Work Text:
Author's note:
Spoilers through GA-S3-E17, slight AU from there :).
bobbiejelly
Waiting For The End To Come
"Come on Meredith. Don't do this…"
Addison Forbes Montgomery watches helplessly as Meredith Grey's chest fails to rise and fall, rise and fall the way it would be if she were just sleeping and not potentially dying.
As she leaves the room, all of the intern's friends watch her with pleading eyes until she has to say to them "you ah, you should prepare yourselves…" before she disappears from their sight.
As Addison stumbles aimlessly around the hospital she finds her husband, or ex-husband, or whatever by habit, and the minute she sees him she breaks down completely.
"She's dying, Derek."
"Who, Meredith?"
"Yes, Derek. Damn you! The woman you took home from the bar when you left me, the woman you seduced on your service, the woman I should hate completely but somhow adore is now on death's doorstep, and we're divorced now, and I don't know why I'm crying to you but we used to be friends, Derek, and I could talk to you about anything. And this is the 'anything,' and the 'everything,' and I know I can talk to you about this because…"
"Because…?"
"Because you love her, too."
"You love her?"
"I-"
"YOU LOVE HER!?"
"I-. I'm sorry Derek, I don't know how this happened…"
"WHAT. HAPPENED."
"Nothing. Everything. Really but not really anything, because it's not like I've told her, or that she's known, or that we said or did anything todather. I just watch her sometimes, watch her operate, watch her learn, watch her struggle, and fight…"
"She's not fighting now."
"Yes, she is."
"Maybe she won't."
"Yes, she will."
"Maybe we're just waiting for the end to come, Addie, maybe it's not supposed to happen. Maybe we're not going to have our great love story, or your great love story, or who the hell knows. Maybe she wasn't supposed to be with me, or be with you, or maybe we'll be able to move on, but as much as you're crushed I'm crushed too, and it's stupid but I'm glad you're here, Addison. I thought you'd hate me for caring about her, but you care about her, and I care about you enough."
"But you don't love me anymore."
"I'm not in love with you anymore, Addison, but to be truthful, you're not in love with me, either, are you?"
"No, I-, guess I'm not."
"Do you think for a moment…"
"Huh?"
"Do you think for a moment that between us both loving her, that it could be enough somehow? That it could be enough to bring her home?"
"What kind of what now?"
"Hey, isn't this like you're Juju? Like hot chocolate is magic? Or something bizarre about Karma?"
"I'm not sure this is the same sort of phenomenon…"
"Could it be?"
"Well, it's better than sitting here doing nothing."
"Yeah. Speaking of doing better things than waiting, I better check on her mother."
"Yeah, you probably might. I'll ah-"
"Go check on her, Addison. Go check on Meredith. It's okay, I want to know she's okay, too. You'll let me know?"
"I'll let you know."
"Oh- and Addison, before you go?"
"Yeah?"
"Ah, for what it's worth, I think you two would be good together…"
"You do!?"
"Yeah. I mean, I would know, right?"
"Stop smirking, this is NOT funny."
"But it sort of is… And the joke is on me, so I'm allowed to keep smirking…"
"I suppose so. But you really think we'd be good together?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Why are you suddenly okay with this?"
"Because she's dying, Addison. Or maybe she's dying, or maybe she's living, but say she stops fighting and then she's gone. I'd rather her spend another day happy with you than unhappy with me if she comes back. When she comes back. I think you'd make her happier, that's all."
"Even if I'm an adulterous Satan?"
"I thought you only went by the 'Ruler Of All That Is Evil."
"Now we're talking."
"We are talking. We haven't really talked in years, and I'm glad we're actually talking now."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Look Addie, as my wife it wasn't working, but as your friend, I do miss you. We were friends in med school, we were friends after that. Those were the good years. And maybe we can get back to that."
"Maybe we could get back to that. God knows I could use a friend around here."
"We could be friends again if you wanted."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"I gotta go."
"Yeah. I've got to go, too."
Derek nods at his ex-wife before he heads out to help Ellis Grey, and Addison sits for herself for only a moment before her pager beeps to Meredith's room, and she answers the page at a run.
"Addison…?" A weak voice emerges from the hospital bed.
"Meredith…" Addison can only say weakly as she sees the young woman's eyes flicker open.
"Dr. Montgomery- you're here…" Meredith squeaks out hoarsely, before gesturing for the Attending to come over.
"I'm here," Addison answers.
"You're here," Meredith nods at her.
"I can go…" Addison says shyly, realizing her presence might be uncomfortable.
"No," Meredith says forcefully, louder than anything she's sad yet so far.
"No?" Addison squints at her.
"No, I mean, don't go…" Meredith says pleadingly.
"Are you sure?" Addison offers.
"I'm sure… Addie… Please stay…" Meredith offers, pointing to the spot next to her on the hospital bed.
Addison smiles and nods at her, and gently crawls into bed next to Meredith, careful not to crush her or push her sideways while she's recovering.
For a while, there's just breathing, and weariness, and Meredith pulling Addison closer to her shoulder until she can get close enough to whisper into Addison's ear.
"I heard you."
"What?"
"I heard you when you were talking to me."
"Oh."
"I heard every word. You told me 'don't do this,' and I guess I listened."
"You heard me."
"I heard you. And I listened. And now you're here, and I'm here, and I don't want you to go."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"But what about Derek?"
"He's not here now, is he? You're the one here, and he's not. I could hear him in the room before you. And he left. And you didn't."
"But I left also?"
"Not before asking me to hold on and fight."
"I'd fight for you."
"You'd win."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Does this make me a winner then?"
"Of course."
"What do I win then?"
"Me."
"Seriously?"
"What, isn't that just what you wanted?"
"Well, I mean- ah."
"Oh, shut up, Addison. Of course, you win something!"
"Wait what?"
"C'mere, Addie. I gotta give you something!"
"I'm here, if I come any closer I'm gonna squish you!"
"Come closer, Addison. I was just dying, remember? I'm too tired to pull you closer."
"Okay," Addison says as she leans in.
"Okay," Meredith says as she reaches for Addison.
"I'm so glad you didn't die today, Meredith," Addison murmurs.
"Me too," Meredith chuckles as she tucks a stray hair from Addison's face.
"Is that so?" Addison asks, breathing a sigh of relief.
"Yeah," says Meredith. "You see, if I had died today I wouldn't have gotten to wake up and tell you how beautiful you are."
"You think I'm beautiful?" Addison asks, touched by Meredith's kindness.
"I think you're a beautiful person, Addison," Meredith says.
"Meredith…"
"Addison…"
"I'm so glad you're home."
"I'm at home with you."
"I'm in love with you… Already…"
"I'm in love with you, too."
"Meredith, ah, may I… ah…"
"Kiss me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm sure. Addison, please…"
"Don't leave me again."
"I won't. You don't go dying either, Addie, I need you."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Good."
"Good."
"I feel like I'm waiting for the end to come, but in a good way…"
"Wait but what's ending for you?"
"Being unhappy."
"What?"
"I wasn't happy before, but now I am. Because you're here, and I'm here, and we get to be together for real."
"That's a lot of pressure on me before even a first date."
"This can be our first date then?"
"What, here? Meredith, you're in the hospital!"
"What, so are you? I mean, we're surgeons. We're almost always in the hospital anyway."
"That's not what I meant…"
"C'mon, isn't this romantic though? I mean, we're already in bed together…"
"Meredith Grey, you are so bad."
"But you love it."
"Yeah, I love it."
"Gosh, I can't wait till I'm less incapacitated and I can really take you home to my bedroom."
"You were just dying like, ten minutes ago, and already you're thinking about that!?"
"Hey, I can't help it! You're just that hot, Dr. Montgomery!"
"Okay, you gotta stop now though, because now I'm thinking about that."
"All the better."
"Tease!"
"Says you!"
"Addison?"
"Meredith?"
"Guess what I'm thinking about?"
"Ah….?"
"I'm thinking about you, thinking about us, I'm thinking of the future…"
"That is so cheesy!"
"But you love it."
"But I love it."
"Because you know I still love you right?"
"Yeah. I still love you too, Mer."
"Will you stay with me for a while more, ah, I'm tired, and I want a nap, but I don't want to wake up without you."
"Of course I'll stay with you, Meredith. I don't want to wake up without you either…"
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Why are you looking at me like that now?"
"Ah, sorry I just realized I might have told your friends to 'prepare themselves,' earlier…"
"Oh, that's good. They probably have to prepare themselves for the shock of seeing their best friend being snuggled by their ex-boyfriend's ex-wife, though, I mean, it's probably not the weirdest thing I've even put them through in recent times."
"What is the-"
"Shh… Addison, I'm sleeping."
"Mmkay, you rest up Meredith. I'll be here. You'll be here. We'll be here together, and we can talk again in the morning."
"Always."
"Always."
Meredith tucks herself into Addison's shoulder before nuzzling herself to be comfortable. Addison cuddles into Meredith and lies awake for a second, doubting herself, thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong… And all the ways this could possibly go right. Addison sighs, and takes a deep breath for courage, thinking to herself:
"Come on, Addison. You can do this…"
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***** FIN
Author's Note:
The title is inspired by "Waiting For The End" by Linkin Park.
Thanks for all the support recently, it's so sweet when folks start reading and commenting! You are very much appreciated, and it's great to hear what you think!
Additionally, there are some fantastic #meddison stories that are being published day by day at the moment, and I encourage everyone to check them out too! (And maybe you'll even write your own stories here if you haven't already 3).
Have a good one!
Ps. Ah, so requests are still open, despite the fact that I realize most readers would probably request that I update some of the 100+ multi-chapter stories that are still in the works- oops! These are definitely on the way, and your patience and gratitude is appreciated as these happen a little slower than planned. It happens. And all along this fandom just keeps getting better :D.
bobbiejelly