Work Text:
“This is Alex.” Odin said, gesturing to the newcomer at the table who had green hair and was wearing the most unusual outfit Magnus had ever seen a spy wear. “Alex will be joining your team.”
The team greeted Alex; nodding, waving, saying hello.
“Alex will be the disguise leader on your team.” Odin said. “And the new quartermaster.” his watch beeped. “I have to go and do the increased productivity workshop for the PR department. Get to know each other! And then get back to work. I’ll be in touch about your next mission.”
Odin left.
“You won’t be.” Sam muttered once Odin had left the meeting room and shut the door. “Right, Alex, I’m Sam, I'm in charge. This is Magnus, he hits stuff and fixes injuries. Blitz makes disguises, Hearth blows stuff up. Sometimes the rest of us get a go. Halfborn hits stuff, Mallory stabs stuff, TJ shoots stuff. I’m Muslim, Mallory’s Irish, Halfborn is Norwegian, Hearth is deaf. TJ never says no to a challenge, Blitz always has a parachute on him and Magnus has a weird pet computer programme called Jack.”
“Okay. I’m genderfluid. Right now I use she/her pronouns. I’ll tell you when it changes. And I’m not the new disguise master.”
Blitzen, who had been gripping the arm of his chair so hard I thought ti was going to snap, let out an audible sigh of relief. “Thank the worms.”
“You've clearly all seen my outfit.” Alex gestured to the neon pink shirt and trousers she was wearing with dark green trainers with silver laces. “It’s obvious that while I am terrible at coming up with my disguises, I can blend in very well. I know quite a few languages and any language I don’t speak I can do the accent for. And I will be the new quartermaster. Clearly Odin is just as…” Alex paused for a moment. "Just as I had been warned.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is un-organised and inefficient.” TJ said.
“That's three words.” Mallory told him.
“Be quiet.”
“Are you staying at the compound?” Magnus asked Alex.
Alex shook her head. “I have my own flat. It comes with my cover job.”
“You got anything good?” Mallory asked, swinging her feet up onto the table and pulling a knife out of a pocket that she began to twirl between her fingers. “We got a bakery. It was awful.”
“It would have been brilliant because we could have got lots of cake except their employees were terrible and spent more time hacking into computers than actually doing any baking.” Sam pointed out.
“We had no idea they were spies.” Halfborn defended. “And out tech should have caught them. It’s not our fault it didn’t work.”
“The employees got discovered and Mallory and Hearth were supposed to stay at the bakery and just get some new employees who were actually civilians.” Magnus told Alex. “But then there was a fire.”
“A true shame.” Mallory said, not sounding sad in the slightest. “And then they had to let us have rooms here. And we got separate rooms as well, which was nice. I didn’t have to be stuck with this lump all day.” she pulled a face at Halfborn.
“They’re...” Blitz trailed off from looking at Alex and turned to stare at Mallory and Halfborn. “Are you still married? Or divorced? Or in the process of getting a divorce?”
“Separated but still married.” Mallory said. “We’re not getting divorced. And we’ll probably get back together.”
“They’ve got divorced and remarried three times.” Blitz told Alex. “They drive HR up the pole because no one ever knows if they’re together or not.”
“Are we’re sleeping with TJ.” Hearth reminded Blitz.
Blitzen facepalmed. “And that.”
“This seems like a significantly more interesting transfer than I’d expected.” Alex said, clapping her hands together. “Do you need me to do anything or can I head off?”
“Please, I just this ponce, can we wait for Odin to tell us what to do?” Mallory begged Sam. “I want a holiday.”
“You had a holiday last week.” a small vice came from Magnus’s back pocket. “And you didn’t take me!”
“That's because you had vanished into the cloud and I had no idea how to get you back!” Magnus said wearily. He pulled a small grey box out of his pocket and placed it on the table. “Alex, this is Jack. Jack, this is Alex. He hacks stuff. We’re not entirely sure what he is or where he came from. I found him in a river.”
“How many times do I have to tell you? I was the personal bodyguard of Frey until he got distracted by a woman and agreed to throw me onto another planet in exchange for her hand in marriage.” Jack said bitterly.
“Alien tech?” Alex asked, eyebrow raised.
“Probably.” Mallory admitted.
“Coll.”
“I had a phone call from the Norns, Magnus, so we will not be having a holiday.” Sam said.
Everyone apart from Alex and Sam turned to stare at Magnus.
What did you do? Hearth asked.
“I did nothing.” Magnus said defensively.
“You’ve clearly done something because they asked for you specifically.” Sam pulled a phone out of her pocket and pushed it across the table to Magnus. “And as I have the evening off, you can listen to their instructions. See you tomorrow!”
Sam left.
Magnus stared at the phone. “Alex, as it’s your first day, would you like to-”
Alex shook her head. “I'm not doing anything with the Norns if I don’t have to.”
Magnus sighed and played the recording on the phone.
Magnus Chase, the Norns began. We have received contact from an alien race.
The team looked at each other in shock.
One claims to be your feather. Someone called Frey. He wants to meet you.
“He’s come to get me!" Jack cheered.
“I’m half alien?” Magnus asked in horror, then fainted and fell off his chair.
“He seems like he faints a lot.” Alex said, peering down at him. “Does he?”
“Yep.”