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It’s different this time, being a father. He’s older now, and Lizzie is nothing like Charlie, this tiny, blonde haired, blue eyed little girl. (“Oh, she’s beautiful, she looks just like you,” people tell Sam, and she just smiles, running her hand fondly through Elizabeth’s hair, and thanks them. People see what they want to see.)
Still, sometimes Jack watches her sleep, and thinks of his son.
It’s never long before Sam comes in, sliding her arms around him- because she knows, of course she knows. “Hey,” she says, leaning against him, watching the steady rise and fall of their daughter’s chest.
He kisses the top of her head, whispers back, “Hey,” against her hair.
He misses Charlie every day- it’s an ache he doesn’t often put into words, that has become part of him over time. But he thinks, with Sam, with this child who feels like theirs, that he has finally found some kind of peace.
***
She is five when they bring her home, an orphan from a planet ripped apart by civil war. It’s a year since he retired from the Air Force, and 11 months and 29 days since he and Sam took a leap and never looked back.
Sam calls him from the mountain- she’s been off-world a couple of days, and he’s been hanging around the hospital, bugging Charlotte and threatening to take her fishing. (Charlotte, to her end, has threatened to take him pants shopping with such resolve in her tone as to create a stalemate of the type only solved by Janet’s intervention- and she’s been busy.)
“Hey, you’re back early,” he says, smiling- he gets bored when she’s away.
“There wasn’t much left,” she says, and the regret in her voice dampens his excitement.
“Ah.”
“We brought a little girl back with us,” Sam starts, and then pauses. “We think her parents were killed in an explosion that happened a couple of days before we got there.”
“Is she okay?”
“Physically, she’s fine. But she was alone until we found her, and she’s so scared, Jack. It’s going to be a few days before something can be worked out as far as finding someone to take care of her, but I just don’t feel right leaving her here. I think I might stay for a couple of nights.”
“Bring her home,” is Jack’s immediate answer.
“I… are you sure?”
“Yeah, bring her home. Look, she’ll feel a thousand times safer in a house than in an underground military complex. And we can handle one little girl for a few days, right?”
He can hear the smile spread across Sam’s face. “Okay. I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”
***
It takes a fair amount of convincing, and Janet’s signature on about five different forms all stating that Elizabeth need not be quarantined, but General Hammond finally agrees to release her into Sam’s temporary care.
“Elizabeth,” Sam says, sitting down next to her on the infirmary bed as Janet watches nearby. “How would you feel about coming home with me for a few days?”
Elizabeth looks at her, still so pale and frightened, and asks, “I’m not going home?”
Sam takes Elizabeth’s hands. “No, sweetie, I’m sorry. It’s not safe there.”
Elizabeth’s lip quivers and she climbs into Sam’s lap, curling up against her as if she were trying to make herself smaller, trying to hide. Sam holds her tightly, and promises, “You’re safe here, though. You’re safe with me, I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you.”
Sam looks up and meets Janet’s eyes, and she knows they’re both thinking of Cassandra, young and scared.
“You’ll call me if you need anything, all right?” Janet says, voice low, and Sam nods.
“I will,” she says to Janet, and then to Elizabeth- “It’s going to be okay. I promise, it’s going to be okay.”
***
When Jack meets her, she’s clinging to Sam’s leg, half hidden behind her, peering at him with wide, curious eyes.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Sam says, placing her hand on the little girl’s shoulder. “This is Jack. This is my husband.”
“Husband,” she says. “Jack.” She slowly releases her grip on Sam, emerging from behind her.
Jack takes a couple of steps forward and bends down to her level. “Hi,” he says.
She approaches him slowly, glancing back at Sam, who nods at her, smiling. “Jack, this is Elizabeth,” she tells him.
Elizabeth holds out her hand, so formal and cautious.
He takes it, and it feels so small in his own, so fragile, and he knows instantly why Sam couldn’t leave her. “Pleased to make your acquaintance,” he says. “Now. What are your thoughts on ice cream?”
***
Her thoughts on ice cream, as it happens, are overwhelmingly positive, though Sam insists they make her a real dinner beforehand.
“Sam’s sort of a stick in the mud that way,” Jack explains. “But I don’t know, I sort of like her anyway.”
Elizabeth nods at him, solemnly. “I like her too.”
They set up the guest bedroom for her, Sam having procured a nightlight from some mystery corner, and she seems, at first, like she’ll be okay. Sam hugs Elizabeth tightly before tucking her in, and brushes her hair gently away from her face as she tells her, “Jack and I will be right down the hall, okay? And you can call us if you get scared or if you need anything, and we’ll be right here. No matter what time it is.”
She nods and closes her eyes. “Okay.”
They both sit by her bed until she falls asleep.
It’s just over an hour later when she wakes, delirious from the horror of a nightmare. She cries out, and Jack and Sam are by her side in an instant. Sam pulls Elizabeth into her arms as she sobs, promising her, “It’s okay. It’s okay, we’re right here.”
“No! No, Mama, I need Mama!” Elizabeth cries, even as she clings to Sam. “Mama,” she repeats. “Mama, where’s Mama?”
Sam looks up at Jack, and there are tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what to do, Jack. I don’t know what to do for her.”
He sits down on the bed beside them, rubbing Elizabeth’s back as she continues to cry desperately. “Just be here,” he answers. “That’s all we can do.”
It’s a while before her tears slow and subside, but eventually she is quiet, sniffling a bit before she falls asleep again, arms still wrapped around Sam’s neck. Sam manages to adjust their angle until she is laying down on her side, Elizabeth curled up against her, but it’s about as far as she can go. “I can’t get up without waking her,” she says.
Jack leans back against the pillows on the other side of the bed. “Then we stay.”
***
In the morning, Sam frets about leaving Elizabeth, pacing around the kitchen as Jack introduces the little girl to Fruit Loops.
“Elizabeth, honey, I’m going to have to go to work for a little while, okay? But I’ll be home before you know it, I promise.”
Elizabeth puts down her spoon and looks nervously from Sam to Jack, who sits at the kitchen table next to her. “Is Jack going too?”
“Oh, no, honey, Jack will be with you the whole time, you won’t be alone.” She looks at her husband, and bites her lip as she leans against the counter. “Maybe I should take her in with me. I’m just doing lab work today, and I could get her some books or something--”
“Sam,” Jack interrupts. “We’ll be fine. I do know a little something about taking care of a kid.”
He doesn’t mean it to be hurtful, but it makes her face fall anyway, and he wonders how it is that he still hasn’t learned to think before he speaks.
“Jack, I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” but she can’t finish, because she doesn’t know what to say, has never known how to talk to Jack about that part of his life.
“I know,” he cuts her off again. “I know. You’re just worried about her.”
They look at each other for a moment, silent apologies passing between them, before Jack begins to feel awkward and clears his throat. “We’ll be just fine, won’t we, Lizzie?”
She turns to him and tilts her head, tiny brow furrowed. “Lizzie?”
Sam smiles, and Jack nudges Elizabeth’s shoulder. “Yeah, no one called you that back home?”
She shakes her head and slurps up a spoonful of milk. “Just Elizabeth.”
“Well,” he says, “how do you feel about me calling you Lizzie?”
She seems to consider this very seriously, swirling her spoon around in her bowl. “I like it.”
***
Jack decides that the best course of action for Lizzie’s first full day on Earth is an introduction to American cartoons.
“This is a very important part of fitting in on Earth,” he tells her. “You know, not that you need to fit in, you can be however you want to be, but I think it’s a good idea to give you some foundations in the animated medium.”
She giggles at him, and it’s the first time he’s heard her laugh. Yeah, he thinks. They’ll be just fine.
Two hours later, after Jack has stumbled his way through an explanation of why the sponge at the kitchen sink won’t be putting on pants anytime soon, his phone rings. He assumes it will be Sam, checking up on them, but instead it’s Charlotte.
“Hello, Charlotte. I’m sorry, but I’m all tied up and won’t be able to go pants shopping with you today.”
“Oh, Jack. I don’t have time for that today, not all of us lead lives of leisure. I’m calling to see how Elizabeth is doing.”
He rolls his eyes- she’s lucky he likes her so much. “So you’ve heard all about it?”
“Of course I’ve heard. Is she doing all right? Poor thing, I can’t imagine. I just keep thinking about Cassandra when we first brought her home, but Elizabeth’s so much younger.”
“You know,” Jack says, “Janet’s not really supposed to be telling you all of this.”
“Like Sam doesn’t tell you all kinds of classified information?”
Jack makes a face, and hopes it translates through the phone. “That’s different. I was the leader of SG-1. You’re a civilian.”
Charlotte sighs. “Jonathan, she’s my wife. We communicate. She doesn’t tell me anything that could put me in danger. Now, would you answer my question? How is that poor little girl doing?”
“She’s just fine. I’m conducting a workshop for her on one of the world’s finest art forms.”
“Well, I’m dying to meet her. Ladies’ lunch?”
“I wish you wouldn’t call it that,” he laments, although he knows he really shouldn’t complain- she’s at least stopped referring to the two of them as “army wives.”
She ignores him, as he expected, instructing him to meet her at her office in an hour. Her break between appointments is short, but she’ll order in for them.
“Okay, Lizzie,” he says as he hangs up the phone. “We’re going on a lunch adventure.”
“Are we going to see Sam?” she asks, face bright and excited.
“Sam’s pretty busy doing science right now, but she’ll be home later today. You and I are going to go see our friend, Charlotte.”
“Charlotte,” Lizzie says, nodding. “Who’s that?”
“Do you remember Dr. Fraiser, who checked you out when you first got here?”
Lizzie nods again. “I like her.”
“Well, Charlotte’s her wife,” he explains. “She’s a doctor too, but at a regular hospital. She takes care of kids.”
Lizzie looks at him, appearing to turn this over in her mind, before asking, simply, “Wife?”
He wonders if he’s going to have to explain that, suddenly thinking maybe he should have let Sam take Lizzie to work with her. “…Yep?” he says, waiting to be questioned further.
But she only jumps off the couch and bounds toward him, saying, “Ohhh. Are we leaving now?”
***
The hospital makes Lizzie nervous, and as they head towards Charlotte’s office, she grips Jack’s hand so tightly that it starts to hurt. He stops walking, lifts her up into his arms, and tells her, “It’s okay. This is where Charlotte works. She helps people get better.”
Lizzie wraps her arms around Jack’s neck and seems to relax, and he thinks it must be about the tenth time she’s made his heart crack already. When they reach Charlotte’s door, he holds Lizzie with one arm and knocks with his free hand, entering before waiting for an answer.
Charlotte looks up from her computer, and her eyes brighten in excitement as she stands up to greet them. Charlotte is tall, much taller than Janet, though Jack’s always thought they looked like they fit together, anyway. She is redheaded and blue eyed- beautiful, and her expressions tend toward either the very loving, or extraordinarily fierce.
“Jack!” she says. “You’re on time, I’m impressed.”
He rolls his eyes and puts Elizabeth down, and she gazes at Charlotte quietly, remaining close to Jack’s side. “You know, I’ve only been late a couple of times, you really need to work on letting things go.”
Charlotte waves a dismissive hand at him, having clearly tuned him out, and speaks instead to Elizabeth. “Hi, sweetheart. I’m Charlotte.”
Lizzie nods. “Dr. Fraiser’s wife.”
Charlotte smiles at her. “Yes. I’m Dr. Fraiser, too, but you can just call me Charlotte, all right?”
“Okay,” Lizzie nods again, and Charlotte turns her attention back to Jack.
“Well, Jack, it appears you’re an acceptable caretaker. Even if you are dressing her like a vagrant.”
She’s ordered them sandwiches from her favorite deli down the street, and when Elizabeth finishes eating she hops out of her chair and walks around Charlotte’s desk, to stand beside her. She points to a picture of Charlotte, Janet and Cassandra that was taken the year before on Cassie’s birthday. “That’s you? And Dr. Fraiser?”
“Mm hmm,” Charlotte says. “That’s Janet and me. And that’s our daughter, Cassandra.”
“And you’re a family?” Lizzie asks, looking up at Charlotte.
“Yes, we’re a family,” she answers. “We love each other very much.”
Lizzie sighs; a tiny, mournful sound. “I had a family, too.”
Charlotte reflexively puts her hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder as she meets Jack’s eyes across her desk. He looks down, suddenly unable to deal with the way Charlotte always seems to know what everyone’s thinking. Because he can’t, he can’t bear to acknowledge that she’ll know he’s thinking about the family he lost, and the one he found, and that he’s starting to wonder already if his family can’t be Lizzie’s, too.
***
When Sam comes home that evening, Lizzie barrels into her before she even has a chance to take off her jacket. “Sam! I missed you! I met Charlotte today. Are you going away again tomorrow?”
It’s as many words as she’s heard Lizzie string together yet, and she looks at Jack with a raised eyebrow as she returns Lizzie’s hug. “Just how much sugar did you give her, Jack?”
Jack just shrugs, hoping Sam won’t notice that all the ice cream is gone. “Not that much.”
She’s awoken by nightmares again that night, and this time it’s Jack who her little arms find first. It makes something catch in his heart, and looking back he thinks it’s this moment that he knew he could never give her up.
When she falls asleep once more, her small fist gripping a handful of Jack’s t-shirt, Sam whispers into the dark room- “Elizabeth was my mother’s name.”
***
Sam brings Lizzie to work with her in the morning, only half-kidding when she tells Jack it’s because she doesn’t want to come home to find Elizabeth in a sugar coma. She smirks at the wounded expression she gets from her husband, admitting that Janet wants to check on Lizzie again, just to make sure she’s still one hundred percent healthy. (She leaves out the fact that she could hardly work the day before, unable to stop worrying about Lizzie for much longer than thirty minutes at a time.)
Lizzie grins as she sees Janet enter the infirmary. Janet returns her smile as she approaches. “Hello, Elizabeth. Are you having fun with Sam and Jack?”
“Yes,” Lizzie answers. “I met your wife!” she adds, proudly.
A look of very controlled alarm passes over Janet’s face, before she realizes that the infirmary is empty save for the three of them.
Sam looks panicked and apologetic. “Lizzie, that’s… that’s sort of a secret when Janet’s at work, okay, honey?”
“It’s all right, Sam,” Janet says, her voice as kind and calm as always, as she takes out her stethoscope. “We’re alone, no harm done.”
Sam shakes her head, still embarrassed. She’s never quite sure how Janet deals with the stress of having to hide, to lie by omission- she thinks Janet might be the strongest of any of them.
“Sam, don’t worry about it, please. I don’t go through my life worrying about what will happen if it gets out. I’m not ashamed of my family. If it happens, it happens, and I can’t waste my time being afraid of the fallout.”
Sam doesn’t have an answer for that right away, but Janet places a hand on her arm and Sam thinks her face must show how she feels.
Janet listens to Elizabeth’s heart and lungs, checks her eyes and ears and throat, her temperature, her reflexes, and pronounces her healthy for the second time.
“She looks good,” Janet tells Sam. “She’s getting some color back. I think taking her home was the right thing to do.”
Sam strokes Lizzie’s hair gently as she looks up at her friend. “Me too.”
***
That night, Lizzie is woken not by nightmares, but by a thunderstorm. She rushes into Jack and Sam’s bedroom and leaps onto the bed, landing on top of Sam.
“Mmf.” Lizzie doesn’t weigh much, but it’s still not Sam’s favorite way to wake up. She sits up, pulling Lizzie with her. “What’s wrong, honey?”
Sam’s answer is a loud crack that sounds like it’s right above them. Lizzie doesn’t cry, but she shakes pitifully, holding onto Sam in a vice-like grip. Jack stirs next to them, rubbing his eyes as he rolls over and sits up.
“Lizzie’s afraid of the storm,” Sam explains. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s the sound lightning makes. Lightning is a biiig discharge of electricity, and when the electricity hits the air-”
“Sam,” Jack interrupts, voice thick with sleep. “Not now.”
Sam looks confused- that made her feel better when she was little- but Jack seems to have other ideas.
“It’s just a big noise in the sky, Lizzie. It can’t hurt you, I promise.”
She seems unconvinced, shaking her head and tensing up as another clap of thunder sounds.
“Hey,” Jack says. “We haven’t steered you wrong yet, have we? I swear to you, that thunder can’t do anything to you.”
Lizzie’s tiny voice is muffled against Sam: “Can I stay here?”
“Of course,” Sam says, rubbing gentle circles on the little girl’s back.
“How about we tell you a story?” Jack suggests, and Lizzie nods.
“About a princess?”
Sam directs a smirk at Jack, who answers, “Well, obviously about a princess. What do you think this is? All my best stories are about princesses.” He thinks for a moment. “Once upon a time, there was a princess. Named Samantha. She was the smartest princess in all the land, and also the hottest.”
“Jack!” Sam swats at his arm, half-heartedly.
Lizzie looks up. “She had a fever?”
“No, Jack’s just being inappropriate.”
“It means she was very, very pretty, which is not at all inappropriate. Sam’s just uptight. Anyway, she meets this warrior-”
Sam clears her throat.
“She meets this warrior,” he repeats, “and they like each other very much, but they can’t be together, because they work together.”
“The princess works?” Lizzie disentangles herself from Sam, nestling in between them.
“She liked to keep busy.”
“Was she a warrior, too?”
“Yeah, she was like a warrior princess.” Jack pauses. “But not… but not like Xena. That’s different.”
“Who?”
Sam starts to laugh.
“Nevermind,” Jack says. “Anyway, so they liked each other, but their job had a lot of rules, and one of the big ones was that they couldn’t date. So they had to pretend like they were just friends, and even when they got vacation time, they couldn’t go fishing together, because the princess didn’t trust herself alone with the warrior.”
“I think the princess just doesn’t like fishing, Jack.”
“Sam, please don’t interrupt my story.”
Lizzie giggles. “So what happened?”
“Well, they went on all kinds of adventures together. They had a couple of friends who went with them, a really nerdy guy with glasses who could read a lot of different languages, and a really big, tall guy who said ‘indeed’ a lot. They went all over the kingdom, trying to protect the townspeople from some mean snakes. These guys were really obnoxious. You wouldn’t think a bunch of snakes would be that bad, but they were really sneaky.”
Lizzie, beginning to relax, barely notices the next clap of thunder. “What did they do?”
“Oh, what didn’t they do? They took over a bunch of people and made them their slaves, and these people had to take care of their kids. And they stole a bunch of stuff that wasn’t theirs, and tried to be the boss of all the villages in the kingdom.”
Lizzie’s eyes widen. “Did the princess and the warrior stop them?”
Jack takes a moment to answer. “Well, no.”
“That’s not a very good story,” Lizzie says.
Sam looks over Lizzie’s head at Jack. “She has a point.”
“Ah, but that’s not the important part,” Jack says, tapping Lizzie’s nose. “Give me a little credit. The important part is that one day, the warrior decided he was tired of having to pretend like the princess was just his friend. So he quit his job, and asked her to marry him.”
“And she said yes?”
Jack smiles. “She said yes.”
Lizzie sits up a bit, looking excited. “And they lived happily ever after?”
It’s Sam who answers. “Very happily.”
Lizzie leans back again and yawns, blinking slowly. “That’s better.”
***
Two days later, Sam finds herself in the infirmary with barely any recollection of having left her lab.
“Hey, Sam,” Janet says, looking up from her patient- a member of SG-8 who sustained a concussion on his team’s last mission.
Sam says hello, and fidgets, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
“Is there something wrong?” Janet asks.
Sam shakes her head. “Can we talk in your office?”
“Of course.” Janet turns to the injured airman. “You stay here and get some rest, I’ll be back to check on you soon.”
Once inside Janet’s office, Sam slumps into a chair and lets out a nervous puff of air as Janet takes a seat across from her. “Janet… how long did it take before you knew you wanted to adopt Cassie?”
Janet gives her a knowing smile. “About a day,” she answers.
The corners of Sam’s mouth start to turn up, despite the nerves she feels. “I thought so.”
“Charlotte and I… we felt like her parents immediately, like we were meant to become her family. The decision was very easy after that.”
Sam sighs. “I love her so much already, Janet. I can’t… I can’t bear the thought of her belonging to anyone else.”
Janet nods. “I know, Sam. Believe me, I know everything you’re feeling. Have you talked to Jack about this?”
“No. I don’t know… I don’t know how to even begin that conversation. Jack loves kids, and he’s wonderful with them, you know that. But… taking care of a little girl for a few days is one thing. Becoming her father is another entirely.” She pauses, looking down. “He still blames himself for what happened to Charlie.”
Janet reaches across the desk to take Sam’s hand, as Sam begins to lose herself in thought. She never believed she could be anyone’s mother. For years, she was married to the air force- and even later, when she married Jack, she still kept the job that put her life in danger nearly every day. She had loved Cassandra immediately, but she’d known there was no way she could have taken care of her. She wants to believe things are different now, that she’s different now, but…
“You should talk to him about it,” Janet says, drawing Sam out of her silent contemplation. “It’s the only way you’ll know.”
“Yeah,” Sam says. “I know.”
***
After a week has passed, Sam comes home looking distracted. At first, Jack thinks she’s bothered by something top secret at work that she’s not technically allowed to tell him about anymore, but he notices her stealing glances at Lizzie with a look in her eyes like she’s lost something.
When they put Lizzie to bed, Sam reads her two stories and hugs her for about five seconds too long. They sit down in the living room afterwards, because Sam knows she can’t put this off.
“Sam,” he says, and she puts her head in her hands.
“They found someone to take her.”
Jack nods. “I know.”
“It’s one of our guys at the Pentagon. He and his wife have been trying for a child, and…” she trails off, and there’s a lump in her throat that won’t let her continue. He pulls her to him, and she hides her face in his neck and lets out a sob.
He’s been thinking about this, but it’s still a surprise when he hears himself say, “Maybe they could keep trying.”
Sam raises her head to look at him. “Jack,” she says, and somehow there are so many questions in one word. They didn’t talk about children when they got married. They were a bit too old to start having babies, he thought (he was, at least,) and with Sam off-world half the time, it just didn’t seem realistic. He never thought he would have children after Charlie, he never thought he could want any other child after losing his son. He’d thought that finally being with Sam would be all he could ever want or need for the rest of his life, but now he’s met Lizzie, and he needs her too.
“We could keep her,” he says. “Adopt her.”
“Jack, I…” she starts, and her voice is so hopeful. “Would you really want that?”
He holds her more tightly. “We could be good at it, right? We are good at it.”
“I want her,” she says, barely audible. “I want her so much.”
It’s strange, standing on the edge of this life-changing cliff. But somehow, now that he’s here, it’s the easiest decision in the world. “I want her too.”
***
Top secret, codeword clearance military adoptions happen considerably faster than the regular kind, and almost as fast as they can sign their names to the adoption papers, Lizzie becomes Elizabeth Carter-O’Neill. Sam’s heart never felt so full as it does on the day she’s able to tell Lizzie that she has a permanent home, that they’re going to be a family.
She’s been theirs, officially, for six months when it happens. It’s a Saturday afternoon and Sam is home- she’s home every evening now, and actually takes all of her days off. She hasn’t been off-world in months; as soon as they decided to go forward with the adoption, she requested a strictly Earth-based position, and she’s not sure, but she thinks Janet had something to do with how quickly her request was granted. Janet steadfastly refuses to comment, only blinking innocently and replying, “Major Carter, you know I have no influence over your assignments,” when questioned.
Sam and Jack are playing Candy Land with Lizzie, and when Lizzie laughs at the unfortunate card Sam draws from the pile, Sam pounces, tickling the little girl with no mercy.
“No!” Lizzie shrieks, giggling and gasping for breath. “No, Mama, stop!”
Sam freezes, and Lizzie frowns, confused. “You didn’t really have to stop. It was fun.”
Sam shakes her head. “No, it’s not that. Lizzie… do you know what you just called me?”
Lizzie nods. “Mama.”
Sam’s eyes fill with tears, and Lizzie turns to Jack. “What’s wrong? Why did I make her sad?”
Jack pulls Lizzie into his arms and hugs her tightly. “No, you didn’t make her sad. She’s happy.”
“Why?”
Jack kisses Lizzie’s forehead. “Because she loves you.”
Lizzie grins. “And you love me?”
“More than anything.”
Still smiling, she leans in and kisses his cheek. “I love you too, Daddy.”