Chapter Text
The room was near silent, only the sound of the machines beeping and a young man's baritone voice could be heard as he read a page from the book in his hands as the person on the bed lay there, trying to listen attentively to every word that was read as he clung on to his consciousness.
“I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”
The curly haired man looked up, meeting his lover's gaze as he continued on until realising that the other man was slowly dozing off. He smiled before shutting the book and placing it on the bedside table before tucking his lover in bed properly as a snore was heard. Placing a light kiss on the man's forehead, he walked out of the room, the promise of another visit lingering in the air.
As he drove back to his apartment, he thought about how his life had started to change two years ago. It was gradual, but things had started changing. It began when Atsumu had started to forget about the littlest things, then he started to get more confused. Everyone brushed it off at first, thinking that the setter was just being silly until he started to show less interest in volleyball. The man had lived and breathed volleyball and once he started to show less and less interest in it day by day, Sakusa grew more and more concerned. When the older had started to have more mood swings and seemed to start forgetting things more, he took him to see a doctor. That day their lives changed.
"I'm afraid it's the signs of early on-set Alzheimers."
He remembers that day vividly, how Atsumu had cried as soon as they got home, scared at the prospect of forgetting everything and everyone, scared of not being able to do what he loves and scared of being robbed of his present and future. Sakusa held him, tried to reassure him that no matter what happens he'll be there and so will his family and friends and not once will he be alone. Sakusa held the love of his life as he cried himself to exhaustion and it was only then that the younger had walked out of the room and collapsed on the floor, germs being on the back of his mind as tears flowing down his cheeks as quiet sobs racked his body.
The thought of his lover slowly losing himself broke his heart but he knew that Atsumu needed him most. The thought of Atsumu eventually forgetting him, terrified him to his core. The thought that one day he'll see the blonde and he won't hear that awful nickname come out of his mouth scared him. But no matter what, Sakusa knew that he would never leave Atsumu's side, even if he had to introduce himself every time, he would if it meant staying with him through thick and thin. That day, Sakusa decided that he would never show Atsumu anything but a smile, he would mask his pain and heartbreak behind a smile so that even if Atsumu remembered him, he would remember a happy Sakusa Kiyoomi who loves and cherishes him with all his heart.
Keeping the mask however was a difficult task. Atsumu started to forget more and more each day and the Sakusa will never forget the day Atsumu forgot who he was.
Sakusa had just finished practice at the MSBY gym, Bokuto and Hinata asking after Atsumu and asking whether it was alright for them to visit during the weekend. Of course Sakusa had nodded, not wanting to deny them a visit with one of their closest friends. After separating from the loud duo, he got in his car and drove back to their apartment, the radio playing quietly. He hummed under his breath and once he was parked, he quickly grabbed his gym bag and took the elevator up to their apartment.
It was quiet once he got in, figuring out that Atsumu was probably already asleep. Sakusa made his way to the kitchen and pouring himself a glass of water before heading into their room, no longer needing a shower as he had already taken one in the gym. He smiled at the lump in the bed before crawling under the covers and wrapping his arms around Atsumu, who cooed softly before freezing and climbing out of the bed with a scream. Sakusa turned the lamp on in panic as he looked at Atsumu who was on the floor, eyes wide in panic and was that fear?
Dread started filling Sakusa, his previous good mood vanishing as the love of his life stared at him in fear, flinching as he moved towards him.
"Who are you?!" he shrieked, grabbing the closest thing to him to protect himself. The blonde was shaking in fear, staring at Sakusa as if he was a monster.
"Atsumu, it's me. Kiyoomi." he let out calmly, ignoring his breaking heart and blinking the tears away, instead plastering a small smile on his face in an attempt of comforting the blonde.
"I don't know who that is. 'Samu. Where's 'Samu?" he shouted. Backing further back into the wall, clearly not wanting Sakusa near him. The black haired man took a shaky deep breath before nodding and grabbing his phone.
"I'll call Osamu for you." he whispered, leaving the room to not scare the blonde anymore. He dialled Osamu's number and as soon as he explained the situation, he hung up and sat on the couch, waiting patiently for Osamu to come as he tried to stop the tears from falling. He shut his eyes tightly and counted to ten in his head to calm himself, knowing how scared Atsumu must be at seeing a stranger.
When the doorbell rang, Sakusa wasted no time in opening the door and letting Osamu in. The twin looked at him pitifully before making his way to the bedroom where Atsumu was, Sakusa leaving the twins be as he sat back on the couch. He had half a mind of dialing Atsumu's doctor but opted not to, waiting to ask Osamu for his opinion first before making that decision.
He sat there patiently for who knows how long before Osamu made his way to the couch and sat a small distance away from Sakusa.
"He's asleep now. I talked him down but I don't know if he'll remember you tomorrow, I think we should just wait tomorrow and see." Osamu said, breaking the silence.
"I'll prepare the guest room for you." Sakusa nodded, getting up shakily as he held the tears back and avoiding looking at Osamu.
"I'm sorry." Osamu apologised. Sakusa wasn't sure what it was he was apologising for, but he just nodded, too emotionally exhausted to engage in a conversation with his lover's twin. Once he reached the guest room, he collapsed on the chair and let out all the tears he had been holding.
He never expected this to happen so soon. It had only been three months since Atsumu was diagnosed and Sakusa had been preparing himself for this day but no amount of preparation would help him when he saw Atsumu's terrified face upon seeing him, how the blonde tried to put up a strong front as he shook from where he was on the floor. Sakusa covered his mouth as a loud sob escaped, worried that Osamu might hear him.
Once he had relatively calmed down, he organised the guest room before heading back to Osamu who nodded in thanks and if he saw Sakusa's stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes, he didn't say anything as his heart broke for his brother and Sakusa.
When morning came, Osamu and Sakusa called Atsumu's doctor and the day after, Atsumu was admitted to the hospital.
Sakusa shook his head at the memory as he walked through the front door and headed straight to the bathroom to shower, eager to clean the germs that had accumulated in his body and once he was done, he dried his hair and went straight to sleep praying for a better tomorrow.