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Tony, on Valentine's morning, awoke to J.A.R.V.I.S. speaking to him and Pepper needling his side.
"Captain Rogers requests your presence in his quarters," the A.I. was saying.
He turned groggily to admonish Pepper to stop poking him, and when he looked at her he found himself jolted awake.
"What the hell are you wearing?" he asked, eyes wide in surprise.
Pepper gave him an angry look then rolled her eyes.
"As if you don't know," she snapped at him.
"Honestly, I haven't a clue," he said then sat up in their bed.
When the sheets fell off him his eyes opened wider, if that was possible.
"What the hell?" he gasped.
Pepper crossed her arms.
"You really had no idea?" she said, but Tony was relieved that she seemed to finally believe him.
Stumbling out of the bed, Tony walked over to the mirror. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if it was possible to see something different when he opened them.
No. He was still dressed in some sort of animal pajamas. He turned to Pepper, dressed in the same pajamas.
"Well, at least we're foxes," he told her, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"So who put us in kigurumis?" she asked.
"Is that what these are?"
Pepper nodded.
"J.A.R.V.I.S., who did this?" he asked to the air.
"No person," the A.I. replied. "At 5am, there was an unusual power surge surrounding this area. I presume that was when the change occurred."
"Anyone else affected?" Tony asked.
"As everyone was in their private quarters," J.A.R.V.I.S. said. "I am not able to assess."
Tony began to undress as he grumbled.
"Captain Rogers is still requesting your presence," J.A.R.V.I.S. interrupted his thoughts.
"In his quarters, yeah, I remember," Tony groused. "Gotta change first."
Several minutes later, Tony stepped out of the lift and into Steve Rogers' living room. He was met by an unusually grumpy super soldier.
"This isn't funny," Steve barked at him.
It was quickly obvious Steve was extremely angry with him, and Tony assumed it was directly related to the animal pajamas the man held in his hand.
"So, you're a tiger?" Stark asked.
"What did you do, Tony?"
He was surprised at the threat in Steve's voice, unsure why something this simple would set the man off.
"You promised when I agreed to move in that I would have complete privacy, that no one would have access to my quarters without my permission," Steve's voice didn't grow louder, but the threat in it was more ominous, and now that Tony understood the reason for it, he could see why this would anger Steve so greatly.
Deciding that now, while Steve was obviously comparing this incident with his lack of privacy from SHIELD, was not the time for jokes, Tony simply explained what happened.
Steve relaxed noticeably as he did, so Tony did as well.
"I'm sorry it happened," Tony told him. "JARVIS is trying to figure what the power surge was, and now that I know it wasn't just Pepper and myself, I'll go talk to the others."
"Stark, I'm sorry I assumed," Steve started, but Tony interrupted him with a wave of his hand.
"Don't worry about it," he said. "After the way SHIELD treated you, I can imagine what you were thinking, and why."
Tony left with Steve's tiger kigurumi to check on the rest of the inhabitants of the tower. Natasha had awoken in a purple dragon kigurumi, which she handed him. It had horns on the head and wings on its back. Tony wondered if there was a significance to each outfit. But he had to check on Bruce, first, who, it turned out, had slept in the lab.
Bruce assured him that he'd awoken in his own clothing, which Tony knew he could easily verify with the security cameras. Leaving the two outfits he'd collected so far, he went up to speak with Clint.
"This wasn't you, Stark?" The archer asked, laughing slightly as he handed Tony a purple dragon kigurumi.
As Tony looked between the outfit and Barton, he decided it was better not to say anything about what Natasha woke in.
He returned to the lab and tried to get to work. The power levels were odd, and they actually didn't make any human sense at all. He and Bruce talked it out for a while before Bruce finally had a thought that would help.
"Remember that crazy guy we brought in last week?" He asked.
"Yeah, that guy saying he was some sort of master illusionist,"
"Well, he did turn the Eiffel Tower into a redwood tree," Bruce reminded him.
"I wonder if they've had any success changing it back?" Tony pondered.
"Maybe he did this," Bruce suggested.
"What, put a curse or something on us?"
"It's always possible," Bruce shrugged. "And it is Valentine's Day, so."
Bruce left the comment hanging and Tony looked at the five kigurumi laid out on the table next to them. He and Pepper had matching, as, to his surprise, did Natahsa and Clint.
"I thought they were just friends," Tony muttered.
"Probably are," Bruce commented. "Doesn't mean they both don't want more."
Tony stared at the purple dragons thoughtfully for several minutes before moving on to the tiger, the only unmatched outfit.
"You didn't awaken in one of these," he said absently to Bruce. "But Steve did."
He looked back at Bruce.
"I don't get that," Tony said. "Do you think Steve has already moved on? It's only been two months since Maria dumped him."
Bruce gave Tony a meaningful look.
"Maybe neither of them has," he said.
"Oh, come on," Tony spat out in disgust. "She hates the guy."
Bruce said nothing while Tony allowed himself several minutes to seethe in the anger the mere thought of Maria Hill caused. The whole time she'd probably been leading Steve along, watching him for SHIELD. Only they hadn't pulled her off the job soon enough and Steve had gone and fallen in love with her. Tony hated that even he, though he had his misgivings, had honestly thought Maria's feelings for Steve were genuine. It had taken a marriage proposal to prove Maria's true colors.
"You going to check?" Bruce interrupted his dark thoughts.
"As if the Iron Maiden would ever divulge that information to me," Stark scoffed.
Bruce only looked at him.
"Still," Tony thought aloud. "If she was at SHIELD this morning."
He turned to his computer to see if he could figure out if and when Maria had been anywhere he might be able to catch what had happened. She wasn't on duty until six that morning, but Bruce suggest they check the security camera footage outside Maria's office during the 5 o'clock hour.
Tony looked at him, a question on his face.
"Sometimes she sleeps in her office," Bruce shrugged.
As Tony turned back to his computer he recalled that, while most people chastised Bruce for getting so caught up in his work he often fell asleep in his lab, Maria never had. Tony pushed back the sympathy his mind attempted to give Agent Hill, then scanned the security footage.
At around 5:30, they saw someone walking down the hall. They stopped the fast forward and realized it was Jasper Sitwell. He was carrying a knapsack and he stopped at Maria's office door and knocked. The door opened a crack and a bare arm darted out and grabbed the bag from Japser's hands. A moment later, the arm pushed back out, this time holding a bundle which was shoved into Jasper's arms.
Agent Sitwell said something, probably to Maria. Then the door shut and Jasper unfolded the cloth bundle to look at it.
Tony heard Bruce hum in interest beside him. And Tony couldn't help but admit to himself that he, too, was intrigued.
Jasper was staring at a yellow and white tiger kigurumi, identical to Steve's.
Deciding it would only hurt and confuse Steve if he knew about Maria's involvement in the incident, Tony and Bruce decided to say nothing for now. Later, as they gathered in the common lounge and Tony tried to explain, partially, what happened, Clint asked the question he'd forgot to prepare an answer for.
"So, what were you, Bruce?"
Tony covered his concern with the glass he'd been bringing to his mouth but, fortunately, Bruce didn't skip a beat.
Laughing he told the group, "A pink Hello Kitty."