Chapter Text
Artie invited Rachel, Kurt, Puck, Brittany, Santana, Quinn, Tina, Mike & Mercedes to the chat.
Artie named the chat "The New Directions".
Artie: Welcome dear friends. I thought the original members of 2009-2010 should have a group chat.
Rachel: Sounds great, Artie!
Kurt: Yeah... just one question though.
Kurt: Why is there only 10 members?
Artie: Finn is here in spirit <3
Rachel: <3
Mercedes: <3
Santana: <3
Puck: <3
Mike: <3
Tina: <3
Quinn: <3
Brittany: <3
Brittany: Wait why are we sending pacmans eating boobs
Puck: I-
Tina: THANKS NOW I CAN'T UNSEE IT
Santana: Sweetie that's a heart
Brittany: That's a very ugly heart if you ask me 3>
Kurt: aNyWay
Kurt: I get why Finn's not here, but we're still missing one member.
Artie: That's impossible, I counted everyone twice!
Mercedes: Yeah it's weird, we were 12 but it felt like it only were us 11
Tina: Who are we missing
Mike: Oh god
Tina: What?
Quinn: What?
Quinn: Oh jinx
Mike: MATT
Rachel: Who?
Mike: MATT. REMEMBER HIM?
Quinn: Oh yeah... didn't he play football?
Puck: Yeah he did! Fuck.
Brittany: Fuck by Puck.
Artie: He... didn't talk much, did he?
Quinn: No...
Mike: No, he was more of a listener.
Santana: He and I had a fling or something for a while?? Or no not really but we were like, standing next to each other and people thought we were having something
Mercedes: Wtf lol
Rachel: Ooookaaaay, let's just invite Matt!
Artie: ... I don't know his name here
Kurt: You could literally just search up "Matt", and i'm sure he would come up. I mean, we all have our names.
Artie: That's because I named you that for this chat.
Santana: So we can't change it?? Dammit I want to name Brittany "Scissor Queen"
Artie: YOu can do that in the comfort of your own chat.
Artie: Also, changing everyone's names to nicknames can be pretty confusing if there's a lot of characters. Trust me, I have been there.
Santana: I'm not a fucking character, four eyes. I'm a real person!
Brittany: Calm down babe, if you're a character people can write sexy stuff for you and you don't have to do anything other than enjoy it.
Rachel: You two are very cute, but please keep your inappropriate talk outside of the chatroom.
Santana: Oh, like we ever have done that before? PLEASE
Mike: Matt doesn't have this platform, sadly. He is very private.
Mercedes: That's a bummer.
Artie: So, what's on your minds?
Mercedes: Tater tots.
Kurt: Show tunes.
Rachel: Me.
Tina: Rachel that's the most accurate thing I have heard.
Rachel: Oh shut it Tina <3
Brittany: I'm thinking about blondes and how we can expand our magical powers.
Kurt: Can you expand on that, Britt
Brittany: Everyone knows blondes have magical powers, like doing the splits or turning swedish.
Quinn: Japp!
Puck: Wait, that's how you spell "yup"?
Quinn: In swedish, it is.
Brittany: Eftersom Quinn är blond så kan hon också börja prata svenska.
Puck: Can someone translate I don't read Brittanese
Quinn: Det där var svenska, din idiot
Artie: I understood nothing but "idiot"
Santana: Please, they're only using google translate.
Brittany: Jag sitter bokstavligen bredvid dig, Santana. Ser det ut som jag använder google översätt?
Quinn: Blondiner är magiska.
Tina: What is going on??
Kurt: Oh Brittany and Quinn is flexing with their magical powers of turning swedish
Tina: Seems legit. Can Sam do it, too?
Brittany: Nej.
Rachel: ...that means "no", right? I think I know that much.
Tina: But Sam is blonde?
Quinn: Magin funkar bara på blonda kvinnor, inte män
Santana: Ok Britt, speak to me out loud so I know you're not just using google translate.
Santana: OMG GUYS
Santana: I'm-
Santana: So Brittany just sang this song with a perfect swedish accent?? https://youtu.be/zvq9r6R6QAY
Quinn: Britt, vad säger du? Ska vi sjunga den låten tillsammans?
Brittany: Kan vi inte citera svenska memes istället?
Quinn: Ingen som läser detta kommer ens förstå svenska memes.
Brittany: "Nåå I don't think så"
Quinn: xD
Tina: Did she just say "No I don't think so" but with a very weird spelling?
Brittany: Yeah, it's from this video of a swede sucking at speaking english: https://youtu.be/FF0bA3kVSMo
Santana: Brittany that man is super racist wtf
Brittany: Yeah, that's why he was cursed with bad english.
Mercedes: Sounds legit