Chapter Text
Ygritte stormed into the hall.
- Where is my HUSBAND?!
- Ygritte, honey ...
- Don’t "honey" me, you bastard! What does THAT mean ?!
Fiery redhead throwed the newspaper on the table.
*
All this madness started because of a bunch of stupid pictures.
They were just starting to shoot "Robert Roy", big production based on legendary medieval rebel, who took from the rich and gave to the poor and the crew had a little binge. Jon and Sansa played a pair, and because it was supposed to be her first kisses on the screen, the boys began to jolly ruthlessly at her that she would not have the courage to kiss Jon. Longstory short - she was provoked and apparently the paparazzi caught them fooling around. Properly cropped photos - without Theon and the younger historical consultant Ramsay, dying from the laughter of course - circulated the tabloid press and the internet.
Ygritte and Jon got married two months earlier and Ygritte threatened Jon to divorce and the producer a scandal if "they don't quickly fix all this mess."
The whole team was called. After a short brainstorm, Westeros HBO representative summed up.
- No problem, we have to arrange a date for Sansa.
- Why?! - the youngest member of the team was indignant. - For what?!
- He's right. - said Jaime Lannister, absorbed in the new dummy of the historical sword. He was already wearing a chain mail and a tunic with three lions on his chest, a neatly trimmed beard and golden hair combed in historical fashion, but modern enough not to look grotesque. - It will follow you through the whole picture.
- Great idea! - she hissed. - They'll make me a husband's thief first, then they'll make me a loose.
- Not if you make an appointment with Jaime! - a delighted producer clapped his hands. - Have you read the rankings from fan sites? They call you both...
- You must be crazy or want me to break the contract! - Sansa paled and literally ran out of the photo hall.
- What did I say?
Theon and Ramsay laughed at the same time, soon they were joined by Pep, Gryn and the others, Robb Stark looked like he was going to kill him with a look, Jaime kept poker face and was watching the sword all the time, and Ygritte demonstratively made a "facepalm".
- Man, she's been in love with him since childhood! He must have driven away from her on the set of "The Last Dragon," and she has hated him ever since. - Robb finally explained as red as beet, because no one was eager to explain.
- I do not understand. This is wonderful! Just in time for a media story!
- You are crazy! Producer or not, you are talking about my sister!
- And that's why I don't work with Yara! - Theon resonated.
- Fuck off pal, my old man is wonderful and doesn't play the drama queen. - Ramsay replied cheerfully.
- Are you done? - Jaime growled. - Can we deal with serious matters? I would like to note that the main actress threatened to terminate the contract. I skip the fact that she is too young for such a sulks, but I'm not surprised at all. A bunch of fools, and I have to play nanny again ... If you weren't getting such good toys, I'd kick your ass. - He grinned at Ramsay and, with a true knightly gesture, sheathed his sword, turned on his heel and headed outside.
- What is this all about? - Ramsay was surprised.
- He finally divorced.
- OHHH, well THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!
*
- Sansa? - A soft knocking sounded. - Sansa, I know you're there.
- Go away!!!
- Sansa, don't be a child, come out. Ygritte exaggerated, you don't have to date anyone, especially me.
- But you said ... no, go away! I'll make an appointment with Ramsay.
- Over my dead body and not during these photos! - He called cheerfully.
- You fell on your head?!
- Yesterday, from a horse, but not on my head and luckily there was no paparazzi. Come out, half of the plan hears us and the assistants look at me strangely.
- It's your turn, buffoon, so that the crew look at YOU strangely. She grunted, but slowly began to break.
- Guilty as charged, my lady.
- Don’t call me like that!
- Like what, my lady?
- Jaime LANNISTER!
- What, Sansa Stark?
- You're insufferable. - She sat on the bed.
- You know it and you love it. Listen, if you go out, I will spend whole day with you, take you for dinner and buy you a lemon cake for dessert.
- Doors are open. - she couldn't stand it, she laughed.
- Good girl! - He fell into the trailer in full gear and knelt on his left knee in front of her. - Will you forgive me that I was such an asshole?
- You are like an unruly boy who counts on getting out of trouble with personal charm.
- How well you know me ... probably the best of all fake girls.
- You never had a fake girlfriend.
- There always have to be the first time. - He gave her hand a flourish gesture and kissed her palm. - Shall we? - he pointed at the door.
They left the trailer chased with curious eyes and whispers.
- Sansa, will I be able to count on false sex?
- When it all ends, I'll suffocate you, okay?
- Suffocate sounds interesting, but my kink relies on something else.
- I DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS!