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"Goddammit!" muttered Bucky as the first droplets of rain hit him. He and Sam had just gotten out of Torres's car and were walking the rest of the way.
They had gotten the mission alert at a very unfortunate time. Bucky was taking Sam to his favourite sushi place and as they were getting dressed they had to change plans and put on their combat outfits instead.
The mission had gone swimmingly. It was a simple rescue op. No casualties, no escapees. Bucky wasn't even needed there if he's being honest, but no matter how harmless the mission, Bucky wasn't going to let his partner go in alone.
"Torres could've dropped us all the way through you know," Sam said, amused, his hair now dripping wet.
"Yeah well," Bucky chewed on his lip, "I wanted to walk. It's a quiet street so..." In reality, he just wanted to spend alone time with Sam without Torres being the centre of Sam's attention. He wasn't jealous of the kid. No, no, there was nothing to be jealous of. He just wanted Sam to himself.
When they finally got into the sushi place it wasn't too crowded, and Bucky let out a sigh of relief.
The place was quiet and intimate. They chose a booth away from the door and sat down taking a breather and listening to some country singer's voice coming through the speakers.
If you asked Bucky, he'd probably tell you it started recently. They had started to spend more and more time together, either with Sam's family or just alone at Bucky's apartment.
"I saw you ran out of milk," Sam announced holding up the grocery bag and then pushing his way into Bucky's apartment.
He still wasn't sure why Sam was doing this. Sure they were friends but do friends buy each other groceries? Honestly, he had no idea maybe they did in the future. What would Bucky know?
Anyway, he enjoyed Sam's company. He probably wouldn't tell him that no need to inflate the guy's ego, but yes that was the truth that Bucky had come to terms with, in his own head. He liked Sam and he enjoyed having him around. His brain would stay distracted as long as Sam's around.
He had told him about the nightmares, and Sam had given him really good advice. Bucky was getting better, and his nightmares were less frequent now.
"You're not alone, you know," said Sam, as a song played on the television screen. "I'm here if you ever want to talk. We can do this more often."
'This' was watching a movie Sam claimed was a must-watch and that Bucky cannot live his life without watching it. Today they were watching Shrek. Bucky didn't get what was the big deal but Sam seemed to enjoy it so Bucky had just decided to go with it.
He hadn't thought today would be a day for a heavy conversation seeing as they were watching a cartoon. But that's Sam for you, he guessed.
"I know," he replied after talking a few good gulps of his beer. "Thanks, Sam. I appreciate this." He gave Sam a sincere smile which turned into a smirk as he said, "even if you have crappy taste in movies."
He got a throw pillow to his face and an offended "Hey!" before they burst into a fit of laughter and the song on the tv came to an end.
Really, if you asked Bucky, he'd probably tell you it started when Sam basically made Bucky a part of his family.
"Pass me the salt, Buck."
He was still not used to this. His fingers accidentally knocked over the salt shaker but he quickly picked it back up and passed it to Sam with a muttered apology.
AJ and Cass had run off to find their friends to whom they were probably bragging about their uncle who was now officially Captain America.
So much time had passed since the first time Sam had called him 'Buck' and he still had the same reaction.
The first time on that plane he had acted all defensive, pulling in a sorry excuse of how only Steve was allowed to call him that. But that obviously hadn't stopped Sam, and every time he called Bucky 'Buck' his heart did a weird little thing. He didn't want to overthink it, because no he can't possibly have fallen for Sam. This is just a weird nostalgia thing. 'It'll pass away,' he told himself and carried on with the eating.
Look, if you asked Bucky, he'd probably tell you it started on the boat. Bucky had only come to drop off the case, but Sam had offered him his couch. This was a kindness he hadn't received from anyone other than Steve for the past 70 years.
That was it. It was kindness. Nothing else. Sam was a good person and a good friend who would've offered up his couch to anyone else as he did for Bucky. It was just that. Bucky shouldn't get his hopes up high.
They had worked on the boat together that day, and now that the boat was fixed and business was thriving Sam had invited Bucky to a cookout. He had already made it clear that Bucky was invited to stay and so he had packed for a couple of days.
The cookout was fun. Crowded than Bucky would've anticipated, but everyone around was having a good time so Bucky didn't mind. He didn't cook much himself so the only thing he could think of was a cake. So that's what he got. The moment AJ and Cass had seen him they had run up to him throwing fake punches and playfully tackling him. He'd managed not to drop the cake (again - don't ask him) and settled himself on the table beside Sam.
The kids' behaviour towards him had changed as Bucky visited more often than not. They had even started calling him uncle Bucky. Bucky found it funny how they went from running away from him to running towards him. But he was happy to be part of the family. He felt welcomed, and he felt at home.
Most of his days here he spent fishing with Sam. He was a bit rusty but Sam was a good teacher, very patient, and observant. 'He would make a good father,' an unhelpful part of his brain had provided, resulting in Bucky missing what Sam had just said.
Sam was talking about how different weather brought in different breeds of fishes and what was the best way to catch which fish.
When he had mentioned monsoon and how the rain affected the business, Bucky's mind had decided to provide him mental images of how good Sam would look drenched in the rain, and how exciting it would be to kiss him in the rain.
Bucky had blinked rapidly and coughed a couple of times to clear the image off his mind. Sam being the perfect fucking human being he was had handed him a bottle of water. He really hoped the tint on his cheeks and pink in his ears would be interpreted as a result of his coughing fit and not his mind drifting to unwanted places.
It was later that evening when they had finished up dinner, and we're cleaning up together when Sam had brought up Steve's name.
Sarah was putting the boys to bed, and Sam had promised to make sure everything's in place before he goes to bed, 'So you can just go to bed and not come out here to worry about something else,' he had told her. Bucky had stayed to help and so he was wiping off the dripping dishes that Sam was washing up.
"He was an absolute shit the first time we met," said Sam, chuckling at the memory. "That was something the history books left out, I'll tell you. That Captain America was a little shit."
"Little is correct."
Sam laughed harder at that. He loved making Sam laugh. The way his face lit up, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, made Bucky's heart warm.
"Do you remember the first time we met?" asked Bucky. His memories from his days as the Winter Soldier were tricky. Sometimes he remembered things correctly, sometimes he didn't. Most of it came back to him in the form of nightmares, and he wasn't sure how much of it was real and how much just a jumble of horrors in his mind.
Sam looked at him curiously, then shrugged, "I remember it. You weren't very chatty."
"Sorry about your car. I never apologized for that."
"And you don't have to." Sam had now stopped scrubbing the dishes and had turned to face him.
"That wasn't you so don't try to make amends with me. We talked about this remember."
Bucky nodded, then said, "Let me do something for you then."
"No one's stopping you." He pointed at the dishtowel in Bucky's hand and went back to scrubbing his dishes.
Bucky looked down at the task in hand and shook his head, a smile creeping onto his face. That wasn't exactly what Bucky had in mind. He meant that in a 'Let me take you out for dinner' or 'Let me give you a back massage' kinda way, but if Sam wasn't taking hints maybe he really wasn't interested.
"Why did you stick around?" He asked after the dishes were done, and they were sharing a beer on the couch.
He didn't answer immediately.
"You were Steve's friend."
"But Steve knew me longer," Bucky argued.
"Yeah you've mentioned," he said with a smirk.
This was a thing Bucky couldn't stop doing. It wasn't necessarily a new thing. When they were younger Bucky always compared all his other pals to Steve. Steve was somehow the bar, the mark that you needed to reach. No one had ever been better than Steve obviously and he hadn't really minded that much. As long as Steve was around he didn't really care if he had better company.
But then he met Sam. And he couldn't figure out the guy. The way he was loyal from the beginning. The way Steve trusted him so blindly. The way he always stuck his neck out for whatever Steve believed in. The guy was a saint. And Steve was right to pass on his shield to Sam. There was no one more deserving of that shield than Sam Wilson. So when Sam had retired the shield it had threw Bucky off. It was as if Bucky had finally found a flaw in the guy. But then they had that talk and Bucky had finally understood it wasn't even a flaw, the guy was just too good.
So now in Bucky's head Steve wasn't the bar anymore, Sam was.
Maybe, if you asked Bucky, he'd probably tell you it started when he first saw Sam in his new Cap suit.
Sam was a very attractive man. It wasn't just the charm, the charisma, the sunshine attitude, no even if you take all of that away, he was very attractive.
So now when Bucky saw him in the suit...
It fitted so well, the wings looked fresh, the shield looked natural, he looked... like an angel. An angel with an ass for days.
Lifting off that car full of hostages, pulling that off so cleanly despite being only human, sure he had Shuri's tech to help, but it was still Sam. Sam goddamn Wilson.
Bucky was sure he was an angel, especially when he landed on his feet oh so lightly carrying Karli's lifeless body. He looked like an angel when he took off to rescue the last of the flagsmashers. He looked like an angel when he snatched Bucky off that truck in Munich. He looked like an angel when he jumped off the plane. He looked like an angel on every battlefield Bucky had seen him on. And Bucky needed to pull it together.
The man was giving a very important and much-needed speech. He was talking about real issues here. Laying out Karli's argument to those that labeled her a terrorist and called it a day. He was doing what needed to be done. He was telling the Senator what he had so far refused to hear and he was doing this on national television. And what was Bucky doing? Fantasizing about the man's ass in that suit. He really needed to pull it together.
Honestly, if you asked Bucky, he'd probably tell you it started in Madripoor. The moment Zemo had called him 'soldat' Bucky's mind had short-circuited. He knew this wasn't real, he wasn't the Winter Soldier anymore, but something in there had shifted. He needed something, he needed an anchor, something, someone to keep him grounded. He looked at Sam from the corner of his eye and took in a deep but subtle breath to calm himself down. 'There you go' he had told himself, 'It's not real. You're Bucky, and there's Sam, ready to puke himself just looking at the snake drink on the counter.'
That had anchored him back to reality. Sam had anchored him back to reality. There was something about Sam that made Bucky feel warm on the inside. No matter what the situation, looking at Sam would always brighten everything. He wouldn't tell Sam this of course, but it was there and Bucky had acknowledged it.
He had tried his best not to show his amusement on his face when Sam swallowed the drink in one go. The Winter Soldier didn't feel amused after all. But things were okay and he knew it.
Actually, if you asked Bucky, he'd probably tell you it started in Munich. Sam being Sam wouldn't shut up, and Bucky wanted to think. They were walking to the airport, and Bucky's heart was doing things it hadn't done for God knows how long. He could still feel Sam all over him from when they had rolled around in the field, Sam's hand covering his head, the brief moment his fingertips brushed Bucky's neck, and when they had finally come to a stop Sam panting below Bucky's weight.
Bucky had to do everything not to turn his head and look at Sam. 'Staring problem' Sam had called it. But Bucky couldn't help but stare at Sam. It was partly his old habits from when he was the Winter Soldier but it was also because Sam was so... easy on the eyes.
Sam was right, Bucky's brain was on fire, but how could it not be when you had the literal sun walking next to you.
He already hated Walker and interrupting their conversation didn't really help his case.
The warm feeling returned when Sam got out of the car after him. 'He cares about you', said a little voice in Bucky's mind.
'It's nothing' Bucky had lied to himself. He hasn't had friends in a long time. This is a new relationship he's bound to feel this way. He's getting comfortable around Sam. This is a good thing. But then why did he feel an itch whenever other people looked at Sam. It wasn't like Sam was only there for his eyes.
God no! Sam was a looker Bucky would admit it, and so it was okay if people looked at him, smiled wide at him, and he smiled back at them. He wasn't jealous of the kid. There was nothing about Sam and Torres that Bucky had to be jealous of. It was clear that Torres was a fan. Maybe of the Avengers, maybe of the Falcon. It was cool. He was a good kid. A little overexcited maybe, but good, nonetheless.
So yeah, he wasn't jealous of the encouraging pats Sam gave the kid or the nods and smiles of approval. It was nothing. Sam was a good friend, and Bucky was being childish.
Plus it wasn't like Torres had anything on Bucky. Bucky knew Sam longer. Sure their relationship was rocky back then only stable because of Steve but he still knew Sam. Knew him longer than Torres did so Bucky didn't have to worry about anything.
Sam had broken the law for him, had become a fugitive for him. Bucky was definitely more important to him than Torres.
He had to pull the breaks here. What the hell was he doing!? Weighing his importance in Sam Wilson's life like he was a teenager with a crush. Fuck!
Well, maybe don't ask Bucky. He doesn't have an answer to how and when he fell for Sam Wilson. Was it the first time he laid his eyes on him? Was it because of the kindness he showed him? Was it his beautiful face? His angelic grace? His too good to be true ass? Bucky didn't know.
What he did know was that he wanted to kiss Sam in the rain, and he wanted him to feel this magic that Bucky felt, and he wanted to be his partner in more than one sense.
It was still raining even if it had slowed down. They had finished their dinner and were now walking beside each other in the light shower. The streets were still quiet and Bucky wanted to reach out and touch Sam.
"Bucky."
"Yeah?" He looked up eyes wide. Did he say something out loud?
"We're walking the wrong way."
"Oh." Right. Um. "Let's get icecream."
"I don't know about you, man, but if I eat ice cream in this weather I will get sick."
Bucky was at a loss for words. What now?
Bucky just stood there thinking of his next step, but Sam beat him to it.
"You know," he began, "This is all appreciated but kinda unnecessary."
Sam was now facing Bucky and was there a beam of light shining on him? Okay, Bucky was sure about the angel theory now.
"What do you mean?" He asked in a small voice.
"'Let's walk the way to the restaurant', 'Let's sit at the corner booth', 'We're both already wet, let's just walk home in the rain' and now the ice cream."
Bucky's heart was running a mile per minute.
"Just kiss me, Buck. Or do you want me to initiate it?" He said it so easily that Bucky didn't know what to say. He hadn't thought this would actually work out. Oh Shit! Sam looked so good!
Bucky stepped forward and cupped Sam's face in his hands, the leather of the suit soft underneath his palm. He leaned in, Sam's hands had found their way to his waist, and their mouths pressed together. Sam made an approving hum and deepened the kiss.
Standing there as the rain poured on them, their bodies pressed together sharing heat to fight off the cold, Bucky was content. Bucky was happy. And he was in love.
Once they pulled away, Sam whispered against his lips, "Let's get back to your place, yeah? Cuddles and beer and Shrek is what I need."
"Great! Nice way to ruin the mood," Bucky said completely pulling away from Sam now.
"Oh come on! Shrek doesn't get you horny?"
"Wilson!"
"Barnes!"
"I hate you."
Sam just chuckled and put his hand in Bucky's, bumping their shoulders together as they walked in the rain.