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The House of Wind is full of people laughing, dancing, and drinking. The Cassian and Nesta’s mate bond ceremony was beautiful and I even cried with happiness when I saw the love between the two.
Now I walking up to Nesta, who welcomes me with open arms and a smile on her face while laughing with her friends.
- Girls, this is my little sister. - She turned me toward two girls, a brunette and a redhead. - Elain Archeron.
- I'm older than Feyre. Just saying. - I say and they laugh. Nesta continued the introductions.
- Elain, this is Emerie. - The brunette smiled, gave a nod. - And this is Gwyn. - The redhead hugged me and I'm surprised by the act.
- You are so beautiful, just as Nesta commented. - Gwyn spoke and I move away to thank her, but as soon as made the move, my gaze fell to a necklace on Gwyn's neck and I recognize it very well.
- I...I forgot..Excuse me - I turned around, holding my dress, my heart racing and my mind being invaded by memories.
The necklace, that secret shared in the darkness of the solstice night, that proof that Azril felt for me something similar to what I felt for him, was now on another woman's neck. Time to let go, I thought as I held my breath and walked away.
The noise of the people around me was making me dizzy and I walked aimlessly, looking for air and space. Azriel was coming towards me and I prayed that he wouldn't stop me, but luckily Cassian stepped in front of him and I managed to change my path, walking quickly to where I knew the stairs were.
I swallowed my tears and started down the steps, I had already lost count of how many I had come down to when I stopped to take off my high heels. I struggled against the lump in my throat, I wasn't going to cry, I was tired of crying.
Her name is Gwyn, I thought to myself, Nesta's Valkyrian friend. I laughed at the meaning of it, of course, he would like someone so strong and determined, and she seems to be so sweet and cool. I went down more and more steps, I would have to overcome this, keep the pain inside my heart and be happy, Azriel deserved to be happy, even if it wasn't with me and that shouldn't leave any resentment between us.
I would try, I would try with all my strength not to feel anything else, but it would be a lie if I said that at that moment it didn't hurt like hell and that I didn't feel anything at all, it was getting difficult even to breathe and it had no connection whatsoever with the hundreds of steps that I continued to descend. But I would be a bigger person and not emotional and no one would know, no matter how much I had a complete mess inside.
"Smile Elain, happiness looks good on Azriel and you should be happy for him" - I repeated it dozens of times in my mind and then the tears started to fall, while I felt so small and heartbroken.
I cried all I had to cry as I went down those ten thousand steps, and when I reached the end, I wiped my face and replaced my shoes, staggered to the door. I was startled when I opened it and came face to face with Azriel.
- I can explain. - His face was livid as if he had just come down the stairs. I took a deep breath, biting my cheek as I tried to find the words.
- Everything is fine. - I passed him and started down the street, the cold wind made me shrink, even more, I did not doubt that soon I would be able to hide inside myself.
- Elain - He ran until he reached me. - Please listen to me.
I opened and closed my hands, checking my breath before I turned to him.
- I am a mess, I am still a mess since you left me the night of the solstice. - I started to speak and each word seemed to hit him like a stab. - But okay, no hard feelings. I am happy for you since I can't be happy with you.
- El, it's not what you're thinking. -He took a step forward and his perfume hit me, making me close my eyes and take a step back.
- We fine, Az. - I opened my eyes. - I... I don't wanna be rude.
- No, let me explain. - He tries again, but I'm stepping away.
- I just don't want to talk now, please. - I walked away before he had a chance to answer, and this time he didn't follow.