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Tables - The Only Safe Spaces

Summary:

Banjo is scared of lizards, Ricky is mean, cruel and a bad friend, Nick is only there to record this. Splat is a good lizard.

Work Text:

All is silent in the manor. When, suddenly, a piercing shriek echoes through the halls. Banjo McClintlock skilled and talented art thief, runs through the corridors. Desperate to escape his worst fear. He looked around, panicked for an exit, spotting the entrance to the kitchen, and bolting inside. Leaping onto the chair and diving onto the kitchen table. Then there it entered.

Splat, the lizard. Banjo shrieked again, scrambling to the centre of the table as the lizard idly flopped onto the heated floor. They look anxiously around the room, they were trapped. The only exit was the door the lizard was in. Just then Ricky walked through the door stepping over the lizard and standing by the counter, watching Banjo.

"You alright? Why are you on the table" His voice was faintly concerned and confused. Banjo whined and glared at the evil beast on the floor and looked pleading to his friend.

"Ricky! Its a lizard, its fucking evil and its blocking the door!" Ricky pauses and puts the glass they had gotten out of the cupboard down.

"It's a lizard Banjo."

"Its SATAN"

Ricky snorts and watches the lizard for a moment, it sticks it tongue out a little and continues to lay on the warm stone floor. Its legs splayed outwards awkwardly. "Ah yes, Satan, I can totally see that" Just then it stretched out and lumbered towards the table and Banjo lets out a high pitched scream.

Ricky snorts in laughter and then laughs harder as the lizard looks around confused and slightly scared and quickly scampers to the counters. Banjo just screams louder and Ricky starts struggling to breath through his laughter.

"AHHH RICKY HELP!!!" Ricky just laughs harder practically wheezing a high choked noise coming from his mouth as he tries desperately to breath. Banjo just screams more causing the lizard to dart around confused and slightly terrified. Nick storms in and opens his mouth to yell before freezing in confusion and staring at the scene of Banjo screaming bloody murder on the table, Ricky loosing it in laughter and his lizard terrified and confused.

Nick watches for a moment longer before he leaves, causing Ricky to laugh harder. A few moments later Nick returns with his phone, making no move to help he starts recording as Ricky laughs harder and Banjo continues to scream.

After a few moments Ricky manages to wheeze out "D-- Do yo- you need m- me to hhahaha help yo-ou?"

"YES!"

Ricky manages to pull himself together enough to snag the lizard as it skitters past him. Its scrambles a bit but is held firmly but not painfully by Ricky. Banjo stops screaming and instead stares in silent terror at the lizard in Ricky's grip. Ricky, still snickering strokes Splat gently to calm him. As Splat calms Ricky looks up at Nick who is sniggering too, having recorded the whole thing. Ricky glares at him and Nick grins unrepentant as he pockets his phone and takes his lizard back. Exiting the room.

Ricky turns back to Banjo who has begun to calm down. "You alright there buddy?"

"Fuck you" Ricky laughs at that and offers Banjo a hand down from the table. Banjo takes the offered hand and pouts at Ricky who just grins.

"I can't believe you are scared of a tiny scaly thing the size of your foot."

"They are EVIL!"

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