Chapter Text
The moment his nose picked up familiar scents of home Dean felt like he could howl in relief.
It didn’t matter that his fur was wet and matted, or that his back leg was still probably bleeding even as he ran. None of it mattered because he was home. He was finally home.
The mere thought of his cabin, of his bed, his pack, was enough to push his legs to go faster. Run further despite his state of exhaustion. Dean’s ears picked up on the paws trailing after him matching his pace like they always did. No hesitation for even a second.
And then he was passing through the last bit of trees, breaking onto the clearing that housed their pack, feeling elated at being enveloped in the scent of pack and home and family. Finally, in what felt like forever he was safe.
Except he wasn’t.
He wasn’t, because his whole pack stood before him in wolf form, growling at him as if he didn’t belong there. As if he was a threat.
The sight of red eyes and bared teeth made Dean stop in his track, confused but growling back all the same. There was no time for confusion or doubt. If they wanted a fight he had to be ready. It’s all he has known for weeks now after all.
It took only a moment for the huge black body of a wolf to pass him and stand tall between Dean and his pack. His growl louder than the rest, back tense in a way that Dean knew meant he was only a few seconds away from ripping out throats.
The man knew what a sight the other made. Eyes red, teeth bare, fur as wet and matted as his own, but muzzle covered in blood still. Dean remembers how he looked dripping in it. And he knows how he must look now; big and wild. No sight of humanity in those eyes.
He looked like a threat.
He was a threat.
It was only a second. Dean allowed himself only one second to take in the scene before him; his pack, his family, fully shifted and ready for a fight, ready to tear apart the wild wolf that chased Dean out of the woods. Because of course no one was growling at him, if he hadn’t been on fight or flight mode for so long that would have occurred to him right away, but it has been so long. It feels like it has been months since the last time he allowed himself to be human, even longer since he allowed himself to feel safe.
The first row of wolves in front of them leaned forward as if to attack, it was subtle, but it was enough to throw Dean into a panic. Sammy was among them. He can’t let him get hurt.
Words. Words would be good right about now.
There was no time to think, just to act, which is how the man found himself standing on two feet again, stumbling forward on uneasy legs as if he forgot how to use them. One of them was still torn open and bleeding; Dean could feel it even more now that he had to actually put his weight on it.
None if it mattered though. He just had to move; he had to get to Cas before anyone gets killed.
On any other day Dean would have been embarrassed by how he stumbled and fell onto the black wolfs side, clutching onto his fur in order not to fall down; but his leg hurt damnit, and there was no time for that.
The other was still growling under his hands, every muscle in his body taunt and ready for a fight. There was no time to deal with that right now either. Dean knew from experience that trying to calm him down will do absolutely nothing until the others back off.
Instead, he focused on holding onto him, praying it will be enough for now, as he turned his focus onto his real problem at hand. The pack of stupidly protective wolves that need to step the fuck down while their limbs are still all attached.
Oh yes, words, that’s why he’s shifted. He needs to use words.
“Stand down.” Dean tried for it to sound like a command, but his voice wasn’t cooperating after not being used for so long. Clearing his throat he repeated the words, making sure to find Sammy in the crowd. “I said, stand down.”
As they say, second time’s a charm.
No one looked happy about it, but slowly, one by one the wolves stepped back, still tense but no longer growling. It was progress.
“Son of a bitch.” Dean felt relief wash over him so quickly he almost crumbled to the ground. As it was, the only thing keeping him up was a still growling wolf that he was half draped on. If only he could say that this was the first time they ended up like this.
The wolf stepped forward, still growling, still very much ready for a fight; reminding Dean that he wasn’t done yet.
“Oh no you don’t, big guy.” With all the strength he could master, Dean fisted his hands onto tuffs of fur and pulled him back. As expected it did absolutely nothing, but make him feel even more tired as Cas didn’t budge even an inch. The message went through to his thick skull though, as he stopped moving forward. “Stay.”
It came out breathless. He felt breathless. He doesn’t remember the last time he slept, and was so ready to pass out. Not yet though. They were not in the clear yet.
Dean didn’t let himself face plant into the body under him, as much as it just happened. Adrenaline and exhaustion fighting over who gets to rule over him with no regard to the situation that he was in. Because of course.
The feel and smell of wet fur hit Dean like a brick wall as he tried to catch his breath. “You smell like wet dog.“
Some would say that in life and death situations there was no time to make jokes. Dean would argue with that, as it was obviously the best time. Especially if the one you were making fun of couldn’t understand a word coming out of your mouth.
The sound of growling still filled the silence around them, but at least it was from only one source now. Good. That was good.
He knew what he should do now. Get up and walk to the pack, to where it’s safe. Get someone to look at his leg before it gets so infected that someone needs to chop it off. Possibly pass out and sleep for a week.
Cas was still growling though, and Dean knew that the itch under his skin won’t settle until he doesn’t settle as well.
“Come on man. It’s safe. We’re safe. They won’t hurt us.” Standing back upright was a feat in and of itself, but the words fell on deaf ears. Dean let go of his death grip in order to push his fingers through the hairs on the back of the beast’s neck instead. Because that’s all that Cas was right now, he was a beast. An animal led by instinct and rage.
There was only one thing that could make him snap out of it now. Dean knows it, has done it before; but this was different. His pack was right there, they were watching. But did he really have a choice?
Not daring to look up and meet anyone’s eyes, Dean let himself feel the pain that his body was burning with, letting out a whine in response. The sound was broken, full of panic and pain. It was the kind of sound that Dean was raised to never let out. Never show fear. Never show pain.
It was the kind of sound that made the wolf he was still half leaning on stop growling and turn towards him instead. His eyes were still red, but there was some emotion in there now; concern, panic.
“I’m fine. It’s just my leg.” Dean let his hand move to fall on the others snout, scratch between his eyes, and up to the ear that still had a missing chunk of it from one of their first nights on the run. Reassuring.
Cas’s body was still as taunt as a bow string, but he let Dean do whatever he wanted. Just like he always did. It stopped being weird weeks ago. Somewhere between the running and the fighting for their lives, their mutual codependence became just a thing that was.
Dean met Sammy’s eyes over the top of the others head, he was human now too, looking so confused that Dean knew that there will be many questions later.
Now though, there was a big wet nose all in his business trying to sniff out where the pain was coming from. And none of the members of his pack seemed happy with how close his teeth were to Dean’s everything, which would have been reassuring in any other circumstance, but not so much here and now.
Dean just stood still, kept the eye contact with Sammy and, as subtly as he could, shook his head, not daring to talk in fear that it will get Cas’s attention off of him and onto them again. He really didn’t feel like losing any family members today.
Or ever if he can help it.
Turning his attention back to the wolf in front of him, Dean knew the second that he found the wound on his leg because he growled at it. As if growling at a gaping wound will make it stop bleeding. As if he can just fight it like he fights everything that threatens Dean’s life.
It was so ridiculously Cas that Dean found himself laughing despite the situation that they were in.
From across the clearing others looked at him as if he lost his mind.
Maybe he has. Maybe he lost his mind months ago.
Looking back down, his eyes met blue, and there was relief surging through his body again. “Hi Cas.” The words came out barely above a whisper, a breathy exhale, more than a greeting. It got the other to cock his head to the side in confusion, and that was enough. They’re in the clear. “Welcome back.”
If he could have smiled without a grimace he would have. Instead he just passed his fingers through thick fur again before inclining his head towards where his pack still stood. “Come on. Let’s go show them that you won’t kill anyone so I can go find a place to pass out.”
At the words ‘pass out’ there was a whine in answer, but Dean ignored it. The adrenaline was definitely leaving him now, and they can talk later about his choices of words. Preferably when they can both actually talk.
“Hiya Sammy.” Dean tried for nonchalant as the two of them inched forward. From the look on his brother’s face it obviously fell on deaf ears. He didn’t let that detour him though. “What did I miss?” Yea, the smile was definitely more of a grimace, he could feel it.
“Dean-” Sam’s eyes moved from him to Cas, uncertain and still afraid. Which, yeah fair. Seeing Cas at the peak of lost control is not the most reassure thing for anyone, especially if you are on the other side of his glare. Dean had plenty of time to learn that from the moment he was first thrown into that cell. Hell, if things played out differently he would have probably been dead himself.
“I’ll explain everything once I am not dead on my feet.” The growl his words got had Dean rolling his eyes and patting through the others fur again. Physical contact; better to just keep up with the physical contact for now. The move was enough to get a raised eyebrow from Sam and a quiet rumble from Cas. “Don’t start. Give me a day to recover first. I’ve been dreaming of my bed.”
“And your guard dog?” His words were tense, eyes flashing red for a moment as he looked at the wolf in question.
Thankfully Cas was more interested in pressing against him then killing his brother; if the words even registered in his mind at all. Considering that he was still half feral, they probably didn’t.
“I’ll lock him up with me. He won’t be a threat to the pack.“ He let himself look at the rest of the crowd still surrounding him now. “And if anyone even thinks about attacking him,” Dean’s voice boomed louder “they will answer to me.”
He let his own eyes flash as the words hit. The blue may not be as effective as the red, but this was his pack so it had the desired effect. Everyone backed up to let them pass. No one looked particularly happy about it, but they moved all the same. Good.
As soon as he managed to limp his way into his own cabin, the scent of himself and of home still lingering on every surface even if a little stale, it finally felt like he can relax. It has been way too long since he let his own body relax.
Cas must have felt the same way since Dean barely made it to the bed before a gravelly voice spoke into the stifling silence surrounding them. “How is your leg?”
“It’ll heal.” Dean spoke through a yawn, feeling himself sink into the mattress as if in a trance. Damn, how he missed his mattress.
He didn’t even have to open his eyes back up to know that there was a frown of Cas’s face, eyes firmly on him. It’s funny how much you learn about a person when he is the only one you can count on while running for your life, while trying to survive. “Come to bed, Cas.” It was getting harder and harder to fight sleep.
“You said-”
“I know what I said.” Opening his eyes to glare felt like it took way too much effort then it should have any right to take. “We can break it later. One more day won’t make a difference.”
That was all it took for a warm body to be pressed against him, as he let sleep take him willingly for the first time in a long time.
He can deal with everything tomorrow.
He can regret this tomorrow too.