Work Text:
Stephanie laid out on the couch, feeling the ache of freezing cold clinging tightly to her bones. She was colder out in the common area than she had been in her room. But she couldn’t bear to sit in solitude much longer. At least out here, there was the possibility that someone else would wander in. Many of the Tower residents were insomniacs or suffered from nightmares. Some nights she saw Tony on a rare break from his late-night work binges. Others, she would meet Natasha or Bruce, and sit with them for a cup of tea. Once or twice she had met Clint or Thor. With those two, she was quick to end up in the gym, fighting away the cold with sweat and exertion.
She liked her nights with Tony best. They were always unpredictable. There was always the possibility that he would ignore her, or not notice her; flit in and out of the room, only searching for coffee. Those nights, she was still thankful, because at least she knew she wasn’t alone. But other nights, he would stop and talk to her. Maybe they would have coffee; or watch a show, YouTube compilation, or movie; or play a game; or maybe even sit in silence, just curled up next to each other while Stephanie tried to keep warm and Tony worked on his tablet.
No matter which route they took, Stephanie always felt warmer afterward -- and beyond that, calm, sated, and loved. She never went back to sleep on those nights, when nightmares drove her from her bed. But at least she didn’t feel their effects any longer. Tony had a way of making her feel safe.
He was yet to appear tonight. Which was fine, Stephanie reasoned, pulling a third throw blanket over herself. There was never any guarantee she would see him, or that someone else wouldn’t come in first. Still, tonight she had really been hoping to see him. The chill was worse tonight. Even if Thor happened to return from Asgard tonight and sparred with her, she wasn’t sure that would be enough.
“JARVIS?” Stephanie called softly into the empty room, finally giving in.
“How may I be of assistance, Miss Rogers?” JARVIS answered, after a moment, his volume lowered to match her tone.
“Is Tony awake tonight?”
There was a longer pause. Stephanie knew that Tony was awake if JARVIS was having to wait to answer her. Now it was just a matter of if Tony wanted her to know, and if he wanted her to stay away.
“Sir is awake,” JARVIS confirmed. “He is in his workshop if you require him.”
“Thank you, JARVIS,” Stephanie said, smiling softly at one of his cameras. He may have replied, but she didn’t quite hear it, focused on holding back shivers as she had to remove herself from her cocoon of blankets. She wrapped the heaviest afghan around her shoulders, holding it tightly, and shuffled towards the elevator. It opened automatically for her, but she hesitated to enter.
She had never entered Tony’s space on nights like this. She never sought anyone out. It wasn’t fair to push her problems onto them, especially if there was the potential that she was waking someone up. Even though Tony was often awake, he was usually working, and she would never want to interrupt that, either. Tonight, though, she could not shake the chill, and, God, she needed to. Stephanie needed to see Tony. She stepped into the elevator.
The workshop windows were blacked out when the elevator doors opened again, but when Stephanie approached the door unlocked. She slipped through, relieved to note that there was no screaming music coming from the workshop’s speakers. Tony was out of sight, probably under a car somewhere in the back, or ducked into a supply closet. So Stephanie waited by the door, blanket clutched tightly around herself.
A couch sat nearby. Usually, Stephanie could go right over and sit to wait for Tony. But that was during the daytime when she’d been invited down. She was inserting herself right now, and she wasn’t sure she was welcome. Waiting by the door was safer. Now that Stephanie was still, she could hear movement in the back of the workshop; the sound of a creeper rolling back and forth under a car, accompanied by the sound of a wrench. She didn’t want to call out and startle Tony if he was under a vehicle, but since she stayed quiet, JARVIS chimed in from above.
“Sir, Miss Rogers has arrived.”
A clang echoed through the space, maybe a dropped tool, and then Stephanie heard the wheels rolling again, longer than before. Tony’s head popped up over the top of a Camaro.
He looked her up and down, taking in the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, the long sleeves of her shirt, and her fluffy pajama bottoms. “You okay, Stephie?”
Tony never used her full name, which was fine, but his nickname for her was different than others. Already, she felt warmer.
“Just a rough night,” she called back, though she knew it was obvious that something was different since she sought him out. “Is it okay if I sit down here? I’ll stay out of the way if you’re working.”
Stephanie expected him to say yes, or no, and duck back under the Camaro. Instead, Tony walked around the car, picking up a cloth to wipe off his hands and face.
“Yeah, of course you can. You know you don’t have to ask.” He frowned at her, looking a bit concerned. “You sure you’re okay?”
Tony walked closer, carefully stepping over bits and pieces of projects that littered the workshop floor. Stephanie, despite being given permission to sit, as usual, stayed by the door, shuffling her feet. It still felt weird, even now, coming here because she needed it. She didn’t just want to be down in the lab for company, she needed Tony’s company. Stephanie had never needed him like this before.
Before she could dwell on it further, Tony moved into her personal space. He set a hand over one of hers, pulling it away from its death grip on the afghan and threading their fingers together.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Tony promised her, gently pulling her over towards the couch. “C’mere, we’ll sit a while. J, turn up the heat a little.”
“But your machines,” Stephanie murmured. She knew the workshop had to be cool to keep the technology from overheating.
Tony squeezed her hand, “Don’t worry about it right now. I’d rather you be comfortable. I can fix the machines if I need to.”
He sat in the corner of the sofa, one leg up on the cushions and the other foot resting on the floor. Stephanie let him pull her down to lay against him, and fixed her blanket so that it covered them both as much as possible. Over the blanket, Tony wrapped his arms around her and started to rub her back and shoulders, letting the heat from the friction help warm her up.
It worked, but not in the way Stephanie believed Tony expected. The warmth did help with chasing away the chill on her skin from the air. But it was his company, the care he showed her, that began to warm her bones. Slowly, she relaxed against him, closing her eyes as he rubbed away the tension in her back. Normally, she might feel comfortable enough to doze like this, but the fear of another nightmare kept her awake. But fatigue began to catch up with her. The last several nights had also been fraught with terrors and nightmares. Stephanie was sure it was brought on by the change in weather. Winter always brought trouble for her, and it had already flurried once. Even though the snow hadn’t stuck to the ground, it seemed to stick to her soul.
“I can hear your brain working,” Tony murmured, one hand sliding up from Stephanie’s back into her hair. “What’s going on?”
Stephanie sighed, partly because she loved when her hair was petted, partly because she wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted to answer.
She couldn’t lie to Tony. “It’s the cold,” she murmured. She felt him lift his head, likely to tell JARVIS to turn up the heat again, and she quickly cut him off. “Not in here. Outside. It’s... It’s making my nightmares worse.” Her voice tapered off into a whisper. “I haven’t been sleeping well, and it’s not even technically winter yet,” she lamented.
Tony’s fingers brushed through her hair, helping her stay calm. Stephanie relaxed at the gentle touch, curling up a little more in his hold.
“It’s okay,” Tony murmured. “I mean... You know I know how awful triggers can be. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He pressed a kiss against the crown of her head, into her hair, and Stephanie shivered lightly before relaxing more. He was always so gentle with her on nights when he stayed with her, and she cherished that.
Stephanie sighed, and tipped her head up to look at him, “I still feel like more trouble than I’m worth like this. I’m tired, I’m down... I know it’s not easy for the rest of you-”
“I’mma stop you right there,” Tony interrupted, holding her closer. “You’re no trouble. And who cares if it’s not easy for the rest of us? It’s not easy for you, either, and that’s what’s important so... so... Hush.”
She shook her head, sighing. “Tony, you don’t have to be like that. I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with. I know I bother you a lot down here.”
“You’re never a bother, Stephie. Don’t say that.”
“But I interrupted you tonight. You were working.”
“It wasn’t an interruption. You needed me, I don’t mind that.”
“Of course it’s an interruption! I literally interrupted you, you had to stop what you were doing to come over here.”
“It still wasn’t an interruption! You’re not an interruption to me, Stephie.”
“Tony, that’s ridiculous. What does that even mean?”
Stephanie knew their bickering was pointless. It always was, but she couldn’t back down on this. She knew how much her PTSD was a pain to those around her. It was hard for them all to deal with, not just her.
“It means... I mean it’s... You’re... Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
Stephanie didn’t get a chance to ask what that meant before Tony’s lips were on hers. She didn’t have a second the question that, either. Warmth flooded through her, all the way to her toes, making her eyes flutter closed and chasing off the last remnants of chill deep inside her. She melted in Tony’s arms, even as he released the kiss.
They laid there just a few moments, breathing the same air and basking in the quiet. Stephanie slowly forced her eyes to open again, and she stared up at Tony.
“Oh,” she whispered, the warmth inside her finally deciding to pool in her cheeks. She flushed, and then looked away, ducking her head as she felt it travel through her face to the tips of her ears. “Oh, Tony, I...” She swallowed hard, feeling her eyes sting a little. “I didn’t know...”
“I didn’t tell you,” he hummed, petting her hair again. The gentle touch was such a relief. “Is... Was that okay?”
Stephanie looked up, sharply. “ Yes ,” she gasped, her eyes watering now. “Oh my God, Tony, you... Really?”
“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmured, cupping her cheek with his free hand. “Of course, really. Stephie, I... I care about you.” He wiped away a tear that fell on her cheek with his thumb. “I wanna take care of you, especially when you feel like this. You deserve that, okay?”
It was hard for her to believe him, but Stephanie knew Tony wouldn’t lie to her. Not now, and not about this. She took a deep breath and leaned up to kiss him softly. Now that she wasn’t surprised at the contact, their kisses lingered, gentle and deep as arms wrapped around shoulders and fingers slipped through hair.
“I care about you, too,” Stephanie murmured in one of the moments they paused to breathe.
Tony’s smile was brilliant, and even as Stephanie surged up to kiss it, she longed to draw it. She wanted to hold him in that moment forever.
Warmth seeped deep into Stephanie’s bones, flowing between the two of them as they laid back on Tony’s workshop couch, wrapped around each other. Until, finally, they both slipped off into sleep, projects and nightmares forgotten in the safety of each other.