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There weren’t many things Smokescreen was afraid of. Nothing serious, at least. After all, he wasn’t there for most of the war, he didn’t know any of the real horrors.
Most were silly, and the rest were so specific it’s almost impossible for it to happen.
Smokescreen hated being in the middle of rooms when the others were behind him.
That one was probably the most serious, yet most specific.
It reminded him of his last moments awake on Cybertron, the roar of explosions and thundering pedsteps of all the other guards as they ran to join the fight. All but him.
He remembered standing in front of the door, prepared to fight, prepared to finally prove himself.
Then Alpha Trion knocked him unconscious.
Yes it was to give him the Omega Key, yes it was to keep it secret from everyone, and yes it probably saved his life…..but it still hurt. He trusted Alpha, with his life, and he got knocked out because of it.
And if Alpha did it, the very bot who he protected for thousands of years….who’s to say if the situation called for it, Team Prime wouldn’t do the same to a rookie they’d barely known for a few months.
Sometimes he would jump at the smallest sounds behind him.
Smokescreen hated being restrained in any way.
It reminded him of his, admittedly short, time on the prison carrier. Of the bodies surrounding him on all sides, not being able to tell who was unconscious and who was dead.
He was a coward for leaving them all behind.
He also wasn’t entirely truthful when he’d told Optimus what had happened. He may have brushed over some bits…..like how he stumbled upon the torture chamber and the morgue before he’d found the escape pod room.
Sometimes the smell of metal and energon haunted him before recharge.
It also reminded him of his more recent adventure on The Nemesis , which was even shorter, and during which he learned of Alpha’s betrayal and got his mind searched by Megatron himself.
Sometimes he could feel the presence of the Lord of the Decepticons in his head, claws ripping through his memories to find something of use. Some of Smokescreen’s memories were still fuzzy and missing pieces.
Luckily it all worked out in the end and he was able to get the two keys away from the Con’s and trap Knockout in a wall.
Smokescreen hated recharge.
This was probably the silliest and stupidest of them all, fearing something he needed to survive.
He was afraid every time he slept that when he awoke another millions of years would pass. That everyone he loved was dead. That his new home was destroyed and dead.
Or even worse, what if he never woke up again. Stuck forever in a dreamless sleep of which he can never awaken. Never dying but never being allowed to live.
Would anyone even miss him? He was just another fanboy to Optimus, and just another soldier to patch up to Ratchet. Bulkhead saw him as a replacement, Arcee as a screw up, and Bee as just another bot close to his age.
The humans…..they might miss him. Raf might not, and Miko possibly, but she’d probably get over it quickly. Jack….Jack would probably miss him the most, considering all the time they’d spent together. Jack had taught him Earth traffic laws and taken him to scan his earth alt mode. They’d also pranked Vince together, which was fun. But he’d also almost gotten the young human killed when getting the Star Sabre.
So whether anyone would miss him was still up in the air.
But it wasn’t that bad. Not compared to the others.
Arcee had lost two of her partners in brutal ways, almost a 3rd time no thanks to him. Bulkhead almost died thanks to Tox-En, and Ratchet had lost possibly thousands of patients before. Miracle Doctor or no, no medic was perfect. Bumblebee had his voice box torn out by Megatron himself, but still continued to fight, and Optimus had to fight someone he once saw as a brother.
His fears weren’t that bad, he told himself.
Silly little fears. That’s what they were.