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If You Think Re:Vale Run Their Household, WRONG. It's Yuki's Bird. (She is Lord and Lady and to be FEARED)

Summary:

How do I even describe this. Re:Vale + Their Pets = ???? I fail at this inadequate summary. Maybe try the tags.

Notes:

I am crap as summaries and titles so THERE, I pulled that from somewhere.

This is a bit more Re:Vale-centric than pet-centric but, oh well. Who cares, not me.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Darling, where's Chika?" Momo yelled worriedly. He couldn't exactly go find the bird with his hands full.

Their hamsters were selfish, selfish creatures. They wanted all of Momo's love.

None of Yuki's.

"She's with me!" Yuki said, "Feeding Marshmallow!"

Momo sighed in relief. Sometimes, he thought, their home seemed to be overrun.

Even though they only owned a bird (Chika), a rabbit (Marshmallow), a snake (Choco), a betta fish (Raspberry), and two hamsters (Banana and Olive).

Alright now, Momo had to start from the top here.

Chika's was Yuki's, before Momo-and-Yuki Re:Vale. Like, back when there was still Ban-and-Yuki Re:Vale. She tolerated Ban, Momo, and Okarin, but she loved Yuki. L O V E D. Nothing could stop her. End of story.

Marshmallow was a tiny baby bunny back when he'd been abandoned in a cardboard box at one of their concerts. They'd immediately taken him in, and ever since he'd grown and gotten really attached to them. Really .

Choco was a tiny snake they'd recently taken in. Momo's sister had found the neighborhood kids surrounding her curiously, and had asked Momo and Yuki to take her. They'd agreed, and Momo discovered that she only ate tiny mice. Even so, she was totally adored as the baby of the home.

Raspberry was a betta fish Yuki had - surprisingly - brought home on a trip to the pet shop. Momo had been startled but delighted when Yuki confessed he'd bought him because Raspberry reminded him of Taiyou no Esperanza . Now he happily swam around in a five gallon tank. Sometimes Momo secretly thought Raspberry and Chika conspired to kidnap his darling.

Banana and Olive were Momo's hamsters. He still couldn't remember where or when he'd gotten them. Sometimes Momo called them Ban and Okarin, after certain people. As above, they were selfish, selfish creatures; Momo didn't know why they adored him and not his darling - after all, Yuki was so handsome and smart and kind! - but they did.

Another thing Momo also didn't know was why all of their pets had food-related names (except Chika). It had sort of just. . . happened .

Gently Momo set Banana and Olive back in their hamster house - they chittered about the sad loss of Momo's warm hands - and went to feed Choco. The tiny snake watched as Momo prepped a tiny mouse and fed it to her. He cooed as she swallowed it.

Momo blew Yuki a playful kiss as he saw him go feed Raspberry, Chika on his shoulder. He gave Momo a small smile in return. Momo grinned as he went to wait on the couch.

After a few minutes Yuki joined him on the couch, minus Chika. He sighed tiredly, nearly collapsing on Momo's shoulder. Momo looked at him worriedly. "What's wrong, Darling?"

"Tired," Yuki mumbled, "Sleeping now."

"Let me help you to your room then," Momo said fretfully, "At least get a pillow, Darling!"

"Momo's right," Yuki mumbled sleepily, almost to himself, "Pillow." Before Momo could mentally congratulate himself on his victory, Yuki moved from leaning on his shoulder to having his head in Momo's lap. "Don't move, Momo," Yuki mumbled, promptly falling asleep.

Momo nearly had a panic attack. No! He wasn't worthy of being his darling's pillow!

Momo tried to steady his breathing as he flicked on the TV. Nothing interesting caught his eye, so he settled on watching a rerun of one of Yamato's dramas. He ran his fingers through Yuki's soft, silver hair as he watched.

○|○|○|○|○

An hour later the drama had ended and Momo had fallen asleep - only to wake up now with something on his face. He opened an eye to find Chika glaring at him, angrily chirping in his face.

"Look!" Momo protested, pointing at Yuki, who was still peacefully asleep in his lap, "Darling's fine!"

Chick glared at him, unimpressed. She continued angrily chirping in his face. Momo groaned, moving her from his face to his shoulder as his thoughts wandered.

There was a calendar hung by the TV. Even though the month and year were off, Momo still kept it, because it had been a birthday present from Ban. Besides, each month featured cute baby animal pictures. It made Momo want to add sea otter pups and lion cubs as permanent members of their home.

And pictures. Like, a lot . Though Momo secretly thought Yuki hung them up, his partner confessed to nothing. Momo didn't even know where he'd gotten them, only that they kept appearing.

Momo as a child playing soccer. Yuki as a teen tuning a guitar. Yuki and Ban. Yuki and Momo. Momo and Ban. All three of them. Ban holding a fire extinguisher on his birthday. Okarin tipsy. Chika. Marshmallow. Choco. Raspberry. Banana. Olive. Onstage with fans cheering. Offstage greeting the staff. The IDOLiSH7 kouhai. The TRIGGER kouhai. The IDOLiSH7 and TRIGGER kouhai. Them with the kouhai. Hoshimeguri. Ainana Police. Their debut. Their reunion with Ban. All the managers.

And a lot more. Momo loved all these little moments of their life, captured forever. The newest seemed to be a picture of the both of them asleep. It looked suspiciously like-

Hey! That was them! Like half an hour ago! Before Momo woke up! When was Yuki awake to hang the picture, much less take it and print it ?!

Yuki mumbled something in his lap and turned his head. Chika chirped happily, probably glad that Momo hadn't killed him. Momo winced - he'd forgotten Chika was on his shoulder.

Yuki sleepily pried open his eyes as Momo ran a hand through his hair. "Hey," He said softly, nuzzling Momo's hand. Chika half-hopped half-flapped down from his shoulder and settled on Yuki's stomach, chirping happily.

Momo smiled and pointed at the picture. "Darling, how did you get that up without waking me?"

Yuki affected a look of surprise and confusion. "I was sleeping the whole time," He said.

"Why won't Darling tell me anything," Momo moaned dramatically, "Does Darling not love me anymore?" He gave Yuki the puppy eyes and mournful look.

Yuki looked away. "It's not that, Momo," He said, turning back and reaching up to caress Momo's cheek. He leaned into the touch.

Re;Vale's husband-and-wife act wasn't completely fake. On the other hand, though, it wasn't like they were in a relationship either.

It was complicated. It may also have been a platonic relationship. Who knows.

But despite everything, Yuki's hand was soft and comforting on his cheek. Momo closed his eyes. He wouldn't trade this sensation for anything in the world.

Momo still remembered the moments back when everything was peaceful. When he was still the loyal fan/assistant of Ban-and-Yuki Re:Vale, and they'd invited him to the apartment. He absolutely couldn't refuse - they were his idols, after all! - and so he'd been reluctantly dragged there. He'd nearly fallen asleep between them, a hand on each of his cheeks - Ban's, always warm; Yuki's, always cold. He had gotten so used to it that, once, Ban's had been cold and Yuki's had been warm, and they'd laughed at his surprised face.

Momo was violently snapped out of his thoughts by Chika, jealously pecking his cheek. Yuki laughed. "None of that, Chika," he said, pulling her into his hands. Momo pouted.

"Chiiiiiiika! So mean!" He complained. She glared at him as Yuki laughed. He grinned, Yuki sitting up and leaning on Momo as Chika hopped up to his shoulder. He mock-pouted.

"Now, now, Momo," Yuki said, tsking softly, "Pouting ruins your cute face."

Momo pouted even more. "Darling, there's no way I'm cute!"

Yuki laughed, Chika settling into the crook of his neck. "There's no way you're not cute, Momo."

Momo grinned.

Epilogue 1

"Look, everyone!" Riku yelled excitedly, waving his phone to the collective faces of IDOLiSH7 and TRIGGER, who were visiting, "Momo-san replied!"

"Please be more specific, Nanase-san," Iori said flatly, "I'm sure no one knows what you are talking about."

"The next time you talk to my baby brother like that, Izumi Iori," Tenn threatened, "We're going to have a serious talk ."

"Tenn!" Ryuu pleaded. Iori remained unimpressed.

"Oh, Riku !" Nagi exclaimed excitedly, " Let me borrow your phone !" Riku handed him his phone.

"How'd you get a photo like this, eh, Riku?" Mitsuki said wryly as he accepted the phone from a squealing Nagi.

Riku bounced up and down, somehow ending up in Iori's general vicinity and slinging his arms around his neck. Iori blushed. "So you know how Tenn-nii and I exchange selfies of Mugi and Nin?" Riku chirped excitedly. Everyone nodded and looked at Mugi and Nin, who were napping together. "Well, I made a collage and sent it to Momo-san! And he replied!"

Gaku snorted. "Aw, look, the brat's blushing." Tenn glared at him.

"Momorin and Yukirin sure have a lot of pets," Tamaki observed duly before handing the phone to Sogo, whose eyes widened.

"You're not wrong, Tamaki-kun," He said, passing the phone to Yamato, who laughed.

"Onni-san thinks the senpai have too many pets."

Epilogue 2

Momo and Ban laughed, hiding behind Yuki. "Hide us, Yuki!"

Yuki looked at them questioningly. "It's just Chika, you two."

They grinned and mock-gasped. "The fearsome Lady Chika! Have mercy on our poor souls!"

Chika looked at them haughtily. They burst out laughing.

Yuki shook his head. "I don't get it, Ban, Momo-kun," He said, frowning through his short silver hair.

Slowly they stopped laughing, still grinning. "It's nothing, Yuki," Ban said. Yuki huffed and sat on Momo's other side.

Momo started when he felt two hands on his cheeks. "Eh? Momo-kun?" Ban said, short blue hair falling into his eyes. Momo turned red and stuttered, eyes practically turning in swirls and steam blowing out of his ears.

"I think we broke him, Ban."

Notes:

Comments and kudos appreciated!