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Everyone Loves a Bad Boy
"Hey, babe. Welcome back."
Tony dropped a quick kiss to Loki's temple as he passed the god who had collapsed in one of the living room arm chairs. The absolute best part about keeping his identity of Iron Man a secret was that no one came looking for him when he caused trouble. It didn't matter if Iron Man blew up a weapons factory or if Loki enchanted a giant squid to attack San Diego, they could be sitting in his Miami mansion an hour later as if nothing had ever happened.
Loki's head turned to watch the inventor enter the kitchen and he was still looking that way when Tony appeared once more, this time with two cups of coffee. Loki liked his sweet, with two spoonfuls of honey and a bit of orange squeezed in. Tony was more of a purist. He liked his coffee black and hot. He passed the god his cup as he sank down on the armrest.
"Rough day at the office?"
Loki sent him a baleful glare and Tony only grinned in response. They'd long since passed the point in their relationship where the genius was worried about actually upsetting the god. He knew Loki's irritated looks were more for show than anything else. If Tony were to ever really piss him off…well, he was pretty sure he'd know.
"The oaf has returned."
Tony winced, there needed to be no specification as to exactly which oaf Loki was talking about. No wonder he was in a bad mood. He hooked one of his bare feet under the god's leg, rubbing the back on his calf soothingly.
"Seriously? I thought we'd finally gotten rid of Thor when we shoved him through that wormhole into, what was it? Alfheim?"
Loki heaved a heavy sigh and leaned to the side, pressing into the warmth that was his mortal lover.
"It was Nioavellir, the home of the Dvengar."
The dwarves, as they were more likely to be known by mortals, were a tough race. They lived in the cruelest of environments, some going their entire lives without seeing the outside of a mine or forge. They flourished there, though, and were known to be able to wield ax just as easily as they could create one. Their dislike for the Aesir had only made it more appealing to send his dear brother there.
"Apparently he managed to escape their world," Loki continued. "No doubt he had help from Asgard. I had been hoping the loss of Heimdall would cripple them a little bit more than it seems to have…"
Tony nodded along, knowing that the death of Asgard's watcher was a necessary one. It hadn't even been his or Loki's fault, which helped ease the guilt over his happiness at the loss of life. He'd been slain in an attack by the dark elves. Had he remained alive, Tony had no doubt he would have relayed the genius's identity, and Loki's location, to Thor.
"Well, that sucks. They've been downright irritating with all their world-hopping since they got the Tesseract back."
His gaze slid to meet his lover's, mischief glinting from within their depths. A slow smile, wicked and with far too many teeth, stretched across Loki's face in response.
"Why, Anthony, whatever could you possibly be suggesting?"
"Oh, nothing much."
Tony leaned in closer, sliding down off the armrest and slinging a leg across Loki's so he was straddling the god's lap. His coffee was still clutched in one hand, but it had long-since been forgotten. It was habit alone, long ago engrained into Tony's body, that kept the cup from tipping and spilling everywhere.
"I was just thinking," he punctuated the word with a kiss, humming at the feeling of Loki's lips against his own, "that it might be about time we took our little toy back."
A flick of Loki's wrist and the coffee mugs both disappeared, a clatter from the kitchen indicating they'd ended up in the sink. Tony might have been saddened by the loss if his mind weren't already occupied by more important details…like Loki's tongue licking its way into his mouth.
It hadn't taken long to figure out that one of Loki's kinks was Tony's ability to come up with a good plot. The god clearly appreciated cleverness and Tony was more than happy to provide as long as Loki didn't stop whatever it was he was doing with his teeth because good GOD that felt good. Tony whimpered as Loki moved on to kiss along his jaw and bite down savagely on his neck. He opened his mouth to reward Loki the only way he could, a brilliant plan.
"Odin will be expecting something, of course, since Thor just got back, but he won't expect it on Asgard. I say we use your secret passages, sneak in from the-Oh, sweet Jesus! Do that again!"
Loki complied, repeating the intricate move with his tongue once more and making Tony shiver with pleasure. At this rate, he wasn't even going to make it out of his clothes before he made a mess. Somehow, he doubted Loki would mind.
"The guards on the vault will have to be taken down with force, of course, but that shouldn't be a problem. With your shape shifting abilities, it'd be easy to get close enough to silence them without much of a fuss. Then it's just a matter of getting in and grabbing the cube."
He could feel the curve of Loki's smile against his neck and knew the god saw the gaping hole he'd left in his plan on purpose. They both knew it was a taunt, that Tony would not forget something to obvious, but they enjoyed the game too much not to play.
"And what of the Destroyer? It is not a foe easily conquered."
Fingertips skimmed the skin under the hem of Tony's t-shirt, just barely teasing. It was a hint, a glimpse at the reward he would get if he answered correctly. And really, with that carrot dangling before him, how could he not perform at his utmost?
"The Destroyer is just a machine. It's controlled by magic, but a machine none the less. I kind of specialize in those." He was panting now, those fingers inching their way further and further under his shirt. "All we have to do is hit it with some strong EMP bursts. I've already got some that'd work down in the lab. It won't put it down, but it'll be out of commission long enough for us to make our escape."
And then he couldn't speak anymore because Loki's mouth was covering his own, that silver tongue of his living up to its moniker. Everyone thought Thor was the one who was all about togetherness and friendship, but it was Loki who always reacted so nicely to words like 'we' and 'our'. It was something he only ever showed Tony, because Tony was the other half in the 'we' and 'our' equation, and it was a secret the genius would gladly take to his grave.
Tony hadn't meant for things to go quite like this when he'd entered the living room to find that the god had returned home. He'd meant to have a nice little chat, maybe commiserate about how self-righteous Captain America was or how Doom really needed to learn to stay out of their territory, perhaps talk Loki into watching a movie while they snuggled on the couch. He certainly wasn't complaining, though.
Eventually, Loki pulled away, likely because Tony was reaching the point of really needing air. He lay his head on Tony's shoulder, tucking his face into the genius's neck in a way that was not nearly as sexual as it had been moments before. His hands rested on Tony's hips and his thumbs rubbed gently at the patch of skin right above his jeans.
"So we procure the Tesseract and bring it back here. What then? It's presence on Midgard is what called attention to your world in the first place. Surely you do not wish for another Thanos incident."
Tony chuckled, one hand coming up to card through Loki's hair. It was stunning, really, how quickly the couple could flit between moods. Give them another five minutes and they'd either be screaming their hatred for one another or boning on the carpet. It was really a toss up.
"I was actually thinking that might be exactly what we wanted…"
One imperious eyebrow arched and Loki's expression was politely expectant. He knew Tony well enough by this point that he wasn't falling for the shock factor statement. It warmed Tony's chest a little bit, to know he was trusted to not have gone completely mad.
"Think about it. We know that the Tesseract is what Thanos wants. Maybe it's not even about that particular one. Maybe he's interested in any of the Infinity Stones, but that's the one we can get our hands on easiest. He knows he can't storm Asgard for it. He's not ready for that kind of confrontation yet, but he'd probably be willing to give Earth another shot."
He could see understanding bloom in Loki's eyes and he grinned at the thought of the god keeping up with him. There were so few individuals who could that it really excited Tony to be able to watch it happen. Besides, he totally agreed with Loki. Smart was the new sexy. (Not that the god wasn't both. He was totally both.)
"What if we brought the Tesseract back here and dangled it like bait in front of his nose? It wouldn't be easy, but if we were properly prepared and managed to draw him out of whatever cave he's been hiding in…"
He trailed off when he caught the look in Loki's eye. Oh yeah, they were absolutely going to be boning on the carpet.