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“I won’t disappear ever again.”
Oh-aew doesn’t know long they’ve been standing there, but the hot glare of the sun is no longer beating down on them. The sky is darkening and the ocean breeze feels cool where his once neat and unwrinkled shirt sticks to his sweaty skin. He buries his face into Teh’s shoulder and feels his arms tighten around him, drawing him deeper into his embrace. Oh-aew doesn’t want to let go of him, doesn’t want to leave his arms. His mind flashes back to the sudden disappearance of the hot press of Teh’s chest against his back all those months ago which left him confused, upset and lonely and a choked whimper escapes him. Teh shifts slightly and then his arms fall down and he pulls away, but only enough to look down at Oh-aew.
“We should get going, before it gets too dark and we can’t see in front of us.” Oh-aew removes his hold as well and wipes away the remains of his now drying tears.
“Okay.” He nods and bends down to pick up his backpack to put it on. It’s not heavy anymore, there’s only one lone coconut inside and it isn’t enough to strain his back. Teh stares at him a little longer, eyes wide and shiny and all of a sudden, it's very overwhelming. Oh-aew feels his eyes welling up and before he can try and blink them away, they’re falling down his cheeks. Through his blurred vision, he can see Teh’s face scrunching up and hear his wet sniffles. They stay still for a moment, crying silently, letting everything out. Teh is the first to move. He reaches up and cups Oh-aews face, catching his running tears with his thumbs and smoothing them away. Oh-aew tilts his head to the left, pressing his cheek into the warmth of Teh’s palm.
“C’mon.” Teh’s voice sounds thick with emotion and Oh-aew imagines his does too. When he doesn’t respond, Teh raises an eyebrow and then squishes his cheeks, moving his hands back and forth. Oh-aew finds himself giggling and removes his face from Teh’s reach.
“Okay, okay. Let’s go.” He tugs at his backpacks straps to signal he’s ready and takes a step forward. As they make their way through the tall grasses and thick bushes, Oh-aew glances over his shoulder one more time to where they were earlier. He still feels a bit light headed, it doesn’t feel real, but maybe that's just the exhaustion of running many miles finally kicking in. He turns forward again and follows Teh back up the cliff, squinting at the ground as he goes. It was a good thing that they left when they did, he’s having trouble knowing where to put his feet and the sun isn’t fully set yet, but the darkness is closing in quickly. On their way down, it didn’t take them that long to reach the bottom, but now that his legs are slightly cramping and at any moment he could slip and tumble all the way back to the ground, it feels much longer. He envies the loose shirt and shorts Teh is wearing, climbing a rough path in fitted dress pants and a tucked in button up is not ideal. The coconut presses against his back through the thin material of the bag and it's annoying as hell, he wants to chuck it back down the mountainside and watch it roll out of sight into the bushes. When they reach the bottom of the stairs, it's empty like it was the day Teh recited the words to that song for him and he’s grateful. He doesn’t want to deal with the curious eyes of tourists, he just wants to submerge himself in a warm bubble bath and sleep. Teh has already climbed up the stairs and is leaning against the wall, arms crossed as he watches Oh-aew slowly take two steps at the time.
“I’m tired.” Oh-aew whines and collapses forward into Teh’s chest, forehead falling into the space where his shoulder and neck meet. “I can’t believe we have to walk all the way back.”
“We did it once before.” Teh says quietly, moving a hand up so he can gently grip the back of Oh-aews neck.
“Yeah and you don’t remember how sore you were after?” Oh-aew grumbles and then lifts his head, pushing away from Teh and straightening out. Teh rolls his eyes and moves towards the quiet road, reaching a hand out in Oh-aews direction.
“Shall we?” His lips lift into a small smile and Oh-aew feels his world come to a stop, heart feeling as if it is going to leap out of his chest. When Bas held his hand for the first time, it felt just like this, perhaps even more intense as there were others around him. He remembers being so full of emotions because someone wasn’t afraid or ashamed to be affectionate towards him in public. Something that he wanted Teh to display when or if they ever were together and now that Teh is maybe, just maybe showing that he does feel that way, Oh-aew doesn’t know how to react.
“Oh?” Teh waves his hand in the air, tapping his foot on the ground. “Are you there?” Oh-aew shakes himself out of his thoughts and answers him by starting to walk down the road. Relax, he tells himself and slows his pace down. He hears Teh’s shoes slap against the pavement as he moves to keep up with him, matching Oh-aews pace when he catches up. They walk side by side for a while, arms and hands bumping against each other.
They’ve confessed to each other now, they can hold hands, there is nothing to be afraid of, right? Oh-aews chews on his bottom lip, but before he can do anything, he feels Teh’s hand interlock with his. It surprises him and he stumbles a bit, but with a tug on his hand (from Teh because he’s holding it!!) he’s righted once again. Oh-aew tightens his grip and is glad that their only source of light is the small sliver of the moon and a few twinkling stars because he can feel his ears heat up as each second goes by. Teh squeezes right back and pulls him along, speeding up their movements.
It remains quiet between them for the next five, ten and eventually thirty minutes as they continue walking. The ocean waves are crashing against the rocks below and Oh-aew relishes it, as he does everytime he hears it. Growing up by the beach, he thought that eventually he’d grow sick of the water and sand, but he never has. He could spend sunrise to sunset with his toes dug into the shoreline, watching locals, tourists, whoever crosses his vision splash around in the water. When travel season dies down and it’s only him standing out there, he loves it too. Even now that he’s bound to move into the city, he feels that he’ll always be drawn back to the ocean. A part of him was born by the sea and he assumes that a part of him will also die by it.
He turns to look away from the ocean and moves his gaze to Teh. He’s staring straight ahead, with that satisfied look on his face. Dimples pressed into the sides of his cheeks and lips pulled into a small smile.
But, he thinks, the same way the ocean feels like a home to him, so does Teh. If Teh is in his life, maybe being so far from the ocean won’t be as hard.
By now they’ve reached a more populated area, the long empty road is no longer and instead houses and shops have filled their view. Oh-aew can’t help but wonder if he’s going to let go of his hand. He’ll understand if he does, he’s just happy that he’s beside him at this moment. There are still people wandering around and lights from cars driving by pass over everyone, illuminating them for a few moments before they’re shrouded in darkness once again.
“Where to now?” Oh-aew finds himself asking and Teh stops walking, hands still interlocked. He shifts so he's facing him and smiles gently.
“Well, we have to go pick up the bike with the coconuts. Ma will kill me if I come home without it.” Teh laughs quietly. “Then…” He trails off, shyly adverting his gaze to somewhere behind Oh-aew.
“Then?” There’s a nervous flutter inside of Oh-aews stomach and wills himself to calm down.
“....Then you could come back to my house? It’s kind of late and I know you’ve gone back on the boat when it’s been much later but I’m assuming you’re as tired as I am so…” Teh clears his throat. “Spend the night?”
There is no hesitation when Oh-aew responds with yes and Teh just gives him another ecstatic smile before tugging him in the direction of where they left Teh’s bike and coconuts.