Chapter Text
Volcanic tunnels, long since abandoned, had begun to echo with the sound of tapping carapace on stone and metal. The last living souls to set foot in this domain were chosen heroes, coming together for the greater goal of protecting their worlds from something bigger than themselves, armed with nothing but their custom equipment and a temporary alliance with those who previously committed great evil. Who could know what these latest visitors could mean for the future of this secret location? What intentions would they have?
“Be careful with that microwave oven!”
The Wise Old Crab could only sigh as another crash had occurred shortly after, followed by a half-hearted exclamation of “I’m OK!”. The other hermit crabs responded in turn with giggles or a mocking tone repeating their elder’s words. And they said moving day would be easy…
“And I thought moving day would be easy,” The Wise Old Crab rolled his eyes, gazing at the grander chamber he was standing in, “Giving the former lair of the Mawgu a new coat of paint, some potted plants… it’ll make for a very nice winter cottage. Just as soon as everything is packed in one piece.”
“Are pieces OK?” Another crab had asked, hastily shoveling glass back into the new opening of the microwave.
“Just… find the glue, please,” The elder urged, gesturing with his walking stick, “And we can move the espresso machine over there.”
“ELDER! OH, ELDER!” One particular hermit crab had scuttled into the room in a panic, eyes shaking as he lunged for the elder’s attention, “Come quick, something’s coming!”
“Is it more of that orange goo?” The elder sounded hopeful. That stuff really helped his joints settle when lathered on, “Because as I have said before, that is not dangerous, not anymore.”
“No, it is… it’s…!” The follower had trouble finding their words as another crash cut them off. One big enough to boom through the caverns and almost seemed to shake the ground. Every hermit crab had stopped what they were doing, frozen in shock.
Then came another crash, sounding a bit closer… and followed by laughter?
The Wise Old Crab narrowed his eyes, moving the shaken follower behind him and his walking stick, “....?”
Three more noises blasted forth, each closer than the last, until some natives actively retreated into their shells for protection.
And then… silence.
“Is… is it gone?” asked a scared crab.
The Wise Old Crab continued to narrow his eyes to the reinforced door, not trusting it for a moment. But before he could open his mouth to speak, to answer, and calm the nerves of his fellow islanders, the steel door had been blown open. Hermit crabs cried and fled, running around in a blind panic as something was approaching from the smoke.
Something humanoid, tall, and in some places… curvy .
“Now that , boys, is how you make an entrance,” Beautiful Gorgeous smirked, pleased with the reaction of her arrival, “And such a warm welcome home party, aren’t you just the sweetest~.”
“Such “high” regard from one who let the strongest amongst us do most of the work,” An accented voice had followed her into view, Technus clearly laying on the sarcasm to the woman next to him, “Even without a proper recharge, I, Technus, remain undaunted by the…”
“CUT THE CHATTER, SPARKY!” A loud tone barked to the tall ghost, grumbling as he leaped forward ahead of the previous two. A single eye scanned the room, falling on the monitor in the far corner, “First thing I want now is some of that sweet, sweet height! Sure the hammer’s a plus, but who’s gonna look down at a new and improved Plankton? No one that’s who!” A young hermit crab had stopped to look down at Plankton, amused from his ranting.
Naturally, Plankton nearly bit his claw off, “BUZZ OFF, CRUSTACEAN!”
“ Honestly ,” A tired voice sighed, deep bags under the eyes of Tlaloc as he spread some dust over the shelled child. He didn’t care as the young crab started to hallucinate, seeing nightmarish creatures as it fled once more, “You all… are too loud , and too irritating for long-term endurance…”
“And you’re as engaging as a wet blanket,” Beautiful remarked.
“In the Arctic,” Technus added.
“50 leagues below sea level,” Plankton growled.
“Oh look, there they go again,” The youngest voice had decided to speak, an air of superiority to him as he adjusted his glasses. Dib Membrane couldn’t contain his smirk, “The evil villains can’t get along… must be a day that ends in Y.”
“Shut your yap; you’re in the same boat as us!” Plankton snapped.
“Unlike some people, I’m trying to SAVE my home, not rule over it!” Dib countered, glaring down at the smaller creature.
“Funny way of showing it there, boy,” Tlaloc cut in.
“T-The…!” The Wise Old Crab finally found his voice, taking a wary step back from the five arrivals, “The Evil Syndicate…!”
This had all five antagonists look over to the elder, each with a smirk or glimmer of pride in the fear they created… except for Dib, who looked more annoyed at being lumped together with everyone else.
“Yes, you know us~” Beautiful brushed some hair off of her shoulder.
“But… but the heroes defeated you! The Vessel of Portentia…!”
“Worthless pile of SCRAP!” Plankton huffed, “Falls apart after just one little intergalactic brawl between a giant orange snot bubble. Do you have any idea how long we’ve been up there, floating helplessly in the vacuum of space?! DO YOU, OLD MAN?!” Plankton hopped onto the Wise Old Crab’s claw and grabbed him by his headdress, yelling into his face.
“Too long,” Came Tlaloc’s bitter reply, “Much… too… long.”
“Well, that’s the way the sandcastle crumbles, I suppose,” The Wise Old Crab flicked his claw and knocked Plankton down off of it, gaining some courage against the intruders, “You all know the way back to your worlds, so best be on your way…”
“On the contrary,” Technus snapped his fingers, and electric charges appeared out of thin air, circling whatever remaining hermit crabs that had not fled earlier, trapping them in place.
“We’ve been talking and decided to raze this place of all its valuable technology first. Then, possibly blow it up.”
“Jury’s out on that one,” Beautiful leaned in closer to the Wise Old Crab, faking a sweet smile, “But if you tell us where the high-powered weapons and priceless jewels are, I won’t have to split your shell in two~.”
“No deal!” The Wise Old Crab held his ground, “Heed my words… leave this place now, or else the… the…!” The elder started to stammer. He didn’t think he would get this far, and The Wise Old Crab knew he couldn’t repel the five of them by himself, “The Mawgu will return and remove you himself!”
“The Mawgu?” Beautiful raised a brow, “He should be long gone by now…”
“Unless,” Tlaloc started to have his doubts, “He really has returned to this dimension… that crab’s as crazy as a coconut, but I’m not going to have my skull cracked by such a beast.”
“I’ve never heard of a Mawgu…” Dib was just as skeptical. Sure, the lair they were in was named after it, as were their old weapons… before ZIM and friends destroyed them along with the Vessel of Portentia. Just thinking about it made him angry.
“I’m not surprised,” Tlaloc explained, “The Mawgu is so powerful, so ruthless, even I have heard of him before venturing to this island…” The witch doctor took a step back, “If he’s truly come home, I’m out of here.”
“I, Technus, the Master of Technology, do not fear this Mawgu,” Technus boasted, puffing out his chest, “But understands how threatened you feel, and thus bid you farewell.”
“Yeah, not buying it buster,” Beautiful narrowed her eyes and was about to strike the Wise Old Crab down when a young hermit crab cried out for help.
“Chosen Ones, please help us…!”
That got Dib’s attention, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, “Look, I’m flattered, I really am, but I’m just here to get rid of ZIM. Unless you’re some kind of alien, I don’t really care about giant talking crab people, sooo...” Dib just shrugged. It’s not his problem, after all.
“Hmm, taste like crab, talk like people…” Plankton mumbled to himself. It was then the Syndicate realized he had wandered off to the supercomputer toward the back left of the room, “I might need a few of you for… help , back at the Chum Bucket. Heheheheh…~.”
“Hang on a moment,” Tlaloc and the others moved to join Dib next to the young crab, while Plankton hopped up to the super computer’s keyboard, jumping from key to key, “Chosen Ones, as in plural… I smell a prophecy.”
“No, that’s called, no indoor plumbing ,” Beautiful waved a hand before her nose, earning an amused snicker from Technus, “You think you’d use some of that… hoodoo pocus, to make yourself a shower.”
“Stop your tedious prattle,” The witch doctor cracked his knuckles, looming over the child, “And you… tell me more about this prophecy.”
“Leave the child be!” The elder tried to call them back to him, “He knows not what he speaks!”
“Actually, it seems he does know a thing or two; check this out,” Plankton pointed to what was on screen, giving details of a group of heroes and how they would free Volcano Island from the Mawgu's control.
“Only the Nine can save us from the evils of the Mawgu,” Tlaloc read, “On the day he frees himself from his prison… corrupting all who touch the ooze, yadda yadda yadda…” The bored tone in his voice reflected from the information he found. No mention of his enemy Tak anywhere, just a picture of several heads carved in stone at the bottom.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! ” Plankton yelled in rage at the image, “ IT’S SPONGEBOB, AND HIS BAND OF FOOLS!” Sure enough, SpongeBob was not only clearly represented in the monument, but also Patrick, Sandy, and even Squidward.
“The ghost boy and his little friends,” Technus huffed.
“With Neutron ,” Beautiful sneered, “And… beaver boy.”
“Hm…” Tlaloc stroked his goatee, “That explains how they were able to defeat us… four chosen ones on the same side is a mighty force...”
“Why do they get a statue of themselves…?” Dib grumbled, jealous of the admiration. It should be his face carved in stone, for capturing ZIM and selling him off to be studied and dissected, praised for toppling an alien armada single-handedly!
“I think your fish is in the wrong pot, kid,” Plankton turned attention to the neighboring terminal, leaping over from button to button with haste.
“You’re one to talk,” Dib brushed the comment off, “All of you. Finding out all your enemies are some kind of, super special big deal… sounds like the time you all run back to your worlds, with your tails between your legs… again,” Despite being the youngest of the group, he sure sounded confident in his assessment.
But the longer Beautiful Gorgeous stared at the image, skimming over the file, the more thinking she did. Which led to her breaking out a coy little smile, “Actually… we’ll be doing the opposite of that, thank you.”
“Huh? Why?”
“You all know how long we’ve been stranded there, watching the world so far away from us as we struggled to return,” The spy began before Tlaloc cut her off.
“Felt like ten years… maybe twelve...”
“Well,” The woman started to pace back and forth, “In that time, the heroes think they’ve won… that they’ve nothing else to bother with. Peace returning to all the land… so their guard is down,” She smiled a bit, as Technus was catching on, “They’d expect for us to turn back to where we came from, and try again on our own… but instead, we’ll show them exactly the kind of force the Evil Syndicate is capable of!”
“Here here!” Technus cheered.
“On the condition that we include Tak in our little ploy,” Tlaloc wanted to be clear, “Then… I’m in~.”
Dib weighed his options while the adults rallied together. He wasn’t evil; he was out to save his town from an alien invasion! From the IRKEN armada! If anything, he was more of a hero than any of the so-called heroes he’s met during this whole crazy experience!
“ And you know ,” Beautiful sensed Dib’s hesitation, flicking the sickle-shaped hair spike with a gloved hand as she walked by him, “Green bean’s probably made friends with all those other heroes… which means if they’re on the same side, they’ll help him do whatever he needs to do~.”
“If they’re REAL heroes, then they won’t!” Dib snapped back, “This is MY world, MY town!”
“Really?” Technus nearly held back a laugh, pointing a thumb over to the side, “I don’t see your name on it!”
The lair’s upper levels had gateways that led back to each of their homeworlds, an obvious sign above every one of them. While it was evident some said, “Bikini Bottom” or “Amity Park,” the one that made Dib’s blood boil was the one for his universe.
ZIM’s Town.
Fists shaking at his sides, Beautiful knew she’d rope the kid into staying with them. One less liability… and who knows? He might even be useful in the long run.
“Of all the underhanded…” Dib was seething before speaking up, “ALRIGHT, I’M IN TOO! But to be clear… I am NOT one of you! This is simply a case of mutual goals, and nothing more.”
“Whatever you say to help you sleep at night…” Tlaloc mused.
Right after, a terminal started to light up and charge itself, Plankton springing off of the keyboard onto the pad on the ground, enveloping himself in light. The humans had to shield their eyes from the flash while Technus just watched.
The Wise Old Crab had taken this moment to flee while their backs were turned. He needed to do something… and fast.
“Yes… YESSSS!” Plankton rejoiced, an arc of energy running between his antennas, “The power, IT’S RETURNING TO ME! The energy! The dominance! THE HAMMER TO HIT STUFF WITH!” True to form, an orange and purple hammer was created in his tiny grasp, as his size started to grow, and grow until he nearly tripled in size and kept on going.
“Finally… ULTIMATE POWER IS MINE! HEHEHEHEHEH!”
“ Ahem ,” Technus cleared his throat, as everyone continued to look down at Plankton per usual, “You forget it only makes you the size of a small child, yes?”
Plankton looked around at eye level. Dib was still taller, but only by a few inches, it seemed.
“... SO?!”
“ So ,” Beautiful put her hands on her hips, “Are you in or not, one eye?”
“Pass,” Plankton started to take his leave, tucking his Mawgu Hammer away for later.
“Pass?” Beautiful was actually surprised to hear that from him.
“Really...?” Tlaloc was skeptical, “You, of all creatures… just letting that porous punk off the hook?”
“Oh no, SpongeBoob will feel my revenge, but I’m passing on the whole “teamwork” thing,” Plankton scaled the ladder to the Bikini Bottom entryway and looked down on the others for a change, “I’ve been apart of this Syndicate since it was led by Daddy’s Little Princess’... daddy. Point is, it didn’t work then, it ain’t working’ now.”
“And how would you know?” Dib couldn’t help but ask, “OK, dumb question… but I thought villains didn’t give up because they were too stubborn, or prideful… or stupid; it was one of the three! I’m pretty sure!”
“Hear me now, blimp brain: It’s not worth it, it’s just not worth it!” He gave one last condescending wave to the remaining four, “Goodbye everyone; I’ll remember you all in therapy~.”
And with that, Plankton hurried off through the entryway, so he could head back home and try to take the Krabby Patty Secret Formula for himself, the way it was supposed to be.
“Should we stop him...?” Tlaloc wondered after a moment of silence.
“Let him go,” Beautiful dismissed the single-celled villain with a wave of her hand, taking a seat at the supercomputer and kicking her heels up, “He’ll come crawling back sooner or later.”
“Yes, and in the meantime,” Technus cracked his fingers, “Papa’s got work to do on all these advanced electronics!”
“Aren’t you going to help?” Dib didn’t see Beautiful get up to start forming their new base of operations.
“Sweetie, I’m the leader … which means by default, I’ll be supervising you all to get things right,” The spy just started to file her nails where she sat, not even looking to the paranormal investigator.
“Which by extension means… making sure our movers know exactly what goes where~.”
She passively mentioned the trapped hermit crabs, who were shaking in their shells at the mention of their forced services.
Dib only had one thing to say about that.
“Sweet. Now, about that espresso machine…~.”
The acquired help of a few dozen native hermit crabs could really turn a volcanic base into a cozy lair. The main chamber now had a large table right in its center, technical decorations, and even some house plants were scattered about here and there.
“You know,” Dib had to admit, “All things considered... this doesn’t look horrible.”
“I have an eye for decorating,” Beautiful praised herself, “While your eye is just swollen…”
“I said I’m a part of the Swollen Eyeball, not eyeball swelling!” Dib clarified, shoving his briefcase towards her as proof.
“Uh-huh, sure,” Beautiful didn’t much care to make such a distinction known. His head was already swollen to the size of Jupiter; what else did he want, a medal?
“Security system is online!” Technus’ voice ran over the speakers throughout the lair, “Cameras, traps… the whole cat and kibble!”
“Kit and caboodle,” The humans corrected.
“That’s what I said! Does the powerful, Technus, need to repeat h…” The powerful Technus was cut off when Dib muted the system with one press from the remote.
“Told you we needed that,” He remarked, seeing Technus mouth off to no avail.
“Not bad kid… not bad,” The tall beauty was enjoying the antics some, especially if it meant irking Technus.
“Which in this case means… very bad,” Tlaloc darkly chuckled as he made his way into the main chamber, “And speaking of… I’ve had a moment to confer with the native wildlife of this island…”
“And…?” Dib didn’t see the point of it.
“And after I’ve hexed them, are all looking for that old crab out in the jungle,” Tlaloc finished, washing his hands together as faint traces of pink powder were kicked up into the air, “I prefer not to leave loose ends, where possible…”
“Speaking of loose ends,” Beautiful held a finger to her cheek as if she were thinking, “I believe that’s plenty of time for one end to tie itself up .”
“Hey, uh, kid in the room,” Dib cleared his throat, “Hello?”
“What are you going on about now?” Tlaloc was just as lost, “Unless you mean that insignificant speck called Plankton.”
“Oh, I do, bird brain,” She flicked the doctor’s headdress and snatched the remote from Dib, “I certainly do.”
She unmuted the spectral master of tech, just long enough for him to let slip the information she was waiting for, “... indignation to silence me, I won’t even mention one of the portals activating from Bikini Bottom until you guys unmute the vocal resonance, that is…”
“Yeah yeah, we get it! Loud digital windbag …” The curvy spy was already climbing up the ladder to the Bikini Bottom portal, with Tlaloc and Dib tailing after her.
Each entryway would lead to another room, mostly barren beyond three portals set into the ground. Of the three, one was raised and filled with purple spatial energy, while the other two had lowered onto the floor, out of use for one reason or another.
Technus sparked out of one of the wires to physically join them by the portal, “If it is who I think it is, then that explains the screen,” He motioned to the large monitor toward the back of the entryway, which showed the Chum Bucket restaurant covered in dents like it took a beating.
“Ow… ow… owww…” A defeated, crumbled voice came out of the portal as what appeared to be a flattened mass turned out to be Plankton, slowly crawling forward until his hand hit Beautiful’s foot.
He looked up, giving off an audible crack as she only smirked down at him, feeling as superior as ever, “ Back so soon?~ ”
“Get off my back, woman…” Plankton groaned.
“What even happened ?” Dib asked as Plankton finally righted himself.
“I’ll tell ya what happened… SPONGEBOB HAPPENED! ” He snapped, going on a rant, “ HIM AND HIS OTHERWORLDLY FRIENDS, CHASING ME PORTAL TO PORTAL AFTER THE SECRET FORMULA , I just…!” His tone sounded much more defeated, dropping to his knees and sniveling, “I just can’t take it…! It’s not fair! A BABY SAT ON ME!”
“It’s almost as if you’d be better off with a group of your own to join forces with,” Technus reminded, enjoying the anguish Plankton was showing.
Plankton sniffled and wiped his eye, “Y… you would?” He couldn’t believe his ears.
“Though, we did find ourselves your replacement in the meantime…” Tlaloc mused.
Plankton’s mood instantly flipped, “YOU WHAT?!”
“Don’t be so one-eyed about it,” Dib scolded, “I’ll need whoever I can get to take down ZIM! Even if that means putting up with her “royal” highness!”
“I’ll have my revenge over every Juju in the realm… and every Pupanunu in the village,” Tlaloc swore, making a fist till his knuckles turned white.
“World domination will finally be within my grasp,” Technus mused, sparks of electric energy coursing over him, “All will bow before my electronic might!”
“YEAH!” Plankton chimed in, filled with a new vigor for payback, “NOTHING CAN STOP THE SYNDICATE!”
Beautiful felt the evil intentions of everyone beside her. If her father could lead three others to work together, then she could surely lead five. This would not be like those times in the past. This would be different.
As she gazed at the changing screen, the leader of the Evil Syndicate saw one of their many targets… a pineapple under the sea. It brought a smile to her lips.
“Nothing~.”