Chapter Text
"what do you think it was like?" jinsoul asked, vague and with no context to what she was talking about. maybe the movie they'd just finished watching? watching? more like sobbing their eyes out to.
jungeun sighed, knowing this situation way too well, "what was?" if jinsoul liked the answer to the question, jungeun got a kiss. and jungeun never turned down jinsoul's kisses.
"before soulmates." jinsoul got up from jungeun's shoulder, her eyes still teary, "before the world told you who was for you and you just... had to meet people? were people happier?"
jungeun's brows furrowed at the question, why was jinsoul thinking about that? was it because it was her birthday? that was a common thing to think about on your special day. that no matter how great your day was, your twentieth birthday would always be the best. because that's when you would find out who was your soulmate, the person the universe deemed perfect for you, with their name permanently inked onto your sin. still, jungeun hated that jinsoul was worrying about something that was three years away.
"i think people were freer. happier? that's debatable." jungeun's hand went up to jinsoul's cheek, the last tissue wiping away at her red skin. "you would date people and choose who you put your time into. who was worth it, who you thought was your person. not because a name told you so. and in a way, i think we're the freest we can be right now. we can fall in love and understand what it is, what we want with who. because we don't have our mark yet." she shrugged, looking up at jinsoul's smile.
"can i kiss you?"
jungeun's ears went red, "s-suddenly?" she chuckled.
"can i?" jinsoul repeated with a smile.
"that's a stupid question." jungeun muttered as she pulled jinsoul in for a hungry kiss.
now, the two best friends had always had something special between them, a thin line between friendship and love. but most people didn't know that, most people knew them as jinsoul and jungeun, the best of friends. and the few people who knew about how intimate they really were with each other, were never supposed to find out. jinsoul's parents weren't supposed to find out. that's why jungeun had crawled through the window to see jinsoul, because her parents let her invite anyone to her party. anyone but jungeun. that was also the reason jinsoul put her dresser over her door with no lock on it. more than anything else, jinsoul wanted jungeun for her birthday. to be wrapped in her arms.
as long as nobody found out.
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six years later, nothing had changed.
except everything had.
"would you stop that?" jungeun's roommate scoffed, "it's not gonna go away, you know."
jinsoul and jungeun's... friendship wasn't about love, it was just about needing someone to physically comfort them.
"maybe it will." jungeun scrubbed hard on her wrist, just like she did every morning, jinsoul or no jinsoul. she'd pray that the universe would get the hint and that name would go away, but of course, it never did. "if a name randomly appeared on someone's skin fifty eight years ago, it can disappear too. i know it can." she bit her lip in focus.
"stop wasting your time, and come back to bed." jinsoul weakly reached her hand out, drowning in jungeun's bedsheets, "i'm freezing."
"put on some clothes, then." jungeun threw jinsoul a oversized shirt from her bag dirty clothes.
"i don't want your stinky clothes." jinsoul said as she put the shirt on, "i want you to come back here and spoon me."
"i'm busy." jungeun tilted her up, sighing at the kisses decorating her neck, "and you marked me, too."
"it's not like anyone's going to see them. and you weren't too soft with me either." jinsoul sat up, stretching and popping her neck.
"you told me to go rough on you." jungeun rolled her eyes.
"did i? i don't remember much." the girl's ebony locks bounced as she took light steps to the bathroom, "wait, how'd we get home, then? you were drunk as well."
"yeah, yerim drove us." jungeun didn't say anything as jinsoul's hand trailed down her bare back.
"what?" jinsoul's brows furrowed, "she drove us and we didn't die?" she eyed the scratches her nails had left on her best friend's back, making a promise to massage her later to make up for it.
"you don't remember? you kept whispering about kim hyunjin and how your life was wasted because you didn't get to meet him." jungeun chuckled.
"hey, just because your soulmate is an ass, it doesn't mean my hyunjin is. i bet he's tall and hot and angry and damaged and-" she closed her eyes. "wow. hot."
"soul, your childhood trauma is showing." jungeun clicked her tongue.
jinsoul smiled, "and your psychology major is showing. you see everyone's problems but your own."
"at least i can acknowledge that this..." the younger of the two pointed between them, "is a thing. that we aren't just friends. unlike you, who, outside our rooms, this doesn't exist and you're straight."
jinsoul held her breath, "that's not nice. you know i was kidding."
"yeah well, we all have our issues." jungeun washed her face, "don't give me the morning after 'i'm straight' talk. i practically know it by memory, and i was in between your legs for at least two hours."
"whatever." jinsoul huffed, "must suck to be sooyoung."
"you cried when i wasn't your soulmate." jungeun raised a brow, "and when i got mine, you said you'd do anything for it to be you."
"zip it." jinsoul sat on the toilet as jungeun chuckled, "that was a long time ago. before i knew how much of a clean freak you were."
"hey! you wanted to do it in the kitchen and i just? the germs???" jungeun shuddered at the memory.
"you're so lame." jinsoul giggled.
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meanwhile, in the dorms, sooyoung was getting ready for class, not without haseul eyeing her, though.
"you're so creepy." sooyoung squinted, putting on a long-sleeved yellow shirt, "what about this one?" she spread her arms out awkwardly.
"your mom has no taste in clothes." haseul shook her head disapprovingly. "doesn't your mom own a clothing shop or something?"
"yeah, but you know..." sooyoung smiled, pulling the shirt off gently, "we’re not exactly..." she blinked as she carefully folded the shirt, and put it back in a cabinet, not throwing it to the floor like she'd done to the rest of her clothes. this was a gift. yeah, from a mother who had no idea what kind of clothing her favorite (only) daughter liked, but still. "close. not anymore, at least."
"hm." haseul ran her hand through her short hair, only for it to perfectly fall back into place, "seriously, why don't you just let me pick out your clothes?"
"because i know you too well, seul. you're gonna put me in a tube top and tiny little skirts, like that jinsoul girl you had a crush on." sooyoung rolled her eyes, looking through her clothes once again.
"that was one time!" haseul defended, "and it was your first real college party. you needed to have some... spice? pizzaz!"
"yeah, but skirts? in the middle of winter?" sooyoung scoffed, pulling an off-the-shoulder top out of the hangers and slipping it on. "i lost three years of my life that day."
"please? i promise to put you in something tame. dress code appropriate, even." she raised a brow.
"don't worry about it. how does this look?" sooyoung flipped her hair, obviously proud of her simple outfit, white shirt and black pants.
"impressive." haseul said monotonously. "you need some jewelry. and a bandaid."
"on it." sooyoung sang cheerfully, pulling a bandaid out of her clutch and sticking it on her back, on top of the name she learned to hide.
"better." haseul smiled, "now, my silver collection. for the love of god, put some accessories on."
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"dark question, but." the silver haired girl in the passenger's seat started.
"oh no." hyunjin sighed, rolling her eyes.
"wha- i didn't say anything yet!" chaewon looked at the grumpy girl in the driver's seat.
"yet." heejin poked her head out the backseat.
"shut up, this doesn't involve you." chaewon pushed heejin's face back playfully.
"ow! my nose, stupid!" heejin complained.
"anyways," chaewon looked back to the windshield, "what do you think would happen if your soulmate died?"
"that's dark." hyunjin raised a brow, eye trained on the road, "i guess they're dead. what can you do about it?"
"no, like..." chaewon shifted in the seat, "would their name fade? or like, do you get a new one? i think you should get a new one."
"like a replacement?" hyunjin chuckled.
"that just sounds mean, more like a... an 'i owe you one' from the universe? y'know?"
"that could be a movie." hyunjin thought, "the name on a girl's skin changed every year, and they think she just has bad luck, but they don't know she's killing her soulmates."
"why would you kill your soulmate?" chaewon looked at hyunjin with a judgy scowl.
"you're the one who's asking, so you tell me, chae." hyunjin said omnously, squinting, "should i be worried for yerim?"
"come to think of it, today's her twentieth." heejin chimed in, "are you planning something?"
"you guys! don't joke about that." chaewon huffed, crossing her arms like a stubborn child, "and you two have no right to talk about relationships. you've both been single ever since i met you in orientation."
"that's ‘cause i'm waiting for my soulmate." hyunjin shrugged, "once i meet her, though, i'll sweep her off her feet with my charms."
"psh, sure." chaewon rolled her eyes, "and you?" she looked behind to heejin, noticing the oldest girl's tense grip on her bag.
"um... i'm picky." heejin responded, looking to hyunjin for help, who wasn't paying them any attention.
"seriously, why all the secrecy about your soulmates? the both of you." chaewon asked as they parked (or at least attempted to) on the side of hyunjin's favorite bakery, "i get you've been friends for a lot longer than you’ve been with me, but you know i'd keep it quiet. i'm starting to think you guys are those people who are born without them. like jiwoo."
the twitch in heejin's brow didn't go unnoticed.
"we're here!" hyunjin yelled, immediately fleeing from the parked car.
"uh, we should go." heejin smiled uneasily.
"hm." chaewon grabbed her purse, "saved by the bell, i guess."
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"i've never seen cherries on top of a cake before today." heejin said as she walked through the hallways, her arm interlocked with hyunjin's.
"you're in no place to judge, heej." hyunjin smiled, holding a bag of fresh croissants with different things inside, most of them chocolate, "you like custard on your donuts."
"do you really want to start with who was weird food tastes?" heejin asked teasingly, "you prefer plain bread to fancy sushi."
"what can i say? i'm a simple woman." hyunjin shrugged, "wait, where the fuck are we going?" she furrowed a brow at heejin.
"we're going to drop off chae for her cla..." heejin dug her nails into hyunjin's jean jacket, "oh. right, chae's not here." she rolled her eyes.
"should we go to hyejoo in the lunchroom, then?"
"h-no, i don't like the west wing." heejin shrunk as people walked around them, shaking her head dramatically, "i feel like everyone's staring at me."
"why, cause you're an art major?" hyunjin rolled her eyes, "so you're not a super smart science person, whatever. it's fine."
nope. it wasn't because heejin wasn't a science major, it made for a good excuse, though. it was because a certain someone's soulmate hung around these halls. heejin scanned the hall for her, frozen in place until the person she was looking for came into view.
"oh my god!" heejin's competition for hyunjin shrieked at the same time hyunjin was pushed forward, her croissants flying up into the air and dropping to the hall's grimey floors.
"my bread!" hyunjin gasped, throwing heejin's arm off and kneeling down on the floor, brokenhearted as she counted in her head. five second rule, the bread couldn't be saved.
"i'm so sorry!" jinsoul fell onto the floor, picking up the bread, "i wasn't watching where i was going and then you- god, hold on."
heejin only looked down at the two girls, please. please, don't say your names to each other.
"my bread..." hyunjin repeated, but this time sadly clutching her paper bag, the breads filled with lint. "well, this day is a fail."
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jinsoul furrowed her brows, the unknown girl (might she add in a yellow shirt that just said 'MEOW' in white letters, odd) looked on the verge of tears.
so she did what her parents always did to her when she had problems.
"jungie, my wallet." she looked up to her best friend.
they threw money at her.
"you didn't bring it."
"give me yours, then. i'll pay you back."
jungeun looked at her suspiciously but dug into her pockets and threw her the wallet, which jinsoul caught with some difficulty.
"how much did they cost?" she asked softly, trying to match how fragile the girl looked.
"ten." the girl whispered.
"ten." jinsoul nodded, digging into jungeun's leather wallet.
the girl must have seen just how much jungeun had in cash (she doesn't trust credit cards) and decided to make some money herself.
"each."
"huh?" jinsoul blinked.
"the breads were ten dollars each." a wicked smile formed on the girl's face.
"that's a lot of money for bread, were they special breads?" jinsoul squinted.
"morning bread." the girl's grin didn't falter.
"i see." jinsoul nodded, surprised by the girl's ability to bullshit with such a smile, what a scammer, jinsoul thought. "two, four, six, seven." she counted the croissants, taking out one ten dollar bill after the next. she could almost hear jungeun's soul leave her body. "here's your seventy." she held out the money.
"hey, a-are you serious?" the girl leaned away from the money, as if forcing herself not to take it. "i was joking, you don't-"
"take it. since i ruined your day and all." jinsoul shrugged, smiling at the shy hand reaching for it.
"i'll take this." the girl's features were almost cat-like as she held up a ten dollar bill, "i don't scam girls. especially when they're as pretty as you are."
"you tried to scam me a second ago and now you're... who are you?" she tilted her head curiously.
"OH, LOOK AT THAT!" a deep voice squealed, heejin. a girl jinsoul had only met once before that, on their first day. "WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!" the unexplainably panicked girl peeled the scammer(?) off the floor before dashing off in the opposite way jinsoul and jungeun had come through.
"she's hiding something." speaking of jungeun. the girl's brows were furrowed, "batman, i mean. her body langua-"
"jungeun, i'm on the floor and you're worrying about heejin's body language?" jinsoul rolled her eyes, standing up and dusting herself off.
"is that her name?" jungeun put her hand on jinsoul's shoulder as they walked to class, "how come i've never seen her around?"
"i dunno. she's probably an arts major, i've just seen her when i've gone to pick yerim up from class."
"huh. and that girl you bumped into, what happened to hyunjin? i thought you said you'd stick it out and wait for him." jungeun raised a brow.
"i am, she's just pretty, that's all." jinsoul said cluelessly.
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"and then she took me to the wishing well and she said i was her wish." jiwoo giggled. "and popped the question. then we went out for dinner to-"
"that's great, ji." sooyoung said as she flipped through her notes, "really. i'm so happy for the both of you."
"no you're not." jiwoo put her hand on top of sooyoung's hand, "you've been pouting all morning, what's wrong?"
"it's stupid." sooyoung shook her head, "but i just... remember high school? your sophomore year?"
"the year we dated?" jiwoo raised a brow, "how could i forget, i was completely in love with you."
"no you weren't." sooyoung chuckled, "you were terrified of me."
"at first, but then i found what a sweetheart you really are." jiwoo smiled brightly as she pinched sooyoung's cheek.
"stop it, ji." sooyoung turned away, smiling, "i have a reputation, you know. this is why i don't sit with haseul, i don't want to look fragile."
"so you sit with me instead?" jiwoo beamed, "what, because i'm pretty?"
"you're more cute than you are pretty, you look like a baby." sooyoung ruffled jiwoo's bangs.
"i can be cool too!" jiwoo pouted, "juwon is always saying that i'm too young looking. i always need my id when she takes me to the club."
"ugh, juwon this, juwon that. we get it, you're engaged." sooyoung huffed, "talk about that with chaewon, not with me."
"let me guess. high and mighty sooyoung is lonely?"
"i'm not lonely, just... touch deprived." sooyoung admitted awkwardly.
"you know, your soulmate could help with that." jiwoo raised a brow, "i hear that your soulmate's touch feels different, like your senses are heightened? even if you don't know that they are. but i wouldn't know, of course." she shrugged, "since i don't have one."
"trust me, you're not missing out on anything." sooyoung rolled her eyes. "all i get are kiss burns, they hurt like hell."
"maybe if you were the one kissing them, things would be different."
"ew." the thought of being intimate with jungeun made chills go down sooyoung's spine, "never."
"oh, jungie's here!" jiwoo jumped in her seat, waving a hand at jungeun and jinsoul, who came in fashionably late, now with everyone's eyes on them. "jungie! come! sit here!"
jiwoo didn't know who sooyoung's soulmate was, but she knew who was jungeun's. and she was always a bit of a matchmaker.
jiwoo and sooyoung watched jungeun smile and wave back before turning back to jinsoul and saying her goodbyes as jinsoul pointed to haseul, a few rows up.
sooyoung only hid her face, really wishing she'd brought a hoodie as she heard steps come their way.
"hey, jiwoo!" jungeun sang cheerfully, "how are you?"
"great." jiwoo smiled, kissing jungeun's cheek.
sooyoung hissed at the small burn on her skin from the kiss, digging her nails into her palm.
"sooyoung, i know you're tired, but can you at least say hi?" jiwoo joked, not missing how jungeun's smile dropped at the name.
"um..." sooyoung sat up to face jungeun, the younger girl's mouth droopy and her eyes curious. almost cute. "hey."
"hi." jungeun looked down to sooyoung, deciding to not comment on sooyoung's tense hands, "um... is it okay if i sit here?"
"uh, i don't care." sooyoung shrugged, noticing how covered up jungeun was. maybe because of last night? she still looked good though, in a tight black turtleneck top with a brown blazer over it.
"right." the girl awkwardly put her bag down on the seat to sooyoung's right. "sorry i'm late, by the way. did i miss anything important?" she asked jiwoo, uncomfortably sitting down.
"the teacher gave out the schedule for next month, i didn't pay attention, though." jiwoo lied. "copy it off sooyoung's, she took notes."
jungeun looked at the older girl in between them, "can i?"
"fine." sooyoung clenched her jaw, looking down at her notes and flipping to her most recent page.
jungeun took her planner out and went to the calendar, copying the short haired girl's notes, "your handwriting is really nice."
"thanks." sooyoung whispered, "how come you're late?"
"it's yerim's birthday today."
"her twentieth?" sooyoung blinked.
jungeun found it hard to focus with sooyoung's eyes on her, "yeah, we swung by her dorm before coming over here. she's got two o's so far, could be you." she smiled.
"ha. right." sooyoung understood what jiwoo meant by having your senses heightened. she felt compelled to study jungeun's face, delirious and drowning jungeun's rosy scent. "w-wait, isn't yerim a gemini?"
"we thought so too." jungeun nodded, "but her mother lied? about her birthday? she said it was on june 4th, but when we went to go pick up her things, her birth certificate said she was born on march 4th."
"what?" sooyoung chuckled, "that's a strange thing to lie about."
"i thought so too." jungeun leaned away. "thanks for the notes."
"yeah."
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"god, they are stupid." jinsoul shook her head with disapproval as haseul nodded in agreement.
"and so awkward, i want to scream." haseul rubbed her forehead, more stressed for her roommate's inability to talk to the person the universe has deemed perfect for her than she ever was for herself during the SATs.
anyone who spared a glance at the two former rivals for valedictorian of their graduating class (jinsoul won at the end) would think their favorite sports team was losing 0 to 37. nope, just watching their idiot roommates (their words) look around the room, trying to distract themselves from each other. the sight was painful for both jinsoul and haseul, who wished for nothing more than to meet their own soulmates already.
"at this rate, they'll get together approximately..." jinsoul squinted, it'd been three years of the girls knowing about their roommate's reciprocative soulmates, and two years of subtly trying to push them together. somewhere along the way, jungeun decided she hated sooyoung and the older girl returned the sentiment for reasons unknown to both jinsoul and haseul. "never. i say we give up."
"jung jinsoul, former chess club, debate club, and robotics club president? giving up?" haseul teased.
"i feel like i'm watching ross and rachel in season two of friends." jinsoul hit her head into the desk with a loud bang, "ow." she weakly whispered.
haseul looked back to sooyoung, who was trying to stuff her hands into her pants' fake pockets. "what a moron. if i knew wong kahei, i wouldn't waste a second of my time without her."
"well, they technically are together right now, they're just not talking." jinsoul sighed, "kim hyunjin, come save me already."
"imagine your knight in shining armor is a english major." haseul smiled, "getting a degree for a language they already know."
"then i might pull a jungeun and try to erase their name." jinsoul rubbed the name on her thigh.
"god, that's so stupid. isn't she smart or whatever?" haseul asked, leaning into her own desk and noticing just how straight jinsoul sat up, her hair dripping down her shoulders and somehow not cold in that itty bitty tube top. maybe it was the mesh shirt under? haseul guessed it was just for style, though. like the piercing on jinsoul's tongue, god, that must have hurt.
"are you checking me out?" jinsoul smirked, "seul, you know i'm not into girls like that."
"please, me checking you out?" haseul scoffed, not at all affected by jinsoul's teasing, "i think it's obvious who's checking who out."
"me?" jinsoul pointed to herself with an amused smile, "what's there to check out? you're drowning in fabric, i've never even seen your shoulders."
"some of us don't have a body like yours, jinsoul." haseul excused.
"lies!" jinsoul argued, "senior year, prom. that tight nude dress you wore? and you got your makeup professionally done?"
"okay, fine." haseul shrugged, surprised that jinsoul remembered, "but what's the point of dressing up? i'm comfy like this." haseul looked down to her outfit, just a brown plaid dress shirt and some leggings.
"oh my god, look, look, look!" jinsoul tapped haseul's shoulder.
"what is it, what is it?" haseul peeked at the other side of the room, jungeun was talking with sooyoung!
"praise the lord." jinsoul smiled,
“our prayers have been answered!” haseul cheered, before-
sooyoung nodded and took out an- eraser?
"oh." haseul blinked, jungeun took the eraser and scrubbed it on her paper before giving it back to the older girl. then they went back to ignoring each other.
"idiots." haseul and jinsoul whispered under their breaths.
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yeojin looked around the unfamiliar hallways, praying that for once, her internship at the college's office would do her some good, looking for her gateway to see yerim.
and there she was! the blonde haired girl stepped out of the classroom with a scowl and a tight grip on her book bag.
"oh no." yeojin chuckled, chaewon's outfit did not match her mood. she had a sweet and floral spring dress out, but a look as cold as winter that made the crowd part. yeojin noticed the name written on her arm for all to see, as if to show it off.
maybe microeconomics was harder than usual, or maybe a certain girl was being difficult to chaewon. luckily, yeojin had predicted the bad mood and had brought her something to drink.
yeojin took a deep breath before running up to gowon, "wonnie! i was waiting for you!"
"oh, hey." yeojin watched chaewon's face soften as she looked down to her, "what are you doing here, paparazzi? reporting on someone picking their nose?" she patted yeojin's head.
"shush." yeojin playfully punched chaewon, "i'm going to be a real, respected journalist soon!"
"and celebrity gossip is the way to do it?" chaewon referred to yeojin's most recent gig, in some big company that spent all day creating rumors about famous people chaewon didn't know.
"i'm working for TMZ, hon." yeojin flipped her hair, "what are you doing? definitely not working there. in just a few months, i'll be working for the washington post, THE washington post!" sure, she was just getting coffee for arrogant men for now, but it was a start! climb the corporate ladder, haseul had advised.
"yeah, because i'm studying to become a president." chaewon said with confidence, "or a mayor, at least." she shrugged.
"as they say, reach for the moon." yeojin pushed a drink to chaewon, "here, i got you something to drink."
"what is it?" chaewon tilted her head curiously as she accepted the drink and took a sip through the (metal, courtesy of yeojin) straw.
"i didn't know what you'd like so i just got you what i like, a green grape mojito. light ice." yeojin tapped the cup.
"hm!" the political science major's eyes widened as she took a sip, "this is good, where'd you get it?"
"it's a little stand outside the campus, you can't miss it." yeojin recommended. "did you get the cherry cake to yerim?"
"... kind of." chaewon nodded, "i went to her dorm and tried to give it to her, but there were two girls there already, and they wouldn't let me see her, so i just dropped it off there."
"two girls? isn't yerim in a single dorm? she doesn't have roommates."
"yeah, they're some friends of hers. you know, the girl with the nice lips and her goth girlfriend?" chaewon explained, taking another sip.
"you mean jungeun and jinsoul?" yeojin chuckled, "how do you not know them? they're practically yerim's moms."
"that's their names!" chaewon smiled, "they don't like me very much. they first met me when yerim was... nevermind."
"you should check on her. aren't your soulmate senses tingling?"
"tingling?" chaewon chuckled, "i'll go see her in a little. wanna have lunch with me?"
"sure, can we get tteokbokki?" yeojin's face lit up.
"it's a little expensive but... ah, why not?" chaewon agreed.
“yes!” yeojin squealed, “second free meal of the day!”
“hey! don’t be a mooch!” chaewon scolded.
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"yeri?" chaewon peeked into the room after knocking for a whole two minutes, sighing when she saw a familiar silhouette on the purple bed. "god, you scared me."
"hm." yerim whispered, not looking away from the window.
"oh no." chaewon closed the door, "pajamas at three in the afternoon? what's wrong, precious?"
yerim closed her eyes, where to begin? she breathed out shakily, not daring to look at chaewon. "you have to promise you won't get mad."
"yeri, you're scaring me." chaewon tried to joke.
"promise me."
chaewon blinked, "o-okay. i promise."
"promise what?"
"i promise to not get mad." chaewon took a step forward. "what's wrong?"
"it's not yours."
"not mine?" chaewon assumed the worst but tried to push the thought away. but what else could it be?
"i'm sorry, chae." yerim bit her lip as she pulled her shirt up, and chaewon thought right.
staring back was a name that didn't belong to her, a name she didn't even recognize. a name she wished she could wipe off yerim's skin.
"who the hell is son hyejoo?" gowon scoffed.