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« Why did Joliver say I was scary at first?
- I mean, you were the kind of guy who always had a knife on him...
Cosmo sighed, as if Kasha had just uttered the stupidest reply in the history of humanity. It was an usual recreation for them : bickering while doing routine maintenance on the main Ideon cockpit, all at a safe distance from the adults, of course. They wouldn’t get it.
« We lived next to the jungle, the frontier, Kasha. Untamed, unknown wilderness. Of course I needed a knife on me.
- Yeah, sure, sure. Ever used it on anything?
- Flying leeches, for one, he said, a look of grim seriousness on his face.
- Pfft. You needed a knife for those, she said, dismissive. You know you could just pinch them off you, right ?
- It’s good for intimidation.
- Because what giant tigers are really scared of is being shanked by runty fourteen year old the size of its back molar.
- Not just for animals, but for people too.
- Didn’t Bes kick your ass right after we became pilots, she pointed, faking absent-mindedness.
- Hey, don’t we have maintenance to do? »
Kasha grinned, smug after that fiercely fought battle. With a pirouette, she turned to the banged up master console of the Ide and started humming a childish anthem with affected joy. Cosmo muttered to himself, in a loud enough tone that he knew that Kasha would hear him : « It was a draw anyway. »
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« You could have taken better care of it. » Kasha let out, breaking the silence. Cosmo didn’t respond, still focused on his part of the work.
« I mean it, you let so many lights blew it’s a miracle you can still tell what’s happening to the machine.
- I guess. »
Kasha pouted. She couldn’t have hurt his feelings that badly. The Cosmo she’d always known was much tougher than that.
« It’s filthy too. Wait, maybe they didn’t blew, they’re just covered squirrel crap. Hey did you let that shitty brat Deck in here...» she needled, kicking her friend in the shin in a way any other kids would consider quite unfriendly.
« I’m just thinking about what you said.
- About you loosing to Bes ? Don’t worry, you’ll get a rematch when you’re taller.
- No, about, my knife and the tiger. It makes me think about our whole... you know.
- The war. »
Cosmo sighed. To Kasha, it still felt right to call it a war. Maybe to some others on the Solo Ship it still felt right, better than ‘pursuit’, ’flight’, or the more pessimistic ‘death march’. Many had stopped giving it a name already.
He slapped the top of the console.
« Do you think it’s like the knife?
- What, the robot?
- And the Buff Clan is the tiger.
- More like a big red delete-everything button that works only half the time. »
Cosmo muffled his laugh. Kasha couldn’t help but smile and join in. Chortling filled the too-big cockpit.
« We’re like cheerleaders, she joked. Never though any squad would ever let me join but eh.
- I mean that’s why we’re here. Buying time for the big red god-robot to deign defend itself.
- Hey, we’re not completely useless. Remember when we went on strike? Everyone almost died. That taught them! »
Ever-so slowly, the laughter died down. Kasha hogged the pilot’s chair Cosmo sat down on the floor to catch his breath. Tired, he said :
« Man, we were such assholes...
- You mean you were the asshole, she cut. I never did anything wrong in my life.
- Are you sure, he replied with an eye-roll trained by years of, if not friendship, at least familiarity.
- Never ever, god strike me down if I’m wrong. »
Cosmo could feel his face fall despite himself. Kasha froze, knowing she’d said something wrong but not what exactly. Feeling oddly guilty, he let out:
« Stop tempting fate. »
Her mouth twisted, witty retort dying before it could bloom. They couldn’t say it, but they both knew. All the strange, miraculous death that the Ideon had dealt, and it hadn’t even reached it’s full power. How it unconsciously gave them protection but also made them dependent on it. They’d built a world in that embrace, a livable world but one which depended on the whim of a sleepwalking giant.
It was a strange way of living, being both crushed by dread and so used to it.
« Come on, Kasha finally said, putting on the air of annoyance.
- I mean it, Cosmo pushed. I know it’s superstitious...
- Yeah, it is.
- But you’re piloting it too. I know you hate them, but you heard Sheryl and Karala. You know there’s something more to it than just a weird old robot.
- I don’t hate Sheryl.
- You know what I mean... »
Morbidly, they were both happy when the alarm suddenly blared throughout the ship. Sneak attack, stop what you’re doing, everyone to battle stations. Kasha bolted out to go to her cockpit just fast enough too avoid Cosmo jumping on his chair. Briefly taken over by the short rush of adrenaline, he maniacally checked all the systems. Everything fine, they’d both done good at maintenance.
The rush ended, and he was sitting alone in silence, waiting for Kasha to open her communication. Without her chatter, even for so brief a moment, Cosmo felt lonely. He wondered if she felt the same.
Finally, the little screen blared and he heard her voice, just a bit distorted. Trying to let that thought fade, he exchanged all the signal and confirmations that had become routine with time. Then, silence fell again, for longer than usual. The third pilot was late. Cosmo took advantage of the silence to let out :
« Kasha. Do you think we’ll get out of this ?
- What, the battle. » she asked, her voice deformed.
Cosmo took a second to reply.
« In general.
- I mean, it’ll pretty much be just more of the same. »
They stopped to listen to the sound of a platform moving thought the Ide’s metal veins.
« You didn’t answer, said Cosmo.
- We’ll kill them all. I’ll kill them all. They’re not getting out of there alive, she replied in her usual bluster.
- I wasn’t asking about them. »
They heard blurting and static from the communication box. Contact with the third cockpit was fried. Kasha spoke, her words half-mangled by the static :
« I don’t care. I’ll fight to the end. »
The familiar tremors of pre-launch coursed through their whole bodies.
« And so will you, wether you like it or not. »
Right before the Ideon could stand up, Cosmo closed his eyes.