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Something is very wrong when the Umbrella Academy comes home that day.
Vanya is loitering in the entrance hall like she usually is, waiting for her siblings to come bursting in through the doors all battle-drunk and flushed, ready to brag about their exploits and debate each other about the details; but that’s not what happens.
Instead, they are unconscious – brought in on stretchers one-by-one, knocked out cold.
“What happened?” Vanya shrieks, pacing anxiously while Dad, Grace and Pogo carry them one by one to the infirmary, leaving the others flopped out on the floor in the entrance hall. “What happened?”
“Your siblings came into contact with an unknown substance,” Dad says shortly, not looking up. He drops Allison onto a table roughly. “A gas, which they foolishly inhaled. As of now, they are unconscious, and the perpetrator escaped. We won’t know the effects of this gas until they wake.”
“Oh, no,” she squeaks, jumping out of the way when Pogo carries Ben in. He lays the boy down next to Five on the counter. “That’s bad. What – what if they’re—”
“There is no use in catastrophizing,” Dad snaps. “Restrain yourself, Number Seven, or remove yourself from the room.”
Vanya shuts her mouth, staring at all six of her siblings scattered around – the infirmary isn’t made to hold all of them at once. It’s never needed to before. Oh, God, she thinks, what if they never wake up? What if they’re in comas forever and I’m all alone for the rest of my life?
Dad takes blood samples from them all, and then leaves, marching up the stairs to his study without explanation, though she hopes he’ll be working on some kind of cure.
“Miss Vanya,” Pogo says gently, as she stands there and chews her nails, “perhaps it would be best if you—”
“I’m staying,” she tells him. “I want to be here when they wake up.”
Hopefully, it’ll be nothing. Hopefully, they’ll wake up and be their usual, argumentative selves.
“Very well,” Pogo says. “It’s a little crowded in here. I think I’ll wait in the hall. I trust you or Grace will inform me of any changes?”
“Yes, Pogo,” she says, with a surety she doesn’t quite feel. “Of course.”
“No need to fret, dear,” Mom says calmly. “I’m sure everything will be just fine.”
Vanya frowns at her. “How do you know?”
“I’m optimistic,” Grace laughs, re-arranging some of Luther’s limbs so that he’s in a more comfortable looking position. She goes around and does the same to the rest of them, and soon it looks less like a scene of mass-murder and more like they all decided to spontaneously take a nap.
Vanya finds one of the little stools and perches herself there, watching them nervously to make sure their chests continue to rise and fall. It’s rare that the Umbrella Academy lose – it’s even rarer for them to look this peaceful.
She hops back off the stool, unable to sit still. “Mom? What kind of gas was it?”
“I’m not sure, sweetheart.”
“Well, is it contagious?”
“I couldn’t say. I’d imagine not.”
“Were there civilians infected too?”
“Yes,” Mom says, “multiple civilians were caught up in the fight, and fell unconscious at the same time.”
“Well, where are they?”
“At the hospital,” Mom says patiently.
Vanya huffs, feeling frustrated, useless, lost. She glares at Five’s sleeping face – you would never be able to tell what a rascal he actually is from looking at him in his sleep. He looks downright angelic; that couldn’t be further from the truth. “Wake up already,” she says crossly, leaning over him. “Can you hear me? Huh? You think this is funny? It’s not! Wake up!”
He twitches.
“Mom!”
“Yes?”
“He moved!”
Grace comes over, looking at him closely. “That’s good. Perhaps, he is able to hear your voice.”
She cups her hands around her mouth.
“Five, wake up!” Vanya hollers directly into his ear.
“Argh!” Five jerks awake, gasping, and he tries to sit up very suddenly and whacks his head on Vanya’s. “Wha—"
She reels back, holding her skull, tears pricking her eyes. “Ow!”
“Where—what—” Five stammers, looking around the room wildly, like a spooked animal.
“Five! You’re alive,” Vanya says happily, relief overtaking her. She smiles at him, despite her sore head, but he only stares. “Um, Five?”
“Where am I?” Five asks, narrowing his eyes at her and Mom. “And who are you?”
Vanya gapes.
“Oh dear,” Mom says. “That’s not ideal.”
…
“So you’re saying we’re siblings?” Luther asks, and Vanya massages her skull, trying to remain calm. They’ve gone over the basics so many times already – who knew amnesia turned you into an idiot? At least they’re not questioning their own names. Well – Five looked a little amused, which makes sense.
“Yes,” she repeats testily. “We’re all siblings.”
Klaus opens his mouth.
“Adopted,” she snaps, and he shuts it again.
“And now we all have amnesia,” Allison says. She sighs. “Awesome.”
Diego leans forward eagerly. “So we’re a superhero t-te-team?”
“Yes, you are,” Vanya says. There must be something in her voice, because they frown.
“But not you?”
“No,” she admits. “I’m not special.”
“That seems like a negative way of putting it,” Ben says.
Luther ignores him. “So… what are our powers then?”
“Um, yours is super strength. Try not to break anything.”
“Cool!”
They’re all sitting in a circle on the infirmary floor. Dad says they’re not allowed to be discharged until he finds a way to reverse the amnesia, which means they could be stuck here for a long time.
“Trajectory control, mind control, seeing ghosts, uh, teleporting with math, and tentacles,” she lists off carefully.
“That explains why no one has mentioned that guy over there,” Klaus says. “I was wondering about him.”
Diego recoils. “There’s a g-g-ghost over there and you didn’t think to mention it?”
“I thought we were ignoring it,” Klaus says, throwing his hands up.
“How the hell do I teleport with math?” Five asks, furrowing his brow. “That sounds illogical.”
Vanya laughs, and does her best Five impression. She puts her hands on her hips. “It’s too complicated to explain, Vanya, you wouldn’t understand… it’s the intersection of time and space in the physical realm, manipulating the very threads of reality—”
“Okay, you can stop,” Five says flatly.
“So if you’re not on the team,” Ben asks, “are you like the leader? Guiding us from the sidelines while we fight?”
“No, I just… wait at home.”
“Ah.”
Allison frowns. “Do we even have a leader, then?”
“Well, Luther’s Number One, so he’s the leader,” Vanya says.
“Number One?” Luther looks up blankly. “Really? Huh.”
“We all have numbers,” she says.
“Ah,” Five says, smirking. “I bet I can guess what number I am.”
“We all have numbers?” Ben grimaces. “Cruel.”
Vanya doesn’t tell them that they had the numbers far longer than they ever had names. “Ahaha. Yeah. A bit.”
“What n-n-number am I?” Diego asks.
“Two,” she says. “Luther’s right-hand man.”
She made that last part up. No one ever actually calls him that; but she smiles as Diego brightens and turns to fist-bump Luther enthusiastically. “Epic!” It’s actually very sweet.
“So what’s your number?” Five asks. “Also, should I even ask about the name?”
“I’m Seven,” she mutters. “And uh… we don’t use your real name.”
“Why not?”
Because you don’t have one, she thinks, sweating, and says, “Because.”
“What are you hiding?”
“Nothing!”
“I really must know you,” he muses, looking at her and grinning, “because I can tell you’re lying.”
“Five is your name and that’s that,” she declares, feeling her face go red under his scrutiny.
He leans back after a second, and shrugs. “Fine, I’ll drop it. But I’m curious.”
“Of course. Curiosity is your fatal flaw,” she mutters.
“Is it?” He laughs.
“Well, no. It’s pride,” Vanya says.
“I feel that you’re probably right about that.”
“What’s my fatal flaw?” Allison asks, far too excited.
“Bossiness,” Vanya lies, and the other girl giggles. Vanya stares at her – the sound is so foreign. She sounds so…. friendly. Vanya finds herself beaming too.
“Try and pick up that table,” Klaus tells Luther. “Go on. Do it.”
“Um,” Luther looks unsure, and weirdly, he looks to Vanya, as if she is some kind of expert. “Should I?”
“Sure,” she says. “I’ve seen you lift things that were way heavier than a table.”
“Oh, like what?” Allison says, leaning forward again. “Give us the details!”
“Yeah, I w-wanna hear about all our daring exploits,” Diego agrees.
While Vanya blushes and tries to think of a good story, Luther calls out, “Hey, you were right. This is easy.”
She looks up and he has the table held up with one arm.
“Woo!” Klaus cheers. “Sick! Pick me up!”
Luther, dropping the table, complies, and easily hefts Klaus onto his shoulders. “You weigh nothing.”
“Cool!”
Vanya racks her brain. The others gaze at her, waiting. “So there was this one time at the bank…”
“A bank robbery,” Allison gasps.
“And Five hit a guy with a stapler, apparently…” Vanya fidgets, not used to this much attention. “No, wait, first you used your rumour…”
“My what?”
“Your power,” Vanya amends. “The Rumour. That’s your superhero name.”
“We have superhero names,” Diego breathes. “Tell us!”
“Yours is kinda lame,” she says, pulling a face. “You might be disappointed.”
“What’s mine?” Five asks, nudging her, his face so open and light that she finds herself grinning. “Something to do with time and space?”
Vanya hesitates, her smile freezing. “Uh. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you.”
“If they’re so bad, who c-ca-came up with them?” Diego asks, picking up a roll of bandages and launching it at Klaus’ face.
“Not me!”
“Well mine is cool,” Allison declares. “So how do I use my power? Can I make anyone do anything?”
“Don’t tell her,” Five whispers. “I can already tell she’ll abuse it.”
“Your intuition is correct,” Vanya murmurs back. Then, louder, she says, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be using your power without your memories, your training…”
Allison pouts. “You don’t trust me? But we’re sisters!”
Vanya struggles to form a response to that. Five whispers to her again, saying, “Manipulator.”
“I heard that,” Allison snaps.
“Uh, Vanya,” Ben says timidly. “Can you just clarify – um – tentacles?”
“There’s a portal in your stomach,” Vanya says. Five looks very interested, and starts poking around Ben’s stomach, trying to lift up his vest for a look. Ben bats his hands away.
“I thought I was just having indigestion,” he says. “Tentacle monster in my belly makes sense too, though.”
“Does it really?” Klaus asks, still sitting on Luther’s shoulders. “Well, let’s see it! Let it out!”
“NO!” Vanya shrieks, launching herself in front of Ben. “Do NOT let it out.”
“Oh, okay,” he says.
“I mean it. Whatever you do, do not let it out,” Vanya warns him, her pulse racing. “It’s not exactly… friendly.”
Ben gulps.
“I’ve decided that my power sucks,” Diego yells, frustratedly, after missing Klaus’ head again. He turns to Vanya. “How do I use it?”
She shrinks away. “What makes you think I would know?”
“You’re the only one with m-memories,” he says.
“Well I don’t know anything about your power,” she sniffs. “I’ve only seen it from a distance – you throw something, and it curves through the air. Well – one time you did throw a book at me.”
“What!”
“I was at the top of the stairs,” she says, glaring at him, “and then I fell down the stairs.”
He looks embarrassed, his face flushing dark red. “Uh… I’m r-re-really sorry?”
“Dude,” Ben says. “I can’t believe you did that.”
“I don’t remember it!” Diego yelps. “She could be making it up!”
“I have a scar on my head that proves it,” Vanya says helpfully, and he sinks down.
“Oh.”
“Want me to mind control him for you?” Allison offers wickedly, and Vanya sighs.
“No thanks, Allison.”
“Damn.”
“This is boring,” Klaus announces. “I want to see the rest of this house.”
“Oh, yes,” Five says. “Will you give us a tour?”
“We’re not supposed to leave,” she says. “You’re injured.”
“I’m not injured,” Diego says. “My head feels fine.”
Vanya raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? When’s our birthday?”
“Um.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Wait. Our birthday?” Luther repeats, bewildered.
Vanya opens her mouth—
“Well I’m not staying in here all day,” Five says, standing up determinedly, clenching his fists.
Oh, no, no! Vanya scrambles to her feet, latching onto his sleeve. “Wait, Five, you really shouldn’t—"
Five grins and scrunches his face up in concentration, lurching forward, and Vanya screams as they are both pulled through the portal. Unlike when Five usually teleports with her, it’s not a quick, dizzying burst of energy; this feels messy and painful and when she is finally tossed out on the other side, she immediately falls flat on her face.
Her whole body stings.
“Vanya? Vanya?” Sluggishly, she raises her head, tasting copper. Five’s face comes into focus above her. “Oh, God, sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you with me. Are you okay?”
“Ouch,” she says. “You really don’t know what you’re doing. You should have listened to me.”
She lets him help her into a sitting position, clutching her head.
“Where are we?” Five asks, looking around the dim room. He wipes away a bloody nose.
“Rule number one,” she mutters. “Don’t blink – teleport – if you don’t know where you’re going.”
He looks sheepish.
“And this is Luther’s room,” Vanya says. “All the way on the other side of the house. Nice going.”
“I can try to take us back—”
“NO!”
“Fine,” he says grumpily. “I guess we’re walking.”
“Come on,” she says, slowly getting to her feet. It feels like a massive task. “Let’s go.”
“Can I see my room?”
“No.”
“Where’s yours?”
She gestures to the door as they walk past it in the hallway. “There.”
“I’m looking,” he declares, and shoves it open even as she growls at him to stop.
Her room looks rather pitiful compared to Luther’s.
“It’s… minimalist,” he says. She drags him out and slams the door shut again, and he laughs. “We’re best friends, aren’t we, Vanya?”
She glances at him. “How’d you know?”
“I can just tell,” he says, grinning. “So… you gonna tell me my real name? And why our Dad hasn’t come back to check on us?”
She bites her lip. They approach the stairwell. “You don’t have one,” she admits. “We only got our names a few years ago, and you said you didn’t want one. And Dad’s working on a cure, remember?”
“So before a few years ago…”
“Number Seven,” she says grimly. “Last place.”
“Hmm,” he says brightly. “That’s fucked up.”
She lets out a surprised laugh, covering her mouth. “Uh – yeah. Yes.”
They manage to make it back to the infirmary without being spotted by any man, robot, or chimpanzee, and they discover that there is a key in the lock – they were locked in.
“Oh my God!” Allison squeals when they slide it open. “We though you died!”
“The door was locked,” Luther says.
“You just disappeared!”
“Poof!” Klaus says, miming an explosion with his hands. “Terrifying. Do it again.”
Five grins widely. “Impressive, right?”
Vanya exhales, shaking her head.
“Vanya! Look what I figured out how to do!” Diego throws yet another roll of bandages at Klaus, and this time it curves in the air and nails Number Four directly on the back of the head.
“Wow,” Klaus says.
“Very awesome,” Vanya says, giggling at how proud he is. She likes this Diego – she likes all of her siblings more like this, she realises, and then feels terribly guilty.
Allison rounds on her, her hands on her hips. “Vanya, I’ve been trying to use my powers, and it’s not working!”
“That’s good,” Vanya says.
“It’s not fair. Diego figured out his! Why won’t mine work?” Allison glares hard at Diego, her face twisted with focus and effort like she’s trying to actually use the power of her mind to influence him.
“Um.” Vanya glances between the two of them. “Because it doesn’t work like that. Look, what you—”
Suddenly, she freezes.
She hears footsteps approaching.
“Dad’s coming,” she whispers urgently. “Everyone act natural!”
They look at her oddly.
“Come on,” she says, shoving them into a presentable line. And then she has to drag them into their correct number order, because they don’t remember to do it themselves.
“You said you had no powers,” Five says suspiciously, and Ben also looks confused.
“I don’t,” she snaps. “Now shush. You’ll get in trouble if you talk out of turn.”
They shut up just in time for the key to turn and the door to slide open. Their father regards them coldly. Mom stands behind him.
“Children.” He clasps his hands behind his back. “I have reverse-engineered an antidote for the toxin you inhaled.”
Everyone brightens – it’s good, Vanya thinks, that it’s not permanent. But a secret, shameful part of herself is already mourning these cheerful, new siblings she has, who treat her like an equal. She tries to seem happy too.
And then, as if sensing her difference, Dad’s gaze falls on Vanya. “Number Seven. Why are you still here?”
“I – was monitoring them,” she says, clamming up and feeling herself shrink. She stares at her shoes, her good mood drifting further out of reach. She tries again. “I was just—”
“Your excuses do not interest me,” he says. “Get back to your quarters at once.”
“Yes, Sir,” she says, and feels Ben stiffen beside her.
“Hey,” Luther says. “Vanya didn’t do anything wrong.”
The expression on Reginald’s face is one of shock and anger. Luther never talks back. “Number Seven has no injury, because she is not a member of the Umbrella Academy and so was not on the mission. Therefore, she should not be in the infirmary.”
He turns to her, scowling, and she shuffles out of line to the door, unable to look any of her siblings in the eye. How humiliating, she thinks.
“Can’t she stay while we get the c-c-cure?” Diego asks, and she winces. Stop it, she tries to convey desperately with her thoughts. Shut up. This is normal. You never cared before – why do you have to care today? Why now?
“I believe I have made myself clear!” Dad roars, and Vanya hurries, terror striking though her. “Your sister has no place here – she is not, and she will never be one of you. I will not stand for this impertinence.”
“You can’t treat her like that,” Five says angrily. She tries to makes a cutting off gesture at him, but he ignores her, his jaw clenched. “How dare you!”
Klaus nods rapidly. “That’s so rude!”
“Just drop it,” she hisses to them desperately. “Guys, stop.”
“How dare I?” Reginald yells, completely incensed. “How dare—”
“No way,” Diego says. “You’re our sister!”
“Vanya, how do I use my power?” Allison yells, her face red. “Tell me!”
Vanya’s heart leaps. “No, Allison you can’t—”
“Your insolence will not go unpunished!” Dad steps forward, but none of them back down.
Allison’s eyes are wide. “Vanya!”
“Number Seven, do not even consider—”
Vanya is too afraid, too un-special, too weak. “I’m sorry,” she tells them, her lip trembling, and she takes a step back.
“Vanya,” Five says, his voice bleak. He stares at her.
“Sorry,” she says again, choked, and she pushes past Mom and runs blindly up the stairs to her room, leaving them behind.
She slams the door shut behind her, and then she is alone, in her bland, tiny, white room, and she throws herself onto the bed and cries.
Why couldn’t she have been braver? Why couldn’t she have stood up for herself? Why is she so scared, and useless?
Downstairs, there is more shouting. Eventually, it stops.
Vanya puts her pillow over her head and sobs.
Her siblings stood up for her.
They were so nice.
They cared, they talked back to Dad for her.
They only like me when they don’t remember anything about me, she thinks, desolate. And they’re gonna hate me even more after this.
…
“Vanya,” someone says, and then she is being shaken awake.
She stares up at Five blearily. “Five.”
“Hi,” he says, and then sits down next to her. “So. Amnesia, right?”
She wipes her eyes, confused. Why is he here? Why isn’t he furious with her? “Um. Yeah?”
“Everyone is really freaked out. A whole afternoon – gone.”
“Wait.” She sits up and looks at him more closely. “You don’t remember?”
“Everything from when we inhaled that dumb gas, to when Dad gave us the antidote is like, a complete blur,” he says. “Have you been crying?”
“No,” she lies, her mind racing, and he frowns.
“You know I can always tell you’re lying,” he says, and Vanya’s throat burns.
“Yeah,” she manages to say. “I know.”
“Okay, seriously,” he says, narrowing his eyes. “What’s wrong? Did amnesia-me say mean things to you or something?”
“Um. No.”
“Because I’m sorry if—”
“That’s not it.”
“Did Diego—”
“No,” she sighs, sniffling. “It’s just been… a long day.”
He examines her. “Not for me.”
“Ha. I bet.” Her chest feels hollow and strange. She can’t quite look him in the eye. She keeps thinking about how happy and carefree he was this afternoon. “Can you…”
He hugs her, and she collapses, burying her face in his shoulder. “Are you gonna tell me what’s really wrong?” He asks quietly, after a few seconds, his hand tangled in her hair. He’s not the best hugger, but Vanya has always like the feeling of giving someone a hug more than she has the feeling of being constricted. And he’s warm.
She feels more tears drip down her face, making his shoulder wet. “It doesn’t matter. Everything will go back to normal now.” Everything will go back to normal, she reminds herself again. It’s probably for the best. The day is over, and only she will remember it, and that’s for the best. And everything will be… normal.
That sounds like such an awful way for things to be.
Now that she’s had a taste of the strange alternate world she glimpsed today, going back to normal is going to hurt so much more, she knows.
“It does matter!” Five says. “Even if we don’t remember, something obviously made you upset.”
“I’d rather just forget too,” she says honestly, desperately.
A pause.
“Okay,” Five whispers, relenting.
“Okay.”
Tomorrow, everything will go back to the way it used to be, and the odd day will eventually be forgotten.
It’s probably for the best, anyway.