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His shoes sunk into the steep, overgrown dirt path. He panted from the perspiration. He really should have brought a water bottle. Or lighter clothing. Or a large stick.
Soda Kazuichi wasn't always sure how he got into these situations.
Perhaps he should have been expecting something like this as soon as they were able to wake up Komaeda Nagito.
The first few days had been fine. Tense, maybe. Nagito didn't act too different to either himself as Super High-School Level Despair or as he was during the simulation. He heard what had happened to him after his 'death', what they had done, what Hajime had managed to do, and simply accepted it. If there were any burning questions that he had, he kept them to himself.
Then he had to bring up Nanami Chiaki.
No one had directly told him that she was the traitor, that she was a creation of the Neo World Program meant to keep an eye on them, and that her execution was the only reason Nagito's plan didn't succeed. But he had pieced together the truth pretty early on. All he had to do was check who was with them to see who was missing. Who didn't have a physical body to return to.
"Why do you all continue to mourn Nanami?" He had asked.
It was so light, so conversational...and yet somehow filled with a tinge of darkness that made Kazuichi's stomach churn.
The first one to react was Fuyuhiko.
"The fuck are you talking about?" He demanded.
"Nanami, of course." Nagito continued, unabashed. "She was the traitor for the Future Foundation, after all. She wasn't one of us. And she knew her existence would be deleted the moment the program finished. That's just how computer programs work, after all. Why would you need to mourn someone who was doomed to be forgotten the moment they were born?"
"I don't know, maybe because she tried to save our lives?!" Kazuichi had jumped in at this point. "Maybe because if it wasn't for her, someone would have gotten us all killed? She sacrificed herself for us! You expect us to just...forget about that because the program didn't mean for us to remember?"
"Sacrifice?"
Nagito paused. His eyes seemed to darken, his casual smile replaced with something more sinister.
"You consider that a sacrifice?" He breathed.
"I think that Nanami was a coward! If she had turned herself in as the traitor from the start, none of you would have known her well-enough to even feel betrayed! If she truly wanted to be a stepping stone for the cultivation of everyone's hope, she should have let you know from the start, to give you a reason to fight back! To be an enemy for everyone's sake! But I guess she was too scared about us potentially thinking she wasn't a 'beloved friend' to even-"
His anger was boiling up. Kazuichi was ready to argue back, but there was no need.
It was so sudden, so abrupt, it took several blinks for Kazuichi to even figure out what had happened. One moment Nagito was standing right in front of them, his arms outstretched in passion, and the next moment he was crumpled in a heap against the wall far behind him, unmoving.
The others moved their heads, and Kazuichi saw the reason behind what had happened. It was Hinata Hajime, his outstretched fist clenched in front of him, staring at the unconscious figure without showing a single sense of emotion on his face.
"He'll wake up in about 20 minutes. He'll be fine." Hajime spoke those words slowly and clearly, deep and emotionless.
And then he was gone.
This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. When Hajime was in a rush to leave, he wouldn't walk or run, he would just...vanish. It was probably him using his...talents...to get out of there so fast and so inconspicuously that people couldn't even register his movements until he was already gone.
But it was the first time he had used that technique on them without telling them where he was going.
After that, things got very silent and very awkward. Sonia took it upon herself to lie Nagito down in a safe position, confirming that he was still breathing, while the others avoided speaking up for a long while. In fear of acknowledging Nagito's words. In fear of admitting there was truth in them.
"D...do you think we should try look for Hinata?" Kazuichi finally sheepishly brought up. "I think he might be upset about this."
"If you can," Fuyuhiko replied, scoffing. "You know what he can do. He's had at least several minutes head-start on us. He could be literally anywhere on the island right now. If we work together we might be able to find him before sundown....if he even wants to be found."
But Kazuichi remembered a moment they had shared. One time a few weeks back, he had been feeling claustrophobic, and Hajime had shown him a place he said he used to relax. A small clearing on the top of one of the hills, with a fantastic view of the port and the ocean. The area was flat and stable enough for someone to sit and reflect while watching the calm waves. It was a bit of a hike up some uneven terrain to get there, but with the right equipment, steady feet...or the combined skill of multiple Super High-School Level talents, it would be easy.
"I think I know where he might be." Kazuichi explained the situation.
"He might still run away if he hears you, y'know?" Akane mumbled. "It's pretty hard to catch him." She spoke with the admiration of someone with first-hand experience of it.
Fuyuhiko shook his head. "Still, it's worth a try. He shouldn't keep the burden to himself every time. I'll check the rest of the facility, and Owari should stay here in case he comes back."
Which meant that he was the one climbing the kind-of-scary hill. The one guy in their group who was scared of heights.
He probably should have switched places with Fuyuhiko. Or heck, even Owari.
But I'm almost there at this point, he sighed. It'd be a waste to chicken out now.
Slowly, one foot in front of the other, he continued ascending the hill.
On the next step, the rock he was aiming for tumbled beneath his foot.
Damn it! He tried to steady himself, but the ground was steeper than he expected. He could feel his shoe slowly falling down, his center of balance getting more and more unstable. He tried to protect his head, expecting the worse, until-
A firm grip pulled him up. Hajime was standing above him, his mismatched eyes looking down completely unsurprised.
"Next time, you should try climbing up from the left side," he said casually. "The ground over here isn't as stable. It's not a consistent incline, which makes it easier for the rocks to get detached."
As he helped him up, and the two of them walked out to the viewpoint, Kazuichi sighed.
"Man, really? I came here because I thought you needed help, and here I am being helped by you instead. There really was no point to me coming here, huh?"
Hajime's expression didn't change. "It's fine. I was expecting you to show up."
"Huh?"
"If I really didn't want you to find me, why would I have gone to a place I've told you about before? I knew you'd consider looking for me here."
"Oh."
Silence.
It always got uncomfortable when Hajime used his talent like this, to so quickly render any thoughts he had completely irrelevant. He could only guess it would happen even more if he was more willing to speak up. Those times he'd stay silent for an unbearably long time. It was probably because all the things he could say weren't going to help them feel any better.
He still considered Hajime a close friend, but...it kind of pissed him off sometimes.
Still, for who and what they were, there were worse flaws to have.
"That stuff about Nanami..." he began. "It wasn't true, you know? It was-"
"I know. Komaeda doesn't know that Nanami's programming forbade her from revealing herself, or even from thinking she was any different to us. He wasn't there when she disobeyed her directives to save us. He doesn't realise the very fact she even could reveal herself to us was the first true miracle to happen in that world. I'm not going to hold that against him."
And once again, the tension deflated prematurely. But Hajime made no effort to move. He was upset, it was becoming easier to tell. The more he talked, the more his emotionless mask seemed to come off, and his true expression came to light.
Was he...ashamed?
If he knew Nagito didn't understand the full story, and yet he still...
"Hey, you shouldn't feel bad about punching Komaeda," Kazuichi admitted.
Hajime didn't respond.
Kazuichi continued. "It's not like you're the only one who did. You're not even the first, you know? I feel like in the game we all tried to at least once. Heck, Owari tried to strangle him! I don't think you overreacted or anything."
Hajime tilted his head down, and for the first time, Kazuichi could see the shame in his face. The Kamukura mask had gone, replaced with the earnest disappointments of the former talentless high-schooler.
"...I'm supposed to be better than that," he said softly.
Kazuichi blanched. "What do you mean? Do you think you're better than us or something?"
Hajime was taken aback. "No! It's just that...I know it's not going to help anything. Punching him, I mean."
Kazuichi shrugged. "I dunno, when I punched him, it made me feel a lot better. He knows he went too far, right? He knows now that you pissed him off, and he's not gonna try it again. Unless he wants to be hit or something."
Hajime paused, then finally shook his head.
"Komaeda doesn't see things like that. He's not the kind of person to acknowledge defeat. Even when he's put on the ropes by someone who overpowers him, he takes that as a sign that any pain inflicted on himself is necessary if it can be a stepping stone for their hope."
Hajime continued with bitter understanding.
"When he wakes up, he's going to start laughing. If he knows he has the power to get a raise out of me, to make me break the character I put on in his presence, that just gives him a reason to endure whatever pain that causes him. That he can make the Super High-School Level Hope acknowledge him. And with a power like that, it'll make him want to do it again. He wants to see me overcome that flaw, even if it means using himself as the obstacle. And it won't stop. Because I'm not perfect. So there's always going to be an opportunity to exploit that."
He sighed.
"This is what I was worried about. The moment I let my guard down, he'd know I'm exploitable just like everyone else. Just like how he knew me. I thought I could keep it up, but then he just had to say those things about Nanami and now...the illusion's gone. Now he knows. And I don't want to have to face that just yet."
He spoke with a finality to it. Now that he aired his grievances, he went back to staring at the waves slowly lapping on the shore.
With the nervous air of an inexperienced guy trying to comfort his friend, Kazuichi softly grabbed Hajime's shoulder, and replied with the first thing that made sense to him.
"I mean...you don't know that for sure, right?"
Hajime slowly spun back. "Huh?"
"You say that's what's going to happen when you get back, but...that's just your guess, isn't it? Even if it's from talent or whatever, it might end up happening differently when you're actually there. Maybe he'll feel bad about it? He'll be like, 'Oh, I didn't mean what I said, I was just lashing out, I'm sorry', and everything will go back to normal? Yeah, the chances are probably pretty small, but...it's not impossible, right?"
Hajime blinked. Once, twice, a few times. In the dying light of the late-afternoon sun, his eyes seemed to glow. It was maybe only a few moments, but slowly, realisation dawned on his face.
"...you're right."
Wait, really? "I was just saying that for the sake of it, I don't know if that's even good advice."
"No, it's not always the best advice. But it's true this time. ...I have the ability to choose what happens."
Hajime went silent again, concentrating. It was like he needed to take far more effort to choose his words, to properly articulate the information going through his altered brain in a way for an outside to understand.
When he finally opened his mouth, he asked, "Do you know about Schrodinger's Cat?"
"Of course," Kazuichi quickly replied. "It's both dead and alive at the same time, right? It's supposed to represent Quantum Mechanics, and how a quantum particle doesn't have a fixed location."
"It's both dead and alive...until you open the box and see for yourself. Once you get a glimpse of it, the probabilities collapse into one function. But until then...even if it's a 0.0001% chance, you can't assume it's not a possible outcome."
"So there's a 0.0001% chance of Komaeda not being a piece of shit about this?"
Hajime smirked.
"Whatever Komaeda chooses to do, he'll do. I...can live with that. It's more that...I need to believe in myself more. I need to believe in myself...by believing that I can be wrong."
"How is believing you're wrong believing in yourself? Does that even make any sense?"
But while Kazuichi was still slightly confused, Hajime began to smile. "You know what? It does."
After a pause, he added, "...I think."