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ANAKIN: AGED 9
FIVE MONTHS AFTER REACHING CORUSCANT
They weren’t going to take it out. They weren’t going to take it out.
Qui-Gon had deactivated his slave chip, but they weren’t going to take it out. It took him a while to figure that out, wondering why he hadn't been called to the Halls of Healing. But now he knew, and Anakin felt like he was going to throw up. A long-ago conversation broke through the chaos of his mind, unbidden and unwelcome.
“You’re never truly free until it’s gone, Anakin.” His mother had said, “there will always be someone controlling you. The only difference is who’s holding the switch.
He had promised then, that he would free them both, and they would open up a shop together, and help other slaves too.
How could he now, if he wasn’t truly free?
(It never occurred to him that maybe Obi-Wan didn’t know- or that Qui-Gon had died before informing the Council just where and how he had acquired the boy.)
At least the Jedi were nice, though. And Obi-Wan was great! He even let Anakin eat dessert, though he did draw the line at three brownies. It only hurt a little, because Anakin had sworn long ago to never love a Master, but he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from loving Obi-Wan. There just wasn’t enough love in the Galaxy, and Obi-Wan had so little love for himself that Anakin couldn’t help but to try and compensate. Anakin hoped his mom would understand and forgive him.
Rubbing gently at his elbow where the deactivated chip was placed, he wondered if he’d ever be good enough to be considered their equal, but quickly chased the thought away. He knew where slaves-even former ones-stood in the social hierarchy.
Even if this was to be his life, Anakin mused wryly, at least he was used to it.
—
ANAKIN: AGED 11
TWO YEARS AFTER REACHING CORUSCANT
“No, Padawan, I’m truly sorry, but we cannot go visit your mother,” to his credit, Obi-Wan did look apologetic.
Anakin knew that there was little to no chance of seeing his mom again, but that didn’t stop him from hoping that maybe-. There was no point in asking again, he knew the answer would be the same. Nodding his head glumly, the eleven-year old went back to picking at his vegetables.
There was nothing like this on Tatooine. He thought his mom might like them very much. Anakin supposed it shouldn’t have been such a big shock, with the Jedi always going on and on about attachment, but still. He’d hoped that maybe, just possibly, even if he couldn’t see her again, that they could’ve freed her.
He knew better now. He wouldn’t ask again.
—
ANAKIN: AGED 21
COUNCIL CHAMBERS DISCUSSING ZYGERRIA
“We would like to send you, Skywalker, and Padawan Tano to locate the missing colonists. Would this be alright with you, Master Kenobi?”
Anakin couldn’t breathe. They wanted him to go to Zygerria. He had heard rumors about it, when he was still on Tatooine. Even the most ignorant of slaves knew of the horrors that those who served the Zygerrian Empire seemed to carry with them for the rest of their lives.
Even Tattoine was better than that...that torture chamber. It was a prison carved of gold and drenched in jewels, built upon the backs of slaves. And they wanted him to go to Zygerria.
Flashes of a stinking slug slapping his mother, and of endless hours in a junkyard, with no food or water swam in hurtling sandstorm of his mind.
For some indescribable reason, Anakin was now endlessly thirsty. Every sensation in his parched mouth hurt, and his throat cried out for water.
Fists clenched under his sleeves, Anakin hadn’t even noticed Obi-Wan calling his name until a gentle hand grasped his shoulder. Snapping his head up, he met the concerned eyes of his former master.
“Anakin? Are you alright?” thinly veiled worry tainted Obi-Wan’s accent, and Anakin was struck again with the wondering thought of how much Obi-Wan had faith that he had left his past behind-that he was the ideal Jedi. The last person he wanted to let down was Obi-Wan. He couldn’t let the Council know that he hadn’t fully let go of his history, that sometimes he laid awake at night, still feeling the lingering pangs of hunger and thirst.
Snapping back to reality, Anakin coughed, vocal chords crying out in protest for water.
“Sorry master, just a little thirsty."
Obi-Wan stared at him, skeptical, but pushed no further. Anakin hoped they didn’t notice the way he walked a little too quickly out of the Council Room, in search of some precious liquid.
—
ANAKIN: AGED 21
EN ROUTE TO ZYGERRIA
Anakin nervously fingered his canteen of water, heart beating wildly in his chest. He tried not to think about the mission too much, or about how he was pretending to be.
The mere thought of being a slaver made the small meal he had come dangerously close to ending up on the ship floor.
Obi-Wan seemed to pick up on his unease, and questioned him quietly, not wishing to stir Ahsoka from her nap, or Rex from his reading.
“Anakin? You’ve been on edge ever since we’ve taken this mission, are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
Anakin opened his mouth to protest, to say that he was fine, but Obi-Wan beat him to the chase.
“Don’t say that you’re fine. I can tell you’re not. Ahsoka and Rex can too, and we’re worried for you.” Obi-Wan’s brow creased in concern as he took in just how pale his former padawan looked. The slight tremor in Anakin’s hands shook him to his core.
Anakin was never like this. What had brought it on?
For his part, Anakin debated briefly brushing it off, but talking...might actually do him some good. And at least Obi-Wan knew already, so it wouldn’t be like explaining his entire history to someone who was clueless.
“It’s just... kark this is harder than I thought it’d be , the mission brings up...you know” Anakin gestured vaguely around his elbow, where his slave chip was.
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, looking genuinely confused, “What?”
Anakin stared at him, oh darn was he really going to have to spell this out?
“Well, you know, going to a slave empire coming from Tatooine and being a former slave myself brings up...well, nothing pleasant.”
Obi-Wan nodded, understandingly, before the second half of the statement reached his brain. His eyes widened, and Anakin could feel the unbridled horror and confusion flooding their bond.
What in the world-?
“Did you just say former slave?”Obi-Wan managed to choke out.
Now it was Anakin’s turn to frown, lost at the situation.
“Well, yeah? Don’t you remember? Qui-Gon helped me win my freedom? But we didn’t have enough money to free my mom? Then he took me to Coruscant?”
What the kriff was happening? Surely Obi-Wan didn’t forget he was a slave, did he?
Rex, glancing up at the noise, stared curiously at what was going on. He hadn’t heard the part about Anakin being a slave, but anything that rattled the normally stoic Obi-Wan Kenobi couldn’t be anything good.
For his part, Obi-Wan’s brain finally stopped swirling around the words ‘former slave’ and he was now able to slot the pieces together.
“Are you telling me you were a slave and you didn’t tell me?” Obi-Wan looked like he was about to vomit, and was paling rapidly. “Oh Force. When you said you wanted to visit your mother I- Oh Force. I turned you down.”
Rex swivelled his head to face his general, horror coating his features. His general had been a slave? What was going on?
Obi-Wan looked as if he was having some sort of abhorrent revelation, and he shakily collapsed into one of the chairs.
Anakin stared at him, concerned and so karking confused.
“Y-you didn’t know?”
How had Obi-Wan not known? All these years, he’d thought that the Council, and even his Master sometimes, were deliberately testing him, reprimanding him whenever he winced while saying ‘Master’, or refrained from using the title at all. If they hadn’t known...Anakin didn’t even want to think of what that meant. His world was tilting on its axis, and all he could focus on right now was the guilt, shame, and terror in his Master’s gaze.
Obi-Wan’s eyes were wide with horror and an understanding he didn't want to have.
“No! No, Anakin. I-I didn’t know! Kriff, how could I not have known? I’m so sorry, Anakin, I’m so sorry”
Startled by the onslaught of pain-regret-and I failed radiating from his former master, Anakin reached over, and grasped Obi-Wan’s hands.
“Hey, it’s okay, Master,” Obi-Wan winced at the word, as if it physically stung him, “You were the best master I could have asked for, and you certainly didn’t fail. I-I couldn’t have survived without you, I know that much at least.”
Obi-Wan was gripping his hands back with a bone-crushing ferocity, as though if he let go, Anakin was going to disappear. “Anakin, you cannot- you must know that-that I do not think any less of you for this. You are every bit the strong, brave, loyal boy I taught, and nothing can change that.”
Anakin bit back a choked cry, “Force Master, if I knew you’d get this sentimental on me, I’d have done this years ago.”
“A-are you alright, sir? Going on this mission, I mean,” Rex managed to croak out, the revelation of his general’s past unravelling inside his mind.
Obi-Wan seemed to look even more sick, if that were possible.
“Anakin! You’re going to a slave empire. Hold on, I’ll just tell the Council, and then we can get you out of this mission, I promise , they didn’t know Anakin, we can-”
“Master, master, calm down. I-it’s okay. I can do the mission.” Anakin knew that he, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka worked best together, and besides, “I know the…” a pause here. “The ins and outs of slavery, and how slaves should act. Besides, it’s been what? Twelve years now? I can handle it, I promise.”
“Oh Anakin,” Obi-Wan’s eyes turned sad, and Rex looked as though he really wanted to kill whoever the kark kept his general in slavery. “You don’t have to handle it. You spent twelve years surrounded by people who didn’t even know you were a slave, and I can’t even imagine-” his words caught in his throat here, and for the first time since Qui-Gon died, Obi-Wan felt like crying “what you’ve been through. So really, Anakin, it’s no problem, if you want out. No one would think any less of you for it. And if they did, they would have me to answer to. I perfected my “Angry Jedi Master face while training you, you know.”
Anakin grinned, for the first time since being briefed about the mission, he had the sense that he could do this.
“I mean it, Master. I can do it, trust me.”
Obi-Wan looked like he would very much like Anakin to take this one off, but argued no further, opting for a rare hug instead. Anakin turned his head into his shoulder, and for a moment, they were two halves of a whole.
Finally pulling apart, Obi-Wan, looking like he just bit into something incredibly sour, said, “I’m just gonna-” as he gestured towards his comlink. Anakin waved him off, nodding in understanding.
The Council. They were going to have a fit. He would have laughed if he didn’t know that there were still thousands out in the galaxy not lucky enough to have been freed as he had been.
As Obi-Wan left, Rex stepped up, and hesitated for a moment, before saying, “If you ever...need anything, don’t-I mean not that we wouldn’t have helped before, or that I’m saying you need help, just-”
Anakin did laugh now, and he stood to place a hand on Rex’s shoulders in thanks.
“Thank you. It means a lot.”
Red nodded, and went back to his reading, eyes still looking at his general in worry.
Anakin smiled. It felt as though a weight he hadn’t even noticed was there was finally lifted off his shoulders.
They hadn’t known, but now they did, and they cared
For once, the memory of his scarred past didn’t hurt his throat.
—
OBI-WAN KENOBI: COMMING THE COUNCIL
Obi-Wan stumbled to the refresher, and briefly considered throwing up his lunch before shaking it off. He had more important things to attend to right now, namely informing the Council that his padawan had been a slave, and no one had been the wiser for twelve years.
How had he survived, much less smile and laugh everyday? And his mother-
The thought of Shmi Skywalker sent another bout of nausea through his body. They had left his mother to slavery, and when Anakin had asked to visit her, they had said no. And- and now she was dead, and her blood was on Obi-Wan’s hands. If he guilt upon refusing his Padawan’s request all those years ago, it was nothing compared to the soul wrenching grief consuming Obi-Wan now. How does one live with the knowledge that their child has held something as heavy as slavery on their shoulders for the past twelve years with no one to talk to? With no one to seek comfort from?
Hands shaking, Obi-Wan called for an emergency Council meeting, and within minutes, the faces of Mace Windu, Yoda, Plo Koon, Kit Fisto, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Saesee Tiin, and Shaak Ti filled the blue screen.
“Obi-Wan? Why have you called for this meeting? Is everything alright?” Shaak Ti inquired kindly.
Mace raised an eyebrow at him. No one had called an emergency Council meeting for years.
Swallowing his bile, Obi-Wan reported what he had learned.
“Masters, it has come to my attention that…” Force he really was going to be sick “that Anakin was a-a slave.”
Silence filled the screens until the Jedi erupted in a flurry of questions.
“What? How is this possible?”
“Why were we not notified?”
“How did you learn this?”
“Silence! Listen to Obi-Wan’s story, we will,” ordered Yoda.
Obi-Wan told them what he knew, closing his eyes slightly when mentioned fate of Anakin’s mother.
The Council was filled with horrified quiet. How had they not known ? One of the brightest Knights of the Jedi Order was a slave, and they had not known.
“Troubling this is,” Yoda was the first to speak up “many mistakes, I suspect, have happened during young Skywalker’s padawanship, of which not aware we were.”
Plo Koon gave a slight wince, and asked how Anakin had responded.
“H-he had believed that we were aware of his situation, and so…” the and so he thought we were purposefully ignoring what had happened remained unspoken.
“What about the Zygerrian mission? If Skywalker doesn’t want to do it, we could dispatch someone else. We won’t force him.” Surprisingly, it was Mace who said this.
“He wants to continue with the mission. Says that he knows the ‘ins and outs of slavery’” Obi-Wan really wished that he didn’t.
The grief of the Council was visible on their faces, but they nodded and acquiesced to Skywalker’s request.
“If Qui-Gon were alive I would throttle him,” Mace Windu grumbled, and for once, Obi-Wan was inclined to agree.
“Meditate on how to continue with this information, we will. Spend more time with Skywalker, you should,” Yoda suggested kindly.
Obi-Wan nodded, and ended the call. As he walked out of the refresher, he saw Anakin fast asleep in a chair, and smiled somberly.
Draping a spare robe over him, Obi-Wan squeezed Anakin’s shoulder, and caught Rex’s eye. They shared a knowing look, and without words, agreed to always be there for him. He would never be alone. Never again.
Then, Obi-Wan caught sight of Ahsoka, still napping, and groaned.
Great. Now he had to explain the whole situation to her.