Chapter Text
GG: okay, lets try this again :)
GG: im sorry about what happened earlier
GG: im just not used to being around people
GG: so i can get kind of nervous
GG: it was too much for me so i panicked and ran away
TT: It seems like social anxiety. I'm so sorry, I didn't realize before.
GG: its not your fault at all!
GG: ill try to get better before next time
TT: We have to meet up again eventually. Would it be better if we were a larger group instead of just me?
GG: probably
GG: just pester me whenever youd like to meet!
GG: and happy early birthday in case i forget!
TT: I think it's already my birthday in this time zone, but thanks!
GG: :p
TT: Sburb isn't a game.
TT: Of course it takes up all the superficial trappings of a game, but it is not a game in the sense of, say, Doom, or Monopoly, or even Minecraft.
TT: Sburb is a machine.
TT: It is a machine for extracting the maximum quantity of suffering from a group of teenagers in order to produce what is commonly known as "narrative drama", which is the quantity that keeps this universe, and therefore us, extant.
TT: So you're saying that Sburb is basically Kyubey from Madoka Magica.
TT: I have no idea what you suppose I am saying.
TT: What I am saying is that the lifespan of this universe, and thus our lifespans, is finite since the only external source of energy no longer exists.
TT: Finite as in 10 billion years or finite as in 10 years? There's a big difference there.
TT: By my observations the end is coming sooner than we think. Ten years is generous.
TT: Should I be worried?
TT: Not yet. And please don't tell anyone else.
TT: Got it. I'll be a black hole if information.
Rose rises up from her computer, ignoring Dirk's next messages which appear to be recapitulations of various old Earth media. Rose no longer cares about old Earth media.
She has recently developed a predilection for the Wikipedia page titled "Ultimate fate of the universe". She has only learned enough about physics to be a dangerous dilettante in the subject, but it all makes sense well enough. In the long run, there are essentially two possible outcomes: the heat death, or the big crunch. The world ends in either ice or fire; the literary part of her mind is inordinately pleased. With a nonnegative cosmological constant, the heat death is far more probable. Eventually, all the stars and galaxies and nebulae will disappear, leaving only black holes, and then even the black holes will dissipate, leaving nothing in the universe save a uniform cloud of particles in thermal equilibrium, just above absolute zero. Only quantum fluctuations remain.
Of course, the powers now present in the universe makes all such points moot. D@ve can reverse the arrow of time. Jade can break the conservation of mass and energy. And Rose... seeing the future is reversing entropy in its own way. Not to mention the fact that minds exist separately from bodies, on some metaphysical plane. These all upturn the physical understanding upon which the theories described in the Wikipedia article are based, unaware to the article's editors.
There is no physical evidence that the powers are declining, so the universe should be able to be maintained indefinitely. Even without powers, any long-term evolution of the universe is billions of years away. So there is no reason to worry about the long-term fate of the universe. She will likely cease existing long before then. But it is a more interesting topic than herself.
It has been approximately 10 years since they started to live together, and Rose is still not entirely habituated. She is fortunate that Kanaya is a deep sleeper, and does not mind Rose's nocturnal excursions. Nor does Kanaya mind Rose's conversion of the second bedroom into an office. This was the room they had meant to reserve for their children, once they were ready to adopt. Rose has been running out of delaying tactics.
But looming over everything is the question of her visions. The visions had started occurring only a few days ago, soon after she met Jade. It is unclear whether that incident was the impetus or merely a coincidence.
Rose saw the sun starve and the earth freeze. It was the heat death of the universe played in fast-forward. She saw her sburban acquaintances, still alive, fading away with the rest of the worlds. There would be no trace of them left.
From the bottom of the curtains, Rose can see light filter through. The sun has not been seen for weeks under the gray clouds and rainy mist, but this time would normally would be the sunrise. As usual, this is her indication to go to sleep.
Kanaya wakes as Rose sleeps. Her job starts early in the morning; Rose's job is in the afternoon and evening. Sometimes they spend days in a state of temporal separation, passing each other by like ships in the night, without words or greetings. Is this what love is? Is this what love inevitably becomes?
Rose awakes to the mouth-watering smell of fried insects. This is a close approximation to Alternian grubs according to the trolls, and has become popular with humans as well as the native Earth C trolls. Kanaya must be at home today. It is no more than ten minutes before Rose is awake enough to leave the bedroom, a much shorter time than usual.
KANAYA: Happy Thirtieth Wriggling Day
KANAYA: Or Should I Say "Birthday"
ROSE: Oh. Thanks. Shouldn't you be at work?
KANAYA: I Left Early Because It Was Your Birthday And We Hardly See Each Other Anymore Despite Living In The Same House
ROSE: That's what happens when we belong to two distinct species, one nocturnal and one diurnal.
KANAYA: And Which Species Are You
ROSE: The one which has a significantly shorter natural life expectancy.
Kanaya sits down next to Rose, the insects (cicadas, Rose thinks) presented on a dish, along with a bowl of noodles for each of them. Their chopsticks are neatly placed on top of the bowls. Rose eats a cicada. It is good, objectively speaking, but for some reason she does not feel hungry. Instead she swirls the noodles around. Kanaya watches her, unblinking.
KANAYA: You Seem Somewhat More Morose Than Usual
ROSE: Oh. Do I?
KANAYA: Yes You Certainly Do
ROSE: In a certain subset of human culture, turning 30 was an indication that one has entered middle age, and is no longer young. It is a common occasion for one to feel some ennui at the passage of time and years lost.
KANAYA: I Have Not Known You To Be Such A Servant To Obsolete Cultural Constructs
ROSE: There is something else, I suppose.
ROSE: There was a part of me that never expected to live this long.
ROSE: Before the game I never had a plan for what I would do past age 18.
ROSE: And during the game and on the meteor I was sure I would die in the next opportune moment.
ROSE: And now, with what might be happening in the future, I'm not sure how long we have.
KANAYA: Is This About Your Visions
ROSE: What else could it be?
KANAYA: It Seems More Than That
KANAYA: Have You Ever Doubted The Veracity Of Your Abilities
ROSE: I've never had reason to.
KANAYA: Have You Considered That These Are Ordinary Dreams
KANAYA: Like The Dreams Humans Are Supposed To Have
ROSE: They aren't just dreams. I see them when I'm specifically attempting to use my powers.
KANAYA: Oh Well That Was A Try I Guess
What had once been playful banter turned into caustic bitterness. What had once been a game had become torture.
KANAYA: Perhaps You Shouldnt Go To Work On Your Wriggling Day
ROSE: But my students need me.
KANAYA: They Could Do Without For One Day
ROSE: Are you saying that I am unimportant and unvalued in my workplace?
KANAYA: Yes Obviously They Do Not Care About You And Will Not Miss Your Absence
KANAYA: No Of Course Not I Just Mean That This Is Just One Day
ROSE: But what would I do without my job, without the structure around which the rest of my life revolves?
ROSE: Perhaps it is a far greater burden to be without structure at this moment.
There were only two paths for the gods after arriving on Earth C: one was to use their powers to create utopia on earth, and the other was to remain incognito. These were the only options that did not result in havoc and worldwide chaos, or the Just Deaths of all involved, based on Rose and Terezi's extrapolations. Rose could see further into the future for the latter option, while the former dissolved into a haze. Perhaps it was a dead end of some sort. So everyone made an agreement: they would not reveal themselves as the creators or interfere with Earth C's affairs. Despite Jade's wishes, they would not solve climate change, no matter how easy it would be for her to zap gigatons of CO2 from the atmosphere. Only if Earth was at a brink would they intervene (outside of Earth's observable radius was a free zone, which is why the more adventurous players have left).
The main consequence of this is that Rose has to take a job. Not only a job, but a low-profile job where they would not experience significant scrutiny. So, no becoming a published author or politician and the like.
Rose has a job at a university library. Technically she is not a librarian, never having attained the relevant graduate degree, but rather a *paraprofessional* or something like that. On the plus side she is allowed to set her working hours to the afternoon and evening, which better coincides with students' schedules in addition to its convenience for her sleep schedule. It's not a busy job, most of the time. She is often free to read a book, or browse the internet, or chat with those in her clique.
Right now her area of interest is the intersection of physics and information theory. There is a viewpoint in which everything in the universe is discrete, and somehow it all analogizes to a computer or a software program in binary. She likes to fancy herself a scholar and a rennaissance woman, but in reality she is a dabbler; has she truly learned anything new, or is she simply augmenting her lexicon? Is any of this is helpful to understanding the powers or her current predicament?
In thermodynamics, the entropy in a closed system can never decrease, the consequence of which is the heat death of the universe. But that is only over the long run. In the short run, there are fluctuations that allow life and consciousness to exist. And what is the role of the powers in relation to the laws of physics or thermodynamics? There must be a higher law that governs their use, some cohesive set of meta-rules that governs the way in which sburb interacts with what is perceived to be physical reality. If only she could decipher them.
"Um... excuse me?"
Oh. A student. Someone is asking her something. She has an actual job that she should do.
"Oh. Hi. What is it?"
"Excuse me, I was wondering if there are data on agricultural yields in western Washington before 1900..."
Kanaya is still up when Rose comes home. She usually cooks dinner herself and leaves some leftovers for Rose, especially in winter when she takes an early bedtime. But today she went all out.
KANAYA: Is It An Inappropriate Time To Bring Up The Topic
ROSE: What "topic"?
KANAYA: The Double Capitalized Topic
KANAYA: TOPIC If I Must
KANAYA: Are You Ready To Talk About It
ROSE: No, be more clear, what topic are you talking about?
KANAYA: Sigh... The One About Raising Children
ROSE: If you insist, I suppose.
ROSE: I'm not sure if I am willing to bear the burden of bringing a living being into this world.
KANAYA: Were Adopting Not Bringing New Life Dont You Remember
KANAYA: These Grubs Will Have A Much Worse Life If No One Is There For Them
ROSE: I know but... what if we end up creating a worse world for them anyway?
KANAYA: Why Would We
KANAYA: Is This About The Visions Again
ROSE: I suppose. It's been consuming me recently.
KANAYA: I Understand
ROSE: What do you understand?
Kanaya does not respond. The two finish the rest of the meal in silence. Kanaya retreats into her room. Rose loads the dishes into the dishwasher, and does the same.
It is 3AM again. Rose does not know where Dirk physically lives, only that he is online at some of the same times as her, and thus the only available partner for conversation. He could be living in space like Jade, or in a different plane of existence altogether as far as she knows.
TT: What is your evidence?
TT: Why do you expect empirical evidence from me? I'm a magician, not a scientist. But the evidence is, the visions from my seer powers have been rather accurate in the past. Without them we would have never ended up in this new world.
TT: But the game is over now.
TT: All of the rest of our powers have remained so there is no reason to believe that my powers have been weakened.
TT: So you saw me die?
TT: Not necessarily die. Just disappear.
TT: As if I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth already.
TT: Anyway, I'm welcoming it. Come, sweet death, as they say.
TT: Enough with the allusions.
TT: I have logical reasons for my suppositions.
TT: The rationale is that our powers are ultimately based on the game, and the game is what keeps this universe ontologically stable.
TT: As other game constructs dissipate, and they have, so will the rest of the universe.
TT: According to this line of argument, the conclusion appears to be that we would have to reenter sburb in order to save ourselves.
TT: That is one possibility.
TT: So saving ourselves might require destroying this world.
TT: Again this is all conjecture at best.
TT: If saving yourself would require destroying the world, would you do it?
TT: No, of course not.
TT: Think about it. How many ordinary people do you talk to every day? Do you have any friends outside of the sburb crew?
TT: What's the point?
TT: Would you die for a bunch of total strangers?
TT: ...Yes?
TT: How many?
TT: You aren't going to turn this into some trolley problem, are you?
TT: What is life but a series of trolley problems?
TT: But really, have you ever made friends among the ordinary folk? Is there any one of them you care enough to die for?
TT: Stop projecting.
TT: Stop pretending we're so different.
Rose closes her computer. It is time to go to sleep.