Work Text:
“Are you afraid of me?”
Joshua’s voice is quiet, but so is Neku’s room, so there’s no way not to hear him. Neku’s eyes flutter, and he grunts, so close to sleep and not willing to give up trying. He rolls over, bangs getting in his eyes as he looks at Joshua. He is glowing softly, so pale it is almost unnoticeable.
“What’re you talking about?” Neku asks groggily. It’s 3:48 in the morning- too late or early for any conversation. Joshua is curled up beside him, his hair frizzy and tangled from tossing and turning. He was supposed to be on the floor, but at some point he had crawled into Neku’s bed, and Neku hadn’t stopped him.
“Are you scared of me.” Joshua repeats, but it doesn’t sound like a question this time. “Do you ever worry that I’ll take advantage of you?”
“What, like, use your powers against me or something?” Neku yawns. He props himself up on an elbow, blinking into the darkness. Josh is wearing his shirt again- the paint spattered CAT tee that his mother keeps nagging him to get rid of. It’s strange seeing Joshua wearing something so familiar, strange seeing him tucked in so comfortably in his bed. Things that belong to the god of the city are strewn throughout Neku’s room, tucked away in his shelves or on his desk… it’s strange, but there’s something sort of amazing about it too, something Neku hopes doesn’t change. He likes the way Joshua looks in his clothes, the way they hug his body, but are a little bit too long in the sleeves or legs. He likes the fact that Joshua has instant access to literally any article of clothing imaginable, and out of all of that, he chooses to borrow his beat-up old paint shirt.
Joshua chews on his lip, violet eyes watching him with a sad intensity. He shrugs awkwardly beneath the covers, nestling down deeper into the pillows. Any deeper and he’ll sink right through the mattress, Neku thinks.
“Not exactly, no… well, maybe.” Joshua sighs. He’s rubs his eyes. “There’s… a rather noticeable power difference between us. I feel like it needs to be addressed.”
“At four in the morning?” Neku raises an eyebrow, and Joshua’s cheeks darken a little.
“The timing doesn’t really matter… It was just eating at me.” He sighs, rolling onto his back. There’s a little bit of a sparkle on the sheets from his feathers, the faintest little wisps of down. Neku smiles, despite himself. “I just…” Joshua starts to talk, but then he stops. He starts a few more times, but each broken sentence comes to an awkward halt, and then he gives up. He rolls back onto his side, back to Neku.
“… Neku, I want you to be honest with me.” He says, finally, and Neku is tempted to remind him that he’s not the one with the track record of dishonesty in this relationship. It doesn’t feel like a very good time to be bringing that up though.
“What’s wrong, Josh?” Neku prompts, hoping to drag it out of him. Joshua’s shoulders move up and down a bit. His breathing is quiet. A minute passes, and Neku thinks maybe he’s fallen asleep, until he sits up, back arched tiredly.
“Do you let me stay in your life because you want me here… or because you’re afraid of what I might do if you turn me away?” A voice that reminds Neku of a child speaks to the mural on the other side of the room It is his unfinished masterpiece, a record of his life since Day One, Week One. Joshua always stares at it when he comes over. Neku is pretty sure Josh realized what it was long before he himself did.
“Joshua, I’ve literally punched you in the face for what you put me through. Would someone who was scared of divine repercussion do that?” Neku asks crossly, and Joshua snorts. When he looks back he’s glowing a little brighter, a small smile on his face.
“No, I suppose not…” He sits there a while longer, watching Neku fondly. Neku feels like he’s on display. He reaches for Josh’s arm, tugging lightly, trying to tell him to get back in bed. With a sigh, he lays back down, squirming closer to Neku. His head rests perfectly beneath Neku’s chin, soft hair and cool skin.
“… I’ve already told you a lot more about the UG than you should know.” Joshua murmurs into Neku’s shirt, his forehead pressed against his chest. “I know that the weight of all that knowledge is probably hard to bear… that it is unfair of me to put so much on you, and then expect you to keep on living your normal life…”
“Josh, it’s fine. Honest.” Neku pets his hair gently, running his fingers through to try and get rid of some of the knots. “We’re friends, kay?" Friends, yes. That's certainly a word that could be used to describe them. Sharing a bed and each others clothes, just normal things all guy friends did. Again, it's too early to be thinking about these things. "Friends vent to each other. Your problems may be more supernatural than mine, but that doesn’t mean they’re less real.” That was what being friends was about, Neku had come to understand. They couldn’t always fix your problems, but they could help carry the load for you.
Joshua nestles against him, arms linking hesitantly around his back. It’s strange, how easily Joshua can drape his arms around him in public, flirt and tease and make a show of anything, but the moment things start getting serious, touch is suddenly a foreign concept. His hands move so slowly, so carefully. It’s like he’s always handling something fragile, and if he touches it the wrong way, it will break apart.
“… things are going to get worse.” Joshua whispers. Neku feels the movement of his lips against his chest more than he actually hears the words. Josh shuffles slightly, angling his head to look at Neku. “I can’t tell you everything right now. I don’t know everything right now. But life in Shibuya… life, for me, is going to get a lot harder very soon. If you want out… now is the time to say so.” Josh stares at him with a hard gaze, his voice grave, and Neku feels a chill crawling down his spine- he knows Josh is serious.
How could someone so powerful look so helpless? How could someone he knew was capable of awful things have become someone he felt he had to protect? Neku holds Josh securely, pressing his forehead to his.
“Sorry Partner, but we’re in this together. You aren’t getting me off board that easily.”