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Dull.
Dull eyes, dull hair, dull everything.
Tommy’s once bright spark was now just a dull flicker that was about to go out. Ranboo could see that spark grow smaller and smaller with every visit. He knew he had to do something, or he could lose his first friend forever.
His friend was a ball of energy. He was snarky, stubborn, and stab happy, but he was also passionate, loyal to a fault, and never gave up. He never half-assed anything and put 100% into everything he did. He was kind where no one else saw it, like when he made sure not to let anyone know that Ranboo was also involved in the accidental burning of George’s house.
Ranboo valued his friendship with Tommy. He liked Tommy; he was his friend, and not just because he was the first person to talk to him on the server. No. He genuinely enjoyed being with Tommy and hanging out with him.
That was why he was so distraught over the loss of everything his friend was.
He didn’t make snarky comments anymore. He didn’t insult or yell at him anymore. He didn’t talk about women or primes or anything that he loved. He was just an empty husk of who his friend used to be.
His blue eyes were dull and lifeless. His blonde hair was dulled to the point of it being brown instead of its natural gold. His whole personality turned blank and emotionless and dull .
Everything about him was now dull .
And Ranboo hated that.
Everything he liked about Tommy was the opposite of dull.
~~~
“Tommy?” Ranboo called out, exiting the portal leading to his friend’s metaphorical cell. He’s been visiting Tommy every other day, wanting to spend time with the teen while also doing his responsibility in L’Manburg.
Walking further to Logsted, Ranboo spotted Tommy sitting on the beach in the same spot he always is when Ranboo visits. Pulling out his communicator, Ranboo clicked off the messaging app and opened the camera before taking a picture of Tommy sitting blankly, staring out at the ocean with far-away eyes.
He started taking pictures of Tommy when he first started dissociating. He took a photo to make sure he didn’t forget what Tommy looked like so he could look up the symptoms and try to find a way to help him. Now, he took a picture every visit, so he had a reminder of exactly what his friend looked like and had photos of him if Tommy, ever- well.
He didn’t want to think of that.
Walking closer to the teen, Ranboo could see the new bruises painting his skin that he couldn’t see from afar. With furrowing brows and a large, hidden frown, Ranboo took a seat next to his friend.
“Hey,” he spoke softly, though he knew Tommy couldn’t hear him. After finding out about dissociation and other coping mechanisms, he could see that his friend was the textbook definition of traumatized.
They sat on the beach silently, one not wanting to break the atmosphere between them and the other not able to. That was until Ranboo sighed and came to a decision on something he was thinking about for a while.
“Tommy...do you wanna stay here?”
Ranboo could see how Tommy twitched, the first reaction he got out of him, no matter how small.
“Just listen to me for a little bit. If you’re able to, tap on my hand once for yes, twice for no, and three times for a maybe or I don’t know,” he put his hand into Tommy’s before feeling a little single tap, his frown turning into a small smile.
“Do you want to stay in Logsted?”
Two taps.
“Do you want to go back to L’Manburg?”
It took a couple of minutes, but Ranboo felt the hesitant three taps on the outside of his gloved thumb.
“If you could leave the server, would you?”
A few seconds passed before Tommy tapped once.
Ranboo smiled wider yet still as soft.
“If...If there was a place where you could heal off the server, would you go?”
A hesitant tap.
“It’s a facility on this city server run by this nice couple with some trained staff to help people. They take in traumatized players and help them be happy again.”
A less hesitant but still apprehensive tap.
“I’d visit you as much I could, and I’d pay for it as well. They’ll be able to help you more than I ever could,” Ranboo finished softly.
Tommy took his time deciding. Ranboo could almost see the thoughts running through his head before internally screaming in joy when he saw Tommy nod.
“Great! We could leave at any time! They take walk-ins, so we don’t even have to call ahead of time. Do you want me to tell anyone?”
Tommy slowly shook his head for no.
“Got it. I won’t reveal anything unless you ask me to. Do you want me to pack your things for you?”
Tommy nodded. Ranboo was delighted to see some of the far-away look in his eyes clearing up slightly.
“Ok. We can leave when I’m done, yeah?” He spoke softly, glad that his friend is accepting help.
Tommy nodded. Ranboo patted his dirtied hair gently, remembering when he tried to clap him on the back only for him to have a panic attack before standing up and stretching his long legs. He looked at Tommy for a moment.
“I’m proud of you.”
Tommy went rigid before Ranboo walked over to the ripped-up tent.
As he was walking, Ranboo didn’t see Tommy’s eyes clear up slightly as he reached to grip the compass he wore tightly around his neck.
“Proud…”
~~~
After informing everyone that he was leaving the server for a few days, Ranboo took Tommy to ‘Honeybee Helping Home for the Mistreated and Abused.’ It was run by Clara and Emily Magnolia, the two women having opened it after seeing how many kids are traumatized after traveling during their honeymoon ten years ago.
Now in their late thirties, the two women ran a fairly decent-sized facility that catered specifically to the needs of traumatized children, such as Tommy. When he and Ranboo walked into the place, the secretary took one look at them, more so Tommy, what with his lifeless eyes and bruised skin, and took them to Clara and Emily.
Ranboo, and Tommy but he couldn’t say anything, really liked the two. They were friendly and considerate and listened when Ranboo explained what happened to Tommy, who was listening to music from an iPod that Clara gave him, so he didn’t have to relive the trauma.
They showed the two around and introduced them to some of the staff and other kids living there. They showed where Tommy would stay in his own room that was in the ages 16 -18 hall.
The room he would be staying in was cozy, much cozier than anything he’d ever stayed in on the SMP. It had a twin-sized bed with a fluffy red blanket, one they got just for him after Ranboo told them he liked the color red, a window overlooking a flower garden, a desk with a lamp and quill holder, as well as having a few draws that held paper and books to write in.
There was a dresser where they told him he’d put clothes they’d buy for him, an attached bathroom that held no pills or sharp objects of any kind, and in the corner of the room, Ranboo took out a jukebox and set it down, along with a chest to put the music disks inside.
Thinking of music disks, Tommy’s heart hurt as he thought about the two disks he left behind.
“Come on,” Ranboo’s voice suddenly brought him back to awareness. “They’re going to show us the cafeteria and tell us about diet plans to get you back to a healthy weight.”
As Ranboo led Tommy behind Clara and Emily, Tommy felt like he could finally relax.
~~~
“My Dearest Ranboob,
It’s been two fucking years. I know we exchange letters weekly, especially now that you’re not able to visit as much, but it’s still been two years since I’ve been in this place. I know I don’t say this a lot, but since it has been two years, I might as well tell you how glad I am that you dragged my ass here. Don’t fucking deny it bitch boy; you would have dragged my ass here anyway if I said no. I think I’m ready for everyone to visit. Dr. Kris told me that my mental state seems to be ready for visitors, and I feel ready to try. I know everyone thinks I’m dead, and, being the absolute big man I am, I don’t want you to tell them where they’re going or why until they see me. I know, I know, I’m the best. You can bring anyone or everyone you want. I’m not scared anymore (not that I was afraid in the first place fuck off) to face them. Bring Dream, bring Technoblade, bring Tubbo; it’s okay.
I’m ready,
Tommy Danger Kraken Innit”
~~~
“IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS, DREAM! HE’S NOT COMING BACK!”
Ranboo moved his gaze to everyone in the room as the arguing between Fundy and Dream continued. He could see Tubbo standing in the corner, eyes glazed over with regret and guilt in the way they did every time someone brought up Tommy.
“TOMMY’S GONE! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!” Fundy looked like he was one second away from taking Dream’s first canon life.
“NO! I KNOW HE’S OUT THERE!”
Looking to the other corner, Ranboo spotted the worn red beanie and round glasses before he heard the man speak up.
“Give it up, Fundy. He won’t listen to reason. And besides, he literally ripped me from the afterlife to look for him, so who’s to say he isn’t out there?” Wilbur spoke for the first time since the familiar argument started up.
After the first month of Tommy’s disappearance from exile and the server altogether, Dream used the revival book to bring back Tommy, thinking he was dead, but instead, he revived Wilbur. With that knowledge, Dream was adamant about Tommy being alive while everyone else mourned. Wilbur confirmed this by saying that Tommy wasn’t in the afterlife, but with no body to prove that he was alive, everyone just agreed to say he died.
Wilbur started out acting like he did during Pogtopia. But after getting cuffed in the back of the head by Puffy, as well as therapy sessions with her, he calmed down and started acting like a mix between his old self and Ghostbur, who Dream sent to the afterlife in place of Wilbur.
Ranboo made sure to tell Tommy what happened and immediately felt guilty about it once he received a call from Dr. Kris, Tommy’s primary psychiatrist, said that he had a bad panic attack. After two more months, Tommy asked about Wilbur. Ranboo tried to provide as much comfort he could through a letter and spoke about how he also went to therapy and was doing better. Glad that his metaphorical older brother was once again sane, Tommy took to asking about Wilbur in almost every letter. Ranboo couldn’t blame him, seeing as he spent months watching his older brother figure fall into insanity before being murdered by his father.
“Without a body, what are we supposed to do, huh?! Wait for someone who might never come back?! He’s gone ! We need to move on!” Fundy yelled, his eyes watering. Wilbur softened a touch before walking over to Fundy and gently rubbing his back. The two had a hard time fixing their relationship, and they were still working on it, but they’d come a long way from Fundy running away from him on sight.
“Fundy’s right.”
The quiet and tired voice of Tubbo caused them all to look at him from where he was leaning on the wall.
“Tommy’s...gone. He has been for a while. Despite how much we want to, and trust me, I want to ; we can’t wait for him to come back like we did two years ago. We can only move and not let what happened to him happen to anyone else ,” he spoke the last part with a dangerous edge in his voice as he stared into the blank mask.
After Tommy’s disappearance, Tubbo became cold and closed off. Ranboo really couldn’t blame him, for he knew how much Tubbo blamed himself. Despite how much Ranboo tried to make him see how it wasn’t his fault, Tubbo couldn’t see past his own self-loathing.
Ranboo watched as Tubbo left the room, the meeting room in New L’Manburg, before Wilbur, Fundy, and eventually Dream left as well. With the meeting done, Ranboo pulled out the letter he received yet was unable to open because of his busy schedule.
Opening it, he let out a fond scoff when he read the first line.
“‘Dearest Ranboob.’ Yeah, okay, Raccooninnit,” Ranboo chuckled.
Reading through the whole letter, he couldn’t help but feel proud about how far his friend has come. He no longer dissociated; his lifeless eyes were now brighter than ever, his matted hair was now golden and long enough to create small twin braids on the side of his head before coming together in the back to create a single bun with the rest of his hair.
He wasn’t dull anymore, and Ranboo couldn’t be prouder.
~~~
(Ranboo) :
@Everyone @Everyone
Meet me at spawn tomorrow at 10 am!
There’s someone I think you should meet.
(Tubbo):
?
~~~
Ranboo made it to spawn at 10 am on the dot, happy to see the rest of the server there as well, despite some grumbling.
“What is it? Why are we here? I didn’t authorize anyone new to join?” Dream growled, his body language displaying irritation and annoyance. Ever since Tommy disappeared, everybody blamed him, since it was his fault, really, and pulled away from him. He tried to pull everyone back with the promise of their stuff back, but they didn’t listen to him anymore, causing him to become similar to Pogtopia Wilbur.
“No one new is joining, but there is someone I’d like you all to see. We have to go off-server, though,” that caused people to either perk up or look at him in suspicion.
“What server are we going to, exactly?” Technoblade narrowed his red eyes, hand reaching his sword before Phil, from beside him, elbowed him in the side. After Wilbur’s revival, he went ham on Phil for not paying attention to Tommy. Though they weren’t related by blood, Wilbur thought of Tommy as his younger brother anyways, and he thought that once he died, Phil would care for the blond like he did. He was heavily distraught to find out that not only did Phil not care, but he also stopped caring about anyone other than Technoblade.
After Wilbur thoroughly yelled at him, Phil tried to make it up to him by joining the search for Tommy and, with a lot of complaining, roped Technoblade into it as well. After the first year, Tubbo pardoned Technoblade and was allowed back into L’Manburg; though Quackity heavily disagreed, Tubbo silenced him with a glare.
“It’s a public server. We’re going to a facility on the server where they live,” Ranboo decided to be as vague as possible to let Tommy have some fun. And maybe he was feeling a little vindictive that these people are what caused his friend’s many mental breakdowns. Maybe.
Anyway .
Ranboo opened the portal to the other server, one he’d perfected after two years of practice, before looking behind him and waving his hand in a ‘come on’ gesture. He walked through to the other side, landing in front of the homey-looking building. When he turned back around, he watched as everyone else followed him through the portal.
“Well,” he gestured behind him to the softly colored building. Its walls were painted a pastel yellow with a large sign on the front that said ‘Honeybee Helping Home for the Mistreated and Abused’ with a cartoon-looking bee sitting at the top.
“We’re here!”
~~~
Tommy woke up that morning feeling refreshed. He got a good night’s rest with no nightmares, then he took a warm shower that relaxed any tight muscles he had, and then had an excellent breakfast of eggs and bacon with his friend, Henry, who he befriended because he reminded Tommy of his once-beloved cow.
After breakfast, he got dressed in a soft, oversized red sweater and baggy sweatpants before walking through the halls to the outside garden near his window. On the way, he accidentally walked into someone’s chest. Pulling back, he smiled as he was faced with his friend from the 19-21 age group, Ty.
“Ty! Good to see you! How are you?” Xe smiled at him softly. Xe told him once that he reminded xem of xir's younger brother, who xir’s abusive parents killed, so xe was always exceedingly soft around Tommy, not that the blond complained. He understood what it was like to lose a brother to their parents.
“Hey, Tomcat. Good to see you as well. I’m good, how about you? What are you up to?” Ty pulled Tommy into a hug, threading xir fingers through his medium-length hair before pulling it into a half-up half-down bun with a spare hair tie xe had. Tomy huffed but nuzzled deeper into the larger chest of the 19-year-old.
“I’m good, Tyger. I was just heading out to the gardens, you know how much I make the flowers look better than the gardeners,” Tommy huffed out proudly, causing the blue-haired ‘young-adult’ to chuckle. Tommy always appreciated how Xe never laughed when he wanted xem to laugh and not when he didn’t want xem to.
“Well, then I won’t keep you. Go, do your flower shit,” xe chuckled, letting go of Tommy with a gentle head pat. Tommy grumbled under his breath about it but leaned into the touch like a kitten, causing Ty to chuckle under xir breath.
“See you later, Ty,” Tommy waved xem bye before heading out the doors leading outside and to the garden.
Making his way towards the cute little garden he made for himself, he sat by the Lilacs and messed around with the Marigolds as he hummed ‘Mellohi’ to himself. As he was tending to the Rose Campions, he heard a familiar voice he hadn’t heard in two years.
“TOMMY!”
~~~
Ranboo led them through the front doors of the place before stopping in front of the receptionist’s desk. The woman sitting there perked up when she saw him, and if she were a dog hybrid, they’d think her tail would be wagging. Her long hair was grey with lighter strips all pulling into a messy bun at the top of the back of her head. Her pale green eyes shone brightly the closer he got to her.
“Oh, Ranboo dear! How are you! It’s been a while since your last visit!” Ranboo smiled at her softly; though they could only see half of it, they saw how his discolored eyes softened.
“Hello, Ms. Juniper. I’m good, I’m good, and yeah, sorry about that, I’ve been busy and all. Would you happen to know where he is?” He emphasized ‘he’ before discreetly nodding towards the group of confused-looking people. Understanding fills her eyes as she nodded back.
“ He ’s out in the garden. Ty just passed by from the direction of the doors with one less hair tie on xir wrist,” Juniper giggled, causing Rnaboo to chuckle in return, gaining a few looks from his friends.
“Thank you, I’ll make sure nothing happens,” his voice turned somber, causing her to sober up from her giggling and nod at him.
“Thank you. You know how much of a soft spot I have for that boy,” she placed her hand on her cheek as she tilted her head.
Ranboo just chuckled as he walked back over to the group to guide them outside, calling back an “I know.”
~~~
Leading them through a set of double glass doors, Ranboo listened in as everyone murmured about what was happening.
“No, seriously, where are we?” Quackity loudly whispered to Karl and Sapnap, earning confused shrugs from the two.
“I think it’s some kind of psych ward and group home mix,” Tubbo informed, looking to Ranboo for confirmation. All Ranboo did was nod and smile to himself. He was very excited for their reactions.
He brought them to a flat grassland outside of the building with a window open above them with no one inside of the room. In the space in front of the window, a young-looking teen was sitting in front of a small garden.
Most of them didn’t recognize the teen, but those who did could only suck in a gasp as their eyes filled with tears.
“I-Is that…?” Wilbur stuttered, pushing his glasses up to rub at his now watering eyes.
“TOMMY!” Tubbo yelled, running towards the blond whose head snapped up at the sound of his name. When they all saw him, they all gasped and burst into cries of shock or tears.
Tommy’s face broke into a wide smile as his eyes shone with excitement and life and emotion . Everyone felt the breath knocked out of them as they watched the teen jump up from his spot by the flowers and ran at Tubbo. They’d all seen the pictures Ranboo took from exile. They’d all seen the dead-eyed look, the bruised and battered skin, the dull hair and emotionless eyes.
But now, here he was, the boy they thought they’d lost. He looked happy, healthy, and alive .
Dream watched the boy from the back of the group, grinding his teeth before a cruel smile went onto his face, hidden by his porcelain mask.
“TUBBO!” Tommy laughed wetly as he hugged his shorter friend, happy and smug that he remained the taller of the two.
“Tommy! How-Wha-When-” Tubbo couldn’t seem to land on a single question, tears falling from his eyes as he babbled. Tommy just smiled at him softly before wiping away the tears.
“I’m here, Big T.”
That seemed to break the trance everyone was in as they rushed towards him, though some of them wanted to keep their ‘cool reputation’ and walked towards him as calmly as they could. Dream remained standing where he was, watching them all go towards their lost friend.
“Tommy!” Wilbur shouted, pulling Tommy into a bone-crushing hug. He cradled the back of the boy’s head as he cried into his shoulder, whispering his name. Tommy just hugged back, content to sit in his older brother’s arms once again.
Phil watched the two from afar as he felt a multitude of emotions. He was happy they found Tommy and that his son was happy, more comfortable than he’d been in a long time, but he wished that he felt that happy with him. Why couldn’t Wilbur be that happy with him? Why was he only this happy with Tommy? Phil pushed these feelings down and swallowed thickly as he watched the two cry and laughed as they hugged each other.
Wilbur let Tommy down from the hug, where he was immediately brought into another one by Quackity.
“THOMAS! I MISSED YOU!” Quackity hugged him tightly before letting him go with one last squeeze.
They all took turns hugging Tommy, though Technoblade hesitated before Tommy huffed out in amusement and hugged him around his shoulders. Technoblade couldn’t help but roll his eyes and ruffle his hair, muttering a quiet ‘Glad to see you’re not dead’ into his ears.
Once all of the hugs were given, and tears were gone, Tommy brought them all over to his garden. He made them all sit down in front of it, Tubbo sitting next to him on one side, holding his hand tightly like he was reminding himself that Tommy was real and Wilbur on the other side, just wanting to be close to his younger brother from another mother.
“So, Tommy, how are you here, mate? Last we saw you, you were in exile,” Phil asked, seeing as how no one else would. He quickly earned glares from Tubbo and Wilbur, moving closer to Tommy in overprotectiveness, but the blond just smiled at him and waved off the other two, though not making them move away.
“Well, I wasn’t doing so hot in exile,” he chuckled, “so Ranboob here visited me every other day before one day asking me if I wanted to go someplace off the server to heal. He then brought me here and had me registered.”
“YOU KNEW WHERE HE WAS THE ENTIRE TIME?!” Fundy yelled at Ranboo, who didn’t seem any part affected at being yelled at, too used to Tommy’s outbursts.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, looking at the bewildered fox-hybrid, “I would have, but he asked me not to, so I didn’t.”
“Yeah, that one’s on me. Sorry,” Tommy looked down at his hands and picked at his nails.
All Fundy could do was sigh and sit back down next to Wilbur and George.
“It’s fine; you didn’t have an obligation to tell us. We all just missed you,” Fundy grumbled but leaned onto George; the two grew closer with the shared experience of being close to Dream.
Tommy looked at him before moving his eyes to the rest of the group and smiled at them softly.
“I missed you all too.”
~~~
After around two hours of catching up, Tommy decided that it was about time they left since he was getting tired and it was almost time for his weekly therapy session.
“Thank you all for coming. You can visit me whenever you want; you know where I’ll be this time,” Tommy chuckled while everyone else looked at him with wide eyes.
“You’re not coming with us?” Tubbo whispered. Tommy looked at him before pulling him into a hug.
“No, not yet, Tubs. While I was ready to see everyone again, I don’t think I’m ready to go back there just yet,” he sighed.
At that moment, Dream, who’d just been silently staring from a distance, made his way over to Tommy. He had his hands in his hoodie pocket, but his body language was tense and smug at the same time.
Tommy didn’t react though, he stood his ground and looked at the man with a neutral expression.
“Tommy! Are you sure you don’t want to go back?” Dream’s voice held both smugness, fake curiosity, and a hint of threatening.
Tommy just looked at him and smiled blankly, eyes not kind yet not full of hate like they once were when they used to land on the green-clad man. “Yes, Dream. I’m sure.”
“Hm,” Dream hummed in fake confusion. “Not even for,” he tilted his body forward as his body language turned fully smug.
“Your precious disks?”
Gasps rang out from the group, and Tubbo grabbed Tommy’s hand tightly. They all looked at the blond while he just looked at Dream impassively. Seeing his uninterested gaze, Dream seemed honestly confused for a split second before he turned annoyed.
“I’m good.”
Dream growled slightly before taking a step towards the blond. As he was about to take another step, a hand landed on his shoulder, stopping him. Turning around, the masked man saw a protective-looking Ranboo.
“Ranboo, you can take him back now,” Tommy yawned, looking at the two boredly. Ranboo nodded as he teleported himself and Dream to spawn to drop Dream off at the SMP.
“Ugh, glad he’s gone. His gaze was getting on my nerves,” Tommy huffed before drawing Tubbo into another hug.
“Make sure you visit this time, ‘kay?” Tommy whispered into Tubbo’s ear, causing the brunette’s breath to hitch as he started to cry. He wasn’t able to get his words out, so he just nodded as he sobbed into Tommy’s arms.
Wilbur came from behind and wrapped his long arm around both of the boys. He whispered assurances of visits and letters to the blond, who just huffed and rolled his eyes fondly. Wilbur chuckled when Tommy called him a dramatic bitch, but he couldn’t help the small number of tears that came to his eyes.
Everyone else joined in, and it turned into a giant group hug. They all whispered assurances to Tommy that they’d visit this time which caused him to brighten like the sun. Technoblade called him Apollo, and Tommy positively vibrated with glee at the new nickname, one not associated with death and bloodshed and betrayal. One associated with restarts and promises to be kept this time.
They broke apart once Ranboo came back from dropping Dream off at the SMP to bring them back as well. With one last hug from each of them, Tommy bid them all goodbye as he watched them all leave from his spot in front of his garden.
~~~
He stayed there for another twenty minutes before a nurse, Nurse Penelope, brought him to Dr. Kris’s office for his weekly session. It started the same, Dr. Kris asking Tommy about his week from the last session, if he reacted to anything negatively at some point, how his meds were that he took every day during breakfast, the usual.
“So, Tommy, has anything special happened?” Dr. Kris clicked his pen as he looked at Tommy with kind eyes.
“Special?” Tommy tilted his head, thinking of everything that counted as unique. Feeling the phantom touches of his loved one’s hugs, hearing their whispered assurances, watching them shed tears as they reunited, Tommy felt himself smile at the warmth in his chest.
“Yeah. Something special, alright.”