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Shen Qingqiu stopped short so suddenly on the bridge that Shang Qinghua almost ran into him. Almost! Not actually did! Shen Qingqiu didn't even seem to notice the near collision. He was probably appreciating the scenery or something. That was…a thing he did? A pavilion in the middle of a bridge was probably prime territory for standing around appreciating things. Shang Qinghua wasn't sure if there was any other point to this sort of place actually. Probably not usually in the doorway, but it's not like he was going anywhere without Shen Qingqiu so….
Mid-thought, Shang Qinghua realized that Shen Qingqiu was waving his fan oddly at the doorway. And then Shen Qingqiu turned on him.
"I didn't do it!" Shang Qinghua protested, putting his hands up.
Shen Qingqiu glared at him. "This isn't a shielding that I'm familiar with, so you probably did."
"What shielding?"
"Did you think I stopped in the middle of the walkway for my own health?" Shen Qingqiu snapped, stepping aside and waving a fan at the doorway. It was just a doorway. Pathway? They were on a footbridge with a covered bigger area in the middle, so it wasn't like a real door, just a place where a door conceivably could have gone. There was probably a proper word for it.
Shang Qinghua decided not to answer the question. He'd thought Shen Qingqiu had stopped for the view?
Shen Qingqiu was starting to look suspicious at the silence, so Shang Qinghua hastily moved towards the edge of the covered area. He couldn't see or sense any shielding at all.
There wasn't anything until he stepped up to the edge of the covered area and stopped.
He hadn't meant to stop.
He took a step back and looked more closely at their surroundings. It was...it looked like it was meant to be part of the bridge they were on. Just a big circular area made out of the same wood with a roof that matched the railings. Some seating that even had cushions on it. Roses going up the poles to the roof. A little table in the middle even though in retrospect that was kind of an odd choice for a bridge. It seemed like a nice place?
And then he remembered.
"Oh no it's the gazebo."
"What gazebo?"
"The—well it's not the one that eats people!"
Shen Qingqiu glanced sharply at their surroundings, then back at Shang Qinghua. "That wasn't in the book."
"It was a dumb idea."
"Most of your ideas are dumb ideas. What have you done this time?"
"Well, you know the meme?"
Shen Qingqiu stared blankly at him.
Shang Qinghua waved a hand in the air. "The gazebo meme?"
"I don't know where in the Crab Nebula you're from, but where I'm from 'the gazebo meme' is not enough information."
"You know! Rolling to attack the gazebo! It's on this really old site? And someone told a story about their DND group—Dungeons and dragons, it's a—"
"I know what Dungeons and Dragons is!"
"Well you didn't know the gazebo meme, so I—"
"Explain what you've done," Shen Qingqiu said, waving a fan at him threateningly. "I don't care about the meme!"
"Well, it's a gazebo that ships people," Shang Qinghua said, pointing somewhat helplessly at the roses and cringing.
Shen Qingqiu flicked his fan up and glared at Shang Qinghua over it. "What."
"It, uh—I cut it out, because I realized it wouldn't really work? Luo Binghe would just cut a portal out of it or destroy it. I thought about having it as background for a side pairing, except that one time I had a side pairing there was so much backlash from people who wanted her to be a wife that I scrapped all the other side pairing plans and, uh. Well I guess it still exists?"
Shen Qingqiu sighed. "Then how do we get out of it?"
"We, uh…." Shang Qinghua ran over his options, and then threw out all of the suggestions that would get him hit with a fan.
It didn't leave him with much. In fact, it left him with nothing.
That wasn't promising.
He was kind of worried that Shen Qingqiu would realize why Shang Qinghua's face was flushed and hit him anyways, even though that wouldn't be fair at all, because he hadn't actually said any of the things!
"Maybe it'll realize it's a bad ship?" he finally suggested.
Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes. "When has that ever stopped shippers?"
"Sometimes!" Shang Qinghua shifted nervously. "I mean, people move on from ships, right?"
"Five seconds after getting them?"
"Well if there's no chemistry…." Shang Qinghua trailed off, because for some reason Shen Qingqiu was glaring at him even harder.
"If you're going to be useless, then I'll solve it," Shen Qingqiu snapped, turning to look at the rest of the gazebo.
Shang Qinghua kept his mouth shut, fidgeting. Cucumber-bro was good at this sort of thing, so if Shang Qinghua just kept quiet, he was sure that he'd solve it. He was probably already figuring out the shields or some complicated thing!
"I can't believe that you made this specific gazebo plotline and didn't recognize it. How many bridges have we crossed with a gazebo in the middle? One! This one!"
Or he wasn't figuring things out and they could wait here until Liu Qingge noticed they were gone and showed up to smash the thing. That was good too!
"It doesn't always look like this!" Shang Qinghua protested. "It's a teleporting gazebo!"
"That just happened to exactly match this bridge."
"It can change how it looks. It had to be smart to be able to catch Luo Binghe off guard!"
Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes and sighed.
Shang Qinghua braced for a tirade.
Then Shen Qingqiu opened his eyes again and Shang Qinghua realized things were even worse than he had feared. Shen Qingqiu didn't look mad anymore, he looked intrigued.
That wasn't good.
"How does it teleport?"
"By magic?"
"What causes it to teleport, Airplane."
"It, uh, it teleports if it needs to isolate people or if it needs to go to a more romantic location?"
Shen Qingqiu glanced at the gazebo railings with narrowed eyes. "I can work with that."
"What?"
"Can it understand us?"
"I mean, I guess? It's not going to have a conversation, but it knows what's going on?"
"Knows what's going on or knows what's being said?"
"Is there a difference?"
"Yes, you idiot, of course there's a difference." Shen Qingqiu sighed, then looked up at the ceiling. "This is why having us in a lake isn't going to work. The longer you keep us here, the more likely I am to chuck Shang Qinghua into the water."
"Cucumber-bro, I don't think—"
"Of course you don't; you never do. Which is why the only thing that will make me the slightest bit happy with you is if you go collect the Five Spotted Vinefrogs and bring them back to me." Shen Qingqiu sat on one of the cushioned benches. "It'll take you quite a while, so you better get going."
Shang Qinghua wilted. "Even if it would let me out, those are still days away! We were going to stop at the inn here first!"
"Then you should start moving." Shen Qingqiu pulled out a book.
Shang Qinghua tried looking pitiful, but Shen Qingqiu wasn't even looking at him.
It really wasn't fair! It's not like the gazebo was going to let them go just because Shen Qingqiu got out of doing their errand!
The gazebo probably wouldn't let them go at all, actually. Shang Qinghua moved towards the entryway, ready for it to stop him again.
Instead as he made to step outside the edge of the gazebo railing, the scenery shifted. What was a flat bridge turned into steps, which Shang Qinghua promptly missed.
"Are you okay?" Shen Qingqiu asked, moving to the edge of the gazebo and looking down at where Shang Qinghua was getting up from the dirt. The gazebo had changed how it looked already. The wood was all rustic now, and there was moss on the roof. The roses were still roses.
"Yeah," he said, brushing himself off as he got up and looking around. They were...they were in the forest they need to get to.
"Are you going to come help?"
"I have to stay in the gazebo," Shen Qingqiu said, looking smug. "Try not to be too long."
Shang Qinghua was tempted to argue, but Shen Qingqiu was already turning towards the inside of the gazebo, taking out a tea set of all things, so he decided to quit while he was ahead.
This had to be the dumbest way that anyone had ever gotten out of work.
By the time Shang Qinghua had gathered enough frogs, he was thoroughly ready to lie down on the floor of the gazebo and go to sleep. Hours of chasing around after frogs that could cast illusions had messed with his head enough that he was starting to feel really ill.
He had at least found a rare flower while he hunted them! At first Shang Qinghua had assumed it was an illusion, because Drifting Oil Lotuses weren't even supposed to grow in this area? But there it was! All iridescent and translucent! He couldn't remember everything about the flower, but he did know that at some point in the book it had been used as a cure for some impossible disease or poisoning or something. It was useful! More useful than the frogs!
And, since they were supposed to be appeasing the gazebo, instead of handing it over as an ingredient, he could actually be romantic with it! It wouldn't be real, of course, but it would be nice? Even as a pretend thing for an afternoon? It was probably the only chance he'd get to give Shen Qingqiu flowers in a romantic sort of way and not get chased out of the room.
He just had to keep it together for long enough to do that.
Shen Qingqiu looked up as Shang Qinghua stumbled into the gazebo. "What happened!"
"I, uh." Shang Qinghua tripped a little, wincing as his knees hit the gazebo floor. "I think the frogs messed up my equilibrium?" He pulled out the flower? "I got you this?"
That was...that was not the romantic gesture that he'd been imagining.
He really hated those frogs.
Well, no, that was a lie. They were cute and mischievous! He just resented them a little bit.
Shen Qingqiu reached out for the flower, then suddenly recoiled in horror. "That's a Drifting Oil Lotus!"
"It heals things, doesn't it?" Shang Qinghua asked, wavering a little. Had he misremembered?
Shen Qingqiu pulled a silk handkerchief out of his spatial storage, wrapping his hand in it before taking the lotus by the stem. "It does. It's also an incredibly deadly poison if you touch it with bare hands." Shen Qingqiu's voice had taken on that cold calm he sometimes had when solving something complicated. Shang Qinghua liked it. Usually he liked it more, but right now he was poisoned, so he could be excused for not liking things as much?
"I guess it was mean to blame the frogs then," he muttered.
"Probably," Shen Qingqiu said, kneeling down next to him. Then he raised up the flower and ripped off one of the petals with his teeth.
Shang Qinghua's eyes went wide as he watched Shen Qingqiu eat the petal, "Didn't you say it was poisoned!"
Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes at Shang Qinghua, setting the Drifting Oil Lotus and its silk wrapping down on the little table. Then he reached out, grabbed Shang Qinghua's shoulders, and kissed him.
The sudden shock of clarity was enough to remind him of how this particular cure was used...which was almost disappointing because it meant he knew it was just a healing tactic and he couldn't enjoy the kiss? It was a good kiss? Even if everything was all of a sudden even more spinny than before?
Shen Qingqiu pulled away from him. Shang Qinghua couldn't hear what he was saying over the ringing in his ears, but all of a sudden the wood of the gazebo was changing. Shang Qinghua had enough time to think that it looked kind of like the architecture on Cang Qiong before he passed out.
The first thing Shang Qinghua saw when he woke up was Shen Qingqiu's worried face.
"I made a deal with the gazebo," Shen Qingqiu said.
Shang Qinghua heavily considered that he was still dreaming. He didn't feel like he was dreaming? "What?"
"It's going to live on Qing Jing and not kidnap anyone, and we're going to have weekly meal dates in the gazebo."
"Like...meetings?"
"No. Are you not even listening? They have to be dates. I persuaded it into the concept of a slow burn."
"Couldn't we just...not go into it?"
Shen Qingqiu almost looked upset, but the expression was quickly hidden behind a fan. "If you're that opposed to the idea then we can just pretend until we—"
"Wait!" Shang Qinghua struggled to sit up. "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"Is your short term memory having issues?" Shen Qingqiu stood up. "I'm going to fetch Mu Qingfang."
"Huh?"
"I just explained why we had to have meal dates in the gazebo."
"I remember that part!" Shang Qinghua protested. "I didn't realize you meant a real date!"
Shen Qingqiu glared at him, then swept out of the room without a word.
Ten seconds later he flung the door back open, pointing his fan at Shang Qinghua. "Two days from now. Lunch. Don't be late!"
Shang Qinghua sat in the bed for several moments, baffled. So...so that meant it was a real date?
It was a real date!
He flopped back down, staring at the ceiling and trying to remember if he actually knew anything about dating at all and how much of that would apply to a lunch date in a magical gazebo.
None of it would. Not even a little bit.
He'd just have to wing it. If he'd gotten a date based on this mess then he couldn't possibly run into worse trouble on Qing Jing, right?