Chapter Text
November 21, 2043
From: Endymion, To: Helen
Dear Helen,
It’s been three months since the mission started. I hadn’t anticipated how lonely I would grow to be. I thought it wouldn’t affect me — me, the kid who used to spend my summer holidays in my room all day, only talking to my parents when necessary. I told Control, and they suggested writing letters. I can’t send them, of course. But they said the act of writing to someone real, with pen and paper, would help me. So that’s what I’m starting today. Their psychologists are the most well-paid on the planet, so I guess they know what they’re doing. It feels weird… but kind of comforting at the same time?
Anyway. The mission is fine. Mostly I dig up ice. Mostly it’s the machine that does it. I’m free to walk around the moon during the day. Or, well, I assume it’s “day”. All I know is it’s ‘day’ when I’m awake, and ‘night’ when I’m asleep. You ever get that on Earth? Do you think you understand? I hope I don’t sound silly. Not like you’ll ever read this anyway
I hope you’re doing well. Hope work’s okay.
Yours,
Endy
December 24, 2043
From: Endymion, To: Helen
Dear Helen,
It’s been over a month since my last letter. I got so much second-hand embarrassment I’m sorry about that.
It’s Christmas now. Or about to be. It’s the first Christmas we’ve spent apart since the one when your mother got sick in 2036. I hope you’re having a good Christmas dinner. I’m feasting on canned food, as usual. At least it tastes better than it looks, I’ll give it that.
Merry Christmas, from Europa. (Wish I could send a postcard with that.)
Yours,
Endy
December 31, 2043
From: Helen, To: Endymion
Dear Endymion,
My therapist suggested writing letters to you. I don’t know if you’ll ever get to read them, but I’m doing it anyway. For myself.
I’ve been seeing her quite regularly for the past few weeks. It’s been hard without you. I miss you. I wish you were here. I sound so cliché
Dad hasn’t been feeling great. Had to practically beg him to go to the doctor. He’s going to have some tests done. I know nothing is certain, but you know me — I can’t help but worry.
Hope you’re doing well. Hope Europa is pretty.
Love,
Helen
January 2, 2044
From: Endymion, To: Helen
Dear Helen,
I had the greatest idea today. While doing the usual waiting around for the machine to finish analysing a chunk of ice, I thought: why not code something? Why not have a little machine of my own — one that had your personality?
I know you have never liked my might not approve of may think I’m crazy might call me silly, but I am so lonely need something to do.
I’ve started coding an AI that talks and thinks just like you, Helen. So I’ll have somebody to talk to. These letters aren’t cutting it I’ll call her Helen, too.
I hope everything’s okay back home.
Yours,
Endy
February 14, 2044
From: Helen, To: Endymion
Dear Endymion,
It’s Valentine’s Day. It’s odd to be spending it without you. Doesn’t feel right.
Dad’s test results came back. It’s stage 3. My friends are comforting me, saying he’ll get better. The doctors don’t really say that kind of stuff.
If you were here, you’d know what to say in order to make me feel better.
Miss you, always.
Yours,
Helen
February 15, 2044
From: Endymion, To: Helen
Dear Helen,
It’s done. “Helen” and I said hello to each other today. I told her who I was, that we were on Europa on a mission, and that she’ll only stay with me for the duration of the mission. She’s pretty great so far. She’s cheerful and optimistic, but kind of naive. It’s sort of fun to be around her. It’s amazing to be talking to somebody again.
She has a good sense of humour, too. I’ll note down the jokes she says, so I can tell them to you.
Hope you’re having a good day.
Yours,
Endy
March 6, 2044
From: Endymion, To: Helen
Dear Helen,
“Hel” is really great to be around. She cracks me up with her jokes. The moon isn’t so silent anymore with her here. I told her it will soon be the spring equinox back on Earth and she got so curious about it — she’d never heard of it! She’s just an AI and yet she seems so full of life to enjoy life very much — even if it’s just the two of us on this desert Europa. She listens to me talk for hours and yet she never seems to be bothered by it. It’s hard to be down with her around.
Hope you’re doing well.
Endy
March 26, 2044
From: Helen, To: Endymion
Dear Endymion,
Chemo is taking its toll on dad, I can tell. I’m terrified. I wish you’d never gone on this stupid mission.
Helen
April 24, 2044
From: Helen, To: Endymion
The doctors say the chemo isn’t working. I can’t stop crying.
June 2, 2044
From: Helen, To: Endymion
Dad is weakening. I’m losing him. You both are the only people close to me I have left and I’m losing both of you.
Please come back.
June 12, 2044
From: Endymion, To: Helen
Sorry I didn’t write for so long. I kept forgetting.
There isn’t much going on. We’re coming to a close of all of our analysis. Control says I should be able to see a meteor shower from here in the next few weeks. I’m so excited. I’ve never seen a meteor shower from so close.
“Hel” is doing well. She’s actually decided to change her name — now she’s called “Selene”. I didn’t think AIs could do that — how interesting is that? I think she’s going to love the meteor shower.
Hope Earth is as it always is.
Endy
July 4, 2044
From: Helen, To: Endymion
Dad is dead. My world is falling apart. Why aren’t you here? I need you. I need you and you aren’t here.
July 4, 2044
From: Endymion, To: Helen
The meteor shower was amazing. It’s incredible how small we are compared to the vast universe. The planets, the stars, the moons — these huge bodies that just float in space, without a consciousness, without a purpose — just being. The way the universe doesn’t care about us little ants is so liberating. Space is so beautiful. Selene agrees. It was fun trying to show her the meteor shower through the machine’s screen, and trying to explain to her what it was. I’m glad she was able to see it, and that I was able to, also.
What a special fourth of July.
August 8, 2044
From: Endymion, To: Helen
Dear Helen,
Looks like this is the last letter I’ll write. The mission is officially over. I’ll be back on Earth in time for the end of summer. I’ll have to shut off Selene soon…
I look forward to seeing you.
Endymion