Work Text:
With a burst of adrenaline, Severus Snape sat up with a gasp. Spidery hands flew to his neck to attempt to staunch the wounds at his neck. Frowning, Severus pulled his hands away and noticed they were clean. Had Potter, or more likely, Granger, healed him after he lost consciousness? Unlikely. The boy hadn't a chance to view his memories yet, and wouldn't believe Severus was on the side of the Light until he was smacked in the face with it. Ruminating on this, Severus became aware of his surroundings.
He was naked. This made him uncomfortable. He knew not where he was and he disliked leaving himself so vulnerable to a potential enemy. Next to him, he found his usual set of black clothes and teaching robes. Pulling them on hurriedly, he looked around.
Everything was gray. The sky like iron and the trees were cold sentinels, guarding the grove he was in. Though soft under his fingertips, the grass looked drained of any moisture or life. Memories began to trickle their way through him. He knew this grove. This was their grove.
"Sev."
The soft voice came from behind him. His head snapped around so fast; he was surprised nothing cracked.
"Lily" he breathed.
Lily Evans stood before him, not a day older than 15. The intense green of her eye, so like her son's, was the only color he could see. With a knot in his throat, he laid eyes on his best and only friend for the first time in over 20 years. Severus paused and closed his eyes in pain. 20 years. It stilled seemed like he heard of her death yesterday with how raw it still felt. Simultaneously, it had been eons since he last saw her face, not in a picture or heard her voice.
"Severus."
This voice was harder, more insistent. This is the voice he always imagined she would use to scold her son and husband for getting into mischief. Opening his eyes, he watched as Lily Potter stalked towards him, pale red hair fluttering on an intangible breeze. She stopped, towering over him as he remained sitting on the grass. Uncharacteristically nervous, he lightly pulled at the light pink flowers growing, not meeting her eyes.
With a sudden thump on the ground, she collapsed next to him in heap.
"I should be furious with you."
"I am aware."
"You treated him horribly, Sev."
"I know. It was somewhat on purpose."
Lily shook her head, Weasley-colored hair flaring around her. Her face was set in familiar stubborn lines, ones, Severus discovered with a slight shock, that were identical to the ones that Potter the younger got when he was feeling mutinous. An expression Severus was very familiar with.
"At the beginning, he looked so much like Potter... like James, that I couldn't help myself. He was everything I wanted and everything I hated in one small boy. I was so blinded by what I saw, I never stopped to see him for who he was.
By the time I made my peace with his parentage and realized he was not James reincarnated, the signs were showing of the Dark Lord returning. Any agreement your son and I could have come to was to be put to the side until the Dark Lord was dead. But I protected him as best I could."
At this, Severus paused, waiting for Lily to yell terrible things at him. Things he deserved.
"Oh Sev," came the sigh. "I am so sorry."
In shock, Severus turned to look Lily full in the face. Her auburn hair was shimmering against her navy jumper, green eyes deeply unhappy. Sighing again, Lily pulled Severus backward until they lay on the grass, shoulder to shoulder like they did when they were children to find shapes in the clouds. The pale blue sky was clear, not a cloud in sight. Lily stared straight up and began to speak.
"I know why you treated Harry as you did. I don't like it, and if I had been alive while Harry was growing up, I would have had you by your ear until you repented and changed your act. But I wasn't. I'm not. You all had to make difficult choices, while I left my baby behind."
The strength in her voice wavered on the last sentence. Severus turned on his side to face her, watched a single teardrop down her face, bright as crystal, and disappear into her hair.
"You saved him. You gave him the ultimate sacrifice and that begat his ultimate protection. If you hadn't protected him as you did, he would have died in his first year."
With a hard shove, Lily sent him sprawling onto his back.
"That," she informed him, "is not helping."
"Yes, it is. You only get physical when you have been forced to feel better about something you do not wish to."
Lily sniffed and sat up, with a small smile on her face. As Severus followed her into a seated position, the smile fell and her face became serious.
"I am dead, am I not?"
Lily huffed in what seemed like affronted surprised.
"Yes, but it's supposed to be my job to tell you that. You're ruining the Great Divinity's plans, Severus."
Severus snorted. "You believe in no Great Divinity."
A quick, playful grin flashed across her face. "You're right, I don't, but you're still ruining our tearful reunion and my dramatic reveal."
"I got bitten by a great bloody snake that I am very familiar with how venomous she is. Of course, I'm dead. Your son and his friends would have had no hope to heal me. I would have needed antivenin, blood replenishers, a purging potion, and essence of dittany, at the very least."
"So. It's time to make a choice."
"What choice could I possibly have?"
"Well ... you can move on. Come with me to the next part. Or you can remain as a ghost and stay at the Shrieking Shack."
Severus gave a disbelieving scoff. "Being dead for 16 years must have addled your brains if you think I have any desire to return to that forsaken shack for eternity. There is no need to make the rumors of that hovel being haunted true."
Lily gave a loud laugh at that. "You truly haven't changed, Sev. Well come on then, I'll make James and Sirius be nice to you besides the initial 'you were a dick to my son/godson' bit. You deserve that."
Severus gave his own dark chuckle at that. "Yes, I can believe that I deserve that. Make sure to bring the, ah, dogs to heel, so to speak."
"Wolves, too." Came the sad rebuttal and Severus felt his stomach drop just a touch.
He never liked Lupin. He was spineless and ran when things got difficult, but he was kind. Foolishly so, but it wasn't a virtue many possessed. But he didn't want him dead.
"Did you know he married Tonks? They had a baby boy, named him Teddy and named Harry godfather. And now Teddy will join Harry in the war orphans."
Severus felt his stomach drop another notch and his throat close up at the bitterness he could hear in his friend's voice.
"Lils, there is something I need to tell you. About Harry."
With an almost unheard-of stumble in his speech, Severus fumbled on how to tell her that her son would shortly be joining them in the afterlife. He felt a desperate gaze pierce what was left of his soul.
"Please. Please tell me Harry's okay." came the heart-breaking begging of a desperate mother.
"He is fated to not survive killing the Dark Lord. When he fell after attacking you and yours, he managed to attach part of himself to Harry. And for the Dark Lord to fall, Harry must let the Dark Lord kill him."
A deadly silence filled the glade. Unable to take the despair in Lily's gaze, he turned away to watch the deep green of the leaves sway on the same breeze that still seemed to not touch him.
"Then we have to go on. Now. I will be there to welcome Harry into the afterlife."
"Then let us leave. I wish to speak to Harry. To explain. And apologize."
She launched to her feet and then reached down to pull Severus up as well. Standing next to her, Severus realized with a start that he was taller than her. Significantly so. While this wasn't a surprise per se, it wasn't something he had experienced.
Lily was an average height at 5'7", and by the time they had parted in their fifth year, Severus was scarcely an inch taller than her. Something he had been inordinately proud of at the time. But now, now he towered over her by a healthy 8 inches. She blinked and then glared at him accusingly.
"You got taller." She scowled and then smirked. "I sure you're taller than James now, anyway."
That gave the small, bullied child inside Severus a small jump of glee. Severus had been a late bloomer, and by the time they left Hogwarts, he still was staring at James' nose. However, he had kept growing until his 20s and was now usually head and shoulders above most everyone.
With that, Lily took his potion roughened hand in her own, smaller one, and pulled him to the edge of the glade.
"C'mon, Sev. Let's go home. I want to see my son again."
With one last glance, Severus memorized the small field. Full of soft, green grass, blue skies, and sawing wildflowers, it felt safe, but he knew there were better things ahead.
--
Or at least he thought that until James bloody Potter punched him on the nose. Swearing violently, Severus leaned forward and pinched the bridge of his nose while James shook out his hand.
"OW! Dammit Sniv- I mean Snape! I think you broke my hand!"
"Don't be a drama queen, Potter. You started it with absolutely no provocation."
"No provocation!" came the only voice Severus longed to hear less than Potter's. "You've been a complete dick to Harry for years! I should give you a punch on the nose as soon as the one James gave you gets better!"
Sirius Black stepped into view, scowling with his arms crossed. Both Lily and Lupin stood off to the side, looking mildly amused. Severus was sure he saw money exchanging hands. Scowling, he turned to them.
"Did you bet on whether or not Potter and Black would hit me?" Severus demanded, offended.
"No, of course not Severus," the gentle werewolf chuckled. "We bet on who would hit you first. It was inevitable someone would punch you in the face."
"If you're quite done laughing at my expense, Lily and I have something rather important to tell you."
At this, Black shoved Potter on the shoulder. Stumbling away, Potter glared at Black.
"I knew it!" Black crowed. She's finally ditching you, Prongs! I mean, it's Snape, gross, but-"
"No, you complete moronic fool!" Severus snapped at Black. "It has to do with Harry and the Dark Lord."
"Sev. Be gentle. They don't know." With that, Lily took her husband's hands in hers and softly explained what Severus had told her. By the end of it, the three Marauders had grown pale, and gentle tear tracks ran down Potter's face. Gently pulling James' mouth down to hers, Lily kissed him softly before tugging him into a hug.
Dully, Severus noticed the jealousy and anger at seeing the two of them together had faded. Instead of a debilitating punch in the gut, it was an uncomfortable pinch to his heart. Looking away to give the couple privacy, his gaze landed on Lupin and Black, who had retreated to give James and Lily their privacy. Wondering what in Merlin's left eyebrow he was doing, Severus smoothly stepped up to the two other men.
"Lupin."
"Hello, Severus."
"I- I am sorry that you won't be able to see your son grow."
Lupin's jaw tightened and he gave a terse nod in reply.
"Dromeda will raise him. And I'm sure the Weasley's will check on him from time."
"Where is Tonks anyway? Thought'd she be here." came the rude interruption from Black. From the pained closing of Lupin's eyes, he was hoping the subject of his also dead wife wouldn't come up.
"Well done, Black, you've actually made yourself the most tactless person on this planet, surpassing even Ronald Weasley."
Lupin waved him away. "It's fine, Severus. Dora is here. She was giving us some time to become reacquainted. I got here scarcely 15 minutes before you did."
"And yet you still had time to bet on who would hit me?"
A small smile graced Lupin's face. "A foregone conclusion, unfortunately. As soon as we found out, Lily and I cast our lots before she left to go retrieve you."
Severus scowled and was about to come back with a smart reply when Lily and James walked up. Shockingly, (would the surprises of the day never end?) James immediately walked up to Severus.
"Snape. Severus, I want to apologize for how I treated you at school. I was an arrogant bully and I'm not sure what I can do to make it up to you. I know you treated Harry as badly as you did partially because of how I treated you. So while I don't regret the punch, I am sorry for the other abuse I put you through."
Said quickly, but still very formally, James stuck out his hand. Severus stared, slack-jawed, until Lily elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Warily, Severus raised his hand, clasped James', shook it twice, and then released it. He took a deep breath and looked James Potter full in the face for the first time.
Lily was right. He was taller than James. And he was young. Impossibly so. Severus, Remus, and Sirius all had lines and shadows on their faces from the stress of the war and time. But both Lily and James were youthful, unlined, and healthy-looking. Granted, the emaciated look and shadows in Sirius' eyes and the tired sag and gray hair in Remus had disappeared, but they were very obviously in their mid-thirties. For the first time in his life, Severus shared a commiserating look with Remus and Sirius as they realized the differences between them and their friends.
Then, coming from nowhere and everywhere, a voice that reverberated with a terrible might and a quiet sadness whispered through the air.
"I am about to die."
-
Everything fuzzed and Severus blinked hard. When his eyes opened, he found himself in the forbidden forest. In front of him, stood Harry. Eyes shut, battered, bleeding, and thin. An ethereal shimmer seemed to cover him, and Severus realized he must be under his invisibility cloak. Glancing around, he saw the Lily, James, Remus, and Sirius all staring hungrily at Harry.
As Harry took a deep breath and began to open his eyes, Severus retreated among the trees, so he was hidden from view. He knew this was for family and Harry might not be ready to see him.
The adults surrounded Harry with loving smiles. With a start, Severus realized Harry was the same height as his father. He never realized how tall Harry had actually grown in the six years Severus had been his professor. Lily pushed closer to him, gaze starving to devour every inch of her son that she had been taken from.
"You've been so brave."
Harry returned her stare, drinking in every inch of his mother that he could. He looked like a drowning man.
"You're nearly there," James spoke next, voice slightly hoarse. "Very close. We are... so proud of you."
"Does it hurt?"
The small voice sounded impossibly young but infinitely old and weary at the same time. It nearly broke the small remains of Severus' heart.
"Dying? Not at all," said Sirius. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep." Severus very much wanted to argue that fact. Dying had hurt quite a lot in his case. It ended quickly, but getting your throat ripped out still hurt.
"And he will want it to be quick. He wants it over," came Remus. Sounding vastly more reassuring than Sirius ever did.
Voice slightly thick and rushed, Harry almost gasped out, "I didn't want you to die. Any of you. I'm sorry-"
Staring at Remus, he seemed to be begging for forgiveness. "-right after you'd had your son... Remus, I'm sorry-"
"I am sorry too. Sorry I will never get to know him... but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life."
Severus glanced at Lily as Remus said this. Her face was pained, but understanding. She also gave her life willingly for her son, hoping to give him protection and a better life.
A wind swept through the forest, not even ruffling Severus' hair, but causing Harry to shiver slightly. A glance towards the wind's direction, the heart of the forest, and Severus knew the Dark Lord was waiting for Harry. But standing there, if Harry turned to his parents and said he didn't want to do it, Severus would understand. He would come out of hiding and tell Harry every bolthole and hiding places he had so that he could get out of the country and live his life. Take Granger and the whole Weasley brood with him.
Harry's stood taller, shoulders straightening, eyes growing sharper.
"You'll stay with me?"
"Until the very end," came James' swift and sure reply.
Always. He owed Harry this much. To walk the young man to his death with the other adults who had shielded and cared for him, but paid the price.
"They won't be able to see you?"
"We are a part of you. Invisible to anyone else."
With another long look at Lily, Harry quietly said, "Stay close to me."
Severus did no such thing. Remaining a few meters back, he followed the Potter family, Remus, and Black through the forest. This was right. He may not have been a front-line defender, but he would remain in the shadows. A quiet force that none ever knew was there until it had already passed.
A quiet thud and hushed conversation came from the gloom. Yaxley. Dolohov. Severus felt his lip curl into an involuntary sneer. Idiots.
After quietly confirming that Harry was not coming, they turned to return to the Dark Lord with Harry trailing silently behind. Lily and James pressed close to him, with Remus and Sirius flanking them. Severus remained behind feeling the pull towards Harry that he knew was caused by the resurrection stone firmly grasped in Harry's palm.
At the top of a hollow, the silent death eater camp spread out below them. Severus turned to the left, and stalked around the hollow to see every vantage point. He was at the far point when he heard the murmuring of Yaxley and Dolohov giving their report and Bellatrix's high, breathy voice.
"I thought he would come. I expected him to come."
The cold voice was easily heard over the crackling fire. Death Eater's still as the dead they had left on the battlefield, they awaited their Lord's temper. Severus watched as Harry, still in the shadows, pulled off his cloak, and shoved it and his wand into his pocket.
"I was, it seems... mistaken."
A deep inhale. Another set of his shoulders. A step into the firelight. "You weren't."
It was said deeply, unafraid, and confident. Harry locked eyes with the Dark Lord and looked only at him. As if the surrounding Death Eaters were worthless. Severus held his breath, waiting for the final blow when he noticed Harry fumble to stone and it fell to the forest floor.
--
Like a punch to the gut, Severus found him sitting in a comfortable sitting room, with a squashy, chintz sofa and matching chairs in a lurid purple. With a groan, Severus rolled his eyes. He knew exactly whose sitting room this was.
"No!"
The sudden cry startled Severus. Remus and Sirius, too, if their taken aback expressions said anything. Lily was on her feet, distraught. James had jumped up too, looking very agitated.
"We were supposed to stay. Until the end. We promised," came the pained whisper. James gathered his wife in his arms as she trembled.
And they waited. It seemed like hours. James had pulled Lily to a couch where she quietly sat with her head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her. Remus stared into the fire, lost in thought. Sirius paced, growling irritably every so often. As he was wont to do, Severus stood in a shadowy corner of the room and watched.
Finally, the entry door opened, and Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore stepped through. The lump that had been sitting in Severus' throat rose again at the sight of his old mentor. Standing even taller than Severus, Albus spread his hands wide, as if he was going to gather them into a group hug.
"My friends. I bring happy news. Harry won't be joining us today."
After his declaration, Albus sat in the chair opposite Remus and pulled the candy dish sitting on the end table closer to himself. An act of whatever deity there was kept Severus from rolling his eyes again. Even in the afterlife, he couldn't escape Albus' sweet tooth. Lily stared at her old headmaster incredulously.
"Not... not joining us? How? But Sev... Sev said he had to die! To finish YOUR plan!"
Albus grinned and shot a quick grin at Severus.
"Hm, yes, I did say that. But happy circumstances and careful planning made it so that when Voldemort cast the killing curse at Harry, it killed the part of Voldemort's own soul that resided in Harry. Harry is unharmed and free to live his life as soon as Tom is dead."
Sirius almost looked impressed. "You mad bastard! How in the bloody hell did you manage to pull that off? You've nearly been dead a year!"
Chuckling, Albus responded, "Yes, it worked beautifully. But I guarantee you my dears, if Harry is successful in his endeavor tonight, we will not see him for a very, very long time." Albus clapped his hands joyfully, "Now! Let's sit, enjoy some tea, and catch up. I have missed you all dearly."
Sirius huffed, and then dropped next to James on the couch and Severus wandered closer. Albus passed around the teacups and then tried baited Sirius into telling him the story of how Minerva found him sneaking from the Ravenclaw dorm at the end of his seventh year. Albus claims he never got the real story since Minerva was too embarrassed to tell him what happened. Sirius turned a bright red and mumbled into his teacup.
James let out a laugh, and Lily giggled quietly. Severus felt the remaining tension in his shoulders drain at the lovely sound. His best friend was here. His mentor. And three tentative allies. The afterlife could be worse. And in the living world, all would be well.