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There was a pattern to Xue Yang's life, a miserable, repeating pattern that had haunted him since birth: any time something good happened, something twice as terrible had to come along and balance it out. When he was a small boy, just starting first grade, he won the class award for being the best at math. When he came home to tell his parents and bask in their praise, he found that they had both unfortunately perished in a house fire.
When he was a young boy, just starting middle school, he had his first kiss, only to later get hit by a car and spend the next three months in the hospital. In high school he made it on the local soccer team only to get kicked out of school for 'bad behavior'. A teacher who had it out for him was the one who reported him. He burned her classroom in retaliation.
The day he got his GED, he got thrown out of his flat. Which later burned down . This one was NOT his fault, but he got another mark on his record regardless. It was just his lot in life. Some curse he had incurred as he had passed through the birth canal.
So naturally, when he got the job at Yiling Farms, he was on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. His boss was too nice. The work was too enjoyable, even though the first week saw him coming home to his shit-box apartment too exhausted to do anything other than sink into bed and go right to sleep.
Mr. Wei, Wei Ying, his boss, noticed. And instead of firing him, he asked if he wanted to rent a spare office/room in the barn until he could find something better. This not only meant lower rent but that Xue Yang got to play with all the farm animals whenever he wanted, including Wei Ying’s five year old son .
His first month working on the actual farm, learning the ins and outs of organic farming, went smoothly. Sure, there was this obnoxious fucker who had the hots for the boss's boyfriend who would not shut the fuck up , but Xue Yang didn't want to get Mr. Wei in trouble by burying a body on his property. That, and when he asked about using human fertilizer, Mr. Wei had taken his question seriously enough to explain that toxins in human bodies would contaminate the plants, rendering them inedible. Xue Yang didn’t want to ruin Mr. Wei’s reputation by contaminating his high quality produce, so that was the metaphorical nail in that metaphorical coffin and Su She got to live .
Xue Yang might have a small crush on Mr. Wei. Not in a sexual way, mind you. What was it called when you thought someone was really cool and just really wanted to impress them? Whatever.
It was a Tuesday when the other shoe came down hard on his ass, on the foot of that asshole Su She. Product was missing. It wasn't Xue Yang, but it hardly mattered. Su She somehow knew about his record and blabbed and now everyone hated him. Well, maybe they had always hated him, who could tell?
Xue Yang could tell when he was about to lose his job, but he didn't run from it. Su She might be a coward, but Xue Yang wasn’t. He allowed himself to be called into Mr. Wei's 'office', a messy room in the farmhouse that did technically have a desk, though you would never find it under all the papers.
"I didn't do it," Xue Yang said as soon as he was invited to sit on the couch. Wei Ying sat in the armchair across from him.
"I know. I’m pretty sure it's Su She, but Lan Zhan says I can't fire him until I have proof, or it could bring a lawsuit down on us," Mr. Wei shrugged and reached for a bowl of candies he kept on a mound of paper. Mr. Wei’s five year old son liked them, but ever since Xue Yang had let it slip that he had a sweet tooth, Wei Ying had had one in his pocket every time he ran into him.
"So, what does that mean for me?" Xue Yang asked, hesitantly.
"I'm moving you to sales. You're both cute and intimidating. It'll be perfect. There's a raise involved."
Was… he being promoted?
Xue Yang accepted. He probably would have accepted a job shoveling actual shit if Wei Ying asked him to , but this was obviously preferable.
Except, now something worse had to happen to even things out again.
-
It was his first day on the job at Yi City Farmer's Market. This was one of four farmer's markets in the area and the second largest among them, though Yi City itself was a relatively smaller suburb of Lanling.
Xue Yang showed up on time in his nicest pair of black jeans and his cleanest Yiling Farms shirt. He looked like an asshole, but Mr. Wei thought he could do it, so he was gonna give it his all.
He wasn't alone. His colleague was a girl even shorter than him and twice as mean. "Call me A-Qing," she said in lieu of a greeting. Xue Yang loved her instantly.
"What's wrong with your eyes?" he asked instead of introducing himself. They were so pale, the iris was nearly invisible.
"I'm albino," she said. She was quite clearly not, tanned as she was with black hair just like his. "Where's your finger?"
He grinned. "I left the yakuza." She grinned back.
Then he saw the man four stalls away, across the aisle. The Mushroom Man. The name was so stupid, hung from a banner across his stall. The Mushroom Man himself was so stupid with his stupid mullet hair and his stupid wire-rim glasses and that fucking stupid smile. This, Xue Yang knew immediately, was his punishment. He was going to fail his job.He knew this type. He was going to lose all his customers to the fucking Mushroom Man and his gorgeous face and his hot body, already charming some old lady into buying a bunch of “ freshly foraged mushrooms” .
Xue Yang was shook.
"Good morning!" a middle aged lady with a toothy smile and hair greying at her temples greeted him, pulling him out of his spiral. Xue Yang tried to smile. Mr. Wei had faith in him. He couldn't let him down. The woman winced. Xue Yang winced back.
"Can I help you?" he asked, going all in, shoving thoughts of the Mushroom Menace aside.
"Do you have any rhubarb?"
No, of course not, because it was half a year out of season.
"No," he said, mustering the politest tone he could.
The woman frowned. "None?"
"Absolutely none," he responded. He glanced at A-Qing, who rolled her eyes. "How about some kale?" He winced again, hearing how dumb he sounded. Then he saw the Mushroom Man watching him.
Xue Yang's heart jumped into this throat just as the woman said, “Kale is gross. What about some iceberg lettuce?”
Iceberg lettuce was the most useless vegetable in the world. Mr. Wei didn't even feed it to his rabbits. It was all water.
“Absolutely not.”
She walked away, empty handed, straight into the arms of the Mushroom Man who convinced her to buy some weird mushrooms that looked like an umbrella in a windstorm.
Yeah. Xue Yang was gonna fail. And he was gonna get fired. Again.
The next customers were a young couple about his age.
"Seems a bit steep for carrots," the man said pointing to the sign labeled with whatever price Wei Ying had written on it. Xue Yang glanced at it. It wasn't what he would spend on carrots, sure, but it wasn't that bad.
"Organic," he said. "Locally farmed."
The man frowned. "What if you give me a discount. Buy a bushel, get a bushel."
Xue Yang was not cut out for this. Largely because that is exactly what he would have said, and it made him want to punch this guy. Also because he wanted to tell this man to shove it up his bushel and that wouldn’t do.
"No.”
"Stop that," the woman of the couple snapped. At first, Xue Yang thought she was talking to him, but then she punched her boyfriend in the arm. "I'll take this." She handed him an entire basket load of vegetables and just like that, without doing anything, he'd made his first sale.
As they walked away, Xue Yang glanced over to the Mushroom Man. The man was smiling at him. The man winked. What an asshole. Xue Yang was going to kill him.
"Nice work," A-Qing said, her voice laced with just enough mockery to make it a compliment Xue Yang could take at face value. The couple were over at the mushroom stand now, buying some phallic looking mushrooms. The man was looking at them intently, likely trying to decide if the fungi was larger or smaller than his own dick. Xue Yang knew the ones that looked like desiccated brains were definitely bigger than this man’s brain.
"People were a mistake," Xue Yang informed A-Qing.
A-Qing nodded. "Think of them as marks. Gotta con them into it."
Xue Yang thought about that the rest of the day, trying to approach selling vegetables the way he would have tried to convince kids in his foster home to distract shop workers while he stole whatever it was he needed that day. "It's for your benefit ," he would explain.
By the end of the day, he had talked a curmudgeonly old man into buying the god-awful kale, a kitchen hand into buying twice as much as she was supposed to, and two old lesbians into buying all the apples for their holiday jam making endeavors. The Mushroom Man, however, continued to do better business than him. The mushrooms that Mr. Wei grew with such love and affection just wouldn't move.
"What do we do about these?" he asked A-Qing at the end of the day, glaring over at the Mushroom Man as he did so.
A-Qing sighed. "I'll take the older ones to the senior center and the rest come back tomorrow. We don't usually sell a lot of mushrooms unless Xingchen-ge runs out."
Xue Yang felt his blood boiling. How dare she name that bastard. That asshole. Xingchen and his goddamn mushroom picking ways. How dare she call him Xingchen- ge , like she was friends with the monster .
Xue Yang moved his glare to her. A-Qing rolled her eyes, a reaction Xue Yang was coming to learn she used for just about everything.
Then, just to add to Xue Yang’s irritation, the Mushroom Maniac approached.
“Good afternoon, A-Qing!” he said with a smile like warm butter. “Who’s your new colleague?”
A-Qing shrugged in Xue Yang’s direction, as if to say, “I don’t know, you ask him.” Xue Yang did not want Xingchen-ge to ask him anything. He did not want that smile pointed at him. Too late.
“I’m Xiao Xingchen,” the asshole said. “And you are?”
“Absolutely none of your business. I don’t fraternize with the enemy.” This was a lie because that is exactly what had gotten Xue Yang fired from his job as a janitor at some swanky company.
Xiao Xingchen seemed to find this comment amusing because he had the gall to tilt his head back, exposing his stupid neck and lumpy adam’s apple as he laughed.
“His name is Xue Yang, gege ,” interrupted A-Qing. “Don’t think he’s cool. He’s Wei Ying’s new pet project.”
Xue Yang deeply resented that comment. “Fuck, no! I am a dedicated employee interested in organic farming. Don’t make it weird, A-Qing.”
She raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t.”
“You have an interest in organic farming?” Xingchen asked, gently.
Oh, no. Xue Yang knew what this was. He was trying to get him to spill secrets. Not that Wei Ying really seemed to have any, well, any related to agriculture, it still set off all of Xue Yang’s alarm bells.
“You know, nature and stuff,” Xue Yang said with a casual wave of his hand, as if he could just wave away the topic and make Xingchen leave.
“Yeah, I know,” Xingchen said. “I’m also interested in environmentally sustainable agricultural practices.”
Xue Yang looked at him. Okay, so maybe Xue Yang kinda wanted to hear what Xingchen said. It wasn’t that he had a lifelong passion for this nerdy shit, but after getting the job, Wei Ying had sort of made him see how essential this kind of thing was — and how it was kinda cool.
But he was not going to engage with Xiao Xingchen. He was not. He would not. He —
“I mean, it’s not like it’s hard really. And the quality is, of course, better. Plus it benefits local economies and helps people find jobs. And I’m people, so.”
“So, it’s important,” Xiao Xingchen finished. “I get it. I know Wei Ying’s model puts the means of production back with the people instead of massive corporate farms where diseases spread and wreck communities as well as pollute the land.”
“Yeah, factory farming is killed on the workers, and still uses slave labor in lots of places. Relying on local agriculture helps regulate—”
Xue Yang froze. He was engaging. Jesus. Christ. Stop.
“Anyways. I’m going. Bye.”
He did not run away, no matter what A-Qing said.
Back on Yiling Farms, Wei Ying was surprisingly okay with all the leftover mushrooms. "Yeah, they never sell at that location. Don't worry about it. A-Qing said you did good.”
Wei Ying patted him on the shoulder.
That solidified in Xue Yang's mind. He had to get rid of Xiao Xingchen. He was going to keep this job. Change his luck. And not let this asshole ruin his life.
-
“THIS IS OUR SPOT GEROLD! MOVE OR I’LL BURN EVERY LAST ONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BASKETS!” Xue Yang yelled at the Wicker Man. He was really getting the hang of this farmers market thing.
“JUST YOU TRY, YANG. I’LL LET LOOSE A HOARD OF RABBITS AND WE’LL SEE WHO’S LAUGHING THEN!”
“RABBITS LIVE IN HERDS, HAROLD. NOT HOARDS.”
The shouting went on like this until a market manager came and told Gerold the Wicker Man to move to a different spot on the other side of the market. Gerold shuffled off and by the time A-Qing showed up to help set up, Xue Yang was feeling pretty smug.
Then Xiao Xingchen arrived, wearing a white jacket against the morning cold, little puffs of breath escaping his stupid lips. He had started coming over every weekday afternoon once the market closed to harass Xue Yang and throw him off his game. Xue Yang knew this game. Xingchen was getting in his head.
“Good morning!” he greeted them today with a smile. He tossed Xue Yang a honey caramel from one of the beekeepers. A-Qing, ever the traitor, had told him that Xue Yang had a sweet tooth, and now hardly a day when by where Xiao Xingchen didn’t try to bribe him with candy. Joke was on him, though, because Xue Yang couldn’t be bought and he still got to enjoy the candy .
“Ge ge ,” A-Qing said, that mischievous look on her face. “Why don’t you ever bring me candy?”
Xue Yang rolled his eyes. She was obviously already a traitor. No need to try and sweeten her up.
A-Qing bounded over to chat more while Xue Yang fumed until their first customer showed up. He was a regular who had come by every morning for the past two weeks to roam the market for about an hour, usually spending a good forty-five minutes of that time at their booth, catching up with A-Qing. He was d isgustingly tall and grumpy with a dopey face and a deep voice. More important than him, though, was that he had a dog. Her name was Goose . The man’s name was Song Lan, but that was unimportant. All Xue Yang cared about was Goose, and he was considering abduction.
“Anything new in today?” Song Lan asked while Xue Yang gave Goose some belly rubs. Goose was a Staffordshire Bull Terrier which meant she perpetually had the dumbest grin on her face. It was cartoonishly dumb and Xue Yang would do anything for her.
“It’s November,” Xue Yang muttered. “What do you think grows in November?”
“Nothing?”
“Exactly. Nothing new. Stop asking.”
“You’re not very good at your job are you?” Song Lan asked, ever the asshole.
“I’m busy entertaining your dog. She’s too good for you,” Xue Yang replied. “Look at how sweet she is. Who’s a good girl? Who is objectively the best dog in the universe? YOU ARE!”
Yeah. Xue Yang was gonna steal this dog. She looked up at him with those big brown eyes and he felt his small heart grow three sizes.
“Yeah, I know,” Song Lan muttered. Xue Yang had no idea what he was on about and continued playing with Goose until A-Qing returned, obviously ready to start some shit because the first thing out of her mouth was, “Are you here again? You know, the artisanal pottery booth over there has a MUCH better vantage point for ogling.”
"Fuck off," Song Lan huffed. “I’m not ogling.”
She snorted. “Sure, Jan. Should I print you a shirt? 'Mushroom fucker'? I think it'd be a great conversation starter," A-Qing sneered.
“I’m not ogling Xingchen! ”
“Oh?” A-Qing cackled. “Someone else then?”
Song Lan turned bright red. Disgusting.
"No," Xue Yang snapped from down where he was scratching. Goose gave him a curious look. "Not you. You. How dare you shop at our stall and name that devil."
A-Qing laughed. Song Lan looked at him, skeptical. Or judgey. Or laughing. Honestly, Xue Yang couldn't read his face and that made him hate Song Lan even more. If it weren't for Goose, he would chase him off. Once he stole Goose, that would be easy enough. The last thing their business needed was a beanpole hanging around, gaping at a rival.
"What've you got against Xingchen?" Song Lan asked.
"For starters," Xue Yang said, standing up. Goose whined. Xue Yang immediately dropped a hand and Goose took that as a sign for jumping up to give him a hug. Xue Yang only stumbled a bit.
"For starters," he repeated, "He steals our business."
"Not really," A-Qing lied.
"He's so smug over there with his fucking mushrooms . I bet some of them are drugs. Ugh and his dumb face. No one smiles that much. He should be ousted from the market."
A-Qing snorted again, but Song Lan was looking at Xue Yang, an unreadable expression, which, again, wasn't unusual. Asshole. He also sucked.
“No, I agree,” Song Lan said, finally turning his body away from A-Qing to engage with Xue Yang properly. “He’s always got that sweet face on like he doesn’t have a care in the world.”
“I want to punch it,” Xue Yang agreed. Maybe Song Lan wasn’t that bad, but he still didn’t deserve Goose.
“No, you don’t,” A-Qing sighed. “You are both dumb.”
Another customer came then, and Xue Yang had to leave the adorable dog and his owner to sell some fucking root vegetables. While he was counting change, the idea came to him. He almost accidentally short-changed the customer, that's how startled he was (he usually tried to short-change customers on purpose).
What if he tricked Song Lan into dating the Mushroom Man? If Song Lan and the Mushroom Man started dating, it would solve literally all of Xue Yang's problems . The Mushroom Man would be too distracted by his tall new boyfriend to stay on top of the mushroom game, and Song Lan would be too distracted to notice that Xue Yang had liberated Goose. He would kill two birds with one stone. It was the best solution short of literally killing them.
"Hey, Song Lan," Xue Yang said the moment A-Qing was distracted with another customer. "I’ve got an idea."
Song Lan took the better part of the morning to warm to the idea. Who knew what bullshit job he had that allowed him to spend his morning talking with twink vegetable vendors at the farmers market all day, but he didn’t seem in a hurry.
The plan was this: Song Lan would seduce the Mushroom Man. Xue Yang tried to convince him that corporate espionage techniques would work best, but Song Lan put his foot down about interfering with his business. It didn’t matter. Xue Yang was confident that suddenly acquiring a boyfriend would throw enough wrenches in Xiao Xingchen’s plans to destroy Xue Yang and Yiling Farms that at least one of said wrenches would actually cause damage.
In fact, Xue Yang was really struggling to see what Song Lan was actually getting out of this deal. If he didn’t know better, Song Lan was really just killing time, and had decided vegetable sellers were the best people to kill time with.
A-Qing came back as they were ironing out the details.Her eyes narrowed. "What fresh trouble are you causing?"
Xue Yang was only mildly offended. "None of your business," he snapped.
She watched them a moment longer before returning to work. Song Lan left not long after that, but the next morning Xue Yang saw him approach the Mushroom Man's stall. Xue Yang waved, but Song Lan must not have seen him, because he didn’t wave back. Goose, upon seeing Xue Yang, tugged at her leash a bit, but Song Lan didn’t detour. As he approached the Mushroom Man, Goose in tow, his usual awkward gait on legs too long to be considered practical, shifted from gangly menace to… well, cool . Suave. The way he leaned against part of the counter, the way he created just enough space between them as to be polite, that made the Mushroom Man lean in, closer.
He heard the Mushroom Monster laugh. He saw Song Lan smile.
He had miscalculated.
Xue Yang could hear his heart throbbing in his ears.
He had miscalculated badly .
-
Goose did not come the next day. Nor the day after that. Xue Yang felt sick. The Mushroom Man wasn’t there either. There was no honey caramel. No cute puppy’s tummy to rub. His plan had worked, too well in fact, but for some reason he couldn’t find happiness in it. The oppressive attacks he had suffered for nearly a month were ended in one fell swoop, leaving Xue Yang feeling hollow and… wanting.
"You look disgusting," A-Qing informed him as he sprawled out across the counter of their little booth. It was a cold and rainy day. He was layered up and used to it, but it hardly mattered. "You're going to spoil the vegetables."
"A-Qing. The mushrooms are selling."
She sighed. "Yeah. Because it’s the weekend. They always sell on the weekend because that’s when Xingchen goes foraging. This happens every week, dude. Now get up before you scare away another customer."
"I miss Goose," he whined. Since when did he whine? He sounded like Mr. Wei. Ugh.
"Sure," A-Qing replied, before trying to shove some turnips into his ears .
-
Goose returned two days later with Song Lan attached. Xue Yang immediately abandoned the customer he was helping in favor of taking Goose for a walk.The last thing he wanted to hear was Song Lan talking about his foraging adventures with Xingchen. Yeah, sure, he had been the one to arrange it, but Xue Yang was feeling petty. Song Lan could shoot him as many weird looks as he wanted, Xue Yang wouldn’t budge.
Xue Yang didn't wait to hear Song Lan's reply to A-Qing's greeting of, "Looks like someone got laid." Goose was energetic, despite supposedly having run around the woods all weekend. Xue Yang had to admit the dog was nearly as big as him and definitely stronger as Goose pulled him through the market at breakneck pace, making a beeline for—fuck.
"Goose!" That bespectacled myceli-nerd Xiao Xingchen greeted. "And, is that A-Yang?"
Xue Yang felt his insides combust. No one called him A-Yang. His name was and always would be simply as it was. Xue. Yang.
"Traitor," Xue Yang hissed at Goose as she finally pulled free of Xue Yang's rope-burned hands and jumped against Xingchen's body for a hug. Maybe Xue Yang could burn the stall down.
"You're in a new spot today," he commented instead, narrowing his eyes.
Xiao Xingchen smiled as he scratched the top of Goose's head. "Yeah! The organizers moved me over here. They said it was better for the flow of traffic."
Yeah, because all the grannies gathered around Xingchen like he was their messiah. Xingchen was now positioned at the very end of the long chain of stalls that made up the market, ensuring that his following of geriatrics would have to make their way past countless other shopping opportunities before greeting their favorite surrogate grandson. If Xue Yang didn't hate Xiao Xingchen so much, he would have agreed with the strategy. Right now, however, he was calculating the potential damage a fire in Xingchen's stall would cause to the market as a whole.
It was also unfair that Goose had apparently spent all weekend with Xingchen and not Xue Yang and still wanted to go back for more of Xingchen's attention.
Xue Yang could feel a twang in his brain as he finally snapped.
"He doesn't even really like you, you know," Xue Yang said, trying to sound malicious but worried he really just sounded like he was about to cry. "Song Lan."
Xiao Xingchen looked up at him, a puzzled look on his face.
"We made a plan. He would take you out, so you'd be distracted and your business would fail."
Xiao Xingchen smiled. "I know."
"What?" Xue Yang felt like his blood had turned to ice. All that raw, combustive energy had been used up and now he’d frozen over.
Goose, startled by this change, hopped down onto all fours again and turned to face Xue Yang with that dumb, dopey grin. She bounded back to Xue Yang, nearly knocking him over with a well-meaning headbutt. Oh, now you're my friend , Xue Yang thought bitterly. He still scr itched behind Goose's ears.
"Yeah, Song Lan told me over the weekend.Well, and A-Qing told me last week."
"And you're just… okay with that!?" he could barely choke the words out.
"He said he needed that little extra excuse to bridge the gap and come talk to me. I'm actually grateful, funny enough."
Xiao Xingchen was, in addition to being an excellent mushroom forager and salesman, a fucking saint. Xue Yang felt rage boiling through his insides.
Xue Yang's head was fuzzy, buzzing with who fucking knew what chemicals. Bees. Mycelium. He was dying and this was a fever dream. He'd lost his touch so utterly, so completely. At least, at this time of day, this part of the market was nearly empty. No one was here to see his shame. No one was here to see his eventual arson.
"Actually," Xiao Xingchen said, cutting through the noise of Xue Yang's head. "I've been wanting to talk to you. It was something A-Qing said..."
The buzzing was getting louder, drowning out all other sound.
"You see," Xiao Xingchen was saying, his sweet, soft voice somehow cutting through everything else. Xue Yang's hand twitched towards the matches in his pocket. "Song Lan is wonderful, and I'm grateful that you were the catalyst that finally pushed him into my life—I don't want you to think that I'm not grateful—but you’ve been so good to me, A-Yang, and I don’t want you to feel that this changes my feelings for you . "
Xue Yang’s brain, already having snapped, combusted, and frozen over, finally collapsed into a black hole. It was the only way to explain the void that opened between his ears as he tried to make sense of what was coming out of Xingchen’s mouth. There were words. The words themselves made sense, but the phrases they composed lost all meaning. It was maddening. Overwhelming. All the fire in the world would not be enough to fill that void.
So, Xue Yang turned and ran. Goose barked twice, then followed suit.
-
Goose followed Xue Yang all the way back to Yiling Farms. Xue Yang didn't notice until he was ready to slam the door behind him. It had taken him the rest of the day and evening to make it home, and now who knew what time it was. His brain had been a black hole the whole way, and it was a miracle he remembered how to get back to the farm at all.
"Shit," he muttered. Goose looked at him, worry in those big brown eyes. Xue Yang felt his heart melt a bit and he held the door wide open for the dog to bark once and run in. Goose plopped down on Xue Yang's bed, her tail beating dust out of the mattress. Xue Yang found a bowl and filled it with water. He had no dog food, as he had not planned to actually commit dog theft today.
"I fucked up again, Goose," he said, flopping down next to the dog. Goose immediately began to crawl towards him. "At least there's you, huh baby?"
Goose gave him a lopsided grin.
It was so late now. A-Qing undoubtedly had already returned the van and left for the day. That meant Xue Yang could have a night to process what the fuck had happened and play with Goose before he had to face any consequences for his actions. His phone was dead and he didn't bother to plug it in. He was not expecting a knock on his door. He was doubly not expecting it to be his boss and landlord.
"Oh good, it is you," Wei Ying said cheerfully when Xue Yang opened the door. "A-Qing said you disappeared and then your light was on. She was wondering if you'd been 'abducted by the yakuza' to which I said 'huh' and she mimed your hand. Xue Yang, if you're in trouble with organized crime, that’s fine, but you need to let me know so I'm not putting your face out in public."
Xue Yang opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, because for once in his life, he had no comeback.
"Can I come in?" Wei Ying asked, like this wasn't his flat.
"Yeah," Xue Yang finally said. Wei Ying took one step over the threshold, saw Goose, then stepped back out.
"Actually, why don't we talk out here and your furry friend can, uh, stay nice and cozy."
There were a few dogs on the premises of Yiling Farms, controlled mostly by one of Wei Ying's nephews or cousins or something. It was well known and respected among the other staff that Mr. Wei did not care for dogs. Xue Yang knew this, and still, he'd brought Goose home. It was like the two facts existed on opposite planes of existence and now they were connecting and making him feel even worse.
“She followed me home," Xue Yang said. He could tell by the small nod he gave that Wei Ying knew he meant 'sorry'.
"You are totally allowed to keep a pet, dude, don't worry about it. Just…. let me know."
They were outside now. The sky was cloudy as it usually was in the winter, sad and empty. Xue Yang knew he was in trouble, but he really didn't want to be homeless in this weather.
"Is everything okay?" Wei Ying asked him carefully, the way social workers used to talk to him before he set them straight. Xue Yang wasn't to be pitied. They could get fucked. But Wei Ying was actually nice to him so…
"Sure," he lied, because what else was he supposed to say?
"A-Qing said you ran off after a fight with another vendor."
Xue Yang groaned. "It wasn't a fight. I would never run from a fight! I just… can't stand him."
"Xiao Xingchen?"
"Ugh. You know him too?"
"He's my uncle. Well, sort of. It's complicated."
"Is that why you let him outcompete your mushroom sales?" Xue Yang muttered.
Wei Ying laughed. "With his mushrooms? Yeah. Look, Xue Yang. Mushrooms are not the backbone of our income and while occasionally foraging is really fun, I'm too busy with the kiddo to really try and make it one. We lose no money in mushroom sales. It's just extra from what Lan Zhan and I collect on our walks."
Xue Yang stared at his feet, aghast. It must have shown on his face because Wei Ying added, "I'm glad that you take this so seriously, Xue Yang. It's good to have people who are passionate about produce."
Xue Yang could not answer that. How was he going to explain that the sense of place and purpose Wei Ying had given him was so much more than produce?
"No." Was all he could say.
Wei Ying looked sideways at him, a wry smile on his face. "No?"
Xue Yang groaned and stomped his foot. Why couldn't he explain to Wei Ying why he wasn’t about to let Xiao Xingchen win? Xiao Xingchen with his pretty hair and pouty lips and that stupid white jacket.
"You know," Wei Ying said cautiously. "You can still see him, even if you aren't trying to destroy his business."
There were headlights flashing in the drive by the main house. Maybe Lan Zhan, Mr. Wei’s partner, was coming back from a trip to town. Xue Yang focused on those instead of Wei Ying's words, which were sinking in like boots in the fields after a particularly hard rain.
"Why would I wanna see him anyways?" Xue Yang snapped, finally, when he realized Wei Ying wasn't going to say anything more until he did.
"I can't answer that," Wei Ying said with an infuriating smile. "Only you can. Now I need to go greet our guests."
Not Lan Zhan then. Shit. There was only one other reason for someone to be coming to the farm this late. Of course Song Lan was here for his dog. Panicked, Xue Yang ran back into the flat and locked the door.
"Fuck," he told Goose. Goose cocked her head sideways to the right, then the left as her tail started wagging and she jumped to the door, barking excitedly.
Xue Yang was sweating. What did he say? What did he do? Hide? He almost punched himself for that cowardly thought. With a deep breath, he wheeled around, pushed past Goose, and opened the door again. Goose nearly knocked him over in her eagerness to get to Song Lan, who was stomping across the field between the main house and the barn, less than twenty meters away. Xiao Xingchen was running a few paces behind him, looking less angry, thankfully.
"What the fuck , Xue Yang!" Song Lan shouted in the second before he was tackled by 50 pounds of Staffordshire Bull Terrier.
"She likes me better!" Xue Yang shouted, adding fuel to the fire. Maybe he could be the villain here. Maybe that would get them to just...leave him alone.
Xiao Xingchen approached him before Song Lan could get up properly, being mauled with love as he was by his dog.
"We've been trying to call you all day!" he said, slightly winded. Xue Yang felt that familiar constriction in his chest. Fucking asshole.
"How did you get my number?"
"A-Qing, of course!" Xingchen said, smiling and finally straightening as his breathing evened out. "I was so worried when you took off like that! And then Goose ran after you before I could grab her."
Song Lan had finally gotten up into a crouch and was ruffling Goose all over just the way she liked. "You gave us a fucking heart attack! A-Qing said you lived on the farm and it's like twenty miles out of town! Did you actually walk here?"
Song Lan was obviously mad, hence the shouting, but his anger wasn't at Xue Yang. It was to him, but not at him. And for some reason, that really mattered. Why was still uncertain in Xue Yang’s mind, as well as what to do with this information.
"It's not that far," Xue Yang said, only a little bit defensive.
" Twenty miles ," Song Lan repeated. "Please say you got a cab."
Xiao Xingchen was looking him up and down. "Have you eaten? Did you replenish lost water? We got some takeout on the way. That sweet and spicy Korean chicken you like."
"Goose needs food," Xue Yang said, ignoring that.
"Yeah, don't worry," Song Lan waved away. "I have all her stuff in our go-bag."
Of course Song Lan keeps a doggie go-bag with him. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. This asshole. How could he be so… good?
"You need to eat too, A-Yang," Xingchen said. Xue Yang wanted to punch him or something.
"I'm fine!" he snapped. And he snapped . "What do you want?"
"To make sure you didn't kill yourself today," Song Lan fired back, matching his frustration.
"It's none of your business if I kill myself or not—no wait, not like that —just…" he gave up and just grunted in frustration. Xue Yang hadn’t asked for this. He had given them so many chances to punch him in the face and leave and they just wouldn’t take it. His eyes burned. He was not going to cry over this.
“Just...Stop being nice to me! You guys got together! Yay! Congrats! Take your damn dog and go rub it in someone else’s face, why don’t you?
Xiao Xingchen shook his head. "But A-Yang—"
“Stop calling me that! You don’t have to keep pretending to put up with me anymore!”
Song Lan finally stood up to his full height, which was somehow more intimidating than usual. Xue Yang felt so small.
“No one is pretending anything!” he shouted. “What is it going to take to get through your thick head that we’ve both been flirting with you for the past month!? Xingchen bought you candy and snacks every day just to make sure you didn’t forget to eat! I walked around the market for fucking ever until you were free just to talk to you! ”
"No," Xue Yang responded as a lot of dots began connecting in his brain. Wei Ying had known, hadn't he? I want to keep seeing Xingchen because I like him. That's what he had been trying to get Xue Yang to say.
But I like Song Lan too . And Song Lan likes Xingchen. So no matter what, I lose.
"Yes," they both responded, Song Lan still angry, Xingchen sympathetic. Xue Yang wanted to punch them both. No, he wanted to kiss them both. And maybe punch them. And definitely fuck them. Jesus. Christ.
Xue Yang was having a fucking breakdown and here they were being all considerate. Song Lan was still rubbing Goose's coat, but looking up at him with those fiery brown eyes. Xingchen, his arms hovering away from his body in that awkward pose that indicated what he wanted to do the most was reach out but didn't because Xue Yang would have punched him.
Nope. Xue Yang turned around and went back into his flat and shut the door. Coward , he chided himself.
"A-Yang!" Xingchen called. The doorknob rattled and he could hear Xingchen saying quietly, "A-Lan don't! You can't break into his house ."
"Xue Yang!" Song Lan shouted. "Get out here now! Don't hide."
No. This was not allowed. He was not allowed to have nice things. Everything he touched went bad. He was cursed. They needed to just leave.
"GO PICK SOME FUCKING MUSHROOMS!" Xue Yang shouted. He could have shouted something nasty, but honestly what was worse than the domesticity of picking non-hallucinogenic mushrooms?
"It's not called 'picking'! It's called foraging, you idiot!" Song Lan yelled back.
"We want you to pick them with us!" Xingchen called.
Xue Yang's legs gave out and he slumped to the floor, tears streaming down his face. He wasn't aware he was making any noise until Song Lan did open the door and Xingchen rushed forward to wrap him in a hug.
"I wanna go mushroom picking with you," he confessed into Xingchen's shoulder.
"We want you to come with us," Song Lan said, his voice sounding choked. Goose came in and nuzzled against Xue Yang as well.
This was not how things were supposed to go. This many good things couldn't happen in a row. Xue Yang wasn't allowed to be happy.
But he wanted to be. Oh, how he wanted to be.
"We even got you a basket," Song Lan said, crouching down in front of him. "And you can play with Goose whenever you want. And, you know, we can, uh, you know, be a couple and all that stuff."
Song Lan was turning bright pink the more he talked. Xue Yang grinned evilly through his tears.He felt a bit more like himself. " 'And stuff? How old are you? Can't you say 'fuck'?"
Xingchen chuckled and Song Lan glared at him, then locked eyes with Xue Yang and said, "Fuck."
Maybe. Just this once. Some good things were allowed to happen.
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