Chapter Text
Dear Zuko,
Ty Lee stood outside the heavily embroidered doors that led to the Firelord’s private study. One of her sisters’ in arms, Miya, stood to her left, also guarding the door. It was a little past midday and spring just starting to be in full swing.
Growing up in the Fire Nation, Ty Lee barely noticed the way the days slowly got hotter, even with her warriors’ layers. Miya, on the other hand, came from a mountainous village in the Earth Kingdom where they’d still have frost coating the grass this time of year. So she was rather uncomfortable in all her armor, and it showed, in subtle ways.
Ty Lee made a mental note to teach her some tricks to stay cool while wearing layers.
As I’m writing this to you, Momo is trying to steal my stylus…
From inside the room, there was a soft noise, like furniture moving. A beat of silence, and then they could hear movement followed by cursing.
Ty Lee bit her tongue to contain her giggle. Spending 3 years at sea, with hardened sailors, had taught Zuko a litany of swear words Ty Lee had never heard before in her life. Even after being one of his personal guards for over five years, she was still hearing new curses weekly.
She doubted Iroh was happy about Zuko’s startlingly wide vocabulary.
...and as you can see by the footprints at the top of the page, Hawky is also partaking in making this extra difficult…
Miya straightened her posture as the door creaked open. Zuko stepped out with Druk nestled around his neck, like a scarf, and his hair completely loose. He wasn’t wearing his ornamental armor either. He looked slightly paler than usual and held an opened letter in his hand.
He began to walk down the hall. Ty Lee didn’t miss a beat as she followed, used to Zuko’s subtle body language. Miya wasn’t and took a moment to catch up.
“Where is Toph?” Zuko asked.
“I believe Miss Beifong is in the training hall,” Miya said quickly. She was new to this job and therefore eager to prove herself. Zuko nodded once and adjusted to head that way instead.
...Anyway, how are you?
They stood by the door of the training hall as Zuko and Toph spoke. They both seemed on edge and rather worried. Eventually, Toph stood up and left in a hurry, holding the letter Zuko had walked in with.
Ty Lee couldn’t help but be worried. Toph was rarely explicitly concerned. Even Miya had picked up on this fact, though she looked more terrified of Toph than worried.
I miss you and the little ones very much. Kuei and Bosco are the knock-off version of you and Druk: same basic dynamic (world-leader-who-loves-theatre and their pet-that’s-crazy-rare-and-dangerous) but far less cute.
They were walking back to his private study when they were interrupted. There was a familiar squeal from down the hall perpendicular to them, hitting a note an octave higher than what was required to break glass.
Ty Lee prided herself in teaching the young girl how to squeal so well.
“Daddy!!” The small Fire Princess came charging down said hallway as fast as her tiny legs could take her.
“Izumi,” Zuko cooed, dropping to his knees immediately and opening his arms to his small daughter. He was grinning widely.
How’s our baby girl? I miss her the mostest!
Druk moved to Zuko’s lap seconds before Izumi hugged her father tightly, arms around his neck.
Ty Lee smiled widely at the scene, her heart melting a little. It always melted whenever she saw Zuko and Izumi. Every time, it was reconfirmed for her that Zuko would never be like Ozai. Ozai’s care was blatantly conditional and superficial. Zuko’s care was blatantly un conditional and pure.
Give her an extra kiss every night for me, will you? Sing her a song for me, yeah?
“Can we feed the turtleducks, daddy?” Izumi asked as soon as she pulled back, eyes wide and hopeful. It was a look Zuko would never have the heart to deny.
“Have you finished with Sifu Komori?” Zuko looked up at the tutor who was walking with Izumi. The young princess bit her lip and looked away. It was clear she hadn’t. Sifu Komori bowed her head slightly.
“We hadn’t, your majesty. We were going to visit the library to look at atlases,” Komori answered honestly, peeking up at Izumi.
Izumi huffed, cheeks pink, and crossed her arms. “I don’t wanna to look at atlases.”
Zuko frowned, clearly torn. He looked between his daughter and Komori.
“If it is alright with Your Majesty, we can always simply go slightly longer next week,” Komori offered, letting a small smile slip onto her face.
“How does that sound, Mimi?” Zuko asked his daughter, “You get to be done early today but go longer next week.”
Izumi considered for a moment, before nodding. “Okay, daddy. Turtleducks now?” She looked hopeful again, clamping her hands, begging.
Zuko smiled again and nodded. “Thank you, Sifu Komori. You may go,” he said to the woman, who bowed back.
Druk moved to drape himself on young Izumi’s shoulders as Zuko picked her up easily. They began to walk towards the gardens.
As for work, things are rough out here. Who knew so many people were so hateful?
She’s not on shift that next day. That doesn’t stop Ty Lee from going to the courtyard when Appa lands though. She doesn’t have to be on duty to worry about Zuko.
It’s barely past dawn and there’s still the remnants of pink on the horizon. Even from the doorway, she can see the grim, beige auras that cloud everyone.
Avatar Aang and his fiancée Katara climb off Appa. Toph and Zuko greet them.
Don’t worry about me though, darling. It’s nothing I can’t handle!
Mai sneaks up on her, like she usually does. Even after 2 decades of her company, Ty Lee still jumps. Mai’s just too quiet, or maybe Ty Lee is just too focused.
“What’s going on?” Mai’s cold arms wrapped around her bare midriff.
“Zuko got a threat. This is one of the credible ones. Don’t know exactly what it says,” Ty Lee shuddered, leaning into her girlfriend.
“Firelady Mai, your morning bath is ready,” a servant approached and bowed lowly.
“Mm, I'm sure it'll be fine; it always is. Now, do you want to join me?” Mai asked softly, looking up at Ty Lee’s eyes best she could.
Ty Lee couldn’t hide her giggle; anything to get away from the grave beige that bathed the courtyard. “Your aura is pink.” That was a yes and they both knew it.
I think I may have found the extremists’s hideout. If I have, I don’t know how we didn’t find them before; it’s so obvious!
Ty Lee was back on duty the next day, standing at the door while Zuko and Mai spoke with their advisors. Their personal advisors, Ichizo, Kenji, Shojiro, Fumika, and Toph, all seemed to have differing opinions on the matter.
“—These terrorists are threatening your lineage, your majesty. The safest course of action to have more children just in case,” Shojiro said clearly, but nervously.
“There is no need for that, because nothing will happen to Izumi,” Zuko snapped back, glaring. He didn’t like Shojiro’s implications.
“Of course, your majesty. Shojiro is just preparing for the worst case scenario,” Kenji tried to placate Zuko, who was only getting more and more upset. In his lap, Druk snarled at the advisors, some smoke coming from his nose.
“We’re not having another child,” Mai said firmly, speaking for the first time. Her eyes snapped up to Kenji and Shojiro, giving them her classic glare. The one that makes most people start to shake in fear.
I’ll send another letter in a couple days, after I’ve staked the place out better. So you’ll get another message soon, I promise, darling.
“If I may, your majesties, I propose heavier security on the princess,” Fumika offered, “Perhaps more guards, especially when she’s out of the palace.”
“I don’t want her to know anything is wrong. While these people are credible, they could also be bluffing,” Zuko seemed to calm a little speaking with Fumika. He didn’t want to accept that his daughter was in danger.
“Your majesties, we must treat it as if they truly are planning an attack,” Ichizo added quietly. He was always a quiet man.
“Guards seem like the only option.” He ran a hand through his hair, messing up his topknot. “What do you think, Toph?”
Toph had been picking at her toes. “I think it doesn’t matter. I’m going to kill them before they can do anything,” she drawled, pausing her picking, “But if you're looking for a precautionary option, I’d say only put one extra guard with Izumi, so she doesn’t worry too much.”
“I like that option best,” Mai hummed.
“It’s settled then. One of the Kyoshi Warriors will be with Izumi whenever we aren’t with her and one extra guard outside her door at night.”
Besides, I have Suki with me—and we both knew she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me!
It happens while Mai and Ty Lee are shopping out in the city. They spend the morning and part of the afternoon in shops. Ty Lee gets some new clothes to do her acrobatics in. Mai finds a new kind of eyeliner. They have a late lunch at a small soup restaurant.
During then, something happens. By the time they’re walking back to the palace, the market is full of whispered gossip. No one is quite sure what’s true and what’s not. Mai makes a point to tune all of it out, but she still notices the hushed tension.
I can’t wait to get home to you, Zuko. It’s only been a month, but it feels like eons!
Everyone is in the courtyard. Somehow, Appa isn’t the loudest one there. Though the sky bison is baying, it’s Katara who is loudest. She's laughing, tears streaming down her face, while she sits on the steps. The pipes to the fountain nearby were spraying wildly. She’s shaking violently. Aang and Toph are holding each other. Toph is weeping into Aang’s shirt while he buries his face in her hair. Zuko is saying something while he’s on his knees, sobbing and shouting at nothing. It’s hard to understand his words. The courtyard’s stone is cracked and jagged, uneven.
Ty Lee knows the aura of death, white and unrelenting. She paled. “What’s going on?” Mai moved forward quickly, without her usual grace.
There was the unmistakable carrier dove perching on the broken fountain, cooing innocently. Mai snatched the paper. As she read slowly, she covered her mouth, shock grabbing her. “Sokka… he’s been murdered,” she whispered to Ty Lee, not looking up from the letter.
The courtyard was drowning in white.
When I see you again, after all this is over, I’m going to kiss you until you’re breathless…
With the help of the Order of the White Lotus, it took Iroh a little over a day and a half to reach Caldera City. Upon arriving, he was met by Toph, who was dressed head to toe in white, at the front doors. White banners hung on the pillars.
She hugged him tightly. He started to speak and she cut him off. “We can talk later. He needs you now, Uncle,” She mumbled into him, trying not to start crying again. Iroh hugged her back tightly, nodding.
“Thank you, Toph.” He kissed her forehead. They parted and Iroh moved quickly to try to find his nephew.
He wasn’t in his bedroom or his study. He wasn’t in the library or the training hall. He wasn’t with Mai—who had white chrysanthemums in her hair and was holding Ty Lee close—or Aang—who was adorned in his own white robes and was meditating over a handmade vigil—or Katara—who was still in blue, and snapped that Sokka wasn’t dead , that he couldn’t be dead, he’s my brother, it’s probably just one of his pranks, he wouldn’t leave me .
...and I will tell you how attractive you are until your cheeks get that adorable pink!
When Iroh finally found him, Zuko was in the gardens, sitting on a wooden bench. He was dressed head to toe in white, and he was gazing at the sky. It was after sunset and the air had chilled. The moon bathed the garden in white—how fitting.
He was looking off, eyes glazed over. His hands were folded passively in his lap, fingers loosely curled around a single white lily. Druk sat at his feet, looking like a guard animal.
Iroh couldn’t help but be reminded of Zuko’s mother. Here, with his hair down, dressed in white, looking so sad, Iroh remembered the night after Lu Ten’s funeral, when the two of them had just sat on that very same bench for hours. It was only by Azulon’s order that they had ever gotten up.
That’s what Zuko looked like in that moment: lost in the depths of mourning, weighed down by chains of guilt, willfully accepting the idea of wasting away while his lungs filled with despair.
Iroh knew the feeling well.
You’ll probably whine about my flattery, but I never lie to you. You’re as amazing as I say and more!
“Nephew,” Iroh said softly and sat next to him. Zuko’s nostrils flared as he inhaled the warm air. That was all he did. Nothing indicated he was even aware of Iroh at that moment.
Knowing Zuko was likely unable to function to his full capacity—he himself had been inconsolable for many weeks after the death of his wife—, he looked at the moon too.
Distantly, Iroh remembered watching Princess Yue of the Northern Water Tribe become the moon after Zhao had killed Tui. He remembered how Sokka had gripped her body and wept. His heart ached; Sokka would be missed dearly.
Spirits, you don’t know how much this distance is killing me. Once I return, I’m never going on long trips again.
When the dawn begins to rise, Iroh looks towards his nephew, whose eyes are now staring at the colors that sunrise brings, as if he hasn’t seen it a hundred times over.
Iroh knows it’s different now. Your first sunrise without your soul’s other half is… indescribably hard.
“I miss him, Uncle.” Zuko’s voice is hoarse and raw. It cracks when he refers to Sokka. His nephew closes his eyes and Iroh knows he would begin to cry, but is likely too dehydrated and exhausted.
“Come now,” Iroh said softly, reaching over, he took Zuko’s hand, “Let’s get you rested.” He gently helped him stand, before guiding him into the palace once again.
At least Suki has a couple of her girls here! I just have Momo, Hawky, and my letters to you.
As they round the corner, down the hallway of Iroh’s room—Zuko’s not ready to go back to his own room—, the Crown Princess was skipping their direction.
Instantly, it was clear no one had told her yet. She held a bundle of dandelion and was dressed in her favorite red shirt and trousers with blue socks. When she saw her uncle and dad, she squealed and raced towards them.
About two thirds of the way there, she slowed and her entire expression dropped. She sensed something was very wrong. “Uncle, why is daddy sad?” She turned to Iroh, watching him with big eyes.
Iroh sighed and glanced at Zuko. His nephew's guilt and grief rolled off him in waves. He knelt in front of Izumi.
I have to go now; I’m being summoned!
He opened his mouth to speak, but Zuko placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright, Uncle,” he spoke shakily, “I can do it.”
There was no argument.
Izumi frowned deeper. Zuko reached his hand out. “Let’s talk in Uncle’s room, okay, Mimi?” She bit her lip and took his hand, dropping her flowers.
The three of them all entered Iroh’s suite and Zuko pulled Izumi up to sit on the bed with him. He sat with his back against the headboard. She sat with her legs crossed across from him, trying to read his face. Being as young as she was, she wasn’t able to find anything conclusive.
In the corner, Iroh began to brew some jasmine tea.
Again, darling, you’ll get another letter in a few days…
“What do you mean?” Izumi cocked her head.
“ Ataata isn’t coming home, Mimi,” Zuko repeated, voice cracking.
“Yes he is.” She spoke with such conviction. “Don’t cry, daddy, he’ll be home from the Earth Kingdom soon!”
“No, I—“ he forced himself to remember his breathing techniques. “He’s with the spirits now. He’s… he’s with the moon spirit.” As soon as he said it, he knew it must be true; Yue would never let Sokka’s soul simply go to the afterlife—Sokka was worth so much more than an ordinary afterlife.
Iroh and Izumi looked surprised by his words but he felt them to be true.
...and I send all my love, all my hugs, and all my kisses. For my favorite people in the world!
She looked down. “No.”
Iroh and Zuko looked surprised now.
She looked back up. “I know it, daddy. Ataata will come home.” She moved and cuddled into his side. “I will wait every day by the door for him until he does.”
He looked up at his uncle and made a strangled, pained noise in his throat. Izumi hugged him tighter. Despite the lack of water in his body, he began to cry again.
(Don’t try to say something funny: I’m talking about you and Izumi (don’t tell Katara I said wrote that))
That evening, there is a public vigil in the city. A portrait of Sokka is surrounded by thousands of people with candles or a flame in their palm, solemnly singing songs traditionally meant to help guide the dead to their afterlife and let those who judge their soul know that they were loved.
People have come from all over. It’s only been 36 hours since they found out, and hundreds of people from neighboring cities and villages have come.
The vigil will remain for several days, and, according to his advisors, only more people will come. Toph said that she knew a few people from the Earth Kingdom who would be coming.
“Kuei wanted to come,” she had told him, “I told him not to. Told him, he’d be invited to formal service.” He had just nodded, at the time.
Tui and La! They’re yelling my name louder! I really gotta go, darling…
He stood on the balcony in Aang’s suite, watching the vigil below. His room had a better view, but he couldn’t go in there yet.
Aang was breathing heavily behind him, asleep. Zuko glanced back at him, then at Druk, curled up at his side.
“C’mon,” he breathed softly to the dragon. Motioning, he easily jumped over the balcony railing and scaled down the palace walls. Druk flew down slowly, staying equal to Zuko’s level.
At some point in the descent, his hair had come out and he had lost his shoes. It didn’t matter. He was determined—and even if it was a tiny flicker against the ocean of misery he felt, he was clinging to it anyway, just to feel something else.
…I’ll see you soon.
Zuko held a steady flame and stood among his people, singing along softly. He kept his head bowed, his hair covering most of his face.
His voice cracked during one song, and an older woman next to him, who was holding a young girl close, gave him an understanding smile. She also had tears on her cheeks.
After that, Zuko moved through the crowd slowly, until he stood in the front row. The people there were swaying together as they sang.
He found he didn’t mind this.
Don’t forget to give Izumi double the love!
Gradually—so gradually Zuko didn’t notice until it was too late—the voices faded out to silence as people realized who he is: the firelord .
His sense of community wasn’t dulled. He felt they just needed a small push to continue.
He slowly stepped forward. His legs were shaking. He heard Druk descend from where he had been resting, perched on a roof. The dragon settled for sitting at his feet.
Zuko kept his fire going. His back was to the crowd and he was standing at the base of the vigil. After a minute of silence and held breaths, Zuko knelt, barefoot with his hair loose.
Distantly, a small voice said this was disgraceful. He ignored it. What was the point in elegance if the one held his heart was gone?
He began to sing.
Yours, always and forever…
A second person joined when he reached the end of the first verse. By the end of the second, there was a handful singing. By the end of the whole song, half of the crowd was singing along. By the end of the second song, everyone had joined back in.
Their voices rose high in the air, filled with grief and pain and emotion .
Zuko kept his back to his people the whole time they sang. He was pretty sure no Fire Nation nobility had ever done this before: knelt with their back to their people, unarmed and without regalia, without guards, and sang .
Sokka ♥
They went through hundreds of songs. Eventually, the sun began to rise. He heard nothing to indicate people would be going home now.
As the sun finished rising, he stood, legs shakier than when he had originally knelt. A joint popped. He paid no mind. He faced his people.
At some point, they had all moved to sit, because now, they were all sitting on the cobblestone road. They followed his lead.
He took a deep breath and gazed out at them, trying to make eye contact with as many people as he could.
“With the way I was raised, I had expected to have to bear the burden of this loss alone. Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe was a man very close to my heart. My wife mourns more for my grief than for Sokka himself, for they were not overly close. Avatar Aang does not bear loss the way we do, and therefore cannot truly understand how it is for us here and now, after having lost so much. His sister, Katara, has simply gone into denial.
"I thought I was alone. But seeing all of you sing and mourn has shown me how self absorbed I have been. This is not my loss alone; this is the world's loss. This is the loss of the best of the water tribesmen, this is the loss of one of the best strategists of the entire 100 year war, this is the loss of a man who took out hundreds of my father's war blimps when he was going to raze the Earth. This is the loss of the man whom I love the most.”
Then he did something he knew no other Firelord had dared to do: he set his hands, and bowed lowly. He was barefoot and without any royal formalities, just raw appreciation and respect.
“So, I thank you all for not only guiding his soul with your hymns, by my soul as well. My heart may still ache, but now, I know that I am not alone. None of you can understand how deeply I mean it when I say, thank you.”
P.S. I love you