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Stupid. How could she be so stupid? She honestly hadn’t meant to; it all happened in the blink of an eye and the girl was too slow to process it.
They were tucked away in their favorite secret spot of the library, reading yet another chapter from The Good Witch Azura. This particular one was one of Luz’s favorites, where the tragically misunderstood Hecate finally confesses her love for Azura on the Silverbane Cliffs of Valbera. It was a chapter Luz had read so many times, she could practically recite it from memory and probably wouldn’t have even considered re-reading if Amity hadn’t suggested.
They were sitting much closer than usual, with Amity’s shoulders knocked up against Luz’s, but all was going in typical fashion. That was until Amity’s delicate fingers curled around the Latina's, causing her to glance up. In that brief moment, her heart caught in her throat and her chest pounded with such intensity.
Golden eyes sparkled like tiny stars in the dimly lit room. A heartshaped face framed by a cascade of auburn and reddish-brown waves which barely reached her shoulders, emanating a crackling fire through the shadows. The fire grew hotter, stretching from her hands to her face, and she was burning, and their noses touching and then...
All of a sudden, Luz couldn’t breathe,
couldn’t think,
couldn't...
b-breathe...
and she,
she...
Luz blinked and realized her lips were on the witchling's. But by the time she reared back, it was too late and embarrassment threatened to consume her. She directed her gaze to the floor, patting her hands against her sides and searching for words but coming up empty.
She sorely made the mistake of looking up at Amity who appeared not to be breathing at all. The girl was rigid as a statue staring back at the human with an unwavering gaze to the point where one might question whether she was still alive. Luz tried to explain herself, spurting out apologies, but they came out in a garbled mess.
Staggering to her feet, she pushed herself from the building and fled as far she could down the dirt roads until she found some abandoned corner to hide in. She thought she heard the faint sounds of her name behind her, but the wind was roaring too loud to hear. So she curled herself behind the dumpster, knees pressed to her chest, face covered in snot, and hands still trembling.
Ruined, You had just ruined a perfectly good friendship, she chided herself.
She knew how defensive Amity was. It had taken weeks, weeks to convince the girl to break down her walls only for good ol' Luz to give her an excuse to put them up again. It wasn’t as if this was the first relationship she had destroyed either. She faced her fair share of rejection in the past and in turn, built a titanium coat of armor to shield herself. Any expressions of disgust, she’d ignore with a smile and blot the cruel words from her mind, understanding that she was too weird to be liked and that was okay.
But Amity was different. When she pulled away, it actually hurt. At first glance, the witch appeared cold and icy but Luz soon came to realize it was a mask concealing the image of a scared, lonely teen who was constantly being weighed down by the pressures of society. They understood each other in a way no one else had nor cared to - two sides of the same coin only longing for validation. And now that was gone.
She scrubbed at the dried tears on her cheeks.
What if Amity hated her now? And what about Willow and Gus? They were friends with Amity too. Would they cast her out? Lead her along like a worm on a string, waiting until her true colors were shown and then throw her to the wayside as if she was nothing more than a broken toy? Had she single-handedly destroyed all her friendships in one fell swoop? Why did she break everything she touched?
“Luz!” Amity’s sweet voice cut through the air and pulled the human from her thoughts.
Part of her wanted to run right then and there but her body felt so weak and her legs so heavy, that she didn't think she could stand. Instead, she curled herself in deeper and let a small whimper escape her lips. "Ya no aguanto más...”
The teen called her name again, much softer this time followed by the faint tapping of heels heading in her direction. Luz could only squeeze her eyes in response, too ashamed to see the witch's face. There was a ruffle of fabric and then Amity was beside her, not quite touching but close enough to feel the other girl’s body heat radiating against hers.
“Hey, are you alright?” A pause. “That was a stupid thing to say. Of course, you’re not," she muttered more to herself than Luz. "Um, care to talk about it?" The last words peaked and it was pretty clear how awkward this was for the witch. "Sorry, sorry, that didn’t sound right either. Titan, why am I so bad at this?"
Tap tap tap. Luz recognized the familiar beats of Amity's fingers drumming against her knees, something she only did while anxious. A few more seconds ticked by before the warmth beside her mysteriously disappeared. "You, know what," Amity said, rising to her feet. "Maybe it’d be better if I just go."
"Yes," Luz choked out, cringing at the shakiness in her voice. "I wanna talk..."
"Oh," Amity replied. “Good. That’s good.” She took up a seat beside Luz and ghosted her palm above the other's knee, prepared to retract at a moment's notice. When the girl didn't pull away, she cupped it and squeezed gently.
Carefully, Luz rested her head against the back wall, inhaling through her nose, and whispered, "I'm sorry, Amity."
The hand over her knee turned rigid. Wow, she must be really upset with me. "Oh, it's fine," the witch said.
"No, it's not." She shifted to a kneeling position and stared down at her clenched fists.
"You've been doing so well of letting other people in and I know how hard that must be for you, and I just made it harder when the last thing I wanted to do was challenge that and break your trust. You're a really sweet person, and I know I don't deserve it, but I was so happy that you decided to give me a chance, but now I might've blown things between us because I never think stuff through, and I know you already have a crush on someone else, so I don't even know why I thought that was a good idea. And I really wish I could take it back but--"
"Luz!" Amity grabbed her hands and it had just dawned on the Latina how fast she'd been talking. "Instead of assuming how I felt about the kiss, why don’t you ask me?"
She took in a calming breath and steadied herself. "Okay... How did you feel about, you know?" She tapped two fingers against her lips.
Amity smiled and pulled away, fiddling with the ends of her skirt. "To be honest, I'm not sure. I'll admit it was unexpected, but I liked it," she quickly tacked on after noticing the human's shoulders tense. "It wasn't like a romance novel. I didn't feel weightless, my stomach didn't turn flips, but at the same time, I felt... different."
"Lo siento..."
"I already told you, it's fine. I'm more surprised you had the courage to do it first."
Luz's head flipped up, finally catching the witch's gaze for the first time since the incident. Amity's eyes were soft and sincere with the subtle hint of pink flushed along her cheeks and her mouth curved into a tiny smirk. "Wait. You mean, you like me? Like, like like me?"
"Yes, silly, I like like like you."
"H-how? Why?"
"Are you kidding?! You’re fun and spontaneous. You have such a big heart and you never worry about what others think. You have this wild imagination and these insane ideas but you somehow manage to make them work. You’re the only human on the Boiling Isles able to perform real magic, for titans sakes!"
She sheepishly tucked a loose strand behind her ear, the blush deepening. "In a way, you’re... inspiring."
Luz's brain had completely stopped. Not only did Amity have feelings for her but she was impressed! Electric sparks rushed through her body as if a plush blanket was wrapped around her... and in less than an instant, it was ripped away.
"No."
"Luz?"
"No, I... I can't. You don’t want me."
"What? Of course, I do." Amity attempted to reach out and touch her arm, but Luz shrugged her off.
"No, you don’t! Amity I’m not an idiot. I know how important your reputation is here. You have status, a future in the emperor’s coven, the coven that now has it out for me and wants to invade my world. But those are my problems, not yours. You have a real chance at something special and I won't damage that." She reached behind her and pulled the cat hood up over her eyes, deciding it best not to see the witch's face. For she knew if she saw the traces of hurt on there, she'd crumble.
But Amity was not at all ready to accept defeat. In one swift motion, she tugged the fabric back down and gave the human a level stare. "Luz, my life is my own. Unless I wanted you to, there's no way you could ruin it for me, I promise."
"And your parents?" Luz said, immediately taking notice of how Amity’s shoulders tensed. “You really think they'd be cool with me, a human, hanging around, let alone dating their daughter?"
"Well, no father and mother are indeed sticklers when it comes to who I associate myself with. You’ve seen how they reacted to Willow."
"See?"
"But I'd rather risk facing their wrath than lose you! You never gave up on me Luz. I was such a jerk back then. All you wanted was to be my friend, and I pushed you away. I had pushed so many people away; I didn't know how not to. But every single time, a part of me always hoped you'd come back, and you did. You always came back."
Luz gently cupped the witch's cheeks. "Amity, I’ll always be there for you."
Amity smiled and returned the gesture. "Well, the same goes for me. We can make this work. Emira and Edric are always sneaking around with... less than desirable partners. I've discovered nearly all of their secret hideaways by now."
Luz grinned. "Amity Blight, are you considering becoming a rebel?"
"Don't be so surprised, Noceda. This is all your doing."
The girl snickered.
"But if we’re to pull this off, I’ll need a lot more guidance. Being the mischievous child is not my forte."
Luz rose to her feet and puffed out her chest proudly as she gazed down upon her young protege. "Very well then, my dear pupil. I shall bestow upon thee my hard-earned wisdom of teenage rule-breaking." She waggled her eyebrows to heighten the effect, which obviously worked as Amity covered her face in response and shoved the other away.
Luz couldn't help but get sucked into contagious laughter. All her worries from before were instantly washed away, replaced by the feathery airiness in her chest. "So does that mean we’re like official now?" she asked.
"Officially what?"
Luz blinked. "Uh, You know… a thing."
She only received a cocked eyebrow in response.
"Together? Girlfriends?" She squeaked out the last part, squeezing her knees together awkwardly.
“Oh, you mean soulmates.”
"Yes, exactly. Wait. Soulmates?!"
"Of course, we will need to enact the ritual first."
"Ritual?!"
"Mhm. It's a classic lover's ritual. One in which we both draw blood and recite an ancient incantation, thereby binding our souls and bounding us together for all eternity," Amity answered nonchalantly.
Luz’s breath hitched as the corners of Amity’s lips turned up and... Wait, was she…?
“You’re so gullible, human.” Amity laughed, a bright smirk breaching her face.
“Amity, you troll!" Luz cried, playfully knocking her on the shoulder. "Color me impressed, I didn’t think you had it in you."
"Well, my siblings have to be useful for something. Speaking of which, those two are always stalking me; I swear they cast a tracking spell. So I propose we hurry out of here before they catch wind of this."
"Aww," Luz pouted. "Are you saying you're embarrassed to be with me?"
Red returned to Amity's face as she fumbled with her words "N-no, I just--"
The human heaved another laugh as Amity growled, turning on heel and proceeding to march out of the alley. "Ugh, you're more trouble than it's worth, you know that," she grumbled but Luz managed to catch the teeniest hint of a smile as she walked away.
"I know," she answered casually with a shrug.