Work Text:
“I’m sorry Lemres.” She said, her eyes covered in a tight, cool compress. It took so much effort for the Comet Warlock just to relieve her pain to a manageable level. He didn’t have to. She’d done this to herself, after all.
“Shhh, it’s ok Feli.” He sounded so broken, so exhausted. It hurt her to have caused her teacher this much anguish.
“It isn’t. I should never have started this process. I should never have tried to brute force my way to gaining this magic.” Hot tears rolled down her eyes and onto the cool fabric. “I just wanted to be like you so much, to impress you…”
“You’re a fantastic magician at such a young age, Feli. I’m sorry if my teachings ever made you doubt that.” He sighed, biting into a lollipop without even caring about its flavor, just swallowing it like the fuel he needed it to be. “I saw potential in you with dark magic, you impressed me with that alone.”
“I wanted to be your perfect pupil and learn everything. I thought… I thought that I could handle this, that I could just be the first person ever to get light magic who wasn’t born with it…” She shook suddenly as her world went bright again. Pain coursed down her every nerve and she saw indescribable horrors in her eyelids. She saw a million painful deaths, a thousand likely accidents, a hundred heartbreaking goodbyes, a dozen versions of herself ending her own-
NO!
“LEMRES!”
Her world went black again as soothing waves of darkness encased her in safety, in the present. She could feel his desperation and fatigue in the magic.
She loved him. She knew it was entirely unhealthy and built upon a dependency she’d created, but it was the only thing she could hang on to. Sometimes in the future visions that haunted her through this process, he was at her side during important events, walking down an aisle with her at a wedding.
He views you as a sister of course he’d walk you down the aisle to give you away.
No. He’s mine. The stars decree it so.
It hurt, everything hurt. The light was scary and painful, but she refused to let all this pain and anguish go to waste. Lemres was by her side constantly, soothing her as she forced her soul to use light magic again and again. If it could work with other elements, it could work with this.
Who cares if it’d never successfully been done before?
A part of her felt on the verge of snapping. Her soul felt stretched impossibly thin between two polar opposite powers and ideals. She could only hold it together for so long, and she had no idea what would happen if she stopped fighting it.
Was that it? Was she tensing a muscle that just needed to stretch? Was she worsening things by trying to keep them from breaking?
“Lemres, I’m sorry.”
“Feli, please stop saying-”
“Listen to me. I can’t keep fighting. I know how to let light into my soul.”
Lemres held her hand and she imagined him wearing that relieved smile she hadn’t seen in forever.
“I have to give in a little. I’m in… I have a crush turned obsession with you. If I give in, if I stop rationalizing that it’s hopeless and stupid, then I have a future goal. That’s the link I need. I need a link to the future.” She hated saying the words, but there was a relief in them. There was an end to both their pain if she just embraced her treacherous and illogical heart that hoped for something so stupid. So perfect. So unfair to the teacher who deserved better than a lovestruck pupil far too young for him.
“Light magic is known to be rooted in the future…” Lemres said softly in understanding. “If that’s what you need, it’s ok for now. We’ll find you a new goal in time.”
“I can feel it, Lemres. I’m going to be jealous, obsessive, c-cruel.” She sobbed. “I don’t want you to have to deal with that!”
“You’re family to me, Feli. I’m not going anywhere. I will make sure you are safe and help you make new friends and help you find another goal. I promise.” He patted her hand.
She took a deep breath, pulling from the dredges of her mana reserve to pull off the smallest of dark spells. It was a simple spell, a way of sensing the presence of those near her.
“You aren’t real, are you?” She said, sensing the presence of the familiar man physically much further away, asleep in a chair. It hurt.
“I’m real in your future. Light magic doesn’t lie, that’s its biggest flaw.”
“So I’ll be safe and cared for, even if I give into this unhealthy obsession? I won’t be abandoned or scorned or-”
“There is no future that I am not a part of, regardless of your decisions here on out. I will never feel for you romantically, and I will never sway from the boundaries we have now. Let your emotions and hope breathe, they will not destroy anything.” The hallucination patted her hand.
“The stars have decreed it. We are to be one.” Feli said, her voice full of certainty and determination. She smiled, her heart and mind reaching a peaceful equilibrium she hadn’t felt in over a month. The pain was gone and she felt like she could use light magic as much as she pleased, as easy as flipping a coin.
She fell asleep soundly.
…
“Congrats, I heard your pupil has the same two magic elements as you now! It must have been really hard to find an artifact that would give her soul access to light!”
“Actually… she did it the other way.” Lemres avoided looking at his friend.
“No. That’s not… that’s not possible with light.”
“It is. She’s a Star Warlock . First of her kind.” His voice was full of equal parts pride and remorse.
“You can’t be serious. A girl that young just pushing her way past Mis-magic Fatigue is a feat all its own, but Mis-LIGHT Fatigue? That’s unheard of! That’s a death sentence!” The person in front of him ran their fingers through their dark hair trying to calm down.
“I know, Lyophi, it took all my magic just to calm her down from the hallucinations.” Lemres fiddled with the candy in his hand, refusing to look at them. “Even then, towards the end of it she seemed ready to give up until she found a rather… unhealthy compromise.”
“ Explain .”
“As you know, each magic has a variety of aspects through which it can be represented in the soul. Fire has strong emotions or warm natures or quick wit. Water has everything from humility to secrecy, it all depends on the connotations one makes.”
“Yes, please, explain water magic to the Storm Warlock.” Lyophi rolled their eyes with a huff that said to continue. They knew Lemres just needed to get this off his chest, but they were going to tease him later for this.
“But Light and Dark are more definitive. Dark is the past, that which is already known though possibly forgotten. Light is the future, that which will become known, and the ability to know it sooner.”
“Oh good, now we’re explaining dark magic to, again, a Storm Warlock.” They shook their head with a sigh and a small chuckle. “I’m really not seeing how this is relevant to the aforementioned Unhealthy Compromise .”
“Oh hush, I’m getting there.” Lemres said, poking them lightly with his cane. “You know I was born aligned to the light, to a hopeful future, but I worked to gain power over the dark, as knowing the past makes it easier to make knowledgeable steps towards a better future.”
“And she was born aligned to the dark past, just like me.”
“So she needed some pull towards the future. A goal that still aligned with the past…” Lemres sighed. “She’s a young girl who saw her mentor doing everything in his power to keep her well.”
“She developed a crush on you and that’s her goal for the future, isn’t it?” Lyophi almost laughed, but caught themself at the expression on Lemres’s face.
“Yes.”
“And this is distressing to you.” Their voice went softer in an instant, the sarcasm gone entirely.
“She is a tiny little sister figure who is planning our future wedding. Yes this is distressing!”
“Does she stop when you ask her not to speak on certain topics? Like weddings?” Lyophi snapped their finger, making Lemres meet their serious gaze.
“I… I did say I didn’t want to talk about that and she did stop…”
“Set boundaries. You can’t just make her feelings go away, but if you set boundaries on what is allowed, there is nothing to be worried about.” Lyophi put a hand to Lemres’s shoulder. “How many kids get crushes on celebrities these days?”
“You’re right. I mean… I’m not going to encourage it, but I can’t treat it as my fault if someone develops feelings for me.” Lemres sighed in relief. “Thank you, Lyophi.”
“Anytime.” Their genuine smile back soon turned into a smirk, “But please, explain to me again about dark magic, I’m not sure I caught it all. Oh, oh, better yet tell me all about water magic, you know, the thing I faced MisWater Fatigue to gain? I’m sure a Comet Warlock can teach me sooo much~”
“Oh hush!” Lemres laughed brightly, making a little motion to create a blue, teardrop-shaped lollipop. “Take a candy as an apology.”