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Peter always knew he was destined for more. His life was more than being a nerd who was bullied. His life was more than sitting on the sidelines and watching others help those in need. When Peter finally got the chance to become a hero, he never expected to come under the wing of The Tony Stark. Peter’s life became infinitely more interesting. Fighting crime in a decked out, awesome suit was more than a dream come true. What Peter never prepared for was becoming closer to Tony. Almost like father and son. Tony, although he never truly expressed it, thought of Peter as a son. Peter was this wholesome, never-ending fountain of hope. Tony could never understand where he got it from, though. He lost his parents and his uncle. Damage like that would hurt any normal human. But, Tony considered Peter to not only be physically non-human, Peter was mentally strong too. Beyond human capacity.
But then Thanos took on the Avengers. Peter snuck on the donut of a ship, and Tony hoped that whatever the outcome, he didn't lose his family. Losing Pepper and Peter would make Tony spiral. After the failure on Titan, and seeing everyone else fail, Tony lost hope. At least he had Peter still, right? But the next minute was something Tony could never prepare for. Hearing Peter mutter the words, “Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good,” was daunting. Tony had to hold his kind-of-son in his arms as he watched his body fade to that of dust.
The next five years brought on struggles, but Tony pushed that away in his mind. He had a daughter now, and his wife never dusted so it was all good. But then Steve, Nat, and Scott came knocking on his door proposing a radical idea. The only thing pushing Tony to go was Peter. He discovered time travel for Peter. Went through time for Peter. Fought against a giant purple madman again, just for Peter. And when Peter swung through the portal, Tony felt like all was well. He has his sort-of-son back. The years of pain alleviated by the face of the one and only Peter Parker. The hug the two shared was short-lived but gave both the power to fight on.
Peter never expected to come back and see another father-figure die. When Tony grabbed those stones, and looked Thanos in the eyes, muttering the strongest phrase there is, Peter felt fear. This was Tony’s legacy. This was Tony’s destiny. This is what Tony was meant to do. Saying goodbye to a friend you'll see soon is easy. Saying goodbye to another man in your life who changed who you are for the better seems impossible. But that was what Peter was. Peter was the impossible. Peter was the teen who fought in an intergalactic war to stop a man from killing half the universe. Peter was the boy who could stop a bus with his bare hands and lift an entire building off of him. But now Peter was the boy who came back and had to see Tony in his last dying moments.
The first night, just like the next 3 months to follow came with numb feelings. Peter felt only sadness, fear, and the daunting feeling of someone behind him. His Spidey-Senses were in constant attention, and his senses never calmed down. Sleep was a luxury. Every time Peter closed his eyes, the dying body of Tony was there. The feeling of his body splitting away by the ashes, and the eyes of the now-dead purple enemy infected Peter’s mind. The pain never went away. Peter started to distance himself. He was afraid he would lose another person. He lost too many people. He felt his world crumble. He felt alone.
Of course May gave him his distance. Left the teen to mourn and grieve naturally. But when she noticed his gaunt figure and the apprehensiveness for physical touch (Read: Peter’s main show sign of love was physical), she knew something more was up. Therapy was hard to explain considering he couldn’t tell anyone he was Spider-man so how the hell was he supposed to explain to this woman that the reason he can’t bring himself to eat, sleep and function normally is because he fought in a war that didn't involve guns but magic stones? May gave up on the lady, and decided to have Peter talk to her. He didn’t, of course, and would eventually work himself to panic attacks every night. He needed help and May felt that she was failing him as his aunt and guardian. Happy tried to help, he really did. He missed Tony a helluva a lot and it hurt to see a bubbly kid turn into a really shut off one. It hurt to see Peter hurt. What made it worse was that Happy even saw some of Tony in Peter. And Happy didn’t want Peter to go down the same path Tony did around the time of his parent’s death.
It was a nice relaxing breakfast (for May. Peter couldn't get out of bed this morning) when Pepper stopped by the apartment. She hadn't been seen in public or been in contact with anyone besides Happy and Rhodey since the battle. The knock on the door caught May off guard. She put her coffee down and walked up to the door, unlocking it slowly. She never expected to see Pepper standing in the doorway. May just hugged Pepper, and didn’t say a word. It was a much needed embrace. Pepper fought back tears. She was a strong woman and could keep her composure if needed. The two women sat down at the table, and May brought out two glasses of water. Pepper took the cup graciously.
“I don’t usually stop by people’s homes unannounced but I was able to get Morgan to finally take a nap without crying and Happy said he would stay and watch. I think I needed to see Peter. How is he, by the way?” Pepper asked, using a gentle, reserved tone.
“Pepper, I’m terrified. He is acting so out of character. He hasn’t been eating much, he rarely talks to anyone anymore, and he-,” May started to say, her hands moving around frantically.
“I had a feeling this would happen. The way I coped with Tony’s death was staying around Morgan, and talking to Happy and Rhodey. The three of us talked a lot and conveyed how we were feeling. It helped. Yes tears have been shed and will continue to shed but I can now talk about his death without crying. But you should be concerned for Peter. His coping mechanisms seem to be mirroring Tony’s. My assumption is that he hasn't been sleeping and is overworking himself?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“That's what I thought. Can I talk to him? I think having someone like me there to confide in would really help.”
May nodded her head, and made her way to Peter’s door. Before she opened it, she could hear his muffled screams. Pepper noticed May’s worried look and quickly made her way to May’s side. The two women stepped in the bedroom quietly, only to see Peter bawling his eyes out, into his pillow. On his bed stand was the brown bag that Tony left the suit he made for Peter all those years ago. Tears stained the bag, and Peter didn’t notice anyone in the room until Pepper put her arms around him. He looked up at the woman and her heart sank. He really did not look good. His red-rimmed eyes and gaunt face worried Pepper.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” May gently closed the door behind her and went back to the kitchen to finish her coffee.
Pepper rubbed gentle circles into his back, until he turned around quickly and sobbed into her shirt. She had never seen him this broken. Even when she had to pull him off of Tony’s body, he was not this bad. Pepper didn’t know how to make this better. She expected him to be bad but even when the Mandarin was a threat and Tony couldn’t sleep at night, he never was like this. Tears came to her eyes. She should have appreciated the giant damn bunny. Tony did put a lot of thought into it. Pepper hugged Peter tighter and started crying too. She gave up on trying to say anything. Being there with him and understanding without words was good enough. May came back and found them still hugging, but she noticed Pepper’s tears. This sparked an idea from May. She called Happy and Rhodey. Told them to bring themselves and Morgan. The two men were confused but instantly obliged when May mentioned Pepper and Peter.
A quiet knock on the door confirmed their presence and May let them in, ushered them to Peter’s room, and took Morgan to distract her with extra Legos Peter didn’t really care about. Rhodey and Happy could feel the sadness in the room, but their hearts broke more when he saw Pepper and Peter crying in each other’s arms. Rhodey pulled the two up, and the four people became one giant group hug. The four adults (if you count Peter as an adult) that Tony really cared for. They all missed Tony so much. They all missed his snarky comments, his smug smile, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about what he loved. They loved all of Tony, even his flaws. They loved Tony, and they missed him more than words could explain, but they knew Tony did what he had to do. So in his honor they all hugged it out. Made up for the hugs they should have given Tony, and made up for the hugs they should have given each other. Whatever life threw at them, they knew that the man who changed all of their lives may be gone, but his impact is everlasting.
“It’s not enough to be against something. You have to be for something better.”
– Tony Stark
Thank you Tony Stark for inspiring a generation of engineers, creators, and heroes. The impact you made has changed the world. You may be fictional, but your legacy is nothing near fictitious.
We love you 3000