Chapter Text
Rating: General audiences
1995. 11. 16.
It was time for something to change. Erik knew that, deep down inside. He couldn't go on pretending he wasn't interested in Charles. Pushing his emotions down and down so they would just go away. It wasn't very successful.
The things Azazel had said to him back in Russia were still running around his head like crazy ants. His friend was right. Erik was proud of all his differences.
First and foremost, he was the founding leader of the 'Mutant and Proud' society, or the 'Brotherhood of Mutants' as they called it nowadays. Erik was the spokes-person of being true to oneself, to accept oneself with pride.
Secondly, he was proud of his nationality, his accent, and his European roots. Among all these Americans, he had always stood out, muttering German curses at everyone who might look down on him because of that.
And last but not least he was proud of his religion, his faith, his family's ancestry. It wasn't a light history, considering the events of the past, but it made Erik even more proud.
Considering all of these, accepting that last bit he discovered about himself shouldn't be that hard. But somehow, it still made Erik uneasy. Like that was a bit too much of being a "freak". That there was a limit or something. It was crazy.
Erik was trying to hide under the massive amounts of school-work he had, anything to take his mind off a certain Ph.D. student, with amazing blue eyes. Erik had assignments due soon, exams coming up, so there were plenty of reasons to lock himself away in the library and concentrate on something other than messy-haired Englishmen. But of course, Erik wasn't in luck, as he practically bumped into that specific person he was trying to avoid.
"Oh, hi!" Charles greeted him the moment he got his balance back and made sure he did not drop any of the books he was carrying. "Fancy seeing you here."
Erik could feel his throat closing and his heart making an embarrassing little dance inside his chest at the sight of Charles.
"Yeah. Homework. Stuff. Exams," he mumbled when he found his voice. Damn, his palms were sweating.
Charles just gave him one of his genuine smiles, if he picked up anything of Erik's distress, he didn't let it show.
"I'm working on a paper myself. Mind if I join you?"
Erik looked around like a cornered animal, seeking a way out of the situation. He was probably projecting his anxiety because the smile faded from Charles's face giving place to worry.
"Oh, if you would like to work alone, I understand that too. I don't want to intrude," Charles said quickly.
"No, I mean yes, I mean...," Erik stumbled on his own words and felt his face heating up. "That would be great. If you joined me. As... as friends," he added rather needlessly.
Charles's gentle smile came back. "Great, then. Lead the way."
Three hours and a finished assignment later, Erik was walking back to his building, his heart still hammering in his chest.
This couldn't go on like this. He has to pull himself together and just man up and accept his feelings as Azazel had said.
His dorm room was pleasantly empty when he got back, so Erik just kicked his shoes off, put his messenger bag on his desk chair, and landed face-first on his bead.
Stretching out his powers to feel all the metal in the building relaxed him a little bit, his fidget toys rising from the bedside table to slowly circle around Erik's head. "Uhh, it shouldn't be this hard," he said to himself catching the little metal balls with one hand. It was time for something to change, and it has to start here and now.