boy came back, clothes clenched in both of his hands.
Eren was about to ask something when Armin spoke out, "these are yours," he took the folded clothes, both black and red, and handed them to Mikasa and Eren, "you can go change now if you want, I picked them for you, so hopefully they fit," he smiled, while moving his head towards the door, telling them to go ahead and change. After a moment, they both left.
"I know you weren't expecting to do something like this today, but I hope you like this at least, Annie," he said while taking another pile of clothes from his bed and coming back to her. Especially after you helped us out yesterday, I really wanted to find something for you, hope this fits you, Annie. He thought while handing her the dress.
Annie wasn't in a good mood, she really didn't like the idea of playing soldier, she said she'd help with the other things, but this was different. She didn't answer him and just took the dress out of his hand, Armin smiled sheepishly at her, "well, um, I'm gonna go get changed, we'll meet up in the dining hall, okay?"
Annie huffed and curtly nodded. She left the room soon after.
After changing, she looked at herself. She wasn't used to this. Ever since she was a kid, she only wore the warriors’ uniform, the only times she wore something different was when she had to leave in the middle of the night, doing her goddamn job searching for the founding titan. But she was a bit surprised, the dress was beautiful, more than she thought something she would wear would ever be, not that she would say that out loud. Hah, what am I doing?
In the end, she stayed with the trio cleaning. There wasn't that much to do anymore, and the party hadn't really finished, but there were some things that could be taken care of now, like all the dirty dishes left in the dining hall. Now there were just the occasional screams from Sasha and Connie, who were doing who knows what. And the sound of chattering around her from everyone talking.
She looked around after finishing, sitting on one of the benches, leaning on the wall a bit. It felt a bit amusing and interesting to see how all of them tried to celebrate this make-shift holiday. She knew how it was celebrated, she had seen how some holidays were celebrated in Marley. Even though Eldians weren't treated equally, this holiday specifically was really popular there, even Eldians had a good time celebrating it. Her dad and her never really celebrated it that much though, she never stopped training.
She still remembered eating something a bit different during those times, even if they didn't do anything. She thought it was a bit ironic how she remembered the other training warriors trying so badly to celebrate it, whenever the time came and they had free time. Porco would sneak around, along with Marcel, coming back from the forest, with pine needles sticking to their pants, and snow and dirt wetting their knees and butts. Pieck would smile slightly, telling them they would get caught if they didn't keep quiet, and Zeke chuckled before telling them to go change their pants. Reiner would look at them from far away, while Bertholdt would pat his back, assuring him of something with his hand and a nervous smile. And Annie would look from the other side, near Pieck, close enough to hear everything, but far enough for her to feel like an outsider. She never minded.
Sometimes she remembered her days in Marley, reliving the memory through her closed eyelids. She opened her eyes. Nothing had changed that much. She was close, but still far; she was an outsider, again. She didn't care, at least that's what she told herself. There was so many candles lit, trying to keep the light and warmth in. Jean was looking at Mikasa from afar, blushing; while she would be too preoccupied with Eren to notice. He would smile at the rest of them, telling everyone this was Armin's idea, while the blond boy would only smile sheepishly, but not stop his ramblings.
Later that night, when everyone finally decided it was time to go to sleep, Armin asked her to wait. To stay for one minute with him. They were in the middle of the hallway, still, all dressed up. He asked her to sit on the bench that was on one side of the hallway and wait for him. He needed to go back to the dining room for a second, he was going to get something, but he would be right back.
Annie hummed in agreement. She was a bit hesitant about agreeing, but among all the boys, Armin was the least bothersome. So she wasn't as adamant about refusing as usual. Maybe it was because of the holidays that she suddenly felt compliant today, or it was because of what Armin had told her earlier about being a good friend. Maybe she just didn’t care enough to actually refuse.
When Armin came back, he had one arm behind his back, the other one in the air, waving at her for a bit, catching her attention, "sorry for keeping you waiting, I just wanted to thank you. You helped us three a lot when organizing this and carrying the tree back," he said while sitting next to her on the bench, "I also remember what you said before about the dress," there was a pause, and Armin hesitated a bit before adding, "I really hope it didn't ruin the night for you, I do think you look beautiful in it, Annie," Armin smiled, looking at her for a second before lowering his gaze. A blush tainting his cheeks just faintly.
Annie's eyes just widened a bit, but she didn't say anything. She wasn't sure of what to say, but she stopped herself from even opening her mouth. She looked at him from the side, trying to maintain her poker face. Her eyes widened only for a second.
Before she could react or do anything else, he added, "and since we're supposed to celebrate and give today, I wanted to give you this," he turned to her, moving his left hand from behind his back, showing her a blue carnation.
Annie stared at the flower, and for a moment she didn't know what to say. Armin moved his other hand, turning it so his palm was up, asking silently if she could give him her hand. She moved her left hand until it was resting on top of his, and then he took the flower and left it resting on her palm.
When she looked up, she noticed the blush covering his face, but he just gave her a friendly smile, "I just wanted to give you something as a gift, it's not much but I just saw this flower when we were coming back from cutting the tree and well, um, it just reminded me of you," he explained before getting up. She got up, too; holding the flower with one hand and tucking her hair with the other one. "Thank you," she muttered quietly.
"Merry Christmas, Annie," he said softly, while they were walking, nearing the end of the hallway.
"Merry Christmas," she responded when they were at the entrance while nodding, she turned around, going back to the dorms to change. He nodded, waving goodbye, before turning and making his way to the dorms.
They never saw the mistletoe hanging on top of the entrance.
If Sasha hadn't gone to the bathroom early because of the amount of food she ate, and Connie hadn't forgotten about their prank, they would've been snickering while looking at the two blonds.
When Annie was 16, the day before graduating the cadets organized a celebration. There was loud cheering and a lot of yelling. Annie just kept quiet. For her, this was the start of the next phase of their plan. If she wanted to go home, she needed to do this. She would have to trust the two other idiots in helping with their part of the plan, and she trusted in her own abilities to do what she had to do. She ignored the feeling of bile coming from her throat, the weight of guilt settling in her stomach after she remembered. Marco . She suddenly wanted to cry, to sob. Somewhere in her thoughts, she imagined her dad talking to her, back when she was still 10, apologizing and making her promise, she sighed. She has to get back home, no matter what.
But even though she tried to focus on that thought, the screams of Marco plagued her mind. She needed to get out. Out. She went through the door, getting out and walking through the training grounds, walking deep into the forest, trying to lose herself in the shadows of the trees, where she could be by herself.
Stupid Reiner. Bertholdt is useless as well, following Reiner in every fucking thing . She kicked a tree with her boot . Marco died because of me, she grunted, and I just followed Reiner's pathetic excuse of order, trying to save our own skins.
She started punching the tree, too. Her knuckles bleeding from the brute force she was hitting the tree with . She thought of Eren and how, as reckless as he could be, would try to fight for even a lost cause, irrationality be damned. And she thought of Armin, his will and mind strong enough to keep him grounded, even if he couldn't fight to save his skin. His guts made him stronger than her weak-willed mind could ever dream to be. She wanted to be seen as a human, but she wished she could be like that.
And then she cried. She wept and sobbed, kneeling next to the big tree, wiping her tears with the back of her hand, smearing her blood on her cheeks. Healing her wounds while the warmth of her hands kept her grounded, reminding her of her position in Marley, that she was a tool. She spent an hour there, sitting, leaning her back on the tree, calming herself before preparing to go back, pulling herself together.
Suddenly there was a noise, and Annie stood up, alerted. But before she could do anything else, she heard someone scream. Loud and clear, then there was a second scream, this time the voice was hoarse and it sounded tired. And then there was silence.
She heard someone's labored breathing and an exasperated sigh. And as she finally decided it was time to leave, she turned around, about to circle the tree when she was met with a pair of blue eyes.
"I…"
"Annie," he interrupted, eyes wide open, with a surprised look on his face. Annie just looked at him, not prepared to find him here.
"I… um, hey," he greeted her sheepishly. They stared at each other for some time, not saying anything else. Armin spoke again later, "I, uh, sometimes come here whenever I need some time for myself," he looked at his feet, embarrassed, hoping she wouldn't probe him any further, "sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
Annie sighed, "it's fine," and passed him, trying to leave. The sooner I leave, the better.
"Hey, Annie… are you okay, too?" And for a second her steps faltered. For some reason, she hesitated to tell him her response.
"Yep," she added nonchalantly, but Armin's hand held her wrist. And she wouldn't say it out loud, but at that moment she didn't know why she didn't take her hand away and kicked his ass.
"If you're worried about tomorrow, then you shouldn't be, you're one of the best ones out there, I'm sure you'll be good at whatever you decide," Armin smiled and stared at her, silently hoping she wasn't here for the same reasons he was.
Annie just looked at him through her bangs as a response, "I'm going now," and when she left, she faintly heard what could've been a "good night, Annie."
If something unspoken happened between the two of them, neither of them said anything.
That night Annie didn't sleep, nor did Armin.
He was no stranger to sleepless nights, but this time it was different. Tomorrow they'd leave the island. If he was closer to the forest, he would've gone there by now.
He shook his head, this is going nowhere . He sat up from his bed and sighed, he really needed to do this once more before leaving. He changed back to his uniform and left his room quietly.
This would be the second time he comes back there this day, and frankly, he shouldn't even be able to right now, since he technically has no permission to go visit without Hitch's supervision.
Not that Hitch cared , that much he got from the moment she winked at him, pulling him closer and slipping a key to his pocket after his first year visiting her. She would be grinning, patting his back before leaving.
He still tried to do it with some supervision. This time was one of the exceptions. He put his hands on his pockets and hurried over, entering the place quietly. He unlocked the door, sighing after closing it. He went down the stairs until he was able to see her.
And there, in the middle of the room was Annie's crystal. And he looked at her, observing her. He's had more dreams than he could count where she would leave the crystal, sometimes she would just appear next to him, or he would see her on the floor asleep, then opening her eyes, him next to her. He would think of their time back as cadets and just miss that .
Other times he would feel her touch, her breath next to his ear, her hands on his back, and her warmth in his skin. He would imagine her sleeping next to him, breathing.
And during the cold nights, he would live the events all over again. He would go back to the moment he noticed Marco's gear, his stomach dropped the moment he connected the dots. When he wished for him to be wrong. To have it all wrong, please. He would think about the 57th expedition, and knowing deep down, those eyes belonged to only one person. And then it would only get worse. He would go to her, talk to her, manipulate her . And as much as he begged for her to talk to them, she never went with him, the result always the same. And then she'd be trapped, again. His fault.
And he'd wake up in cold sweat, only to start crying and sobbing until he'd fall asleep. He just missed her. So much.
And now, looking up to her, touching the cold surface of the crystal, he only wished for her to be safe when he comes back.
He sat down and took out his white conch. He needed to calm down. He came to talk to her ever since what happened; he vented to her sometimes, and she would be his silent confidant. But he also came because it was Annie. And he would try to talk to her, make a conversation with a frozen girl even though she couldn't reply.
Honestly, he didn’t know why he came, he just wanted to. He wasn’t planning on staying the whole night (even though he would), and he knew she was going to be there when he came back, at least that’s what he hoped. Hitch was smug “Oh lover boy, don’t worry. I’ll take good care of this sleeping beauty for you.” His blush didn’t leave his cheeks, but he still thanked her.
And so, he spent his last hours in Paradis talking to her. For the first time in the last few months, he didn’t talk about his worries or Eren’s current situation, he just talked about their cadet days. Nostalgia hit him up at some point and he stopped talking altogether, just looking at her crystal. He silently wondered if she’d miss him.
When the sun came up and he could hear the clutter coming from outside, he sighed and stood up. He still had a few minutes before Hitch could come, so he got closer to the crystal, and pressed his forehead to the cold and hard surface, his eyebrows furrowed.
“I’ll come back to you, Annie.”
And he did.