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It takes a moment for Catra to remember where she is.
She opens and closes her eyes rhythmically, slowly registering the nauseating pastel colours of the walls and ceiling as the splashing sound of the waterfall reaches her sensitive ears, making them twitch. The night sky is dark, making the stars and moons appear even more bright against the pitch black darkness. They’re easily visible, even after Melog had closed the wide doors to the balcony on their way out for a midnight stroll, and cast a natural glow in the darkness of their room.
Their room.
Catra is in hers and Adora’s room. On their large bed, the mattress a bit too hard for comfort and perfect as usual. She absently notices how their sheets are all crumpled around her limp, aching fingers, much more interested in the deeply enticing smell that seems to saturate the air. She’s also very naked, fur and skin damp with perspiration, and no matter how hard she tries, she can’t keep her legs from trembling or her tail from thrashing lazily at her side.
Yet, none of this seems important and immediately fades in the background as soon as she registers the deep, overwhelming bliss her body seems to be drowning in. Her chest rises and falls rapidly, but she doesn’t really care about filling her lungs as long as she can keep feeling like this.
Something plush touches the inside of her knee in what, she thinks, must be a peck. Large palms caress up her thighs, over her hips and torso before they settle by her sides, followed closely by the warmth of a body covering hers.
She doesn’t have time to look down that Adora is hovering over her, panting and equally sweaty, her eyes almost as bright as the smile lighting up her face. There’s a wet sheen covering her mouth and chin that she absently wipes away with the back of her hand, and Catra doesn’t know why the sight makes a fading spark of heat flare deep inside her belly once again.
Adora’s flushed from the tips of her ears to her collarbones, her skin almost too hot to the touch, but that doesn’t stop her from draping herself over Catra like a blanket, languidly sliding up until her nose finds its spot right below Catra’s jaw. She sighs, deep and content, and the way her lips brush over short, brown fur makes Catra’s heartbeat stutter. “You okay? Was that good?”
Adora has been asking that after every single round, which now would make it the... third time? No, maybe fourth or fifth- Catra is still coming down from her high, okay, she can't focus right now.
She blinks, trying to remember sentences, words, thoughts, anything that might help her not make a fool of herself. “Uh... yeah.” She cringes at how stupid she sounds. Adora feels warm and solid and amazing over her, and Catra just wishes she could burrow into her body and maybe never move again. “Okay, I mean, yeah. More than okay. I am. And also, good. That was good.”
Adora can’t suppress a laugh, a full-bellied one that makes Catra want to flip them and hit her with the pillows. But, she’s pretty much boneless right now, and too happy to pretend Adora doesn’t make her insides feel all funny and her heart thud almost painfully in her heaving chest. She’s so in love it’s not even funny.
“So eloquent.” Adora looks too smug for her own good as she lift herself up to meet Catra’s eyes. “Cat got your tongue?”
She scoots a little just to let her lips brush her forehead, then the bridge of her nose and the softest part of her cheek, but stops before kissing her on the mouth, a self-conscious expression on her face. Catra thinks she might burst at the seams because of how endearingly chivalrous Adora manages to be even after they just spent hours mapping each other’s bodies with much more than their hands.
“Pretty sure that was you, like, fifteen minutes ago, dork,” Catra scoffs, but her voice is nothing but mushy even to her own ears, and she drags Adora down so that maybe she won’t see the smitten blush lighting her cheeks. She kisses her quickly before tucking her face in the side of Adora’s neck. “Is this how empty your head feels all the time? That must be a nightmare.”
She lets her hands travel down the plane of Adora’s strong back, tracing the familiar ridges of her muscles and skimming, softly, over shallow scratch marks in a muted apology. Her hands had been firmly on the headboard of their bed sometime at the beginning of the night to avoid this exact outcome, but then Adora was kissing her way down her chest and doing something with her fingers, and all good intention left in Catra promptly wished her luck and vanished.
Then again, Adora had straight up growled as soon as claws met skin, so, she figures, it mustn’t have been that bad.
“Hey, I know plenty of fancy words. And I think. Deep, important stuff,” Adora grins sweetly and starts to shift, pushing herself off to lay on her side. Catra almost whines, but then Adora pulls her close, tangling their legs as her hand slides down Catra’s back and scratches, lightly, at the base of her tail. Usually, that would be a foolproof way to work her up again, but it's been hours and Catra is spent. The flicker of warmth igniting low in her belly spreads to every corner of her body instead, anchoring her to Adora's touch, and it takes and embarrassing amount of effort, strength, and years of military-drilled discipline combined for her not to dissolve into a purring puddle.
Catra huffs, but nestled like this she’s free to press her lips over every pale inch of the angular shape that brands Adora’s chest. H-E-A-R-T. I love you, I love you, I love you. With every kiss she can feel Adora’s heartbeat, how it flutters, quick like a butterfly’s wings. “Oh, yeah? Such as?”
The shit-eating grin Adora levels her with tells Catra that she just walked right into a trap. “You, mostly.”
“Woah, a dork and a sap. Just my luck,” Catra rolls her eyes, butting her head gently under Adora’s chin when her fingers dig in the small of her back to unravel the leftover tension in her muscles. She settles down on Adora’s arm, making a pillow out of her sturdy bicep and nuzzling into it with a pleased sigh. “Why did we wait so long to do this, again?”
“It was worth it,” Adora shrugs as she ruffles tufts of soft fur between her hands before smoothing them down. It’s like she can’t keep herself from touching Catra's body, her natural restless self attracted to Catra like metal to a magnet. And that’s more than a perfect arrangement, honestly. “We spent so much time getting ready for this that I thought I had an idea of how good it'd be, but I’ve never been happier to be wrong.”
Catra shivers slightly as her mind travels back to the few months that lead up to this. Much trial, even more error, and all of it had been amazing and exquisitely satisfying. “Yeah, but... how does it even get better?”
“Guess we’ll have to find out,” Adora’s tone becomes low and velvety, on the verge of turning into a moan. “And I, for one, cannot wait.” She bites her lip, plastering an expression so comically seductive that Catra can’t keep a straight face.
She shoves her, but Adora keeps wiggling her eyebrows and it just makes her laugh harder. “Wow, insatiable much?”
“Can’t really help it,” Adora’s playful smile softens into what Catra could only describe as dreamy. She lets her eyes, so blue and bright even in the dark, roam over Catra’s face with deliberate, almost suffocating affection filling them to the brim. It’s a look so tender, like Catra is something precious and fragile that needs to be protected, and she fights the urge to hide at how loved it makes her feel. “Not when you’re you.”
Catra breathes out, slow and trembling, and turns her head into Adora’s arm just so she can take a break from that earnest gaze. She presses her lips against her skin, grinning at the gooseflesh that immediately erupts. “Ah, yes. Here are She-Ra’s infamous, fancy words,” she says, matching Adora’s amused, fond smile with a quirk of her own lips. Her hand searches for that spot on Adora’s ribcage that is super ticklish, and she laughs when Adora squirms and twists away. “Ladies sure dig 'em.”
“Good thing they're all for you, then,” Adora mutters around a giggle, like she’s talking about the weather and not casually leaving Catra to deal with several, mini-heart attacks one after the other. “You’re already all I want. Not to mention the literal love of my life, so there’s no one else I’d rather impress.”
Insufferable.
Adora is insufferable and, really, Catra hates herself for immediately leaning up and catching her insufferably pretty mouth, smiling at her insufferably cute snort, and loving every bit of her insufferably wonderful being with all her heart, so intensely that the power of all combined Runestones couldn’t hold a candle to it.
Adora hums, full and happy, like she always does when they kiss like this, and her fingers sink into Catra’s hair as she presses closer still. It’s lazy and hot, the way Adora explores her mouth and traces her teeth with her tongue, and it makes a sensation of comfort anchor deep in Catra’s chest. She finds herself shifting forward, until she’s pressed flush against Adora’s torso and her nails prick the soft skin of Adora’s sides.
It doesn’t earn her the muffled gasp and buckling hips she’s used to, just Adora huffing out a chuckle and her hand sliding down to cup Catra’s jaw, her thumb drawing shapeless figures over her cheekbone. It’s so deeply relaxing that Catra doesn’t notice the low, thrumming noise rumbling to life in her chest, or the way her kisses get more and more sluggish until she distantly hears Adora’s muffled laughter.
“As much as I love kissing you,” she snickers, placing her lips to the tip of Catra’s nose. “I think you’re about to fall asleep.”
“Am not.” Catra snaps back immediately, but her eyelids do feel like the heaviest thing in the world right now, so she doesn’t bother trying to keep them up. “Shut up. ’m super awake.”
Adora coos, scratching the back of Catra’s ear in the way Catra hates because it just makes her purr louder, without fail and - there it is. She grumbles around the engine-like sound, and Adora laughs again. “Uh-huh. You’re already kneading my belly like you do when you want to take a nap.”
She is? Well, damn it.
“Excuse me for not having your freakishly high stamina,” Catra can tell she’s starting to sound more and more sluggish, but she’s been making a fool of herself for the past few minutes and she’s sleep-drunk already, so she has nothing to lose. Her tail circles Adora’s calf, once, twice, tickling her skin. “We can’t all be... a dumb... magical... weirdo.”
“A dumb, magical weirdo,“ Adora repeats, whispering, her tone charged with something Catra tiredly recognises. It seeps with wonder, like when they stay up late stargazing and Adora spots a new constellation they’ve never seen before, pencil to paper and tongue sticking out between her teeth as she copies its lines, and Catra inevitably feels her heart swell with affection every time she watches her. “My god, I love you so much.”
Adora’s arms wrap even more around her, prompting Catra to burrow further into the cocoon of warm blankets and Adora's embrace. She realises, belatedly, that Adora has rolled onto her back and brought her on top. Her chest rises and falls, slowly, lulling Catra to sleep with the same peaceful steadiness she learned to appreciate during their space journey back to Etheria. She mewls happily, snuggling deep in the crook of Adora’s neck.
It’s incredible how safe she feels like this. Not even when she was Force Captain and had a room all to herself she’d felt this sense of security, haunted by monsters inside her own head. No rest, no escape, no mercy.
With Adora, it’s like all her walls become rubble and she’s vulnerable from all sides, open and raw, ready to be struck down. She has grown up suffocating her weaknesses under a scathing mask of indifference, burying her feelings until she felt like screaming. But she doesn’t even have a reason to be afraid now because, if she falls, Adora will catch her. And if Adora stumbles, Catra will pick her up.
They'll be there for each other without fail, anytime they need, for the rest of their lives. Together, like they were always meant to be.
The last things she feels before falling asleep are Adora’s arm, tightening around her shoulder, and lips pressing repeatedly against the crown of her head in soft, careful pecks.
The last thing she hears, Adora’s heartbeat.
The last thing she thinks.
I love you, too.
Adora comes to with the pounding of a headache slamming behind her closed eyelids.
She groans, and immediately chokes on her own spit as the sound comes out of her parched throat, dry as a desert. Her coughing fit is interrupted by a gentle hand sliding behind her nape and tilting her head up. Something cold touches her lips, followed by the cool sensation of water wetting her mouth. Adora drinks, greedily, but the way the glass is tilted prevents her from downing it all too quickly.
Once she’s done and gently lowered back down, Adora breathes in deep, trying to squint her eyes open through the pain.
Metal walls, purple lights, Entrapta’s maniacal laughter echoing from the halls. She’s on Darla, in the medical bay as far as she can tell. A tiny ray of light seeps in from the small window panel behind her, so bright it almost looks white, but aside from that the room is completely dark.
She’s laying on a cot, with a thin sheet covering her, and she’s been injured enough times in her life to know the sensation of gauze over skin like the back of her hand. Currently, her entire right side must be covered with it, the fabric scratchy and tickly, a stark contrast from the soft bandages wrapping her torso and forehead. She looks down, slowly so it doesn’t hurt too much, and sure enough there’s thin, white material peeking out from under the cover, coming up to the middle of her chest.
Adora lets her eyes trail to the side, following the shape of her arm on the mattress, until a familiar silhouette enters her line of sight. Arms crossed over her chest, she’s sitting in the shadow, quiet and unmoving. Adora finds it easy to lose herself in the brilliant light of mismatched eyes, shining like beacons in the dark, and lets their familiarity smother the panic that was beginning to bubble in her chest .
Catra looks down at her silently, a long and unblinking stare that makes Adora feel like she’s walking on broken glass. But then, it’s like someone popped a hole into a balloon. Catra deflates in her chair, sliding down the backrest as she lets out a drawn-out exhale. She brings her hands up to her face as she takes deep, measured breaths. “You idiot,” she seethes, unmistakeable even when it’s muffled by her palms. “You absolute, fucking idiot.”
“Oh.” Adora sighs in utter relief and rests her head back on the pillow. ‘Idiot’ is good. ‘Idiot’ means she’s fine. “You had me worried for a second there.”
She tries to push herself up on her forearms, but a sharp sting in her side makes everything spin on itself, first the room, then her stomach. Two palms land on her shoulders in a heartbeat, their pressure as delicate as it’s insistent, and force her back down. She squints through the haze of pain and, finally, Catra leans into the light enough for Adora to get a good look at her.
Wisps of dark, wild hair are escaping the bushy ponytail Adora had tied for her... was it the previous morning? She can’t remember. Catra’s eyes are lined and glassy, boring into Adora with rare intensity. The short fur of her cheeks is weirdly matted, but stranger than anything else is the absolutely livid scowl on her strained, pretty face, teeth bared and gritted.
At Adora.
She can't remember the last time she was on the receiving end of that expression.
“Don’t even think about it,” Catra hisses, pushing her down. She won’t take no for an answer, but Adora is not about to fight her when every move she makes feels like being stabbed in the gut.
“What happened?” Adora closes her eyes, doing her best to recall just how she ended up like this. “I remember going into that cave, and transforming. And then... it’s all a weird fog.”
They had touched down on the barren planet in the morning, nothing but miles and miles of dry land surrounding the ship. The readings from Entrapta’s pad pointed towards a large cave complex surrounded by First Ones ruins as the magical core of the planet, and once they got there they had decided to split. Bow, Glimmer and Entrapta would collect info and samples outside, while Catra’d go in with Adora to keep an eye on her while she did her She-Ra thing. Melog, who'd been weirdly fussy since they'd entered the planet's orbit, had stayed on board to get some rest.
Adora feels Catra’s hands shake. “We went to the centre of the cave, and you released the magic,” she begins, slowly. When she’s sure Adora won’t move again, she steps back, sitting gingerly at the side of the bed, like she’s afraid she’ll break something if she moves too fast, facing away from Adora. Her shoulders shake, and Adora longs to touch her, comfort her in any way she can.
Catra swallows, audibly.
“But we didn’t see the cannon.”
Adora’s vision blurs, and suddenly the soothing purple lights of the room flicker and dim and
everything explodes in a brilliant green glow, horribly familiar in a way that makes her stomach sink. Sickly green everywhere, from the walls to the ceiling of the cave, all over the ground that suddenly lights up with geometric patterns. Adora follows their trail with her eyes until she spots, at the very back of the cave, a massive laser cannon, powered up and ready to shoot. With Catra straight into the line of fire.
She calls her name but Catra is stuck, paralysed on the spot, and Adora can’t think, can’t see anything else but the energy beam ready to burst and hit and incinerate and she’s running, sprinting, sword forgotten in the ground and pushing Catra away and the cannon fires and-
Adora groans, her headache expanding all the way to the back of her head. She wills herself to move and try to fight the pain, but her limbs feel like lead and don’t answer like they should. A small, pained sob is pushing past her lips, but Catra’s hands are suddenly covering her eyes, soft and delicate. She brushes her thumbs over Adora’s closed eyelids, runs her fingers over her forehead and temples before they climb to scratch her scalp.
“Prime...” Adora sputters, leaning into the soothing touch almost desperately. Catra grounds her to where she is, helps her soothe the piercing ache behind her eyes. “Prime’s tech, it was-“
“It must have been forgotten here. Maybe Prime used that cave as a storage or something, I-I don’t know,” Catra speaks so quickly it’s almost impossible to make out what she’s saying. “The magic powered it up I think. I s-saw it, aiming at me, but that light, it was like... I was back on his ship and-and he was there laughing and whispering in my head and I couldn’t move and-“
Adora grits her teeth and forces her arm to move. She slides it uselessly up her side, but before she can lift it up to search for Catra’s hand, she scrambles back on her chair, legs drawn up to her chest and ears pinned to the sides of her head, and Adora’s heart breaks.
"Catra...”
“You got hurt because of me. Again,” Catra whimpers, her face hidden in her knees. She wraps her arms around herself and Adora winces when she seen her claws digging in the soft material of her shirt. “When the smoke cleared, you were fading in and out of She-Ra and you were bleeding and—“
“Catra.” Adora hoists herself up as much as she can, straining against the flare in her side until her fingers can wrap around Catra’s ankle, the closest part of her she can reach. She tugs, weakly, whatever energy she had in her body completely depleted already. “C’mere.”
Catra shivers, her eyes shut and voice pleading. “Adora...” she knows the only reason Catra doesn’t lurch away is that she won’t risk jostling her further. It feels like Adora’s chest is being split open and all she wants is cradle Catra close and never let her go. “Adora, you’re hurt, please...”
“Big deal,” Adora scoffs, biting back a groan of pain. Her side is killing her, but being so far from Catra hurts even more. “I want to hug you, and if you’re not coming here, I’m getting up right now. ” She’s absolutely bluffing, and they both know it. Adora’s arm is shaking so much it’s a miracle she hasn’t collapsed already, it would be impossible for her to move another muscle without blacking out from the pain.
Catra gives in, and she’s out of her chair and circling the bed in the blink of an eye. She places her hands on Adora’s upper arms, helping her lay back. She spends a moment looking Adora up and down, trying to gauge if her wound opened again, or if anything else needs immediate medical care. When Adora shakes her head softly, she sighs, running a palm down her face.
There’s a moment of hesitation, and then Catra climbs next to her. She keeps her distance, but it’s something. A start. “You’re such a stubborn brat.”
“Pot, meet kettle,” Adora says, smiling cheekily despite the pain. Catra’s hands are steady on her arms to help her shift without moving too much. At least, on her side, she can hold Catra closer. Keeping the pressure off her injury is just a bonus. “It wasn’t your fault, by the way. And I’m fine. You should see the other guy.”
“Don’t... Adora, stop it.” The cot is unbearably tiny, but Catra curls herself up into Adora’s space, pressing her nose against her collarbone. Her hands remain between them, turned so her knuckles brush Adora’s sternum. She wonders, briefly, if Catra is trying to get tangible proof of her heartbeat. “You promised us you’d stop throwing yourself at danger. You promised me.”
Guilt bubbles up in Adora’s chest, raw and unforgiving, and she struggles to push down the sudden lump rising in her throat. She opens her mouth, apology ready on the tongue, but nothing comes out. It wouldn’t be enough.
Catra is right, she broke her promise. Again. It’s like she can do nothing else but that.
“I almost lost you again.”
If every cell of Adora’s body weren’t focused on Catra, she’s sure she would have missed it. It’s a whisper so soft, even smaller than how Catra looks right now, and Adora’s vision loses focus as tears fill her eyes. She can't stand to see her like this, and it's all her fault. “I-I was She-Ra-“
“But you weren’t!” Catra’s head snaps back so fast it looks painful. She curls her hands into fists, tears streaming down her face onto the pillow, her teeth bared. “When you were hit, there was this... this green light all around you. You transformed back into yourself and you were-you-you weren’t breathing. All I saw was you, back into the Heart and-and I can’t lose you again, Adora, I can’t- I-”
She cups Catra’s face immediately, wiping away her tears with gentle fingers before she tilts her chin up. She looks at her with as much certainty as she can manage, holding Catra’s bloodshot eyes with equally tearful ones. “Catra, you brought me back once already. You’re never getting rid of me,” she whispers, meaning every syllable coming out her mouth. It quirks up when Catra blinks, slowly, pupils large and boring into her own. “I’d crawl through hell, over and over and over again, if it meant coming home to you.”
Catra sniffles, scowling still, but she leans a little into Adora’s palm. “You’re an idiot.”
Adora nods. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“A stubborn, brash, infuriating idiot.” Catra says as she scoots forward.
“You’re right.” Adora lowers her head. Their foreheads touch, and it feels like her lungs can finally expand and relax.
“Of all the brave, selfless, stupid idiots in the universe you must be the number one-“
Adora cuts her off, nudging their noses together and waiting, patiently, until Catra tilts her head just enough for their mouths to touch. She kisses her, then, slow and deliberate, pushing forward as far as her neck will allow her. It makes her muscles cramp uncomfortably, but she couldn’t care less, not when finally kissing Catra makes her feel like she’s floating, free of pain and negative thoughts.
Catra makes this tiny, hiccup-y sound against her lips and sinks fully into the contact. Adora lets her take the lead, all too happy to let her mind wander and bask in the feeling of Catra being so close, a warm haven from the exhaustion wearing down her bones. Catra kisses her with purpose, slowly, like she wants to absorb and map to memory every inch of Adora’s mouth. First her upper lip, then the lower, she presses kiss after kiss after kiss, until whatever pain left in Adora is relieved by all that Catra is.
“I’m still mad at you.”
Catra murmurs it right against her mouth, and Adora can easily make out the edges of her pout.
“It’s fine, I get it,” Adora says, kissing her frown away. “I’ll try to do better, but... it’s still hard sometimes. I’m sorry, Catra.”
“Don’t be,” Catra sighs. Her arm slides past Adora’s neck and curls behind her head, allowing her to burrow in her chest. Adora clings to her, nuzzling her nose in the hollow of her throat and breathing in her clean scent. “I know you’re doing your best. And thank you. For saving me.”
Adora hums, pushing her face deeper against Catra’s short fur. It’s softer than anything she’s ever known, has been a source of comfort for as long as she can remember, back when their world narrowed down to cold metal floors and eyes creeping in the shadows.
“I’m feelin' a bit sleepy,” she manages, her eyelids drooping against her will. She doesn’t know if it was the emotional rush of the last hour or the cannon blast to the chest, but she feels completely drained. “Stay with me?”
Catra scoffs, that fond, exhasperated sound she makes whenever Adora says something stupid. “Of course, dummy.” Her tail tickles the back of Adora’s leg as it wraps around her ankle. Catra runs her fingers along the nape of Adora’s neck, an imprecise pattern that rocks her more and more to sleep. When she starts to purr, so quietly it's more of a vibration, Adora can almost physically feel the tension in her muscles melt away.
Her eyes are already shut when the last alert part of her brain finally deciphers what Catra is drawing on her back, and it draws a dopey grin out of her.
Eight letters. Three words.
By the time she has mumbled them back in Catra’s neck, the arms around her shoulders squeezing her softly in response, she’s out like a light.