Chapter Text
Tony sighed, leaning his head back against the headrest. "Why do I have to be on the backseat, again?"
"Because Steve is the designated driver, by virtue of him staying sober," Pepper replied with far too much cheer. "And I wanted to sit with him, so really, it's not like you have much of a choice."
"Still. I feel like a little kid. No offense to kids, of course," he added, nodding toward Billy and Teddy, who were sharing his predicament. At least the car was big enough they weren't too cramped. "But, you know, it's fine once, and when you grow out of it, you shouldn't need to go back to it."
"You're perfectly happy to sit back whenever we're in a limo," Steve pointed out. "And everyone here is more or less an adult, so it's not like you can claim privileges."
Tony pointed a finger at him. "First, I'll take offense as soon as I figure out how that was an insult against me, because I'm sure it was." Another finger. "Second, limos are totally different, as are any cars with an actual, you know, driver, instead of my boyfriend being at the wheel. Third, I'm the oldest one here, and no, freezer doesn't count. I'm the oldest one by actual years lived, and thus I shouldn't have to sit in the damn backseat. And fourth, I happen to think I own this car, so really this is just several kinds of unfair."
"Actually," Pepper replied, quirking an eyebrow at him over her shoulder, "I do believe this particular car belongs to me. You bought it for me because the color matched my favorite shoes at the time, remember?"
"I remember. And I distinctly remember you saying it was a ridiculous gift."
"Because it was. Doesn't mean I didn't receive it. So, as I am the owner, and Steve is good to drive, really, there aren't any excuses for you to whine."
"Bullshit." He sighed. "Should have taken another car. More cars means more front seats."
"Except you're not sober enough to drive." Steve's tone managed to be both light and reprimanding. How did he do it?
"Yeah, well, then what do I have all these strapping young men for? One of them could drive me. They're not old enough to drink, yet."
Teddy chuckled. "What, you think if one of us was driving, we'd pick you for shotgun instead of each other? I'm sorry, but that's just not how these things work."
"I suppose not." He gave another dramatic sigh. "Maybe next time I'll get a limo and a driver. Or, you know, not have team dinners out again. We can always order more pizza."
Pepper snorted. "I'm sorry, I must have heard wrong. I could swear I heard you say we should have had takeout pizza for Phil and Clint's wedding dinner."
"Actually, no, that's not what I said. I just said any future team dinners, we should stay in. Obviously, this is quite the exception." His head lolled back, leaving him staring at the ceiling of the car. It was very close. "Quite. The. Exception."
"Good, because I was all prepared to take off one of my shoes and smack you with it if you were that idiotic, and that would just be really too much effort." Pepper's expression softened. "It was really all quite sweet, though."
"It was. Simple but beautiful." Steve smiled. "They've certainly waited long enough."
"I suppose it was okay." Not that he had anything against simple ceremonies, but really, any sort of thing where Fury was attending in a proper suit was just terrifying by its very nature. Tony still wasn't quite sure just who had wrestled him into that thing instead of a SHIELD jumpsuit. Natasha, perhaps? He supposed it was part of a best woman's duties to make sure the best man was presentable. Still, not bad. A few words from the Justice of Peace, Kate had handed them the rings, and boom, married. Then came the manly tears and hugs and team dinner with an extra Fury in a very exclusive restaurant reserved exclusively for their use for the evening.
Not bad at all.
"Of course, the next wedding will be a bit more elaborate." Steve grinned at the rear view mirror. "Right, boys?"
"Ugh, don't remind me." Billy groaned, hiding his face in Teddy's shoulder. "Can't we just elope?"
"No, you can't." It was wonderful how Pepper could deliver such news in such a cheerful tone to someone that wasn't him. Brilliant, really. "Of course, you are adults and make your own decisions, but really, I think everyone would like to see a nice, big wedding. It's not like we're likely to get another in at least a generation or so."
"Oh, right, that reminds me." Tony fumbled around a bit, only for Pepper to hand him his wallet from the front, because she was a clever woman and always knew what he needed and damn he was lucky. Opening it, he drew out a card and handed it to Billy, because he happened to sit closer. "Here you go."
Billy blinked, looking down at the card. "What's this?"
"It's a credit card." Because of course the boy hadn't noticed that yet. "For any and all expenses associated with the wedding. Flowers, venue, crazy bachelor party with superhero strippers, I don't care. Though if there are superhero strippers, there'd better be pictures. Or better yet, you should just invite me. I'm great at parties, ask anyone."
"There aren't going to be strippers!" Aw, the boy was so cute when he blushed. "There's only one superhero I want to see stripping, thank you, and I get that every night." …Good to know he still had some bite, at least.
"I think Pepper put together a preliminary budget." He glanced to the front, and she nodded. Great. "However, that's just so you don't get all shocked about costs, not a limit or anything."
"Ah." Now Billy was faltering, his other hand seeking Teddy's. "We can't…"
"Hush. As Pepper said, everyone wants a big wedding. I mean, who doesn't like weddings? It's going to be the superhero event of the year, at the very least. And yeah, I know you still don't feel that comfortable with spending big sums of my money, which is frankly ridiculous by the way, I'm not going to run out any time this century and whatever's left over when I croak will be divided between very few people, yourself included. Which is precisely why I got this card made."
It was Teddy who frowned, now. "What do you mean?"
"What I mean is that, by the time everything's said and done, I going to look at the balance of that card. And whatever sum you've spent, big or small, I'm matching that to a charity. One approved by Pepper, so you'll know it's good." He threw them a winning grin. "Gets me out of thinking of a wedding gift."
"You… what?" Billy blinked once, twice. Then turned to stare at the card again.
"So, you know, don't spare the expenses. Have the kind of wedding you'd have dreamed of back when you were still feeling kind of funny about calling each other boyfriends." He toasted them with an invisible glass, because Steve had these ridiculous rules about drinking in the car. "I can even promise your favorite superheroes will be in attendance. Without any unwanted stripping."
"Hopefully without any unwanted stripping," Steve corrected. "Don't think I haven't heard of what went on in your birthday party, Tony."
"In my defense, I was kind of dying at the time. Which I'm not right now, so don't look at me like that, Jesus, you'd think a guy would know to keep his eyes on the road in New York traffic. No, I plan to be rather less destructive and keep any embarrassment to my speech. No repulsors, no drunk DJing, and absolutely no strapless dresses." He heaved a sigh. "I just do not have the figure to pull it off."
"Now there's an idea." Teddy grinned, and that was good, grinning meant relaxed. "What do you think, Bee? Matching strapless dresses for the entire wedding party and grooms' families?"
"Don't be silly, Tee. Finding a dress that complements everyone's body is far too much headache. I mean, you have seen Tommy's hips, right? No way could he wear a dress that looks fine on Bruce."
"Can't say I have, no." Teddy chuckled. "Only one set of hips on this team that I pay much attention to."
Billy leaned closer and murmured something that drew out another chuckle. Then there was a flash of blue light, and Tony was left alone on the backseat.
"That's so annoying," he sighed. "If they were just going to do that, why didn't they just flash home to begin with? It's not like he doesn't have the range."
"Same reason why you don't fly everywhere," Pepper replied. "Sometimes, it's nice to do things the normal way."
"Bullshit. I would absolutely fly everywhere and anywhere, including the bathroom, if you didn't keep telling me not to. Flying is just that awesome, and my suit is awesome squared."
"No, you wouldn't." Steve grinned, Tony could tell even though he now kept his eyes on the road. "You really think we'd bother peeling the suit off every time we want to kiss?"
"You know, it's absolutely adorable how you still insist on saying kiss even though we all know you mean fuck. I mean, it's not like you're going to traumatize Pepper, she's dealt with both me and cranky business types for untold years now, God knows she could probably swear in at least eight languages if she wasn't too polite to. And it also doesn't make sense as an euphemism when the only people present are those doing the actual fucking with you."
"I prefer to leave the crass language for situations that warrant it." Well, yeah, he did have quite the filthy mouth when things went bad. "And you get squirmy whenever I talk about making love."
"Yeah, well, that's a squirmy term. What's wrong with just having sex? The term, I mean. Obviously there's nothing wrong with actually having sex, not as long as it happens within the boundaries of mutual respect and understanding, and fuck it, Steve, you've obviously infected my brain somehow if I'm actually saying that with a straight face." Not that he wasn't a big proponent of informed and enthusiastic consent, but that didn't mean he had to sound like a damn PSA.
"Maybe you're just growing up," Pepper suggested with a tiny grin.
"Maybe I'm just that drunk." He waved a hand. "Po-ta-toe, to-ma-toe. Same difference."
"I'm not sure that's how the saying goes."
"Close enough. Sue me. Or don't, no, that's a horrible idea, I know my best lawyers like you better, they're not idiots after all."
There were chuckles from his very cruel lovers, and then some silence, as much as one was ever going to get of it while driving through New York.
"One wedding over with, huh." Steve sounded almost pensive.
"The easy one, yeah. The big challenge's still to come." Tony closed his eyes, leaning his head against the window. It was nice and cool. "If we're all still sane and alive by the time the kids are married, I vote we have a honeymoon, too. We'll have earned it."
"Come now, Tony. It won't be that bad."
"That," Tony said, peering out through the tiniest sliver of his lids he could open, "is an abso-fucking-lutely idiotic statement, Steve, and I hope you're properly ashamed of yourself."
Steve, the big lovable idiot, had the gall to actually laugh at him.
Well, he would see soon enough.
*
The weirdness of one's life, Tommy mused, could pretty accurately be measured by what they were doing when you interrupted them in the middle of the day. "Oh, nothing that important," he might have said, for example. "I was just teaching my dad's robot to play catch with my baby brother's pet alien. One of them's nothing but an arm and the other can't even reach the sides of the ball, it's weirdly hilarious in a pretty teeth-melting way." Of course, he never got the chance to actually say it, as his interruption came in the form of a general call to assemble.
When he arrived at the living room, uniform and goggles on because he was efficient like that, the others were still just arriving, putting on various pieces of their uniforms. Kate fastened her quiver securely to her back and flashed him a smirk. "About time there's something to do."
"Oh, I don't know." Clint stretched himself, arms reaching far above his head, and if Tommy hadn't known better he might have thought the man was relaxed. "I wouldn't have minded a bit more of peace and quiet. Criminals apparently have never heard of giving honest people the chance for a proper honeymoon."
"You already had your honeymoon, Merida." Tony nudged his shoulder as he walked past, fighting with the zipper of his flight suit. "Besides, from the sounds of it, this isn't that big a deal. We'll be back by dinner. Right, Agent?"
"The preliminary reports do indicate that the threat is minimal," Phil agreed. "According to the reports, some kind of an animal landed in the middle of Central Park and started charging at people. So far no serious injuries, but there's quite a crowd at the moment, and the animal appears to be agitated, so it's just a matter of time before someone goes too close."
"Damn, and I thought we'd actually get something to do," Tony groused. "Anyone try calling Animal Control first?"
"There is the matter where the animal is very clearly not from Earth." Okay, so that might have been a factor in the decision. "Believe me, SHIELD isn't in the habit of calling the Avengers to rescue cats from trees."
"If SHIELD says it's important, it's important." Steve shook his head, marching into the living room. "Besides, if one animal appeared, there might be more. We'll get there, make sure civilians don't get too close, and see what we can do to contain it. Tony, what's our status?"
"All expected present." Tony tapped at a screen on his way out, checking the readings before leading the rest of them out to the helipad. "Bruce's sitting this one out because of the strong civilian presence; Thor's on a date with Jane but has been alerted to the situation, so he can provide back-up if needed. SHIELD and the police are handling the crowd right now, JARVIS has everyone's comm links in the loop, and I've got the screens set up for Agent."
"Thanks." Steve looked at the rest of them while Tony walked to his launching pad, the suit coming together around him and damn that was some tech boner material right there. "All right, everyone, we've got our mission. I want everyone to take it seriously even though it's not a major threat; civilian safety is at stake here. Phil, you stay here and coordinate. Tony'll fly me over. Billy, I want you to get the rest of the team at the park, after which you and Teddy get both Hawkeyes up in good positions, there should be plenty of trees around. Tommy, you run on ahead, but keep your distance from the threat."
"Got it." He flashed a grin at the Captain, then rushed off. Even taking into account things such as crowds and cars and doors that just wouldn't open, he'd be there first even at what for him was a fairly lazy pace. Indeed, he reached the park long before there was any hint of Iron Man's red and gold in the sky or the blue spark of Billy's portal. He was not, however, there before quite a large number of curious onlookers.
Tommy wasn't much of a fan of crowds, at least not when he had to get somewhere. When the density of the crowd got to a certain point, he couldn't really run as he wanted to; even with his reflexes there were too many variables in a large number of people slowly drifting this way and that, and at higher speeds even he needed a certain distance to make sudden stops and turns if he didn't want to deal with some rather painful crashes. By the time he'd found a way past the gawking civilians, he could already see Billy lifting Kate up into a tree, the others settling into various positions on the ground and in the air.
Then, of course, he saw the animal, and suddenly understood why the crowd was so big.
It looked like a horse, except no horse that big would have had legs so skinny, and the tail would have seemed more at home at the end of a lion than any kind of equine creature. Its hooves were big and split, and as it turned its head to give them a wary look, the spiraling horn jutting out of its forehead shone pristine white in the sunlight.
"That," Billy's voice cut in over the comm, "would appear to be a unicorn." There was a slightly hysterical edge to his voice. Tommy supposed he couldn't blame the poor guy. He felt a bit unsettled, himself.
"Yeah, we noticed." Even Tony's voice wasn't quite as wry as usual. "Except, you know, for the part where these things are supposed to be mythical?"
"They are, in this dimension." And what was their life that this was a sentence that made perfect sense? "There are realities where they are no different from cats and dogs, except obviously much more intelligent. This one must have appeared through a crack in reality somewhere."
"So at least it's not a mass hallucination. That's somewhat comforting, though no less unsettling." Tony clicked his tongue. "Unfortunately, the thing doesn't seem to realize it's supposed to be mythical around here. What can we do to stop it from goring anyone with that very impressive horn of its?"
"Well, the easiest way would be to get someone pure enough to handle it." Billy sighed. "Through some sort of magic or telepathy or whatever, it can get a sense of what the sentient creatures around it are and what they have done. It'll attack anyone it deems impure if they get too close, but someone pure enough should be able to tame it to an extent."
"And what does it consider purity, then? Because if it's not virgins, I vote we throw Steve at it. He's pretty damn pure, you know, aside from the virgin part. I kind of spoiled things in that respect."
"Iron Man, focus." Steve sighed, though the hint of reproach in his voice wasn't as serious as it might have been. They were all still circling the creature, which eyed them warily. "Wiccan? Any info?"
"Sadly for us, it seems they have delightfully medieval priorities when it comes to what is impure." Billy lowered himself down toward the unicorn, only to float away again as it turned its head toward him, eyes narrowing in threat. "According to most of the texts I've read, yeah, penetrative sex is a pretty big no-no. Murder, yes, but not necessarily all forms of killing. Any hints of demonic influence. Anything beyond that, the sources are a bit divided on, and frankly I'm not sure this is something we should try to solve with trial and error."
"Right. Someone who hasn't gotten laid or killed in cold blood. We got anyone we can call on that won't get offended at the mere suggestion?" Tony paused. "Also, can I just say that I'm both impressed and disturbed by the fact that you have more than one semi-reliable source on the morals of unicorns?"
"Just for the record," Tommy cut in, "I take no pleasure in asking this, however amused I would be at any other time. But. You said penetrative sex? How exactly are we defining that?"
"Well, it's hard to say where the definitions are actually the unicorn's preferences and where it's author bias in the sources," Billy sighed. "But considering it clearly didn't take well to me, I'd imagine most forms of insert tab A into slot B qualifies."
"Right. Let's see about that." Then, before any of them could stop him or probably even register just what he had said and tried to stop him, Tommy rushed forward, coming to a halt just a few steps away from the overgrown pony.
The unicorn eyed him warily for a moment, nostrils flaring as though trying to take a good sniff of him. Then, however, it gave a whinnying sound, lowering its head and digging one hoof into the ground. In what he considered an extremely wise move, Tommy took this as a sign to retreat back to his original position. The unicorn tossed its head a couple of more times, then looked around, a tremor running down its sides.
"Tommy! What the hell?" This time, he heard Billy's words even without the comm, the shout carrying far enough. "What were you trying to do, get killed?"
"Just testing a theory, bro. No need to get all bent out of shape, it's not like it's going to catch me anyway." Tommy threw Billy a grin, not that it was very clear over the distance. "Either it's even pickier than you thought, or there's more going on than that, since my experience with hide-the-sausage is strictly hands-on only." And yes, he was perfectly satisfied with that, thank you, and anyone who dared to doubt that could just go fuck themselves with something spiky.
"Demonic influence." He supposed he was impressed enough with how quickly Teddy responded. "You were originally made from Mephisto, right? I mean, there was something going on with his soul and your souls, right? And your souls are still the same even if we've all got new bodies, so it could be reacting to that."
"It's a working theory." Steve, again, trying to get the situation back under control. "In any case, keep your distance, including you, Speed. As Wiccan said, this is not a matter of trial and error."
"We could just try to recruit someone from the crowd," Clint pointed out. "You know, someone virginal enough helps us out, we help them in turn by relieving them of such an affliction. Yeah, it's a sacrifice, but someone's got to do it."
"And you the married man here, Hawkass." Tony's smirk was audible in his voice. "I thought I'd be the one to whore myself out to the masses."
"Please, Stark." Natasha snorted. "With your sexual history, anyone sleeping with you would be more of a virgin, not less. There's only so much filthiness that can fit in one bed."
"Everyone, focus. Don't make me call Pepper." Phil paused, just long enough for everyone to settle down, then added, "You all know any instances of prostitution for the greater good have to be cleared with PR beforehand."
That startled a laugh out of Billy, and Tommy could see Teddy covering his mouth to keep one in. Tommy couldn't help but smirk. "You know, I kind of love how being faced with the ultimate judge of sexual purity this team resorts to joking about rewarding freelance heroics with sexual favors."
"It's the problem with the whole family-team dynamic," Kate agreed. "It's sometimes hard to stay strictly professional when you know precisely how many members of the team have Avengers-themed underwear."
"In my defense," Steve said, his voice the pinnacle of propriety, "the Black Widow bra does offer superior support." He waited for the laughs to die somewhat, then added, "Seriously, though, we need to focus. We'll be here all day at this rate."
"Easy for you to say when we can't get anywhere near without the thing going murder-happy." Tony did a small loop up in the sky. "I suppose I could try and blast it off, but then, I'm pretty sure killing off unicorns in front of this kind of a crowd would be pretty bad PR."
"For now, let's just try to keep it contained. SHIELD will send back-up as soon as they locate appropriate personnel." Ah, again Phil took on the role of the voice of sense and boredom. "No one is to approach without express orders."
That probably would have been it, really, and Tommy was contemplating just dashing back to the Tower, if two things hadn't happened. One, someone from the crowd gathered at a somewhat safe distance shouted, startling the unicorn. Two, the branch Kate was seated on creaked and then broke, sending her hurtling toward the ground. The animal, already agitated, took off toward her at a run as she hit the ground.
Tommy rushed to help her, except in his panic he tripped, he never tripped damn it that was just ridiculous. In the fraction it took him to regain his balance the unicorn had already reached Kate who was still just struggling to her feet, ready to attack, and yeah, he was never going to forgive himself for this mess.
Except the unicorn wasn't attacking. It rushed forward, yes, but then reared up, making a whinnying sound as Kate shielded her head with her arms. Two heavy hooves hit the ground, and the animal was nudging her with its head, looking as close to worried as was possible for something so clearly inhuman.
Kate startled at first, but then lowered her arms, looking at the unicorn. It made a soft nose, nudging her again. As the others drew nearer, still cautious, it reared its head for a moment, but then returned its attention to her.
Tommy stepped forward, not wanting to go too close. The last thing they needed was for the animal to get angry again, not now when Kate was right next to it. Her face was hidden in the unicorn's mane now, her hands making small soothing gestures over its white coat. Her shoulders were shaking, Tommy noted, and it took him a second to realize what that meant.
Kate was crying.
Well, fuck it all.
*
"Kate?"
The hesitant tone made her look up toward the door of her room. It was opened halfway, framing the person standing there in the soft light from the hallway. "Billy?"
"You feeling better?" Billy stepped closer, though he still didn't fully enter the room, hovering over the doorstep. "Everyone's kind of worried."
"I… yeah, I'm better. Sorry to have worried you." She thought for a moment, then added, "Come on in."
He stepped in, then, closing the door behind himself. JARVIS, ever on top of the situation, brightened the lights from the dim semi-darkness she'd been sitting in. Billy walked closer, slower than usual, as though she were now the skittish animal in need of reassurance.
He didn't ask anything. Of course not. He was too nice for that.
"Sorry about that." She sighed, falling back on her bed. "It's just… Well. I can't really explain it, can I."
"I think everyone understands. It was a pretty dramatic situation on all sides." Billy's lips twitched without much humor. "Even without Tommy's idiotic insistence on getting himself in danger."
"Yeah, he's got something of a tendency for that, doesn't he?" She sighed, shaking her head. "Sometimes I wonder how he lived long enough to pretend he's an adult."
"Well, to be fair, there isn't much he can't dodge." Billy came to a halt some ways from her, folding his hands behind his back. "For what it's worth, the unicorn situation seems to be under control now. And by that I mean SHIELD's taken custody of it until we can decide what to do with it."
"And how'd that happen?"
"Apparently, Fury somehow managed to ferret out enough agents who haven't killed anyone in cold blood and are willing to admit to being at least somewhat virginal that they can actually have a reasonable rotation in keeping an eye on it. Clint made some quips about this paralyzing SHIELD's entire IT department, which Tony seemed to take personal affront to."
"Figures." She snorted. "I swear, some day I'll have a team with actual grown-ups on it. Not that I expect that to happen any time soon, but some day I will."
"We can all keep dreaming, I guess." Billy gave a faint chuckle. "In the meantime, debrief's over, what little there was of it. Steve told you not to worry about it and to focus on feeling better. Me, I got grilled by SHIELD's information analysts for so long that Teddy actually showed up to drag me away from them. I'm still not sure what their deal was. I mean, all I could offer was guesswork and little tidbits from conflicting sources."
"Well, you are the closest thing they have to a magic expert. There's Strange, of course, but you are somewhat easier to reach."
"I suppose." Billy sighed, then paused. "So, ah. After I finally got back home, I looked through my sources again. Not thoroughly, of course, but enough to clarify a couple of things." He seemed nervous, like he was constantly tempted to fidget but fighting the urge. "It seems most of them agree that murder is considered impurity, but accidental deaths might be excused. I… guess it might make sense for intent to matter in other aspects, too."
"You know." She didn't bother to frame it as a question. It certainly appeared he was informed enough.
"I've suspected." He shrugged a bit, sitting on the edge of the bed just out of reach. "It's nothing obvious, but sometimes the things you do or say, or the way you do or say them… well. I formed my own theory, even before this. Didn't want to ask you about it, though, because, yeah. Not my place to bring it up. And today… well. It's the only way to explain the situation — the fact that you didn't volunteer, and your, ah, reaction." He paused. "When the SHIELD goons asked about it, I told them I presumed you thought it would be more judgmental about sex than it ended up being, since, well, it did threaten your boyfriend. So, if they have the gall to ask you, stick to that and it'll be fine."
"Thank you for that, I guess." She drew a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I… haven't spoken about it, really. I've only ever told three people. The first was my therapist, the second, Jessica. I think Clint has drawn his own conclusions, but I never told him, not in as many words."
"And the third one you told was Tommy." A guess, but a good one.
"Yes." Her lips curled into a faint smile. "I'll admit, I was a bit concerned about it, but he never had an issue with it. Offered to track down the guy, of course, but that was it. He never thought differently of me because of it."
"Is that why you…" Billy seemed to hesitate, but it was clear enough what he was trying to say.
"Why we haven't gone all the way? More or less. I mean, it used to be, but…" She gave an awkward shrug. "It's complicated."
"Want to talk about it?"
Kate almost said no, more on reflex than anything. Then, however, she paused to think. Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea. It might help her get her thoughts in order, and for all that Billy was as much a master of snark as any self-respecting Stark could hope to be, she knew he would take the matter seriously. Try to lighten the mood with some humor, perhaps, but never make light of her feelings.
"Just so you know," she said, allowing her lips to quirk the slightest bit, "I'm pretty sure taking part in this conversation will officially promote you to girlfriend status."
"I'm afraid that ship has sailed," Billy replied without a moment's hesitation. "Darcy took me bra-shopping the other week. Apparently she needed someone who could give their opinion without either ogling her or blushing seven different shades of red, and she didn't trust Tommy to avoid the former or Teddy the latter."
"And you didn't blush, then?"
"You think I could watch my fashion shows as religiously as I do if a woman in a bra scared me?" He tilted his head. "I'll have you know I have absolutely nothing against breasts as long as I'm not expected to find any direct applications for them."
"I'm sure the breasts of the world appreciate this lack of shunning." Her lips twitched. "Of course, Tommy would probably say you completely fail to give them the proper appreciation they deserve."
"I don't get why he complains. It's not like I'm campaigning for everyone else to give up on breasts." Billy reached out a hand, brushing lightly against her arm. "So, ah. If there's anything you'd like to say, I'll listen. I can't promise I have any useful advice to offer, but…"
"Right." She gave him a faint smile. "It's just… it's kind of complicated." She sat up again, running a hand through her hair. "I won't say I'm entirely over it, because, yeah. Not going to happen. But I am over it enough that I can imagine myself not getting freaked out over going all the way with someone I actually want. The problem being, I'm… not sure that would be Tommy."
"Kate?" Billy frowned, and she wasn't sure it was entirely out of concern for her, now. Not that she could blame him.
"Sorry, that probably sounded really bad." She sighed. "No, I'm not thinking of cheating on him or anything equally shitty. I never would."
"Good. I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to actually figure out how to turn someone into a toad, and that's more of a headache than I need right now." Billy shook his head. "So what is it that you mean, then?"
"I love Tommy." It was something she did not say often, which was probably just as well, given Tommy's tendency to react to anything even remotely mushy by rushing in the opposite direction at his rather impressive top speed. "I'm not sure what that says about me or my potentially masochistic tendencies, but I really do. However, in this situation, that just makes everything worse."
Billy didn't say anything, just nodded. At least he was fulfilling his promise of listening. He was good like that.
"I do want to sleep with him. Yes, we've had sex in its various forms, but never actual intercourse, purely because of my traumas. And I want to do that. But… what if I'm not as over it as I'd like to think? What if I freak out and Tommy thinks it's because of something he did?" In that, at least, the two brothers could be sometimes far too similar. "Yes, I know, I should listen to myself and think of what I'm ready for and other such bullshit, but the fact is, this being Tommy just makes it worse."
"Because you're afraid of disappointing him."
"That, yes." She couldn't help but be relieved that Billy got it without needing much explanation. "He's… I don't want to do that to him. I'm afraid of that happening. And because of that, I'm more nervous than I would be otherwise. So, the fact that I'm afraid of freaking out on him is making me more likely to freak out." And wasn't that just the most charming little mess. "So, yeah. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier if it was someone other than Tommy, someone I don't have such strong feelings for. Except that's never going to happen, so the point is moot."
"It bothers you, though." Billy sighed. "I wish I could offer you some nice and useful advice, really, I do. But, well, I don't exactly have any actual experience on the matter."
"I'm glad you don't." That wasn't something she would have wished on her worst enemy. "And you're already helping. I haven't exactly had the chance to discuss this with a lot of people."
"Well, I'm always willing to listen." His lips twitched, just a bit. "As long as it doesn't involve any actual dirty details about my brother's sex life. There are limits to how far I'm willing to go for the sake of friendship."
"So I shouldn't give you a detailed account of all the ways we've found to work around our respective traumas? His relationship with restraints would probably be enough fodder for a couple of psychological studies all on its own." Which, in a rather twisted and probably unhealthy way, gave her reassurance that at least she wasn't the only one with unwanted baggage in their relationship.
"Not unless you're prepared to listen to the ways Teddy and I have managed to reconcile our mutual power kinks with all the mental hang-ups various supervillains have left us with over the years."
"Oh, I don't know. That might make for a night of very interesting girl talk some time." She gave him a faint smile. "Seriously, though. Thank you for listening. I'm sure you'd have plenty of better things to do, never mind more pleasant."
"Hey, if someone in this little clan is capable of actually talking about their feelings, I'm going to do everything I can to encourage it. I would say something about the emotional constipation of some of our loved ones, but I don't think I have any right to speak, considering my engagement was basically the result of my shutting everyone out until Teddy got scared enough to confront me about it."
"God, we're a messed-up lot." She took Billy's hand and squeezed it a bit. "Then, I'm not sure anyone properly balanced would be doing this job."
"Perhaps not." Billy gave her a wry grin, and seemed like he was about to say something just as a voice from above cut in.
"Miss Kate? I do hate to interrupt, but I fear your food may be getting cold."
Kate frowned. "Food? What food?" She certainly hadn't asked for any; post-mission meals with the team might have been a well-held tradition with the Avengers by now, but she hadn't been exactly eager for either food or company at the time.
"The meal Master Tommy left behind your door earlier."
Kate felt blood draining from her face. As she turned to look at Billy with wide eyes, he shook his head.
"There wasn't anything when I got here. He must have brought it after I came."
"Why didn't he bring it in, though?" She shot up from the bed, crossing over to the door. "It's not like he's been particularly worried about respecting private conversations before." She opened the door, indeed finding a tray on the floor behind it, left just enough to the side a careless foot would not kick it by accident while stepping out. The tray itself bore evidence of the softer side Tommy so vehemently denied having, while its placement spoke of care and consideration he did not display unless he was especially shaken.
Billy was right behind her, the frown on his face as Kate turned to look at him suggesting he had come to the same conclusion. "I'll go look for him." Then, before Kate could even think about protesting properly, he shook his head. "Whatever he heard, he's probably not going to react well to, well, anything from you. He's too shaken by this whole mess, not that he'd admit it. I'll speak with him and try to figure this out."
"Right." She swallowed. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's not the first time I've had to solve Tommy's messes, and I highly doubt it'll be the last." He patted her on the shoulder. "Now, how about you eat something? JARVIS wasn't wrong, it's going to get cold soon. You'll feel better for it, too."
"Probably." Kate nodded. "Thank you."
"Nothing to thank me for. Just try and feel better, okay? Everything will be fine soon enough."
She supposed it was a true testament to his ability to warp reality at his will that, for the moment, it actually seemed believable.
*
"Tommy?"
He didn't bother to turn toward the voice, looking down at the surrounding city instead. "Go away."
"I don't think I will." He heard Billy walking closer, his steps clear even with the sound of surrounding wind and the usual New York traffic down below. "Not when you're acting like this."
"I'm not acting like anything." Definitely not anything he didn't have the full right to. "Why don't you go continue your little heart to heart with Kate?"
"Is that what this is about? That I talked with her? Because if so, stop it. Sometimes it's hard to discuss certain things with those you're closest to. It's not some kind of an insult toward you that she'd confide in me."
"Yeah, I don't exactly blame her for not wanting to discuss that with me."
"Tommy." And finally he did turn, seeing Billy look at him with a frown. "Tommy, what exactly did you hear?"
"I heard enough." Had heard that after everything, after years of being with him, she would have rather had sex with anyone but him. And that hurt. Not because he thought he was owed anything, hell no, not even because she didn't want him, but because he would have thought she would have at least had the decency to tell him to his face if he wasn't good enough for her. God knew he wouldn't have been surprised.
"Well, whatever it is you heard, obviously it was both too much and not enough." Like there was anything that could have made that better. "You should go and talk to her. She's pretty upset."
"She's been upset ever since that stupid fairy tale showed up. Nothing I can do to help, except stay away." He didn't want to upset her any further, not Kate. She was the one person he never wanted to hurt.
"Well, standing up here isn't going to help the matters, either."
"At least here I'm not likely to make things worse." For a moment, they were both silent. "We're never going to make anyone happy, you know." Tommy shook his head. "Never going to happen, for either of us. It's an impossible dream. Yeah, the lizard seems happy enough to stand by you right now, but in the end it's probably going to go to hell, too."
"Tommy, don't be ridiculous." Like he had ever heeded such warnings. Silly little brother.
"It's probably because we weren't supposed to exist, or something. The universe's trying to get back at us, it must be that, it can't get rid of us so instead everything around us goes to hell. I mean, how many family members have we lost by now, combined? Even Teddy lost the only parent he ever knew. And yet somehow he still hangs around because we're all he has because he's lost everything else. Just as well, probably, if he lost you he'd just go on a rampage."
"He wouldn't." And wasn't it just so damn fitting that this was the part Billy chose to disagree with? "Not Teddy."
"Sure he wouldn't. Not as long as you're here, anyway. Something happens to you, he'll have no reason to even pretend to be human anymore. If we're lucky, he'll go off in search of an alien empire to rule. If we're not, he'll decide to hold the whole planet responsible."
"That would be me before it was ever him." And that was supposed to be comforting? "Teddy wouldn't. He's — he's not even capable of such a thing."
"Not to you. You're his morality pet, his reason to play nice. You'll never see his dark side. But if it goes wrong, if he loses you, it'll all be coming down around our ears. And you can't know what he's capable of. He's not even —"
"Tommy, don't." Billy's voice was shaking, now, but there was a hint of coldness to it, too. Cold rage, that was, the worst kind.
"He's not even human." Because when had he ever let common sense get in the way of anything?
"Stop." There wasn't much force behind the word, but then that was what should have worried him, wasn't it. Billy's temper wasn't quite as notorious as his, but he still had the same spitfire tendencies; it took more to get him angry, but when he did it was yelling and fireworks until he was satisfied or the culprit had been reduced to figurative paste. This time, there was no hint of that, just cold fury behind the dark eyes. "You have no right to say that."
"Oh? Hitting a bit too close to home?" He should have obeyed, should have stopped, but he couldn't. He was running too far, too fast, and he couldn't stop even if he wanted to. "He's not human, he never was, even when he looks like it he's really just being Kree. It's just a matter of luck that he happens to be pink and not blue, though you'd probably like that, too, wouldn't you? Does it make you feel more human, standing next to him? Poor little Billy, such a freak all your life, but here's someone who's even more of a freak and next to him even you look —"
Tommy had heard, once, that mutant siblings were supposed to be immune to each other's powers. He knew it wasn't true for them in all aspects, knew that he could take Billy through a wall or step through a portal of Billy's making without a problem. He had never, however, had time to wonder whether this meant being immune to harm from their powers, even if they enjoyed the other effects.
It turned out both to be true and not. He wasn't burned by the lightning, not the way he should have been, but he was thrown back, hard enough to lose his footing and stumble across the edge of the roof. Billy cried out and reached toward him, though whether it was to stop him or to set loose another bolt was something Tommy didn't wait to find out.
He fell over the edge, but was still close enough to get some purchase from the wall. A simple flip, regaining his control of the fall, arms spread out for balance so he wouldn't lose his position. The floors seemed to flip past very slowly until there was a sudden stop. He was lucky, he supposed, to have fallen on the side with the helipad and Tony's landing strip, only a few floors instead of the long, long fall all the way to the ground. It was a hard fall, the floor creaking under his feet, but then his feet and legs took a lot more abuse when he was running at full tilt, striking them against ground faster than eye could see.
Billy shouted something, but he was probably better off not knowing what. Instead he rushed toward the balcony door, past a shocked-looking Bruce, and to his room. Cell phone, wallet, anything else he could get on the way. All he knew was that he needed to get out, fast.
He'd done it, he'd finally done it, he'd managed to get Billy to hate him and even after all this time it almost seemed like a surprise. Well, it shouldn't have been. Nothing good ever lasted, not in his life, even when something seemed to work he always managed to fuck it up, and the more something mattered, the worse the pain that followed. Really, he should have known better by now.
"JARVIS? I'm going out for some time." It wouldn't help much if Billy tried to chase him, but perhaps it would slow the others down a bit.
"I see. And when do you expect to return, Master Tommy?"
"Uh." He wasn't sure if he would, really. "I'm not sure, but I'll let you know when I do, all right?" After all, it was the best he could offer right now.
"Very well." He was surely just imagining it, but JARVIS almost sounded reproachful. Not that it mattered, not right now. JARVIS's disapproval was the least of his worries at the moment.
It didn't occur to him until he was already out of the building that he had no idea where he should have gone. For all the time he had spent in his misspent years constructing elaborate escape plans, he now found himself utterly without an idea of what to do in the imminent event of having run from home. Not that he had, really, he was an adult so he couldn't actually run away, but the principle remained the same.
Lowering the sunglasses that weren't really the same as his goggles but at least they kept away any overly irritating bugs, he started to run. He may not have had an assured welcome anywhere, but there was one place where he at least knew he could spend a night or two.
And if that failed, he supposed he could always call his grandfather.
*
"Billy? Are you here?" Teddy stepped up to the roof, looking around. At a first glance, it seemed as though it was empty, but then he spotted his boyfriend sitting on the edge in a manner that would have been quite alarming if Teddy hadn't known for a fact Billy was nowadays a better flier than Teddy himself. Wind was blowing at his back, pressing his cape around him, hood pulled up to cover his head.
That wasn't very promising. Especially considering that Billy had already changed out of his costume after the mission. That, and his cape didn't have a hood like that.
"Billy?" Teddy made sure to make his steps audible as he approached, not wanting to startle Billy. A sudden drop was never pleasant, even when you could just fly to safety. "Are you all right? Kate said you went to check on Tommy, and then Bruce saw Tommy dropping down and running away." And Teddy had managed to imagine a thousand different scenarios of just what had happened.
There was still no response, and he walked closer still, carefully seating himself at the edge of the roof. For a moment he looked out to the city, quiet, then glanced at Billy. His face was awfully pale even in the shadow of the hood, eyes unfocused, hands clenched into fists.
"Bee, baby, you're scaring me." Very carefully, he reached a hand to touch Billy's shoulder. "Talk to me?"
Billy was quiet for another moment, then finally spoke, voice hardly over a whisper. "I attacked him."
Teddy frowned. "What?"
"I attacked him." Finally, Billy turned to look at him, eyes dark and almost panicked. "I attacked Tommy, Teddy. I blasted him hard enough to knock him off the roof. I could have killed him, Teddy!"
"Oh, Billy, it's all right." He reached an arm around his boyfriend, desperately wanting to just draw him into his lap but their position did not really allow it right now. "I spoke with Bruce; Tommy looked upset, but he was unharmed. You didn't hurt him. You never could."
"He went right over the edge, Teddy. It was only by pure luck he only took the shorter fall, and even that could have killed someone who's not as resistant to impacts. And even if he got away all right doesn't change the fact that I attacked my own brother."
"Okay, I think I need some more info here." Teddy sighed. "What exactly happened? Bruce didn't know anything and Kate seemed pretty shaken, so I decided not to pry."
"I… he overheard Kate and me talking, and misunderstood some things." Billy was shivering. "I went looking for him so I could get him to calm down, but he was so upset, he turned it into a fight. I… he said some things, and…"
"Yes?" Gentle tone, no pressing. "What exactly did he say?"
"He was… he was talking about you." Billy bit his lip. "He kept saying that if it wasn't for me, you'd — you'd go around attacking everyone, basically."
Teddy paused. Then, he sighed. "He's not entirely wrong, though."
"Teddy!" Billy looked at him in shock. "You don't mean that!"
"If someone — if someone took you from me," he couldn't bring himself to voice his fears properly, but he knew Billy would understand anyway, "I would want revenge. I know it goes against all our principles, but I'm not good enough a person to forgive and forget that. You are my world, Bee; if I lost you, I would hunt down whoever was responsible and make them pay. I'm not saying it's right, because I know it's not, but it's the truth." He knew that rage, that uncontrollable anger born out of despair and fear, remembered it bright and clear like a burning flame. He still had nightmares about it, about Billy fading out of existence as Kang defied his own destiny, of his own hand never reaching its target as his claws dissolved into nothingness.
"That's not what he meant, though." Billy leaned into him, eyes closing tight. "He said… he said that if I wasn't here, you'd basically be nothing but a monster. Because —" he choked on the word, swallowed, and tried again, "because you're not human."
"And then what?" He still kept his voice gentle, reaching his free hand to take Billy's. He didn't comment on the words, knowing it would have been pointless. He wasn't human, no, but Billy would never believe otherwise.
"Then I attacked him." Again the whisper. "I shouldn't have, I never should have, but he kept talking and he wouldn't shut up, and I…" Billy hid his face in his free hand. "I attacked my own brother, Tee," he murmured. "I could have killed him, and I knew that, and I still attacked him."
"No, you couldn't have." He stroked the back of Billy's hand with his thumb. "You couldn't have, because your own powers wouldn't have let you. I know you, Billy, and I know what kind of a person you are. Your magic doesn't work if you don't truly mean it. No matter how angry you were at the time, there is no way you could have actually wished severe harm on Tommy."
"Even so, just the fact that I did it —"
"I'm not saying it was your most brilliant move ever," Teddy conceded. "I'm just saying it wasn't as bad as you're making it out to be. Tommy knows that, too; you know he does. He wouldn't have pushed you so far in the first place otherwise, not when he knows what you're capable of. He'll be back soon enough, you'll both apologize, and everything will be all right."
"No, it won't." Billy shuddered. "Maybe he wasn't so far off the mark," he murmured. "Except I'm the monster and you're the leash."
"Oh, Billy." Teddy swallowed. "You're not a monster, you never could be. You are my light, Bee."
Billy paused. "Ever notice how the biggest shadow in the room is always behind the lamp?"
"With hanging lamps, maybe. LEDs in the ceiling? Not so much." It wasn't a good joke, but it was the best he could offer right now. "Come on, baby, let's get you inside before everyone gets even more worried. You'll get a shower and some sleep and everything will look much better in the morning."
"I rather doubt that," Billy murmured, but let Teddy help him up and lead him inside. His hand clutched firmly onto Teddy's all the way, as though afraid he would soon disappear, too.
Teddy held on, and wished with all his might he could have actually made things all better.
*
He could have gotten there in a flash, of course, but by the time he found himself actually approaching the manor, it was nearly dark. He'd made some detours, not entirely sure where, not entirely sure he cared. Time was something of a blur, not the kind of pleasant, vibrant hum that came with speeding through the world faster than most people could ever even understand, nor the dull slow crawl that marched past his eyes when he momentarily managed to pretend he observed things as others did. He just wasn't sure where he'd been, what places he had visited, wasn't sure he cared.
It must have rained at some point, somewhere, because his hair was still dripping wet, cool rivulets running down his neck and making him shiver as they disappeared under his equally wet clothes. Or maybe he'd fallen into water; it seemed as though he could remember doing that at one point. Lapses in concentration were rather unforgiving over water. He'd tasted salt, fighting his way to the surface. The ocean, then. He wondered which one.
The gates were already closed against the approaching night, but that was of little consequence. Just the right vibration, and he was through. Perhaps it wasn't as cool as Shadowcat's or Vision's ability, perhaps he couldn't fly or walk in the air, but it was his way of doing things and that at least was cool.
Maybe he'd inherited it from his father. Wasn't that a thought.
He walked down the path, not bothering to run; it wasn't like he was in a hurry, or wanted time to be any slower than it already was. His focus was back, for the most part, forcing him to actually think, and the faster he went the more time he had for that. It was bad enough as it was.
'Professor?' He wasn't sure if he'd be heard. Sure, the old telepath had the range, but whether he was listening was another matter. Still, he didn't try again. Either he'd get a response, or he'd just knock at the door.
'Thomas?' There was a myriad of emotions hidden behind the simple word, and Tommy found himself wondering if others noticed those too, if it was as clear to everyone or if they passed by too quickly for most people to ever notice their presence. There was worry, most of all, and surprise at his arrival, a flash of pleasure that he would have turned to them before it was buried by guilt over such selfish thoughts. All that was gone as soon as it arrived, leaving behind just enough of a hint of concern for it to dwell on his mind.
'Nothing to worry about, Prof. No world-wide crisis or anything like that.' Well, not yet, at least. 'Think I can stay the night?'
'But of course, my dear boy. I'll send Kurt to meet you at the door, he'll show you to a guest room. Is there anything you need? Some dinner, perhaps?'
'A towel would be nice.' It was something of a relief, speaking with the professor, once he'd gotten over the weirdness of someone speaking inside his head. Thoughts were fast, much more so than words; when he spoke with the professor it didn't feel like he was waiting ages for the other to answer, didn't have to focus to decipher the slow rumbles that other people called speech.
He wondered if people's mental voices matched their physical ones. It was a nice thought, actually knowing someone's voice. He'd all but forgotten the ones he used to know, back when he'd still been normal, when the universe hadn't yet decided to punish him for sins committed long before he was born, in this form, anyway. It was a maudlin thought, and not one he wished to dwell on. Not now, when he was feeling shitty enough as it was.
As he had been promised, Kurt was waiting at the door, tail swishing about in a nervous manner as he peeked out through the half-opened door. As Tommy approached, he reached out a big, fluffy towel. Tommy accepted it with a nod of thanks, applying it to his hair with a vicious force. It didn't do much to warm him up, but at least he was making an effort.
"The professor said you wanted a room." Kurt hopped off some ways, then paused to wait. "There's food in the kitchen if you're hungry, now or later. Anything that isn't labeled by name is freely available, ah, I think you know the way, ja? Do pay a visit when you're feeling better, you can't have eaten much today."
Tommy raised an eyebrow between the folds of towel and strands of damp hair. "And how do you know that?"
Kurt chuckled, though it wasn't a happy sound. He was practically vibrating with nervous energy, taking the kind of restless little steps that marked someone who wasn't quite clear on what they wanted to do, but standing still wasn't it. Tommy could respect that. "You forget who I am, Mein Freund, and how many young faces I have seen over the years. The kind of look you have, people are not hungry, but they still need to eat."
"Well, yeah, still kind of hung on the not hungry bit." Though he knew he'd pay for it in the morning, his metabolism being what it was. Still, he didn't need to listen to this.
"Of course, I cannot force you to eat. Still, you will feel better if you do." Another hop, and he ended up on the rail of a staircase, leading Tommy up. "Believe me, I know this from experience."
"Oh?" He couldn't help but raise another eyebrow even as he followed Kurt through the mostly silent house. "And what would you angst over, then?"
"Oh, you know, the usual." Kurt hopped ahead, blending in with the shadows in a corner, just his eyes and grinning teeth gleaming in the darkness. "Being ostracized by the mainstream society, always falling for the bad boy, shedding season. All the ordinary teenage stuff."
"Yeah, doesn't apply to me. I'll have you know I am the bad boy, thank you very much."
"Or so you would certainly have us believe." Kurt continued upwards. "Ordinarily the professor would wish to speak with you right away, I'm sure, but given the late hour, I think you'll have some reprieve until morning. Though by then, I'm sure everything will look better in any case."
"Yeah, I'm sure." Like hell it would.
But maybe in the morning, he'd actually know what to do.