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The battle was a bittersweet success. The loss of most of the pillars, as well as a great part of the regular slayers, burdened more than one shoulder. But for Senjuro, the worst news came with time, after everything settled down. He already felt worried when he didn't hear anything about Tanjiro. It was like he never existed in the first place or like the ground opened up and swallowed him. Nobody was willing to tell him even after he asked, up until the moment he managed to run into one of the newly appointed pillars. Senjuro was frankly unsure of whether or not there was any need for them anymore. After all, he was told Muzan was dead. What more need was there for the demon slayers now that the original reason for their existence was dead?
The man's hair matched his yellow haori nicely and though he was hardly as intimidating as some of the former pillars, he would still grow. Senjuro often saw him hanging out with Nezuko so he assumed he had to have at least some information about her brother. Since the girl never left Tanjiro's side when she was still a demon, it was almost a necessity for the lightning pillar to at least have known Tanjiro. The younger of the Rengoku brothers had to gather up all his courage to approach him. Though his father's relationship with the corps had improved during the battle, he still felt like he had to keep it a secret from him that he was going to visit one of the pillars, not to mention how busy all three of them had to be.
But he was in luck. Just as he stepped through the gates of the freshly appointed pillar's brand new estate, the blond emerged from the door. Senjuro immediately froze in the spot, bowing his head in a polite greeting. He looked up when he didn't get any reaction, only to find the young man staring at him. He couldn't be much older than Tanjiro, about a year at most, so it made sense he would be confused by this level of formality.
"G-good afternoon!" He stuttered a little in his greeting, looking anywhere but in the honey-colored eyes of the pillar. "My name is Senjuro Rengoku. I came to ask if you know anything about my friend Tanjiro. I haven't heard anything about him since that large fight happened and nobody wants to tell me."
He could see the cogs turning in the blond's head. He was obviously unsure of what to do with him and Senjuro couldn't blame him for that. He hadn't even sent a letter upfront to inform the lightning pillar of his arrival. Surely just blurting out his request like that had to confuse the man. He was awaiting a dismissal, or maybe a question about his involvement. He just hoped he wouldn't be told off because of his father's earlier actions since that thing seemed to had been resolved for the most part.
It surprised him when he saw two streams of tears flow down from the kind eyes that were still staring at him. The feeling of dread heaved down Senjuro's shoulders as he bit his bottom lip, waiting for the answer. He didn't want to pressure him when he was clearly mourning but he had to know! If there was one thing the gentle boy hated from the bottom of his heart, it was this uncertainty. Was Tanjiro injured? Unconscious? Dangling between life and death somewhere in the Butterfly Estate? Just what was going on?
"Tanjiro... is no longer with us." Finally, the pillar spoke. Now it was Senjuro Rengoku's turn to stare. What was he saying? Tanjiro was dead? That had to be a joke, right? No way that could be true. There was just no way...
"How..?" Did he even want to know? He realized he wasn't ready. He tried deluding himself into thinking Tanjiro wouldn't ever leave him. It was impossible, right? Tanjiro was someone with such a bright spirit, someone who never gave up. He couldn't just die like that. The pillar was talking to him but all Senjuro could hear was the pounding in his ears. He mumbled a quiet thanks, not caring he interrupted what the man was saying, and turned to leave. A dull pain resonated deep within his chest and he suddenly felt empty.
It wasn't the same as when he lost Kyojuro. Back then, his world was flipped upside down. It was thanks to Tanjiro that it still held together at all. Now that even he was gone, everything shattered entirely. His way home was slow and he remembered nothing from how did he manage to reach his destination. The whole trip was a blur, and not because of tears. Those didn't come until he was safely back home, in his room, and even then, they just waited for the night to fall.
He couldn't sleep. All his thoughts kept running back to Tanjiro and how he would never see him again. They didn't have many direct memories together but from Tanjiro's letters, he always felt like he was there with him whatever he was doing. The Red Lights District mission, the recovery training, then the Swordsmith village adventure, and even the training with the pillars – they were all described so well he could imagine every last place and visualize everything that happened. Not only that but he also often imagined himself there, side by side with Tanjiro and all his friends.
And now it was all gone.
It was around midnight, he presumed, when his tears ran dry. Senjuro no longer had any left to cry but he also couldn't fall asleep. Deciding not to force himself, he lit a candle and headed to the closet. He pulled out a wooden box that contained little, at first glance at least. With just a couple books, a set of drawing chalks, and some paper to draw on, it wasn't the most interesting thing for anyone to look through. But under the fake bottom, there was a small stash of letters hidden. Senjuro figured the least he could do was read them over.
He picked up the pile, starting from the first one. It came shortly after Tanjiro left after telling them what had befallen his brother. He was in a rush for the next mission in the Red Lights District together with the Sound pillar. Senjuro remembered how surprised he was to receive a letter so soon after his leave. It was sent in case Tanjiro couldn't talk for some time because he didn't want his new friend to feel lonely. It was just like him to care so much even though they had only just met back then.
When Senjuro woke up, the sun was already shining through the window to his room. He didn't remember when exactly had he fallen asleep but seeing all the letters scattered on the floor was enough to make him panic momentarily. Sure, there was no reason to keep hiding it now that his father could no longer hold anything against Tanjiro but the force of habit made him rush to collect them all again. He was just done putting them back in the neat file when he noticed something odd. Stuck under his window was a piece of folded paper. Curious, he walked over and picked it up, rolling it over in his hands. There was no address or anything of the sort so it was a mystery how did it get there. But when he opened it, his breath hitched in his throat. In a familiar cursive, the letter read his name right on the first line but the rest was completely foreign to him. A letter he hadn't read before. One he couldn't had possibly read.
Dear Senjuro!
Thank you very much for your letter. It helped me a lot during the fight, you have no idea! It was scary at times but we managed to pull through just fine. Giyuu and I defeated Upper Moon Three. The one who killed your brother. Now he can rest in peace. We are resting a little bit now. We're going after Muzan soon. I hope I will make it out but I'm sure that whatever the outcome is, we can defeat him. We have to! Everyone is doing their best, we can't let everyone's sacrifices go in vain.
I'm sorry I can't write much more right now. I got a nasty blow to the head and my vision is a little blurry. I will certainly write you another letter once everything is over if I can. But even if I don't make it out alive, I'll be content with just contributing to everyone's efforts!
Stay safe,
Tanjiro.
Senjuro didn't realize how much his hands were shaking until he reached the end of the letter. He had no idea how did it get there or why did it only get there now. Two fat tears fell from his eyes and seeped into the paper, blurring out the ink on the last line. Quickly, he brought the precious letter close to his chest, protecting it from more stains. He didn't care if it was Tanjiro's damn ghost that brought him the letter to fulfil some sort of a last regret of Tanjiro's. This letter was his goodbye and Senjuro would be damned if he didn't cherish it properly.
He carefully folded the letter back and put it to the file of the other letters before hiding it back in its usual spot. He had his household duties to take care of. But he knew for a fact that he would be returning to the letter later. Probably in the evening or during the night again. It was not ideal. He wanted to spend more time on his own, only silently mourning Tanjiro, rereading his letter, and coming to terms with reality.
The door to his room suddenly rumbled open and he almost dropped the box from the surprise. His father stood at the door, beckoning for him to come with. All he could do was quickly hide the box back in his closet before he followed after Shinjuro to the front yard.
"Somebody came to see you. They're from the corps."
He wasn't sure who to expect. Did he do something that would deserve everyone's attention? Maybe someone came to officially announce that Tanjiro died? No, that made no sense. He wasn't family, he wasn't even particularly close to Tanjiro. He didn't even know if the boy shared his feelings, though he honestly doubted it. So why would there be..?
His tension left him a little bit when he saw the familiar yellow haori. The lightning pillar came to talk to him? Perhaps to tell him more about how did Tanjiro die. Not that he wanted to hear it but if he could find out some more, he would take any and every chance he got. Especially after that letter he just got, he wanted to know more. He felt like he had to know more. For Tanjiro's sake more so than for his own.
The man bowed to him in a greeting, not unlike what Senjuro had done the day before when visiting the lightning estate. He seemed much more nervous this time, if that was even really possible, constantly skipping his look from Senjuro to his father and back. Finally, he cleared his throat and spoke up.
"G-good day..."
That was it? Senjuro watched him for a few moments in silence, waiting for something more. When nothing came, he gave a small nod. "Good day..."
"I- uh- About what happened yesterday... About what I said I mean-"
He was getting so lost in his words Senjuro couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It had to be hard on the man, especially if he was as close to Tanjiro as Senjuro believed. He wanted to help him out a little but he wasn't quite sure how. His glance fell on Shinjuro who was glaring daggers at the blond, only stressing him out even more. No helping hand to be held out there for sure. While the pillar was freaking out, Senjuro clenched his fists tighter, urging himself to speak up. He already knew the worst part. A few more details surely couldn't make it any worse.
"How did Tanjiro..." The words still got stuck in his throat, heavy and hard to push through. Both his father and their visitor looked at him, concerned like he was about to say something forbidden. He shrunk back even more under their accusative glances like it was his fault that his voice came out as weak and small as it did. "How did he... die?"
For a brief moment, he could had sworn the look on the lightning pillar's face was that of confusion and relief but it was gone so quickly he was left wondering if he just imagined it all. He felt a hand land on his shoulder and turned back to find Shinjuro with an expression he couldn't exactly recognize. There was an emptiness in his eyes, but also something too akin to bittersweet happiness. Like something was right and wrong at the same time. He let himself be guided by the hand to the porch and sat down. The pillar followed them and once they all settled down, he started talking. Senjuro soon understood why he was made to sit down.
He had been right and wrong at the same time. The pillar was indeed someone close to Tanjiro. But he did not suspect just how very close they were. The blond's name – Zenitsu – appeared in Tanjiro's letters constantly. He and another slayer called Inosuke were Tanjiro's closest companions who accompanied him on most of his adventures. The three of them were the best of friends, always there for one another despite the great differences in their personalities, tastes, and just about everything else as well. If Senjuro thought he was suffering, he couldn't had imagined how much pain the two of them had to be in. And yet, he had the feeling he was in a situation much much worse because of his feelings. Regardless of how he looked at Zenitsu, all he could see was someone who lost a dear friend. It was nothing like the loss he went through.
He excused himself after a while, leaving his father alone with the pillar. He thought he wanted to know more but all it did was claw at his already aching heart and tearing out chunks of flesh and feelings and even more tears. He curled up on his futon, glad to not be disturbed for the rest of the day. As if he knew what he was going through, Shinjuro had brought him lunch and dinner, not overstaying his welcome by a second. Oh, that was right, Senjuro reminded himself, he knew what he was going through. He had also lost someone he loved. Suddenly he felt bad for always being so harsh on his father.
A week passed uneventfully. Senjuro had spent most of his time in his room, reading the old letters, the last one especially, and occasionally drawing a bird that happened to land by his window or on a tree just outside of it. Surprisingly enough, his father let him grieve and took care of the house as well as the cooking. The smell of alcohol hadn't been fainter in the house ever since Senjuro's mother died all those years ago. He had once heard a saying that all evil was always good for something and he could now only cringe at how painfully accurate it was for their situation.
Then, suddenly, there was a knock on his window. He pushed himself up from the futon, scrunching his nose a little at the sudden smell of sweat all over him. He hadn't really had the energy to bathe in a few days. At his window, there was a bird. A crow. Its feathers appeared to be glinting silver in the sunlight and he could had sworn he caught a glimpse of red when it looked directly at him. Something like a faint trail of smoke was rising from it, giving it a rather mysterious look. It was flying in one spot, continuously pecking on the glass to get his attention. Slowly, he pushed himself up and went to open the window. Was it a crow of the demon slayer corps? What was it doing here? Did it bring him a message from Zenitsu? Did they find out something new about Tanjiro? He knew it was a naive hope but he had to at least believe!
There was a neatly folded piece of paper tied to the crow's leg and it stayed still just long enough for him to take it off before flying back out and soon disappearing from sight. How curious that it didn't wait to see if he had a response... He hesitated before opening the letter. What if it was more about what happened? More about how they lost Tanjiro? Would he even want to know?
It wasn't until he noticed his name in the familiar handwriting that his thoughts quieted down.
He stared at the paper in his hands dumbstruck. This had to be impossible, right? One last letter that was written before Tanjiro died was entirely possible. But two of them? That was unlikely. And yet, he could recognize that handwriting anywhere. With shaking fingers, he unfolded the letter and started reading. Was it possible Tanjiro was still alive? Could everyone be so wrong? But they saw him dead, didn't they? Zenitsu had said that his heart and breathing had stopped. They checked and they sat with him the entire time everyone was getting treated but he showed not a single sign of waking up. So how could he..?
Dear Senjuro,
You won't believe what happened! Or perhaps you will because you have always believed in us. We did it. We actually did it. We defeated Muzan! Nothing's left of him now. I can't believe he's finally gone. The monster that killed my family and caused suffering to so many people, and he's gone now, just like that! Well, not actually "just like that". The price we had to pay was terrible. We lost most of the pillars, only Giyuu and the wind pillar remain. We lost a lot of people tonight. I know it was all for the good of this world and I know everyone has laid down their lives with pride. By becoming demon slayers, we all agreed to this. We all decided to put our lives on the line for the sake of everyone. But it's still hard.
At one point, I thought I was going to die too. Actually, at more than one point. After Yushiro controlled the biwa demon (I will tell you about the biwa demon when I see you, her blood demon art was really incredible!), he managed to get the fight to the outside again. We were far away from where we started but it didn't matter. By then, I was already scratched by Muzan a few times but I didn't really think much of it. As it turned out, Muzan's attacks were actually poisoned though. I blacked out for the longest while. But the others fought so well in my stead! Even after Muzan cut them and attacked them again and again, they never let go for a single second! I got back up thanks to Yushiro's medicine and me and the serpent pillar managed to hold him back for a while longer. Everyone came together so many times after that too!
When the sunrise was drawing close, really close, Muzan mutated a large tissue cocoon and I got trapped inside of it but I still had my sword. When Muzan tried to hide underground, his skull burst because of the sword. Or at least that's what they told me. I was out for the most of it. And I don't really know what happened after that either. When I woke up, everyone was already gone and I was alone under the starry sky. I was wondering where did everyone go but I'm all good now. They said I would get new missions soon, so I will inform you about everything again just as usual.
Thank you for the letter you sent me before. Reading what Yoriichi said about Muzan really helped me through this fight. I will never forget how much you contributed, Senjuro!
I hope you're taking good care of yourself. I will see you soon!
With love,
Tanjiro ♡
Senjuro could only stare. Was Tanjiro... alive? He was going to come to see him soon? And he was already going on missions in spite of all his wounds? There were too many things that were hard to believe about that. But, was it so wrong for him to do so? Tanjiro was someone special. He had the mark his father said was proof that he was someone special. He had to know the truth. He had to figure it out as fast as he could. Without wasting a single second, he hid the letter with the others and rushed to put some proper clothes on. If there was one person who would know about Tanjiro's state, it had to be the lightning pillar. He had to go see him right away.
He met Shinjuro in the hallway. As much as he wanted to just keep walking so he could be at the lightning estate as soon as possible, the confusion on his father's face stopped him. He had been taking care of him diligently for the entire time he was practically useless. He deserved to at least know where his son was going. He turned back after already passing the man, taking a deep breath before bowing his head as a goodbye. He wouldn't take long but it was better to be formal, right?
"I am going to the Lightning estate. I want to hear more about what happened there. I will be back before sunset, there is no need to worry for me."
To his surprise, before he was even finished talking, his father embraced him suddenly. It made his breath hitch a little but there was nothing violent about the hug. It was warm, soft... It was understanding. Senjuro found himself relaxing in it, a few small tears falling down his face. When Shinjuro pulled away, he reached behind his head to fix his ponytail for him. How strange... If anything, the boy was expecting him to try and prevent him from going.
"Be careful on your way." Shinjuro spoke quietly, in a tone much gentler than Senjuro had heard from him in years. "If you get delayed, spend the night there and come back in the morning. Take your time. Ask them about whatever you want to know. You don't need to hold back."
Senjuro thought the instruction a little strange but he only gave a nod and promised he would heed his father's advice. Then he was let go and set on the way. It was strange. Last time he walked down the dirt path to the estate, he had been a nervous wreck, expecting the worst news, yet the truth managed to be even worse than what he had expected. This time around, he was a nervous wreck just as well but for entirely different reasons. He had a sliver of hope now. And even if it only would get crushed, it couldn't be any worse than last time. It... couldn't be. Right?
He reached his goal sooner than he had expected to. The front yard was quiet this time around, only the wind chasing cherry blossom petals was present. Senjuro braced himself to walk further and knock on the front door but nobody came. How strange... Was Zenitsu on a mission? This soon after the battle? No, that couldn't had been it. His leg had clearly been broken during the fight and even dismissing all the other injuries, that was still a pretty major setback. Surely even with the current lack of arms, he wouldn't be sent out right away.
"Hello? Is anyone home?" He called out, perhaps too quietly to actually be heard but he couldn't bring himself to raise his voice further. An uncomfortable feeling settled inside of him as if he was being watched. But it was ridiculous of course. It was still morning but the sun had been up for some time already. There was no way a demon would get anywhere near the estate. And if a human was watching him, he didn't need to be worried at all. Still, he found himself turning around anxiously, checking every corner and shadow for a pair of predatory eyes just waiting to jump and mercilessly devour him.
A hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to flinch and yelp. Behind him stood a young girl with long hair and eyes of the same color as Tanjiro's. She blinked in surprise a few times but then gave him an awkward smile.
"Sorry, did I startle you? I didn't mean to. Are you looking for someone?" Even her voice reminded him of the supposedly dead demon slayer. Could this really be Nezuko? He had heard she was no longer a demon but to think he would get to meet her this closely... He bowed a little and offered his greetings, only for her to gently pull him back up, insisting it wasn't necessary. Then he could finally explain the purpose of his visit to her.
He wasn't quite sure where to start. Telling her he got a letter from her dead brother would certainly be insensitive. He decided to go with what he had come up with for his father in the first place.
"I've heard what happened to Tanjiro..." He saw her shrink back ever so slightly upon hearing the name. Gods, he hated reminding her of that surely terribly painful experience. "I just wanted to ask if there are any... details that I might not know about. I know it was Zenitsu Agatsuma who told me in the first place so you probably won't know what he told me already, but I was just thinking maybe someone here could help me."
"There is no new development yet."
The phrasing surprised him. What did she mean by yet? Was there still hope for anything? It must had shown on his face because she only shook her head gently.
"Not that I think it's realistic to expect much if anything."
She quickly threw a damp towel on his barely flickering candle of hope but that wasn't entirely unexpected either. There was another thing he wanted to ask, connected to his previous question but in a way she wouldn't immediately catch on. He didn't want her to feel bad in case no strangely magical-looking crow appeared to her with a letter. After all, he could tell how betrayed he would feel if his brother decided to communicate with someone else and not him from the afterlife.
"You are Nezuko, right?" She gave him a small nod, unsure of where he was going with that but as it soon turned out, she underestimated his questioning qualities. "Do you believe in ghosts? O-or spirits? Do you think they can do things? Other things than being vengeful? Can they help? And can they communicate?"
Nezuko seemed to be taken aback by the sudden meteor shower of questions at first but she soon offered up a cushion for Senjuro to sit on while she herself sat flush on the wooden porch. It didn't appear to be troubling her so the boy decided to leave her comfort up to her. He just hoped she would finally speak again soon. He wanted to hear some answers and he wanted to go home. Since Zenitsu wasn't here, he doubted anyone could give him a very accurate description of the events surrounding Tanjiro's death without repeating what was already said by the lightning pillar. Finally, the girl opened up her mouth again.
"I don't really know whether I believe in those things or not. I know that during my time as a demon, it would be memories of my mother coming to stir me awake after I had fallen asleep at a particularly bad moment. At times, I even felt like she was still there like I could touch her warmth and hug her." Nezuko seemed to genuinely be pondering over his question. In a way, that made him feel important. "But I haven't had anything like that as a human yet. It was both refreshing and scary now that I think about it."
"I see. Thank you very much, you've helped me a lot." He certainly had a lot to think about and it seemed like that still wasn't all.
But Senjuro merely excused himself to head back. It wasn't late yet, he didn't have to hurry, and he didn't even learn that much. Yet, it was quite enough for one visit. That same feeling he had earlier that day had returned. He was being watched, or at least he thought so. But now, after the conversation with Nezuko, he did feel a little more confident. Perhaps it was Tanjiro's ghost watching over him. Perhaps that letter he got was the actual last regret Tanjiro had. Though it did say he would send another letter and even come to see him soon.
In his naivete, Senjuro hoped those were just empty promises. He couldn't had been more wrong.
The following three weeks were a confusing time for Senjuro. The ghostly crow would appear every few days, carrying a new letter, stories of new, fantastic missions and adventures. Some of them were joined with his friends, others were with people Senjuro had never heard about before. But all of them were undoubtedly Tanjiro's. The same handwriting, the same style, even the same folding.
After those came a few days of complete silence. The crow would sometimes still come, but it never carried anything. It stared at him through the window, watching his every move, even following him around the house at times, though it never entered. And it was always gone before the sun set. He didn't think much of it. It was just a ghost crow carrying in ghost messages after all. He had talked to Zenitsu since then, the pillar confirmed that Tanjiro was indeed still dead and, in spite of what the letter told Senjuro, he was definitely not back to work.
On the fifth day since he stopped receiving any news from Tanjiro, the crow didn't come the whole day. For Senjuro, who had got used to its company, it felt odd. The house was suddenly empty even though his father was there, still letting him rest and taking it upon himself to take care of the house and meals. Senjuro spent the day staring out of his window and sketching the mystical crow but it didn't show up. The sun went down, the estate slowly plunged into darkness. And like during most nights, loneliness started closing in on the boy. He hugged his own petite body, pulling his blanket as close as it would go and imagining himself in Tanjiro's strong protective arms.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the window.
With a yawn, he slowly staggered up, only to come face to face with the crow. With a letter tied to its leg.
Senjuro immediately jumped from his futon, hurriedly opening the window and letting the bird in, worried it might take off if he took too long. This time, however, it stayed. Even after he removed the letter, the crow stood by his window, head tilted aside and red beady eyes staring at him. They seemed to shimmer in the last remaining bits of light – or perhaps from the candle lit in Senjuro's room. The letter was, as usual, folded neatly and with his name written as beautifully as ever. He felt his heart flutter in excitement. What kind of adventure would Tanjiro tell him about this time?
Dear Senjuro,
I couldn't simply not notice you never reply to my letters anymore. What happened? Are you no longer happy with them? Don't you enjoy the reports from my missions anymore? Don't you want to know what it is like to be a real demon slayer? I put so much effort into my letters, yet you never reply. I'm getting tired of waiting.
With love,
Tanjiro.
It left the boy puzzled. Tanjiro wanted him to reply? But how? Tanjiro was dead, right? There was no way to contact him. He did consider tying a letter to the crow but he doubted it would work. Things from this world could never cross to the other and vice versa, even if an exception was made for Tanjiro's letters. And wasn't it supposed to be bad luck to give something a person created to a ghost?
A cold shiver ran down the flame boy's spine all of the sudden and as he whipped around to face the window again, he found the crow watching him intently. The red eyes reminded him of what he had heard of demons. The hunger in those eyes, the way the bird eyed him like it was getting ready to eat him whole, how it shifted its wings as if getting ready to attack, all of that made Senjuro slowly back away, step by miniature step, all the while not letting the bird out of his sight. Why was this the first time he'd noticed that he had no idea.
He finally felt the door behind him. With a shaky hand, he felt for the handle to slide it open but as luck would have it, he just couldn't find it no matter where his hand went and he couldn't look away out of fear the uninvited visitor would do something terrible if he only dared to look away. They stared each other down for a good while before the crow suddenly turned around, tilting its head up curiously as if someone was calling it. Someone too far for Senjuro to hear. The crow took off almost immediately, leaving a slightly confused Senjuro behind.
He eyed the letter once more. It was unusually short for Tanjiro. But it was most certainly his handwriting. It was sharp and precise, just like his swings with a sword. But it still had the softness of his eyes. But was it wise to put together a response? Would it even be worth it? He was sure the western countries were dealing with ghosts in their own various ways. And he wanted to know – no, he needed to know – whether Tanjiro really wished for his reply. He was only not sure where to begin.
In all his life, no string of days had yet been so stressful. The crow would come once every few hours, staring at him with that hungry look, and bringing yet another letter. He was slowly running out of place to put them in and they were gradually only getting worse and worse. Was Tanjiro hating to be left alone so much? Was he seriously that desperate for company? Senjuro's heart ached just thinking about it. Tanjiro had been abandoned by everyone on the battlefield after he died – or at least that was what he seemed to believe. He couldn't be seen or contribute to the missions they got. All he could do was write about things and hope his letters would make at least Senjuro happy. And yet, he was now ignoring him as well, wasn't he?
The letter that came that evening was different. It was rolled and there was no name on top of it. Inside sat a single sentence that effectively made Senjuro's poor little heart break.
Do you really hate me that much?
He wanted to apologize. Explain himself. Tell Tanjiro the truth. But he couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes off the paper. Tanjiro thought he hated him? Because he never replied, because he wasn't there fighting by his side because while Tanjiro reached the top of his potential, he still had a lot ahead of him.
He hadn't cried in a while but now, he was sobbing like a little baby, trying his hardest not to get anything on the letter. All he needed to do was ask Tanjiro how he could help him. Once he stopped having regrets, Senjuro was sure he would be able to properly depart to the next life and he would no longer be burdened by anything here. Sadly, everything including him.
He sat down at his desk, casting a side glance at the crow that shifted uncomfortably under his rather unusual hard look. He took up a piece of paper and gathered his pen and ink. One answer wouldn't do much, would it? It would only be this one time. He would explain everything and then Tanjiro would understand. Though he didn't want their contact to stop, ever.
He finished up the letter surprisingly quickly. There was a lot he wanted to say but at the very least, he knew what it was. He approached the suspicious bird and, to his great surprise, it let him tie the letter to its leg without any problems. Then it took off again, disappearing in the silver moonlight. He stared after it, perhaps expecting a reply already, perhaps just carrying a stupid hope Tanjiro's letters would now return to normal. He fell asleep in the window that night, only awoken the following morning when his father brought him breakfast. It was only sheer dumb luck that Shinjuro didn't think to look over any of the papers scattered all around his room.
Another few days of silence made him lose all hope of ever contacting Tanjiro again but in a way, he felt relieved. He had probably done what Tanjiro wanted him to. A simple contact, a confirmation someone in this world still loved him, surely had to be enough. All his poor soul was searching for was a little bit of appreciation and just the tiniest bit of love after all. Senjuro was finally getting better again. Helping his father out with the housework drew them closer than ever before, things were finally beginning to take a turn for the better, even though they were still at war and their friends were still risking their lives. For what it was, it was good enough.
Then one night, the crow came again. The paper tied to its leg this time was just a scrap. Just a torn piece barely big enough to contain the information it carried. Tanjiro had always been a fighter but he would never ask his friends to do anything for him unless it was absolutely necessary. And the state of the paper spoke of great necessity.
Meet me in Asakusa, Tokyo.
Tomorrow at sunset.
There was nothing else. And as much as Senjuro felt something was off about it, he knew he had to go. For the sake of his own sanity as well as for Tanjiro's peaceful passing, he had to even if it meant he would have to set off immediately.
It kind of did.
He only took the few things he knew he would certainly need – some water, a bit of food, wisteria pouches to keep away demons, and money for the way. As quietly as possible, he snuck out the estate, though not before leaving a message for Shinjuro. It said he was leaving for the Lightning estate and would be back in about two days' time. The guilt settled deep in his gut for lying to his already hurt father but there was nothing else for him to do. Telling him the whole story about ghost-written letters was simply far too absurd. He had a feeling his father would insist on going with him but that wouldn't do. He had to do this on his own.
He reached Asakusa barely before the agreed time, parched and already without any of the money he took with him. He had never expected how hard traveling on foot could be and it only further deepened his adoration of all the demon slayers. But now, he was finally here. The streets were bursting with life so much it made his head spin. He stayed out of the main street, sticking to the sidelines and keeping an eye out for something – anything – that would look familiar.
Nothing.
The crowd was full but nobody looked even remotely similar to the person he'd been looking for. He had to suppress a sigh of pure disappointment. What was he even expecting? To see a real ghost? In the middle of a busy street? Just how naive was he? But perhaps it was better that way. He was sure Tanjiro saw him at least. he had to be there since he promised. Tanjiro would never break a promise. Was this really enough to let him rest in peace? Senjuro hoped for it. He decided to wait until midnight before setting back home. He had to hurry a bit before his father sent a message to the lightning pillar to ask about his well-being. But for now, he just wanted to rest. He leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and let himself be lulled by the buzz of the city when suddenly, a familiar voice called out his name.
Senjuro's eyes snapped open in disbelief. Was he hearing things? No, there was no way. Before him stood Tanjiro. Alive, flesh and bone and everything. His eyes had a slightly more reddish hue than he had remembered them having. He must had been staring because Tanjiro gave a small chuckle and then went straight in for a hug.
"I missed you, Senjuro." He whispered quietly, stroking the boy's hair. And Senjuro couldn't believe what was happening. "I missed you so very much. It was so painful not to get any replies from you, I was worried something happened. I was worried they told you."
"Told me..?" The most the boy could muster was a weak sob as tears fell onto the black suit Tanjiro was wearing instead of his usual checkered haori. "Told me what?"
"Oh, nothing. You don't need to worry about that anymore." The hand in his hair was calming. It was making him all the sleepier. But it was fine, right? This was Tanjiro after all. His scent was nearly the same, with just some little subtext he couldn't pinpoint but it was a familiar one. He couldn't remember where did he know it from though. Everything was becoming hazy. And Tanjiro's calm, gentle voice was not making him any more awake. "Just don't worry about anything."
~~~
To say the Lightning estate was a mess would be an understatement. Shinjuro had stormed in early that morning demanding to see his son and completely puzzling poor Nezuko. But even after it was explained to the former pillar that Senjuro had not stepped foot in the estate ever since his last conversation with the girl, the panic was far from dying down. Clearly, the disappearance of someone like him could not be taken lightly. It remained a fact that Senjuro left on his own. It was decided that they would continue looking for clues to where he might be back in their house.
Shinjuro recalled vividly the times he went into Senjuro's room during the past month. He would almost always find his son cradling a wooden box. However, not even finding and investigating it brought much new to the table. Things got all the more stressful when Zenitsu was called off for a mission. With only Nezuko and Shinjuro there, both of them were quickly losing their last bits of hope. It wasn't until Nezuko started putting Senjuro's things back in the box that she noticed something.
"Mister Rengoku?" She called out, earning an annoyed grunt but the man paid her attention either way. "I think I found something."
She took the few items she put in back out and glared in focus as she slid her thin fingers in the small crack under the bottom. It came off with a pop, revealing a stash of neatly kept letters. She took up the first one, ready for anything but what she found.
Her fingers shook as her eyes slid over the lines, not even really reading what was written there. The paper soon enough flattered out of her hold and fell to the floor.
"What is it? What happened?" Shinjuro frowned, picking up another letter. "What are these? Who sent him these things?"
She was quiet for a little bit. Then, with a trembling voice, she finally spoke up again. "My brother did."
The frown already nesting on his face only darkened. That was all he had to know. His only remaining son was abducted. And by the demon king of all people. He just wasn't fully sure why on earth would he do that. There was nothing that special about Senjuro after all... was there?