Work Text:
Months had passed by since New Asgard was established on Earth, and while the Asgardians would continue to make necessary adjustments with Thor and the already citizens of Tønsberg, time was still much needed in order to fully assimilate into Midgardian culture.
Loki was especially having a difficult time, what with having both Thor and the Avengers breathing down his back 24/7, and the heavy boulder of burden he continued to carry as evidence for the horrors he caused and was involved in. Thor had much advocated for his brother and after a strenuous period of uncertainty, Loki was placed on a certain ‘community service’ watch, to much of Tony Stark’s dismay.
Of course, this meant Loki was chained down by Midgardian Laws, unable to travel across the stars as he much desired to. He was stuck here, having to deal with the crushing discomfort of having to acclimate to life with the same creatures he once long ago intended to destroy. Thor, while his intentions good, was much too preoccupied with his role as King and as an Avenger. He had offered Loki a chance to stand by him as his royal advisor but he declined, knowing full well the amount of controversy it would create.
Loki would at times travel back and between New York and New Asgard as a way to keep busy and not linger too much around places where he was still not fully welcomed. He had thought about traveling the rest of Midgard, expanding his knowledge as he did in his younger years, however, his motivation also dwindled with any hopes of redemption.
A period while staying in NYC once again threw him almost over the edge, when a confrontation between him and Stark escalated quickly. Loki, being smart enough to understand the blame would be placed on him immediately, allowed the Ironman to win said argument, only to be met with a reprimanding speech of his adjustment on Earth.
It was humiliating, and Loki sought out for an escape. He couldn’t go back to Thor, again, knowing his brother would not be much help in wanting to side against Stark again. He also couldn’t stay here any longer, as much as he had wished for a reconciliation with Earth’s mightiest. For now, there was only one single place he had in mind to ‘wind down’, just for one evening.
His hesitation took the better of him for a good minute, as he stood frozen at your door. Cold winter winds passed through him, piercing his senses back to reality. A thought tugged at him, wanting to prevent himself from burdening you in the middle of the night. Sure, you had never turned him away as of yet but the possibility still stood. And he wasn’t in the right set of mind to withstand a rejection from you.
Nevertheless, what else would he do at this point? With much courage and pride, he rang your doorbell once, declaring to make a prompt leave if you wouldn’t answer the first one.
The door swung open, revealing a disheveled looking human, eyes squinting and adjusting to the brightness. Darn it.
“Loki?” You asked while rubbing your eyes. He noted your warm lounge wear, and the birds nest at the top of your head. Either you must have already been in deep slumber or were about to drift off if it were not for him.
“Pardon my intrusion. Ah, I disturbed you didn’t I?” Loki asked. His already fidgeting hands unconsciously came together, a small habit he had picked up from Frigga for when he was uncomfortable.
“I was about to fall asleep, but no! Don’t worry, uh, is everything ok?” You asked while patting your obvious bed head down.
No. But Loki couldn’t tell you about his troubles from earlier today, what would the purpose of that be? For the first time, his sharp tongue failed him as he struggled to find the right words to say without revealing too much.
“Well...I do recall, some time ago, you mentioned that I would be, uh...welcomed here whenever I would please to.”
Loki felt stupid, his pride diminishing even further. His eloquent speech had failed him this time, knowing you were too smart to buy into the half-orchestrated lie he wanted to throw at you. He continued to pick at his fingers, ready to bolt and forget the whole ordeal. Surprisingly however, a small smile formed upon your face.
“Sure, you can hang out here for a bit if you want.” You replied, gesturing him to follow you and come inside.
Loki slowly walked in, closing the door behind him. Your home was dark, with only a small tacky Christmas tree illuminating your living room. From his introspection, you were probably falling asleep on your couch, catching sight of a small fleece blanket hanging loosely at the edge.
“Take a seat. I’m sorry it’s a bit chilly in here though, I’m not a big fan of leaving the heater on at night.” You said while reaching over and tossing the blanket towards another chair.
“Actually, it feels quite warm in here.” Loki replied, taking a seat at the edge of your couch.
“Really? I guess maybe it might be warm for an Asgardian.” You pondered, poking your lips in contemplation. “Still, I can heat us up something warm to drink if you’d like.”
Loki shook his head. “Please, don’t burden yourself. I’ll be fine like this.”
You became concerned. There was obviously something up with Loki. His meek presentation suggested a couple of things to you, and some ideas had sprouted in your head. Knowing how Loki took things however, urged you to prod at him carefully.
“What’s wrong?” You began, taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch. You hoped the distance would make it easier for him to speak. “You seem a bit...off.”
Loki slumped his back against your couch, arching an eyebrow at you. “Off?”
“Like, not your usual self. In fact,” You continued, leaning yourself slightly closer to Loki to catch a better glimpse of him through the soft light. “Now, taking a closer look at you, I can tell you’re exhausted about something.”
This was true. Loki’s usual complexion was a bit darker than normally. Dark circles formed under his eyes, and although Loki never demonstrated any indication of wrinkles or laugh lines, there was a new crease forming over his forehead.
“I’m not tired.” He answered, not minding the decreased distance between the both of you. “I am however drained of this godforsaken planet.”
Those last words were filled with venom, and a deeply kept resentment began to slowly creep up into his throat. It was years since he had felt something like this, the intensity of his dissatisfaction and his hate for things, yet again, failing him horribly. No one wanted him here, that was clear enough. But he also wouldn’t subject himself to be rooted down to the remnants of Asgard on Midgard. It scared him, to expose himself to that type of darkness again.
He felt your hand gently on his shoulders, dispersing all of the negative ideas forming inside of him. He looked up at you, also very tired and exhausted. Your eyes, although slightly droopy, were focused on his, offering a gesture of empathy.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to have to live in an alien planet.” Your voice was soft and sincere, a change of pace in contrast to his other encounters.
Loki pinched the bridge of his nose, releasing a long deep breath.
“I’ve had this horrible pounding in my head for days now.” He admitted, uncertain of what you’d make out of this. “It’s causing me to...become what I’ve been wanting to avoid.”
You gently squeezed his shoulder, urging him to look at you again. “Actually Loki, it does sound like you’re incredibly stressed about all of this. I don’t know how stress works in Asgard...but maybe I can help you feel a bit better.”
Loki rolled his eyes, gently taking your hand off from his shoulder. “I’m not really in the mood for sex, especially with a mortal.”
Your face immediately became flushed. “Jesus, no! That’s not what I meant!”
He chuckled. Your little reaction was quite adorable to him. “What did you mean then?”
“Well, whenever I feel stressed the one thing that always makes me relax is getting a nice head massage.” You responding, motioning your hands over your head. “I wouldn’t mind doing that for you.”
A wary look appeared upon Loki’s face. “You will not touch my scalp.”
“Don’t be such a baby Loki. You never know, you might actually like it. You can even relax enough and take a little nap here.”
Loki fully affirmed now that coming here was a very bad idea on his part. He wasn’t sure what he sought out coming here to look for you, but it certainly wasn’t something like this. He did not need to be put in another humiliating position like earlier.
“You’re out of your mind. And I’m not tired.” He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.
You adjusted yourself on your couch, placing both of your feet flat on the floor. Your thighs became locked together, and you gently patted down on them, motioning Loki to look on over.
“Lay your head down on here.”
“Absolutely not.”
“You don’t want to be a rude house guest now do you? Lay down you little grump.”
He cursed at himself for giving in so easily. Just as he was commanded to, he pulled himself over and gently laid his head upon your thighs. The couch, agonizingly too short for him to lay his legs out, forced him to raise them upon the armrest, leaving his legs out dangling in the open.
Now he felt really stupid.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry about that. Didn’t realize how tall you actually were.”
He didn’t reply, a sour look plastered upon his face. Your humor towards the situation didn’t help his self-esteem at all, but at least this would be done in privacy, for absolutely no one to know about.
You lowered your neck a bit to get a better angle on him. “Kinda let your mind wander a bit. It’s always nice when someone gives you this type of attention.”
This was a type of attention Loki seldom seemed to receive and he listened to you attentively regardless of his attitude towards it . You began, digging your small fingers into his locks, beginning to rub and tickle at his scalp in the most meticulous manner. You didn’t pay much heed whether Loki was comfortable being touched in this matter or not. You had a goal in mind and Loki would have to abide by it in whatever manner he could.
It was actually a very long time since Loki had been touched in such a manner. Or, touched by a human at all. In Asgard, physical touch was also a way to form closer bonds and relationships with family and other loved ones. It wasn’t alien to him to be touched gently by others, his memories always luring him towards the fond moments he shared with Frigga. She would comfort him by gently patting his head, or by singing soft Asgardian lullabies.
He knew human’s also shared these similar traits, being very physical creatures by nature as means to provide love and comfort. He had long forgotten what it had felt like, to be actually...taken care of by another. And even if your gestures were odd at best, he experienced a long lost feeling he had not felt for centuries.
You noticed Loki’s eyes begin to flutter and droop. You knew he has tired and you wanted to know exactly what had caused for him to reach this point. But you knew best not to dig at it without his consent.
“Loki,” You whispered. “Sleep, I know you’re very tired.”
His eyes widened and darted towards yours. You jumped back a bit as his expression became angrier.
“I am not tired.” He snarled, this time his voice louder and stronger. “I don’t need your pity human.”
Ordinarily this would be a sign for you to back off, not wanting to anger the God any further. And yet, he remained there in the same exact spot, his head laid right on your lap, with no intention to move away.
You both remained quiet for a moment, wanting the tension to ease away before you could deject his statement towards you.
“It’s not pity, you know.” You said lowly. “It’s just concern, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Loki knew you were right. He told himself he needed to feel some contentment for your care for him, but a blockage continued to prevent him from verbalizing this towards you. He looked off to the side, wanting to avoid you eyes in shame.
“Forgive me. I shouldn’t have snapped at you in that form.”
“Hey, don’t be sorry.” You replied, resuming to dig your fingers between his hair and his scalp. “You’ve had a rough day today, so I think it’s only fair for you to be a bit defensive.”
“Hmm.” The notion was different. For a long while, Loki was used to be talked down or to be admonished for his attitude and disdain for other’s feelings. In fact, he usually expected for others to react so negatively towards his lack of control with his anger. It was nice to be understood, even for a bit.
“I’ll just tell you one more time though. If you are tired, go ahead and nap for a bit. I won’t be bothered by it.”
You peered down to look at Loki, who continued to restrain himself from looking at you straight in the eyes. Instead he focused on your lips, soft and pink, practically begging to be kissed. Big mistake on his part.
“Thank you.” It was all Loki could reply with, as his eyes continued to flutter at the movements of your delicate fingers massaging his scalp.
Would it be completely wrong for him to close his eyes for a moment or so? He felt tired, he felt warm and he felt secure under your touch. Your fingers traced along his scalp like feathers sending a wave of tingles down his neck. The gently tugs of his locks triggered memories of his hair being braided by his mother, further dragging him deeper into that gentle slumber he had desired for.
At last, heavy eyelids drooped close and Loki’s breathing shifted, deeper and slower than before. You rested your head and arm against the armrest, feeling your legs go numb at the weight of Loki’s head. You dared not shift however, despite the pain and small discomfort you experienced. You felt Loki doze off after half an hour or so, his eyes gently closed, hands placed sternly over his chest which rose upwards and down.
Your own heavy eyelids began to flutter, but you fought against it, wanting to continue staring down at the ethereal creature who had fallen asleep right on your lap. You knew he was beautiful, and also took every ounce of will power you had to prevent yourself from bending forward and plating a much wanted kiss on him.
You chose not to disturb him, allowing him to experience a moment’s peace with you.