Chapter Text
Laserblast inched down the darkened corridor towards the strip of light, tense, determined and waiting for his cue to proceed. He had to pull this off flawlessly - it was the sort of mission whose consequences would be simply unthinkable, if he were to blow it. He shuddered at the mental image of what the newspapers would say if they ever caught a whiff of this…
No. Think of something else.
For example, he was still dang mad at his team for the way all eyes had suddenly, surreptitiously turned to Silver Spark, the brilliant, but still very new addition to their team, when this mission had first been suggested. She had looked so uncomfortable... Well, it had only made him volunteer all the faster.
Yes, this mission could stab him where it hurt the most, but he could admit to himself that he was nothing if not a thrill-seeker. He grinned a bit and, despite his accelerating heartbeat, inched even closer to the dark curtain that still hid him from view.
The lights went out. He took a deep breath, gripped the curtain and braced himself.
And there was his cue.
He was barely out, when the sudden flash of projectors and the following screaming startled and disoriented him for a second. If it weren’t for his visor, he would have been blinded, he was sure. Even with it, he could barely see anything beyond the columns of brightness lighting the way to his goal and the reflections of the glitter on the floor.
He put on an expression of cool boredom, stretched just a little, for the show, and proceeded confidently to the front stage, doing his best heroic strut. It was easier, he supposed, when he couldn’t see the people around him, for now.
But when he playfully cocked the ankle of his heavy boot behind the pole, just a little, in a way that he knew accentuated the muscles of his thigh even through his suit, and examined his black leather gloves with deliberate care, he found that it was actually not in order to gather his courage, as he’d intended, but in order to tease.
Let’s have some fun then, shall we.
He gave everyone a heroic wave, flashed them his trademark smile, and then in one smooth motion flung off the black leather jacket he’d received before the show, and leaped right onto the pole.
Judging by the shrieks, he had his audience now, if he hadn’t before. So, he went down to business with some of the more basic moves he knew.
The mission was straightforward - there was an elusive high-level supervillain their colleagues had been unable to take down for months now, and their sources said that he’d be in the club that night, making an evil deal. So he had to catch his eye, strike an acquaintance, infiltrate his base, gather evidence, and bust his butt. Easy-peasy.
Cob those two, Foxtail and Greyman! I’ll show them that I’m the best option for this mission, not some newbie! He fumed and spun around the pole like he had something to prove, holding on only on ankles and elbows, and letting the audience take a veeery good look at his assets.
Then, he landed as gracefully as a panther, and tossed his tank top to the ground, just as unexpectedly as the jacket. The crowd went spare.
Too easy.
Well, not that it had been all smooth sailing. He’d almost had a heart attack when the tiny lady called Ginger who owned the club had tossed him a Laserblast costume the very moment he had turned up to ask for a job.
If anyone ever found out that he wasn’t just a buff dude in a stage costume, but the real deal…
No, no, nope, no thinking of that. There’s no room for failure in this mission.
As the accompanying music ebbed a bit, he made a show of considering what he should do next, eyeing the pole, one hand on his cocked hip, and the other scratching just below his helmet. It had the added bonus of allowing him to turn on its scanner in plain sight, before hopping back into action.
His helmet’s sensors (it was the real one, not the club’s cheap fake) quickly scanned the whole place. Very few in the crowd lit up as villains, and only a single one stood out as a negative 8 level.
I got you now, Laserblast thought gleefully as he lazily slid down the pole upside down, legs at a perfect ten minutes to two o’clock. He was nearing the grand finale and it was the perfect pose to hold eye-contact and then wink at his target.
Zero reaction.
Huh?? Laser almost slipped off the pole.
Ah, the dang visor. Phew.
Right, right. Winking wasn’t going to get him anywhere, for once. Too bad, it was one of his most charming acts. Well, in that case, time to try the cheesier, but also very efficient second best.
So he swung back up, thighs tightly gripping the pole, leaned away as far out as he could and sent just the sweetest air kiss at his target.
The reaction was still a bit muted. Well, not unexpected, for a high-level supervillain. And a pretty cute one at that, if Laserblast was any judge. Unexpectedly cute, in fact. He probably had hot people throwing themselves at him all the time.
Well, Laserblast sure wasn’t going to lose to any of them, he thought and smirked as he flowed off the pole and oh-so-casually stuck his thumbs in the hem of his stage pants. A moment later, they landed in the lap of his villain, having missed his face just barely.
You’re mine, villain.
In the audience, one blisteringly embarrassed and utterly confused Lad Boxman nearly imploded on the spot. He knew, he just knew he should have gone go-karting for his birthday, like every year! Dang his supervillain “pal” who gave him this stupid idea!