Chapter Text
Class 1-A had numerous theories revolving around their local gremlin. Each person had their own point of view.
Bakugou Katsuki kicks puppies for living and eats baby’s for breakfast is one of the examples of how grotesque and deep these assumptions run. If it would have been about any other person, they might have not gone to such lengths with their ever over visualizing teenage minds. But the situation always turns way different when it comes to angry, irritated and loud, oh so loud, ash-blond classmate. While they walk on a live wire believing that the person on the mark doesn't know about their over-exaggerated hypotheses since they are very much alive and not blasted off to the planet come, Bakugou isn't as socially ignorant as people assume him to be. He knows what goes behind his back. The looks people gave him. Some of the fear, others straight out sneering but too much of a coward to come and say it on his face. They think of him as a monster.
A Villain.
A product, not fit to be a hero.
He tends to ignore these people. For him, they are just extras. Some no-names who should be grateful that they are able to grow up as heroes without anyone questioning their foundations. Those who have already their groundwork laid out for him while he struggles to even qualify as hero material.
It all started with that damned Sports Festival. The Half-and-Half bastard looked down on him like some speck of shit that didn't deserve his highness’s time and attention. Of course, he was fuming. He fucking had a right to be. He assumed that at least UA would see him equal to all their hero course students and give him a fucking choice when he said no. But then why the hell was the goddamn Tailguy was excused, while he got chained and muzzled like a fucking rabid animal.
Everyone saw him. All Might saw him. And they all fucking laughed while he struggled to get out of chains as he can't fucking breathe. That triggered so many years of memories he had buried in his mind. So many nightmares, he had no remedy of.
Fuck. Fuck. FUUCCKK!!!!!
After that day, Katsuki gave up on being anything other than the hero and worked like a madman. He became the first place in hero training and second place in academics. He still had to beat that Ponytail but he was close behind. He just needed to cut out some of his break time which is already close to being nonexistent. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that he beats her. Becomes a rightful number one. So that no one questions him anymore.
You want to demean me, firstly come at my level fuckers.
Number one spot is his safe zone. No one would bother him there.
He also expected that there might be some decent people in UA who would like to be there with him. Not friends, he doesn't have such high expectations because he is not a goddamn stupid, but someone who could at least support him during training. Now, he just wants to smack himself for even entertaining such ludicrous thoughts.
There is no one for him.
He is alone.
Like when he was only four and his mother had accidentally locked him out of the house, in rain, and he spends the whole night knocking at the door because he wasn't tall enough to reach for the doorbell. He was soaked to the bone and his teeth were chattering. He finally blacked out and when he woke up, he was still lying under the tiny shade he found in his backyard. He slowly rose up and went for the door, finding it unlocked. His father was sitting on the sofa, sipping his morning coffee and on seeing the state of his son he immediately called for his wife. His mother came and blamed him for being a brat and running out to play in the rain. He was very confused, scared and cold that time. He could not comprehend what was going on. Why was she screaming at him? And then she smacked him and everything turned black. He had hypothermia.
It was only after that incident, Katsuki figured that he was apparently very forgettable.
If he would not shout loud enough, if he was not flashy enough, people will lock him out and forget. And this time he wasn't sure if he could live through that. So he started to visit the local library to find a book that will help him grab attention. He learned that if you are best, nobody would neglect you. So that's what he strived for. To be best. At everything. From laundering to cooking, he did everything. Age didn't matter to him. He wants to be the best. He needs to be the best. Or he would be forgotten. Again.
But over a period of time, his values shaped with situations. Two types of attention, good and bad. While the former seems to had some unaddressed grudge against him, latter stuck to him like a fucking magnet.
People hated him for no reason at all. He didn't know them, had never even seen their faces and they look at him insect beneath their shoes. Ready to sneer at him at every chance they got.
Turns out his mother wasn't the most upstanding member of society and had her fair number of haters. Since they cannot directly go to her, Katsuki becomes the target. Because why not. He was practically defenceless and cannot use his quirk to protect himself because he would be immediately labelled as a villainous child and his mother would throw him out of the house without second thoughts.
So he endured. And endured some more.
But when he finally can't take it anymore, he snapped at Deku. Poor, defenceless Deku. It felt good and Katsuki was horrified at his thoughts and deeds. He stopped looking at Deku after that.
Or at least, he tried stopping looking at Deku. But for the fuck’s sake, the guy had not a single self-preservation bone in his goddamn body and still tried to follow him everywhere like a piece of shit he was. He tried his best to get rid of him. But no, Deku was a fucking stalker. And just because he was quirkless, defenceless and straight-up loser, Katsuki always became the infamous villainous child who liked to bully the poor little boys in his free time. Everybody blamed him and he just wanted to get rid of that green-haired fucker because fuck that cunning piece of everything bad on this earth and katsuki’s life.
Katsuki knew his attitude was not the most acceptable thing in this world and that half of his problems were a direct consequence from his so-called foul-mouthed villainous actions. He bet the fuckers who blamed him cannot do one fucking heroic act in their miserable lives but still blamed a teenager for being rightfully enraged because apparently society was rotten ass shit and people were all just pile of crap upon crap.
After dorms came in, Katsuki decided that enough is enough. Because somehow he gave his bunch of classmates ideas that they all can actually be anything more than a general acquaintance with him. That they can actually be his friends. Hah. What a joke.
Katsuki can count on one hand the number of people he ever considered anything more than a fellow human being and he wouldn't even need to use his fingers as there are no such people in his life.
He is alone. And now that he had accepted this fact like every breath he takes, anything outside his aloneness makes him want to kill himself.
You son of a bitch, which part of ’don't get your fucking hopes up’ you didn't understand.
Katsuki had enough experience of this ugly world to know that if he gets crushed again even a single more time, there is no hope for him to survive anymore. It would be too painful and doesn't matter how much he convinces himself, he is not strong enough to handle it. He accepted that and lived with that and behaved like that but for these bunch of shitheads, decent human behaviour means open invitation to just barge into his life and ruin everything he had built for so long. He can't let them do that.
He just cannot.
And this all turned out of him locking himself in the dorm room like a religious task and only show his face when he requires some food or to just get out of that bullshit building. Fuck. If his parents actually cared for him, he might have requested to install some nuclear kitchen system in his room so he didn't have to dodge people like literal plagues whenever he goes into the common area. He never envied that Invisibitch this much before. But apparently, he cannot be silent and forgotten so easily, because his whole fucking existence was loud. From his voice to his looks to his quirk, everything was flashy ass shit and he can't get rid of it. And it gets even more difficult when you have literal leeches in the name of classmates who seem to have numerous head injuries in past, impairing their ability to differentiate between being friends and hell-bent annoyances.
Katsuki just cannot understand a single one of them.
Or what are they thinking?
Or what are they smoking?
He doesn't get it.
And looks like their feelings were mutual.
Because they very clearly and painfully doesn't seem to get him too.
What a fucking mess.